Braydon (38 page)

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Jessie yelled.

“Why the fuck are you doing this, Jess?” he asked, his throat threatening to close up on him. She was leaving? Seriously?

How the hell did this shit keep happening? If it wasn’t Brendon freaking out, it was Jessie. Braydon felt like he was on a fucking roller coaster that was on an endless loop, and the longer he stayed on the ride, the worse he felt.

“It’s clear you don’t need me anymore,” she ground out.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Braydon stared at her blankly, trying to figure out just what she was talking about. He’d known she had come over to his house; he’d seen her standing in the doorway, her face pale, her pretty blue eyes wide. But Braydon had been too busy to even greet her. His brother had passed out and all of a sudden she thought he didn’t need her anymore. Shit. He was pretty damn sure he needed her now more than ever.

He was that fucking scared.

“Jessie, please,” he begged, lowering his voice. “Talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say to you!” she screamed, turning to face him, the shirt she was holding fanning out around her. “You and Brendon have more women than you know what to do with. I have no intention of being second choice.”

“Second choice?” Braydon asked stupidly. “Help me understand this, Jess,” he asked, his anger replacing his confusion. He paused momentarily. “No. Scratch that. I don’t even know where to begin. Explain it to me.”

“You heard me,” Jessie snapped.

“I heard something about more women than I know what to do with. I’m not quite sure how the hell that fits in. My brother passes out and all of a sudden I’ve got more women than I know what to do with? How does that work exactly?”

“Brendon passed out?” Jessie asked, clearly concerned. Not to mention surprised.

“Yeah. He did. You were right there, did you not see him?”

Jessie’s eyes dropped to the floor and she fidgeted with the shirt in her hand. “The couch was in the way. I just assumed that . . .”

“You assumed what?” Braydon snarled.

“That you and Brendon were with Cheyenne. God. It’s not that hard to believe.”

Braydon laughed. He couldn’t help himself. It
was
that hard to believe, actually. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Why’d you leave him?” Jessie asked disbelievingly, completely ignoring his last question.

“I had to check on you. He’s awake and coherent. Cheyenne and my mother are with him now.”

“Holy shit, Braydon. Don’t you see what’s happening here?”

“No, no I really don’t,” he muttered truthfully.

“I’m a distraction you don’t need.”

“Wait, now you’re a distraction? Shit.” Lord help him.

Braydon grabbed the back of his neck with both hands and turned away from her. He absolutely did not fucking understand women. He was beginning to think that his brother Ethan was onto something.

“You need to be with Brendon.”

“And you need to stop packing,” he yelled, turning once again to face her. “Is this how it’s gonna work, Jessie? Do I always have to fucking worry that you’re gonna run away?”

“I’m not the one who ran away,” Jessie stated slowly, angrily.

“You’re doing it now.” He motioned to her suitcase.

“I saw Cheyenne and you. Y’all were all three on the couch.”

“And what exactly did you think we were doing?” Braydon growled, knowing what her answer was going to be. She didn’t trust him. It was as simple—and painful—as that.

“
Exactly
what it looked like.”

“Trying to figure out why the hell my brother turned a frightening shade of white right before he passed out? Yeah, I’m not sure we’re on the same fucking page.”

“You can’t blame me for making an assumption. I
know
how the two of you work!”

“Do you?” he barked back. “Do you fucking know how it really is, Jessie? Or do you just expect the worst from me?”

Jessie didn’t bother to answer, and she didn’t stop packing. That pissed him off, but Braydon didn’t move an inch. He continued to stare at her.

“Fine,” she finally said. “I jumped to conclusions.”

“That’s an understatement,” he mumbled.

“Fuck you,” she shot back.

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” he told her. “I don’t know how to prove myself to you, Jessie. I don’t know how to make you believe that I care about you. You’re the only woman I want. And yes, Brendon is gonna be with other women. Is that what’s bothering you? That he might actually have an interest in this woman? A woman who is not you?”

“Oh my God!” Jessie yelled, exasperation resounding through the room.

Okay, so maybe he was trying to push her buttons.

They stared at one another for a long minute. Braydon had nothing else to say. He wasn’t sure there was any getting through to her, even if he was equipped with all the words to express just how much he loved her. She was trying to make excuses, and he didn’t know if it was because she was scared or just because. Hell, he didn’t think he had the mental capacity to figure it out, either.

Just when he thought he was going to have to give up, she spoke.

“Have you talked to Brendon?”

Braydon’s brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what freaking conversational highway she’d taken a sudden detour on.

“I’ve talked to him plenty,” he answered, hoping that would bring forth a little clarity.

“Have you talked to him about why he did what he did?” she asked, the glare she shot at him letting him know she didn’t appreciate his vague response.

Braydon knew she was referring to Brendon’s drinking and driving. “No, I haven’t,” he said with a sigh. “In fact, I haven’t talked to him at all. Not since I left for work this morning. And even then we didn’t really talk.”

Jessie’s body tensed slightly. Braydon was tempted to take a step closer, wanting to pull her into his arms and make all of this go away. He would be the first to say that the amount of emotional bullshit he’d been through over the last six months was more than he’d experienced in his entire life.

And he wasn’t a big fan, thank you very much.

“What’s gotten into him?” Jessie finally asked, looking up at him.

That was a question only Brendon could answer, but Braydon did his best to offer as much enlightenment as he could. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen him this way, but I think it all started back when he met Cheyenne.”

It was a truth Jessie probably didn’t want to hear, but he put it out there anyway.

“When did he meet her?”

“Before you.”

“Oh.”

