Breakaway (8 page)

Her mother looked dubious. “We’ll see. He’s got charisma, that one.”

She began to rise from the table, but Erin asked her to please sit down. “You’ve had your say. It’s my turn now.”

“This’ll be rich.”

“It will and all,” Erin shot back.

“Right, I’m sat down,” said her mother, settling back into her chair.

“Why was I the one coming back from Moneygall with the groceries?”

Her mother furrowed her brows. “I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do, you understand perfectly well. It should’ve been the person you’ve hired to replace me.”

Her mother looked cornered. “I haven’t had time to hire anybody. It’s been busy. The summer…”

“It’s going on months now,” Erin pointed out plaintively. “Months. We agreed I would only be helping out for a short while, but I’ve started to feel taken for granted; you just keep piling more and more stuff on me.”

Her mother stiffened. “I don’t understand.”

“First it was just laundry and making the beds. Then I started doing the shopping. Now you’ve got me vacuuming sometimes and baking the odd batch of scones.” Erin pressed her lips together. “This is hard for me to say, but if you don’t hire someone by the end of this month, I’m going to start interviewing people myself. I already put an ad in the paper and have had loads of responses.”

Her mother pretended not to hear. “Darlin’, I don’t see what the problem is. Aren’t you happy to be working with your family?”

“No,” Erin said bluntly, regretting it immediately. She had to tread the boards softly. “I have other things I want to do in my life.”

“Like what?”

“Get a college degree.”

Her mother snorted dismissively. “Don’t be daft.”

Erin’s insides felt like a dull razor was being scraped across them. “Why is that daft?”

“University is for snooty people. You know, like Aislinn’s sister Nora.”

“You had no problem with me taking courses when I was with Rory.”

“Well, that was just a bit of fun, wasn’t it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Erin said sharply. “I’ve always wanted to make something of myself.”

Her mother appeared mystified. “And what would you make of yourself?”

“Whatever I want.” Erin tried to hold her temper back, but couldn’t. Her mother’s blatant insult cut her too badly to just sit there and take it. “Why is it that anything that doesn’t fit in with your view of the world is ‘daft’? I remember you saying Aislinn was mad because she took over her parents’ sheep farm. You know what your problem is? You never encouraged us to reach. Me and Brian. You never encouraged us to dream, because you think that if you dream, you might get hurt. Sometimes that’s true. I got hurt by Rory. But I learned from that: it’s better to dream and get your bloody face kicked in than to play it safe and live in a very tiny world, never taking any risks.”

“I see.” Her mother’s expression was cold as she stood. “Well, that certainly was an earful. Anything else while your tongue is in prime working order?”

“No. That’s it.”

“Sleep tight, then.”

“You, too, Mam.”

Erin remained at the table, listening to her mother’s light footfall as she went back upstairs. Jesus wept. The woman could be maddening, not to mention downright bloody mean. Erin couldn’t help but wonder if there was a bit of jealousy mixed in with her mother’s put-downs. Maybe she’d wanted to cut loose once upon a time, but couldn’t. She got up and turned off the kitchen light, suddenly yearning for sleep. A midnight discussion in the O’Brien house: this would count as an exciting night in Ballycraig, she supposed.

Sandra laughed so hard when Erin told her the story that tears were running down her face. Erin was laughing hard as well: once one of them started, the other always followed. San’s booming laugh was one of Erin’s favorite sounds in the world. All Erin had to do was hear it, and if she were in a bad mood, her negativity would vanish instantly.

“Oh, Christ,” Sandra wheezed. “I’ve got to stop or I’m going to wet me knickers. Online dating? You?”

“I know. And even if I was, what would the big deal be?”

“Erin, your mother doesn’t understand the Internet. That’s part of the problem.”

“You’re right.”

Sandra swallowed a deep breath, wiping away the tears sliding down her cheeks with the palms of her hands. “This one’s going in the books. Especially the bit about her wanting to give the old thumbs-up or -down.” She giggled. “They’re like Holmes and Watson, your folks. Maybe they can solve the mystery of who stole the tea biscuits from Finnegan’s Market.”

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m just saying.”

Erin had “the day off,” and as was usually the case, she spent part of it with Sandra. Sometimes she wondered if it was unhealthy that Sandra was her only female friend. It wasn’t like they’d separated themselves from the other girls at school: they’d both drifted in and out of various cliques. But at the end of the day, no one measured up to Sandra in Erin’s eyes, and vice versa. They’d probably wind up living together when they were old, two mad cows subsisting on crisps and tea in some dodgy caravan park somewhere.

Sandra leaned against the wall of the launderette, lighting a cigarette. “Don’t tell me I’m ruining my health, because I know it.” She took a drag and blew it out with force. “So your mam’s still pushing for Jake?”

“Yeah,” Erin said glumly. “Said I need to take a look at him with new eyes and all that.”

Sandra took another puff, looking thoughtful as she blew a stream of smoke out the side of her mouth. “Mightn’t be a bad idea.”

“What? You’re the one who said you couldn’t picture him in bed!”

“I know. I do feel a bit guilty saying that, since he’s a friend and all. But I was having a good think on it the other day.”

“That’s a terrifying combo, San, you and thinking.”

“Shirrup. Here’s the thing: There’s something to be said for a fella who worships the ground you walk on, you know. A fella who’s dependable and romantic and all that.” Her eyes tracked a handsome, sturdy man down the street.

“Did Jake talk you into saying this to me?”

Sandra looked affronted. “Of course he didn’t.”

Erin remained skeptical. “Are you lying to me?”

Sandra’s mouth formed a shocked
O
. “Of course I’m not lying.”

“Then what accounts for the abrupt about-face?”

