Boxed Set: The Billionaire’s Desire Complete Collection (Books 1-3 and Bonus Books 1 and 2) (Submitting to the Billionaire) (24 page)

The next day, thankfully, was a light work day for me because it was nearly impossible to think about work.  I called Lorraine and arranged to have her find some dresses for me.  Carol knew that something was wrong but she did not want to pry so she just asked me periodically if I needed anything. I told her that I was fine and that I would probably be leaving early to prepare for the event in the Hamptons the next day.  I was sitting at my desk when I realized that I had not talked with Lauren in a while, and I wanted to stop by and see her and the baby and get her perspective on what was going on with me and Joshua.  I called her to let her know that I would be stopping by and I left work for the day around 2:00 and headed over to her place.

“Sarah, you look terrible! What is going on?”

“Hello to you too, missy.”  I managed to give her a half smile but I know that it did not reach my eyes.  She was holding the baby and I gave Emily a kiss on the cheek and she cooed at me in the cutest way.  “She is so beautiful Lauren and she is getting so big!”

"I know, Jake and I can't believe how fast she is growing!  It's just about time for her nap so come with me to her room while I put her down, okay?”

After she put Emily down for a nap, Lauren and I went to the living room to sit on the couch and have a cup of coffee and talk.

She reached out and grabbed my hand and turned her concerned eyes to me.  “So, tell me what is going on Sarah, because I can tell that something is wrong.”

I don't know if it was the gentleness of her voice or the fact that I had been an emotional wreck for the past couple of days but, once again, the tears began to flow.

“Oh honey! What’s wrong?”

I told her everything about how I walked in on Joshua and Natalia together, how we had a huge fight about it, and how that he now was thinking about moving out after the event in the Hamptons.

"I don't know what to do Lauren! I don't want to lose my husband, I don't want to lose my family, and everything is such a huge mess!”

“Okay, first of all take a deep breath. Now look at me. I don’t believe for one second that Joshua was doing anything inappropriate with that woman.  Sarah, I knew Joshua back when I was in college and he was just starting out with the company, and he was nothing like the person that he is today.  I told you all of this before but I think it’s important that you hear it again, you are the reason that he is such a wonderful person today.  Joshua was so cold and unfeeling when I first met him and I didn’t think that he would ever find a woman who would want to put up with that, but then you came along and he softened right in front of my eyes.  I would not have believed that it was even possible if I have not seen it for myself.  You have made such a difference in this man’s life and I know that he would never do anything to jeopardize what you guys have.”

“How do I fix this? Tell me what I need to do.”

"I think you should go to the event this weekend, put on a happy face, and just be your wonderful self.  When you guys are alone that will be the time when you should really talk to him, apologize to him, and let him know that
you
know that he would never cheat on you.  Then go to the bedroom and remind him of the woman that he married.”

“Lauren!”  I had to smile at her last comment.  I wasn’t shy about sex but I didn’t discuss our sex life with anyone.

"Sometimes when men are being the way they can be, they need to be reminded of certain things.  Make sure you remind him, that's all I’m saying.  Right now Joshua is angry so you just need to let him have that for one more day and then show him the kind of woman, wife and mother he married.  He’ll come around, trust me.  He doesn’t want to lose you.”

We chatted for a little while longer about the baby, my girls, adjusting to motherhood, and when Lauren was going back to work.  She told me that she didn’t think she would be able to leave the baby so she probably was going to stay home until she was in school.  I did the exact same thing.  I couldn’t leave my girls and I was lucky enough to be in a situation where I could stay home with them until they went to school.  I left her around 5:00 and thanked her for listening and for the advice.

Joshua and I had dinner with the girls and acted like everything was perfectly fine between us so they had no idea there was any tension.  After we put them to bed, Joshua followed me up to our room where a rack of dresses was waiting for me. He didn’t say a word; he just sat in the chair and waited for me to start trying on dresses for him.

He shot down every dress I tried on and when I got to the final dress, which was a beautiful sky blue, I saw the change in his eyes and I knew that was the one.

“That’s it, that’s the one. You’ll wear that one this weekend.”  He hesitated and then looked at me as I stood there in the dress.  “You look beautiful.”  Then he got up and walked out of the room, once again, with not so much as a good night.

Even though he left without saying good night, I smiled to myself because with the comment that I looked beautiful, I felt that he was warming up to me.

The following morning we said goodbye to the girls and told them that we would call them later that evening to say goodnight. 

“Have fun at your fancy party mommy.  I bet you’ll look pretty in your dress.  Daddy, make sure you tell mommy that she looks pretty.”  Claire was the more vocal of the two and I gave her a big hug and told her I would tell her and her sister all about the fancy party when I got home.  I gave Abby a kiss and told them both that I loved them.

Joshua assured Claire that he would tell me that I looked beautiful.

“I tell mommy all the time that she looks pretty honey.  Don’t worry, I’ll tell her tonight too.”  He gave me a smile in front of the girls but it did not reach his eyes.  He gave them kisses and then we left.  The car was waiting for us outside and I was worried about the long drive to the Hamptons, alone with Joshua, since he was barely speaking to me.  Right before I got into the car I resigned myself to the fact that we would probably be riding in silence.  As I got in the car, Jake’s smiling face was grinning at me and I felt so much relief.

“Hey what are you doing in here? Aren’t you supposed to be at home with your wife and baby?”

“I couldn’t miss this event so I promised Lauren I would be home tomorrow.”

“Oh, you’re going to miss the second day of schmoozing.”  I gave him a teasing smile because I knew that he hated going to things like this, but both he and Joshua attended because they had to.

