Bound to Break: Men of Honor, Book 6 (17 page)

Lucky snorted. It was a step up from the single room he’d been in, but it was nonetheless still a prison.

“I lived with your family for four years and you really didn’t know anything about me? Had no clue I was there?”

“They didn’t mention you,” Dash said shortly and Lucky felt like he’d been punched. “It’s not like that, Luck. They didn’t say anything because they know I’m the suspicious type. Figured I’d have a fit they invited a stranger to live in my place.”

“They didn’t know what you really do.”

“No. For their own safety. It’s why I stayed away from them. Didn’t want to bring those men around them. Had no goddamned idea the person I was searching for was there the whole time. I mean, shit like what happened to you is usually reported to the papers. The police. There’s no trail of your rescue.”

“Yeah, your family was very protective of me.”

“The most fucking ironic thing I’ve ever heard,” Dash muttered.

Lucky shifted out from under Dash’s body. “Want something to drink?”

They’d stopped at a market before coming to the apartment, where Lucky had bought some of the essentials. Correction—Dash paid for some of the essentials because Lucky had no cash.

“Sure.”

He went to the small kitchen and grabbed a couple of bottles of water. He’d be staying here for God knew how long. Spartan furnishings, but there was space—a kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom. Small balcony. And no one to come in every night to check on him.

“Hey. Everything all right?” Dash was leaning against the doorjamb, watching him.

And no, it suddenly wasn’t. Hadn’t been but he wasn’t sure why, couldn’t put words to it.

Everything felt so strange. He didn’t even know how he was supposed to get cash. Everything felt like it was closing in on him. Was this what Cooper wanted—was he waiting to see if the stress of this situation would cause him to crumble? “I need to pay you back for the groceries.”

“No, you don’t.”

He stared at Dash’s bare chest. He’d pulled on his jeans but left them unbuttoned, and Lucky, who never cared about being naked, suddenly felt vulnerable as hell. “What about next time I need food? How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Or are you my bodyguard and ATM card too?”

Dash frowned, pushed off the doorjamb and came toward him. Repeated, “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t know how to answer that. “Everything,” came out, and Dash put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled his head down to his shoulder. Lucky rested it there, trying to breathe.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, Dash. So fucking far from that,” he whispered, not wanting to look Dash in the eye. “I watched a tape of me—Josh—today. I was taking a lie detector test. Lots of them. And I was lying and passing, lying and passing. Like it was nothing. I’m a trained liar.”

“Yes.”

He picked his head up in surprise at the complete non-judgment in Dash’s tone. “You’re okay with that?”

“I’m a trained liar too, Lucky. It’s called survival. It’s necessary for the jobs we do. Doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact, it makes you better able to spot complete bullshit.”

“Which is why you’re here with me? Because you believe me?”

Dash smiled without hesitation, a soft smile that made his face look younger and more relaxed. “Yes. I believe you.”

As much as Lucky wanted to believe that—and he did, deep in his heart—he couldn’t shake the fact that Dash had admitted to being a trained liar too. Did Lucky remember enough about reading people to read this correctly?

“All you have to do is look in here.” Dash pointed to Lucky’s heart. “That’s your best judge of anything.”

“People get broken hearts all the time.”

“What’s that saying? Better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all?”

Lucky remembered sitting up for several nights in a row with Emme, when she was crying about the asshole who’d ultimately broken her heart last year. She’d sobbed so hard he swore she’d break something and he’d hated that helpless feeling of not being able to do anything for her.

When he’d told her that, she’d wiped her tears and said, “But you are doing something, Luck. You’re here.”

Four months later, she’d gone on a blind date. He remembered telling her how much he admired her for that. “But aren’t you scared it’s going to happen all over again?”

“Of course. I guess that’s part of the thrill. You liked the way the good parts made you feel, so you know it’s something you want again.”

But with no memories, he didn’t know good from bad in his past.

But he did know good in his present—that was the Bains. And Dash and even Rex, Nate and Uncle. They’d all come to his rescue, stayed by his side.

“I don’t want to let anyone down,” he said now. “Suppose we find out that it’s true, that they did break me…”

“None of that would be your fault, Lucky. The human spirit can only endure so much. And did you ever stop to think that maybe your memory went because you willed yourself not to be turned? Maybe you were strong enough to know that you didn’t want to do what those men were asking. The mind will shut down to protect you, knows what you can handle. Maybe, in this case, your mind’s smarter than all of us who are trying to break into it.”

“What’s going on here, Dash? Between you and me, what the hell’s really going on? Is it more than just sleeping together?”

“Yes.”

“But it started out as a job for you. So how many others have you slept with for the job?”

“Are you only counting the men?”

“What do you think?”

“I think a smart man would find a way to avoid this conversation.”

Lucky snorted. “So it’s a lot then.”

“Yeah, it is. You learn a lot about a person when their defenses are down. Sex is the best at that.”

“Doesn’t that mean your defenses are down too?”

“What do I really have to hide? I’m seeking information and they think the reason is because I’m interested in them. And I am.” He locked his eyes to Lucky’s. “With you, I was interested in you beyond the job. I know how lame it sounds to say we connected that first night, but I dare you to argue otherwise.”

“I’m not denying it,” Lucky told him.

“That’s why you weren’t completely pissed at me.”

“I was pissed. But I wanted to prove that I’d never hurt you or your family.”

“So we’re really doing this,” Dash said, more to himself than to Lucky.

“I guess we are. Yeah.”

Chapter Seventeen

Things were slowly returning to normal for Rex and Sawyer, although Rex realized that neither man wanted their old normal. They were both ready to stretch, and Rex knew that Sawyer had been right when he’d said they didn’t know each other well.

