Bound For Me (27 page)

She walked another five minutes, through the trailer park then spotted a familiar figure hunched over a fold-out table, watering a bunch of herbs in pots. “Dad?”

“Savannah?” He turned quickly, a massive smile breaking the look of concentration in his face. “What are you doing here?”

She could ask him the same. Except she didn’t. She stared at him. “You look good,” she finally said.

He looked different. His skin wasn’t the usual sallow. He was in shorts and a tee. They were clean. And he was gardening?

“You look as beautiful as ever.” But he didn’t sound as certain. “But a little tired?”

“A lot tired.” She picked up one of the small plants and read the carefully printed lettering on the small stick.
Basil
. “Have you spoken to mom recently?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.
 

She knew he knew. There was a defeated look in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“Can I get you a drink?” He brushed his hands and turned towards the trailer door.

Savannah’s heart sank.

“I have a whole selection of teas.” He went up the couple of steps.

“
Tea
? You mean hot tea?”

“Herbal.” He nodded. “They’re good. I almost like a couple.”

She started to laugh. “Seriously?”

He turned in the open doorway. “Come in.”

Curious, Savannah followed him. She looked around her father’s new home while he fussed with the kettle. Unlike the unit she’d shared with him in the hotel, there was no mess here. There were no bottles. No scrunched up receipts. The place was tiny and sparsely decorated. Only one picture hung on the wall. A framed photo of her from a few years ago—smiling at the camera in a way she hadn’t smiled in years.
 

Savannah wrapped her cold hands around the warm mug he handed to her and breathed in the light strawberry scent. Not bad. “So you know mom’s news?”
 

There was no point in trying to make polite chat, she just had to deal with it.

“The baby? Yeah, I know.” He put his mug on the small table and frowned a little as he sat down. “She’s never coming back.”

“No. She’s not.” Savannah watched, quietly amazed as her father gently swished the teabag in his steaming mug.
 

“I didn’t think
you’d
come back,” he said very quietly.

For a moment Savannah was lost for words. “You’re my father.”

“You didn’t see your mom for ages. She hurt you and you shut her out. I thought… you might do the same to me.” He looked across at her. “I deserve it,” he said. “I stole from you. I betrayed your trust. I’ve let my addictions push away what’s most precious to me.”

“Mom,” she whispered.

“No.
You
. All these years I used your mother—my declarations of undying love for her—as an excuse to take stupid risks. To gamble. Because I am an addict,” he said it clearly, harshly, like he was still practising the admission. Still accepting it. “But you? I destroyed part of myself when I stole from you.”

“Dad—”

“When you left, that’s when I knew I had to sort it out.” He rubbed his forehead. “I went on a bender. Woke up I don’t know where and realized I’d lost everything. I’d lost you. I was hoping to have things a bit better by the time I next saw you… but you’ve come sooner than I ever hoped you would.”

He thought she was that unforgiving? That hard? Is that what her mom thought too?

“I know it’s not much,” he lifted a hand and waved it round. “But it’s within my means. I’m going to meetings. Got a part-time job down at the school, helping the caretaker there. I quite like looking after the grounds.” He smiled a little sheepishly.

“That’s great, dad.” Her eyes filled. Her father was finally,
finally
getting it together?

“I’ll pay it back, Sav,” he said gruffly. “What I took. That and more.”

“You don’t need to. I just want you to stay like this. Be
well
.”

He lifted his mug and took a small sip of the brew. “Where did you go?”

She bit the inside of her lip. “Summerhill.”

His eyebrows shot up and he set the mug down with a bang. “Shut the front door.”

She laughed at his uncool-dad-speak. “No. I did. I was going to go tell them they’re a bunch of bastards.”

“And did you?”

“Pretty much,” her laughter died.

“What was it like?”

“Even more amazing than you’d imagine. It’s just another world.”

“Not our world, Sav. I was such a fool to take a flippant comment as a serious share tip? To put everything into that? To gamble again?” He bent his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I blamed everyone but myself. But it was me making the mistakes Savannah. My mistakes. Over and over. And I’m so sorry I dragged you into it. I’m sorry I lost the hotel. I know you loved it.”

“It was just a three star little hotel, dad. I’ll build my own one day.”

“And I’m gonna come see it. I’m so proud of you. I want to make you proud of me.”

“I am proud of you now. It’s going to be okay. One day at a time, right?” If her father could do it, so could she.

“Right.” He glanced at the bag she’d dropped by the door. “You want to stay here?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m going to go stay at the hotel. Say a proper goodbye to it.”

