Bracing the Blue Line (18 page)

“WHAT ARE YOU doing for Thanksgiving this year, boys?” Mrs. Lanier asks as we wrap up another Sunday dinner.

“Please come eat with us, Neil. Please, please, please,” Alice begs. “Bo can come too, right, Mom?”

Mrs. Lanier laughs. “Of course.”

“I'm going to see my parents, actually. Thanks for the invite, though,” Bo tells Alice.

“Neil?
Please
,” Alice tries one more time. “You could invite Audra! When is the baby coming anyway? When can I meet her and the baby? Have you picked a name yet?”

“Calm down,” I laugh. “One question at a time. The baby will be here in February and we don't have a name yet. I don't know about Thanksgiving, Alice.”

She frowns. “You'll be here for my birthday, won't you?”

“Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world,” I tell her.

She smiles, hugs me, and then looks to her mom. “Can I go play now?”

“Sure, sweetie.”

Once she's out of the room, Mr. Lanier asks if I've told my parents yet. I sigh. “Yeah, I told them this weekend. I don't think they are exactly thrilled, and they want a paternity test. She said she would understand if I wanted one, but...” I trail off, not finishing my sentence. I'm a bit nervous about bringing it up to Audra, despite what she said.

“I'm sure it'll be fine,” Mrs. Lanier reassures me.

I repeat her words in my head as I play with Alice as promised, as I take Bo back to the house, and as I drive to Audra's. Those words become my mantra until I knock twice on her door.

“Come in,” I hear Audra yell from the other side of the door. When I walk inside, her mother is in the kitchen cooking, and she's laying on the couch with her feet propped up.

“Feet bothering you?” I question, lifting them so I can sit down, placing them in my lap.

“Yeah. Ma decided to fix dinner for me. How'd your weekend go? You know, when you weren't calling me?”

I smile, beginning to rub her feet. “It was great, but I'm tired. Does this feel good?” I question, referring to the work my hands are doing.

“I think I love you,” she moans, causing me to laugh.

“That has to be the hormones talking,” I say as I continue to massage her feet.

Her eyes are closed from the pleasure and she doesn't miss a beat when she hums her agreement. “You're probably right because I've been really horny lately too. But I'll definitely accept the foot massage.”

My hands stop moving at her words, and I stare at her. Audra has completely thrown me. I can't believe she would say something like that, especially since she's caught the attention of her mother as well. Her eyes pop open, her head lifts, and she raises an eyebrow.

“Finding it hard to chide a pregnant woman, aren't you?” she asks us, glancing back and forth. “God, I love being pregnant. People won't say anything to some of the stuff that comes out of my mouth. It's like I'm an old lady and they don't think they can say anything because I might burst into tears, which is totally plausible, by the way.”

“Yeah, well, don't plan on getting knocked up again at any point in the next five years, Audra,” her mother orders.

“No worries, Ma. Keep rubbing, Neil.”

Chuckling, I follow orders. Her mother finishes cooking, bringing a plate to Audra minutes later.

“I have to go, Audra.” She leans down to kiss her forehead. “Call if you need me.”

“Thanks, Ma. Really, thanks.”

“You're welcome. Maybe next time, we can get to know each other better, Neil.”

“That sounds great, Mrs. Garcia,” I reply.

She and Audra exchange goodbyes before she leaves. Audra pulls her feet from my lap to sit up, so she can eat. It looks like some sort of creamy soup.

“Feel free to fix yourself a bowl, Neil,” she offers.

I decline, having just eaten. Maybe this will be a good time to bring up the test. For a moment, I watch her purse her lips to cool down her spoonful of soup. Part of me is extremely relieved because Audra isn't too bad to be around. She's been easy to get along with and hanging out with her has almost been enjoyable. Shaking my head and clearing my throat, I decide to get it over with.

“I saw my parents over the weekend.”

“Really? Did you tell them about the baby?”

“Yeah. They are insisting on a paternity test.” I watch her carefully for any ounce of a bad reaction. She shouldn't give me one, but who knows.

Audra nods in agreement. “Okay, cool. At least if we do it now and you know, then you can't ever bring it up when we get into an argument or use it as an excuse to leave me high and dry with a baby.”

And there goes how good I felt about things. Not like I can blame her for saying shit like that. On the other hand, just because I'm a guy who has fucked around a lot, doesn't mean I'm a terrible person with no morals.

Or maybe it does.

What the fuck do I know?

I clench my jaw to refrain from saying something I'll regret because it'll probably make her cry. That's the last thing I want to do. But my mind won't stop thinking. The girls all know that there's nothing between me and them and that my intentions are only to have sex. Nothing more, nothing less. That has to count for something, right? That I'm honest and upfront? Or does none of that matter because I'm still a shitty guy who will sleep with pretty much any girl? Not that I've had the time to get laid lately...

Maybe it's not even about that. Maybe it's because I told her to give the baby up for adoption that day. Audra may have that locked in her mind, and she's really worried that I'll leave her “high and dry” at the first opportunity. Either way, I'm pissed. If I was going to do that, I would have already.

“Sorry, Neil. That was wrong of me to say, wasn't it?” Audra looks genuinely remorseful, but I don't give two shits. I'm not here to impress her. I'm here because I need to know my kid's mom so we'll be able to raise her together.

“It doesn't matter. How about we keep our talk limited to things concerning the baby and not what kind of people we are?”

“Yeah, okay,” she mutters.