Yeah. Oh. Clearly that upset Jessie, but Braydon refused to sugarcoat it. There were so many things that the three of them should’ve talked about long before things got this out of hand, and this was only a small portion. It wasn’t quite the conversation he’d wanted to have tonight, but it was already out there, lingering in the air between them.

“Are you planning to talk to him?” she asked softly.

“About?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Braydon,” she said hysterically. “The alcohol. Drinking and driving.
Us.
”

“Is there an
us
, Jess?” he asked seriously, jumping right to the most critical subject at the moment. She was packing, which meant with her gone, there certainly wasn’t going to be an “us.”

After last night, he wanted to believe there was. But after her little stunt tonight, he wasn’t sure that he was going to like her answer. Last night, and that morning, had been the most incredible experience of his entire life, but that didn’t mean it was going to last. Part of him was surprised she hadn’t kicked him out of her bed at dawn.

“Never mind, I shouldn’t have asked,” she blurted as she tried to sidestep him on her way out of the room.

Braydon stepped in front of her and reached for her hands. He held them firmly but not roughly, not allowing her to pull away. He felt her eyes on him and he decided to go all out.

“Jess, I don’t know what this is between us. I know it’s more than just sex. At least for me. I want to be with you every waking moment. Hell, I want to spend every single night with you in my bed. I don’t know how to make any promises though. Not today, not tomorrow. And yes, I have talked to Brendon. Not much, but we did have a conversation. He knows how I feel about you. He’s always known. But I’m not sure what you want me to say to him. I don’t intend to hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” she interrupted.

“I know you wouldn’t. That’s not what I was saying.”

“What are you saying then?”

“Why do we always have to do this? It’s like we take two steps forward and one giant step back every time we see each other. It’s become a pattern, and heaven help me, Jessie, I don’t know what you want from me.”

Again Jessie tried to pull away from him, and this time Braydon let her go. She seemed a little surprised by that.

“I’m not gonna coddle you, Jess. I want you, there is no doubt about that.” He wanted to go so far as to tell her that he loved her, but for whatever reason, it didn’t seem like the right time. He didn’t want his next attempt to convince her to be during the heat of an argument. And he damn sure didn’t want her to think he just said the words so she wouldn’t run away. “But you can’t keep second-guessing everything. It won’t work if you do.”

The conversation died on that statement as Jessie stared back at him. He couldn’t help but wonder whether the two of them had sealed their fate long before they’d ever even given themselves a chance.

JESSIE WANTED TO
curse a blue streak.

For a night that should’ve ended better than the day had been, she’d gone and started a fight with Braydon that was doomed from the start. She knew it even before she started talking, yet she did it anyway.

And now Braydon was pacing back and forth across her bedroom. He looked angry. No, maybe not angry. He looked upset.

Not that she could blame him. She had well and truly screwed up tonight. Because of all her stupid insecurities, she had gone and made a serious assumption that, yes, made her look like an ass.

The moment she’d seen Cheyenne, Brendon, and Braydon on that couch, she’d fought the urge to throw up. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been able to see them completely; her mind had conjured up the image of what she’d anticipated all along. Even as she had walked back to her house, she had been fighting through the tears, trying to rationalize what she thought she saw.

And of course, Braydon’s response had made perfect sense. Only now she was worried about Brendon, but not for the reasons Braydon obviously thought. She didn’t care about him that way. And she sure didn’t give a damn if he hooked up with Cheyenne Montgomery. In fact, she hoped he did. Maybe that would change this path of destruction that he seemed to be on these days.

But, God, she felt as though she were on emotional overload.

She wasn’t equipped to deal with these types of emotions. It was the reason all her relationships failed in the past. Instead of taking things one day at a time, just the way Braydon had requested, she was the type of woman who wanted to dig into a man’s psyche and figure out what made him tick.

She knew Braydon well enough that she shouldn’t have needed to hear his explanation. She should’ve trusted him. He had never given her a reason not to. But from the moment he’d stepped through her door, she had riddled him with excuses, trying to push him away. Then, to top it all off, she had tried to get him to tell her that he loved her again. She needed to hear it, needed some sort of reassurance because nothing was working out the way she had hoped.

As Braydon continued to make a rut in her carpet, Jessie didn’t move. She wasn’t even sure what to do. Braydon didn’t seem to be paying her any attention, and she held her breath. This was the part that she always expected. The moment when he figured out that she was too high-maintenance in the emotional department. When he realized that her insecurities were such an overwhelming part of her that he decided he couldn’t deal with it. She knew what was coming. This was the part when he either let her down easy or called her a crazy bitch and went about his merry way.

“Jess?”

She was surprised by the sound of his voice, and her eyes tracked him as he made another pass across the room. Rather than respond, she just looked at him.

“I’m not like most guys you’ve dated.”

That statement had anger ripping through her insides.

Mostly because she knew he was right. He wasn’t like the guys she’d dated. He was different in so many ways, yet she was still insecure enough that she would do anything to screw it up.

“I’m not getting into this with you,” she snapped. Okay, even she knew she sounded irrational, but she didn’t want him to get all high and mighty and point out all her flaws. She was quite aware of them all, so any schooling was unnecessary. “Thanks but no thanks,” she said bitterly.

“Jess.” Braydon moved closer, his voice soft, almost reassuring. Jessie didn’t move. She couldn’t. “You’re gonna have to trust me if this is gonna work.”

Trust.

Right.

What the hell did she know about trust?

Instead of saying anything, Jessie turned and fled to her bedroom. She heard Braydon’s boots on the hardwood in the living room as she opened the front door. Her heart lurched when Braydon continued to move past her, not even attempting to try to talk to her anymore.