It was all sex and work, work and sex. It was time to dig deeper. There was no choice. So while he and Sawyer ate Chinese takeout from the cartons in the living room and Rex told him about seeing Lucky, about how Lucky had been released to an apartment but would continue with his therapy sessions, Sawyer seemed more at ease.

“I’d like you to meet him,” Rex said. “He wants to meet you.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Sawyer wound some noodles around his fork. “We’ve got tomorrow night off.”

“I was thinking we could spend some time on my boat.”

“You have a boat?” Sawyer asked stupidly.

Rex nodded. “Just got her ready for the season.”

“I go back and forth between liking not knowing everything about you and worrying that we missed some big steps,” Sawyer muttered and stood. He grabbed some of the empty containers to bring to the garbage, but Rex stopped him, saying, “Sawyer, we save each other’s lives. We know what each of us will do under the worst conditions. We’re closer than most people get in a lifetime.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what you like to do.”

“Besides you?”

“Can you be serious?”

“Fine. I fish.”

“Okay, so let’s go.”

“Do you fish?”

“For me to know and you to find out,” Sawyer said as he went into the kitchen.

“You sound like you’re two,” Rex called after him.

Sawyer knew how to fish. Or at least, Rex assumed he did, based on the way he threaded the lines, hooked the bait and tackle and rigged the lines.

“Let me guess—you did this off a yacht?” Rex asked him as he steered through the marina and headed out into the ocean just before sundown.

“No,” Sawyer corrected with a smirk, then added, “But we did travel on the yacht for a few summers.”

Rex nuzzled his neck. “You were yachting. I was cleaning fish for rich guys like you.”

Sawyer reached back and rubbed his head. “Betcha all the rich guys hit on you.”

“I did all right.”

After an hour of travel, Rex stopped in one of his favorite spots, near a cove that was secluded plus a great spot for fishing.

As for Sawyer, the water was a second home to him, and he wasn’t to be deterred from taking dives off the boat even before Rex got them to their destination. He swam along next to the boat for some of the trip, like a puppy who needed to work off his energy before he could relax.

“This is great,” Sawyer said now as he climbed back into the boat, naked and dripping wet.

“Would’ve taken you out here a lot sooner if I’d known I’d be getting a show.”

Sawyer smirked but made no move to towel off. “You have too many clothes on.”

“Agreed.”

Rex undid his cargos, but instead of taking them off, he sat with his pants open and motioned for Sawyer to come closer. “Climb on.”

Sawyer did as Rex told him as Rex popped open the lube he’d grabbed from his pocket. He reached around Sawyer and fingered him as the man groaned and pushed back against his fingers.

Darkness covered them. Coupled with the lights on the boat that wouldn’t allow anyone to see in without being pulled up right next to them, they were shielded from any prying eyes that might come by.

“I hope we don’t get arrested for this,” Rex said.

“Sex is allowed in open water.”

“Not a free show.”

No one was around, but Sawyer didn’t seem concerned at all. He pushed Rex’s hand away and grabbed Rex’s cock instead. Angled it and pushed his body down over Rex’s cock, slowly, so fucking slowly that Rex thought he’d lose his mind. But this was his show, so Rex watched Sawyer’s face until he was balls-deep inside him.

“Beautiful boy,” he murmured.

“Ah, he falls back on Dom terminology,” Sawyer said, then moaned when Rex angled his hips and drove himself in deeper.

“You seem to like it.”

“Yeah.” Sawyer put his hands on either side of the railing behind him and moved up and down. Kissed Rex. Moaned against his mouth. He lost track of time, of everything except the way Sawyer’s body moved against his.

A slow shudder of release happened for Sawyer first. He looked surprised as hell that it snuck up on him. “Fuck, Rex.”

Rex grabbed his hips and thrust up several times before his own orgasm blinded him. Sawyer grabbed him, held him tight as they both continued to shudder through the aftershocks.

When Sawyer moved back, Rex took his T-shirt off and used it to wipe the rest of Sawyer’s come off the man’s belly and chest. Sawyer grinned unrepentantly.

“Don’t fish naked,” Rex advised.

Sawyer climbed off him. “Jesus, my legs are like jelly.”

Rex stood, snaked an arm around Sawyer’s waist as Sawyer pulled his shorts on. Held him for longer than he needed to, because it felt damned good. Better than it had in a long time. Sawyer learned against him and the sound of the water lapping the boat lulled them into nearly sleeping on their feet.

Hell, they’d both had experience in that.

Finally, Rex went and set up the lines and they fished blues until close to midnight. Did the whole catch and release thing for all of them.

This was what they’d needed, time together, space from work. Time apart from the rabid need for sex that always grabbed them, because they never seemed to have enough time together.

“Who taught you to fish?” Rex asked.

“My dad. He was Navy. He died when I was five.”

“Accident?”

Sawyer looked straight ahead at the ocean when he said, “Yes. He drowned. Took his speedboat out during a storm, because he loved storms.”

“Sawyer…”

“And before you say anything, I’m obviously okay on boats, Rex. I joined the fucking Navy.”

Rex rubbed a hand along the back of Sawyer’s neck. “It was still hard on you.”

“Yeah, it was. I don’t remember much, but I remember time on the boat with him. Not the yacht or the speedboat, but a dinky little fishing boat he’d row out onto the lake near our house. After he died, mom got rid of it. I guess she thought it would make her grief easier. And then I got sick.”

Rex’s insides froze. He tried to keep his voice as normal as possible when he said, “Sick?”