“Yes, and I am so torn up about that, I don’t know how I will ever get over it!”  Jake made a silly face which made me giggle and I was so happy that he was along for the ride.

“Are you staying with us in our house?”

“No, I am going to stay at our house and Ethan is going to stay with me.”

I raised my eyebrows but did not say anything when he mentioned Ethan's name, and he must have noticed that I did that because he explained to me why he was spending time with Ethan.

"I know, Sarah, I know that you do not approve of him especially after everything that we went through.  But he and I have worked things out and we are okay, really we are.  So it will be fine, don’t worry.”

I spoke to Ethan at work only when I absolutely had to, and I made it a point to avoid him at all of our family functions.  Jake may have forgiven him for lying about the whole Vivienne thing all those years ago, but I had not forgotten and I was not yet ready to forgive.

Joshua sat quietly going over reports and brushing up on different companies that would be represented that weekend.

“You’re awfully quiet big brother, is something wrong?”  Jake glanced over at Joshua with a hint of concern in his eyes.

Joshua shot me a withering look before turning his attention toward Jake. “No, nothing is wrong, I'm just going over all of this material so that I can be prepared for all the people that I'm going to encounter this weekend.”

The conversation then turned to work as we all discussed strategy on how to best spend our time this weekend and who we should focus on networking with.  Joshua wanted us to try to sign new clients that weekend so we spent most of the car ride talking about that.

We dropped Jake off at his house and then came back to our house to drop off our things and changed for cocktail hour.  When we arrived at our house I was reminded of how much I loved it.  I started to tell Joshua that we should spend more time in the Hamptons but I stopped myself because I remembered that he wasn’t really speaking to me. 
I’ll have to remember to mention this to him when he decides to speak to me again.

I wore comfortable slacks and a simple, but dressy blouse and a pair of heels for the first part of the event.  The more formal party was scheduled to begin at 9:00 pm. and that’s when I planned to wear the dress that Joshua selected for me.

I was just putting the finishing touches on my makeup when Joshua came into my dressing area and asked me if I was ready to go.

"Remember to just be yourself Sarah, and I don't want anyone to have any idea that you and I have tension between us.  We are clear on that, correct?”  His eyes were stern and cold as he looked at me and I was really starting to get tired of being on the receiving end of those looks.

“Yes, we are clear.”  I could not hide the exasperation my voice and Joshua shot me an annoyed look.

“Is there a problem?”  He looked pissed as he stood there waiting for me to answer him.

I stood my ground and held his gaze as I tried to decide if I should say something, and then I did.  “I know that you are upset with me Joshua, but why do you have to constantly look at me with such hatred?  I feel as though you can’t stand to even be in my presence and it breaks my heart.”

I could have sworn that I saw him soften a bit but then he switched right back into his icy mode.  He shot me a mean glare and stared at me for a few seconds and I was becoming very uncomfortable under his stare.

“You know what you did Sarah, and I don’t have time for this right now.  We have to get going.”

He turned away from me and walked toward the front door.  I thought he was going to stop, turn around and apologize for being so harsh, or at least I hoped that he would.  But, that did not happen, Joshua kept walking right out the front door.  Instead of allowing myself to feel sad once again, I decided that after the event that night, when we were alone in the house, I would make him talk to me.  I was tired of the silent treatment and decided that tonight we were going to hash this out.

The cocktail party was much more crowded than I had anticipated but I ended up enjoying myself more than I thought I would.  Joshua introduced me to people I had not met before and we played the perfect little happily married couple and kept up appearances.  I chatted with people who represented several different countries all over the world and I actually felt like my old self again as I networked and made new invaluable contacts.  The cocktail party wrapped up around 6:00 and Joshua and I left to go home and change for the more formal dinner event.

As we rode in the car back to our house, Joshua asked me if I had made any progress during the cocktail party. 

“I did, I have a phone conference set up with Markla Corporation next week.  I spent a lot of time chatting with their senior vice president and I think our company might be what they are looking for.”  I looked at him hoping to see some glimmer of approval for my hard work but I saw nothing but flat, unfeeling eyes.  I took a deep breath and turned my attention to the setting sun outside the car window.  I missed our girls, and I really wanted to give them both a big hug right at that moment.  I remembered the day that they were born and how nervous and excited Joshua and I both were.  We were just crawling into bed when my water broke.

“Oh my goodness honey, I think my water just broke!”

Joshua flew out of bed and grabbed my suitcase and my coat and we were on our way to the hospital within five minutes.  I was in labor for 12 hours and Joshua never left my side.  He held my hand and coached me through every single one of my contractions and I could not have asked for a more perfect husband.  It was so sweet because he was so concerned about me and he wanted to make sure that I was as comfortable as possible.  When the babies finally came Joshua cried tears of joy and he kept kissing me and thanking me for his beautiful, healthy girls.  He laced his fingers through mine and stared deep into my eyes.

“You have made me the happiest man in the world today Sarah and I love you forever for it.  Now I have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

What he said was only partially true, because I knew that Joshua had always wanted a son but I had not been able to give that to him.  Don’t get me wrong, he loved the girls more than anything and they had him wrapped around their little pinkies, but I knew that he would be ecstatic if he had a son to carry on his name. 

I noticed that we were almost back at our house and I was looking forward to getting the night over with.   I had a long night of schmoozing, small talk and business talk ahead of me and all I wanted to do was be alone with Joshua. 
Only a few more hours to go until I have the chance to convince him that we still belong together
.