We're silent as she finishes her bowl. She sets it on the table and leans back, getting comfortable. I don't think I can open my mouth yet, so I keep quiet. Audra seems to know this because she stays quiet too. When I finally feel ready, I turn to look and find Audra asleep.

Ugh, great.

Audra's killing me! She needs to stop falling asleep on me. Her hand moves to her belly, and I wonder if the baby is moving. Gingerly, I place my hand near hers and feel a kick. Moving a little closer, I lean down to whisper.

“Hey, baby girl.” I glance at Audra, but she hasn't stirred. “How are you doing? Moving around a lot these days, huh? Your momma might want you to nap too.” There's more movement under my hand, and I'm amazed. Part of me feels crazy for talking to her belly, but I can't seem to stop either. “In case you didn't know, I'm your daddy,” I continue, talking softly. “Don't listen to all this nonsense your momma is saying either. I wouldn't leave her or you, baby girl. She doesn't know yet that I'm a decent guy. Don't worry. I'll prove it.”

With a lot of care not to disturb Audra, I kiss her stomach before leaning back into my seat. I actually feel a little better. Maybe I am going crazy. About thirty minutes pass and she still hasn't woken up. I grab the notepad and pen on the end table and write a note that I left. Quietly, I go to the door, turn the knob, and I'm so close to stepping through the threshold when I hear Audra's voice.

“Neil?”

Turning, I face her, closing the door almost all the way. She's sitting up, watching me. “You were sleeping, so I was going to head home before I have to go into work.”

“Oh, sorry about falling asleep on you.”

“It's fine. Later.” I turn once again, but she stops me.

“Neil?”

“Yeah?” I look at her to see that she's standing now and moving towards me, but she stops about halfway.

“I just wanted to apologize again about what I said.”

I give her a little smile. “It's okay, Audra. Promise. I should go, though.”

“Right. Bye.”

One final time, I turn to leave, opening the door all the way. On the other side stands some chick, who smiles when she sees me.

“Well, hello hottie. Would you like-”

“Don't even!” Audra almost shouts, rushing to stand in front of me, holding her arm out behind her like she wants me to stay back. “He's off limits, Mimi, so don't even say it.”

The girl, Mimi, looks me over again. “He's too hot to be off limits, Audra. Who is he anyway?”

“Neil,” I offer. Mimi's eyes widen, and she's connected the dots of how I know Audra. I put my hands on Audra's shoulders and twirl her to face me. “I'll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything.” She nods. I kiss her temple before stepping around the girls to leave finally, not exactly knowing what to think about this Mimi, Audra's reaction to whatever she was going to say, and the kiss I gave her.

MY EYES ARE trying their hardest to shut as I buckle up. I've just finished working for the night and it's tempting to sleep in my car instead of driving home. The loud ringing of my phone snaps me out of it for now. When I pull it out of my pocket and see Audra's name, panic sweeps through me. What has happened? Why is she calling me so late?

Gulping, I answer, “Audra? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything's fine. I haven't been able to sleep and I'd really hate to bother my parents, so-”

“So you called to bother me?” I chuckle.

Audra laughs softly. “Pretty much. Could you come over? Are you still at work?”

“Just got off, but I can come over if you want me to.” Not sure how that will help, but okay.

“Thanks, Neil.” She pauses, hesitating before adding, “Would it be too much trouble to stop by the store?”

“No,” I answer, cranking my car. Looks like I won't be getting home any time soon. “What do you want?”

“Pretzels.”

“Pretzels?” I question as I back out and start heading towards the nearest 24-hour grocery store.

“And cheese sticks. And maybe some chocolate pudding too.”

Shaking my head at her, I laugh. “Pretzels, cheese sticks, and chocolate pudding? Anything else?”

“No, I think that's it. Are you sure you don't mind?”

“Not at all. Almost to the store now, so I should be there in twenty or thirty minutes. Text me if you think of anything else, though I can't promise you'll get it. I won't go back to the store after I've left.”

“Okay. Thanks, Neil.”

“Welcome.” I hang up, having the urge to bang my head against my steering wheel. I need sleep. Not to run around, buying things to satisfy Audra's wacky cravings. With a deep breath, I push the negative thoughts away. Those aren't going to do me any good anyway. As fast as I can, I grab what Audra wants, ignore the curious look from the cashier, and go to her place.

It takes her a moment to answer, almost giving me enough time to rest my head on the doorframe. Even a few seconds of sleep would be good. Audra looks relieved when she opens the door and sees me. I hand her the bag as I'm invited in. She rubs her lower back on her way to the kitchen. I go sit on the couch, and she appears moments later with a spoon.

“Sit here,” I tell her, patting my thighs twice.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“I might break your legs.” She looks really serious, and I laugh.

“You aren't that big. Sit.”

Audra does, placing the bag on the coffee table in front of her, and she leans forward to pull out her item of choice. She goes for the pudding first.

“Do you trust me?” I ask. She shrugs. I rest my fingers on her shoulder and begin to massage. A low moan escapes her lips, causing me to smile. She doesn't say anything as I work my thumbs down her back along her spine. When I get to her lower back, the moan is louder. I swallow hard when I realize the sounds she's making are turning me on.

“God, I forgot how good you were with your hands. First my feet and now this, mmm,” she finishes in an appreciative hum.

“Be quiet and eat your food,” I mutter.

I keep massaging while she moves on to the pretzels and a cheese stick. My yawning is getting out of control, but Audra hasn't noticed yet. My hands slow as all my energy starts to leave me. I've been up for almost twenty-four hours. Sleep, that's what I need. My eyes droop close, but they peer open when Audra looks over her shoulder at me.