“I was thinkin’ about me and Larry,” she said in a melancholy voice. “What a right bastard he is. How my life
might have been different if I’d kept me legs closed in school and held out for someone like Jake.” She smiled sadly. “We could have double dated. You ’n’ Rory and me ’n’ Jake. It would have been brilliant.”

“You could still marry a fella like Jake, easy. All you’d have to do is divorce the lummox.”

“Thinkin’ about it,” Sandra muttered tetchily.

“What?”
Erin said, trying to restrain herself from jumping up and down with glee.

Sandra’s hackles went up. “Don’t get yourself all worked up. It might not even happen. It’s just…like you said, I’ve got to start thinking about the big picture. The kids.”

“And?” Erin prodded.

“I went to the One Family place in Crosshaven, right? The one that gives free legal advice to women?”

“And?”

“They have free courses that train you up to get back in the workforce.” Sandra tossed her cigarette to the ground, snuffing it out with the bottom of her well-scuffed sandal. “Not that I’ve ever really been in the workforce.”

“Taking care of four children and Larry qualifies as work if you ask me.”

Sandra smiled weakly. “Anyway, it seems it might be something worth thinking about. They have day care, too. I could bring Gina with me on the bus. Larry Jr.’ll be in football camp all day, and Oona’s old enough to fend for herself, or I can talk with Becca Lafferty up the road about her spending time there, since Oona and her Britney are thick as thieves. I’d be home in time for tea.”

“What about Lucy? She could help out a bit.”

“Right. Twelve years old and climbin’ out her window at night. I’m at my wits’ end with that one. Truly.”

“When do courses start?”

“Ongoing.”

Erin paused. She didn’t know if what she was about to say was madness, genius, or both. “I can help out a bit, you know.”

“What the hell are you on about?”

“There’s no reason I can’t do a bit of your grocery shopping if you’re so sure Lucy will be useless.”

“She’d pocket the money, that one.” Sandra shook her head emphatically. “There’s no way I’d let you help out, Little Miss Goody-goody. You’ve got your own course to concentrate on.”

“True,” said Erin, plucking thoughtfully at her lower lip as she tried to think of other ways to help Sandra. She was finally taking the first step to get free of Larry, and Erin wanted to help facilitate that in any way she could.

“There’s got to be something I can do.”

“I know how you can help,” Sandra said, shielding her eyes from the sun.

“How?”

“I need to put down an emergency contact in case Larry Jr. gets sick or hurt at football camp. I’m not putting his father down, that’s for shit sure. Can I put you down?”

“Of course.”

Sandra looked relieved. “That’s a load off my mind.”

“I just hope I don’t run into Rory.”

“You can handle it. Give him a good kick in the ball sack and be on your way.”

“Shoulda done that when I saw him the other day.”

Sandra shook Erin’s arm. “You waited until
now
to tell me?”

“There’s nothing to tell. He was taking the PJ tour and I was coming back from the shops in Moneygall, and didn’t Mr. Eagle Eye spot me across the road and come running over.”

Sandra was breathless with excitement. “What happened?”

“I told him to leave me alone.”

“How did he react?”

“He backed off, miraculously.”

“Ha! For now. He was just testin’ the waters.”

“Well, the water’s freezing, I can tell ya.”

Sandra gave a small grimace. “I hate to tell you, Er, but telling him to leave you alone is kind of lame-o, you know?”

“Why?” Erin asked crossly. “What should I have said?”

“I think ‘go screw yourself till it falls off’ would have been more effective, but that’s just me.”

“That’s more your style than mine.”

“How’s he looking?”

“The same, I guess. I didn’t really look.”
You didn’t really have to. “The same” meant handsome as hell.

“He was always a looker,” Sandra said with a sigh.

“Then you go look at him,” Erin retorted.

Sandra looked surprised. “Don’t have a nervo.”

“I’m not!”

“Then why’d you go all sharp on me? Like it irked you I found him attractive!”

“It just bothers me that you can find anything good about him.”

Sandra looked skeptical. “If you say so.” She pushed off the wall. “Best go back and see if that old crow Edith Cruise is done hogging the dryers. It’s just her and that dozy husband of hers. I don’t see why she needs three dryers. I’ve half a mind to pull her stuff out of one of ’em.”

“The last time you did that to someone, they tossed some bleach in one of your loads, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. If I ever won the lottery, the first thing I would do is buy a washer and dryer. The second thing I would do is go for liposuction.”

“You don’t need it, but I know that’s going in one ear and out the other.” Erin hugged Sandra. “I’ll give you a ring tomorrow, all right? Maybe I could come over, bring some pizza for us and the kids.”

“You should be out and about, Erin. Not hanging with your married friend and her brood.”

“There’s no one to go out and about with.”

“I bet Ja—”

“Shut it.”

“Don’t be tryin’ to find Mr. Right online now,” Sandra shouted as Erin started down the street. Erin grinned, looking back over her shoulder at Sandra. Sometimes they
still acted as if they were twelve. And as far as Erin was concerned, there would always be comfort in that.

*   *   *

It was only a week later that Erin got a call from the football camp, telling her that Larry Jr. was “puking up a gale” and asking if she could please come get him. Sandra had started going for workshops and classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays to start out. They both knew that if Sandra leapt into the deep end and went five days a week, she’d be overwhelmed and quit. Going two days also allowed her to be home with the kids the majority of the week, arousing no suspicion in Larry. Erin was the only one who knew what she was doing, Sandra having decided not to tell any of her kids for now. Lucy and Oona thought their mam was at some playgroup with baby Gina. Sandra especially didn’t want Lucy to know, because if she did, she wouldn’t think twice about telling Larry in payback for some slight Sandra might have committed against her, real or imagined. Erin was pretty sure she and Sandra weren’t as stroppy at that age as Lucy was.