“Yeah?” he nodded. Then he looked up at her, that hint of wariness back in his eyes. “And are you ever gonna see your mom?”

The hotel was so shabby compared to Summerhill, it was a joke to think her father had ever thought they could make something more of it. Savannah walked through the restaurant, looking over at the little bar behind which she’d practiced her bartending skills for so long. She’d had no customers, only a gently drunk father indulging her youthful fantasies. Clapping when she finally caught the water-filled plastic bottles she juggled with. Throwing cocktails made of colored water. As if a seventeen year old could take on a hotel? She wasn’t even legally allowed to be behind the bar back then.

She climbed up the worn carpet to the room the receptionist had assigned her. She knew it well. Knew it overlooked the main street. Knew the door to the ensuite bathroom used to stick.

It didn’t now. Which meant the new owners must be doing a better job of maintenance. Which was good.

She sat on the bed and pulled her phone from her pocket. She didn’t hesitate. Just dialled. “Hi mom. It’s me.”

“Savannah?” Her mother sounded surprised.

Which was no surprise really given how long it had been since Savannah had called her.

“Where are you?”

“Belle.”

“You’re home?”

“Yeah. I am.” She shifted to sit more comfortably on the bed. “Have you seen dad recently?”

“Last week. To tell him about the baby. I wouldn’t do that to him over the phone—” she broke off.
 
“I wanted to tell you in person too…” Her voice faded.

So her father had been telling the truth. He’d gotten his shit together
before
he’d heard about the baby. He’d started to try, because Savannah had left. A chunk of that heavy weight that had been sitting below her sternum for so long, melted.

“It’s okay.” Savannah paused. “You didn’t know where I was, so you couldn’t come see me anyway.”

“Would you have let me in?”

Maybe not then. But now? “You really do love Brad, don’t you?”

“Yes. And he loves me.” Her mom answered softly, but strongly.

“Dad didn’t?”

“Your father was too busy battling his addictions to love me.” Her mother’s voice broke then. “I’ve never gone a day without regretting what happened. How it happened. But I couldn’t leave him with nothing. He loved you, so much. If’ I’d taken you, he’d have been destroyed.”

“In the end he was destroyed anyway. So was I.”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help him Savannah. I tried for so long. But I wasn’t strong enough.”

“It took strength to leave us.” Savannah said quietly. “It took strength to go with Brad. When half the town was judging and mocking. That took strength.”

“Yeah,” her mother said slowly. Cautiously. “I suppose it did.”

“Because you loved him.”

“Yes.” There were tears in her mom’s voice now. “But I’m so sorry I hurt
you
. It’s the biggest regret of my life.”

“It’s okay. I’m kind of, getting over it.” Savannah smiled, though slow, silent tears tracked down her cheeks. “Life’s good. Life hurts. Life goes on.” Maybe she needed to be brave enough to forgive both of her parents. “And it was worth it, right?”

“You were always so strong. So determined. I thought it would be okay…”

“It’s getting okay, Mom. He’s getting there. So am I.”

“Life’s good for you?”

“Yeah. I might even come by and see you. See this bump, huh?”

“I’d like that, very much.”

“I’ll be in touch.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

“I’m happy you’re happy, mom.”

“I’m happier now, because I’ve heard from you.”

Savannah put the phone down. Drew in a breath. It was like she hadn’t taken a breath in so long.

She walked to the window and looked out at the street. Nothing much seemed to have changed. Yet everything had.
 

She couldn’t stop thinking about Connor. She’d been so angry with him. So hurt.
 

But two plane rides, two bus rides and lots of walking meant she’d had plenty of time to think.
 

And now? Now she thought more.

Was what she felt for him actually special? Or was it just lust?

Dumbest. Question. Ever.

So special. Even with his crazy-ass ideas.

But for him? She was the only woman he’d publicly dated in years. Was it really all about protecting his company? Had he really been with her just because of that?

Of. Course. Not.

He wasn’t that inhuman. The snow man had a soul. He was just screwed up. Just like she was. Because the pair of them had the misfortune to have parents who’d screwed up many times over. But instead of staying and sorting it through, instead of challenging him properly, she’d run away.
 

She’d never run away before. She’d always stood her ground, head high. She’d never let the stupid high school bullies know how badly they’d gotten to her. Had never let her mom near enough to hurt her again. She’d been the pillar for her father.

But Connor had more than gotten to her. He’d wormed his way right into her stupid, soft heart. And that had scared her more than anything or anyone ever had.

So yeah, she’d run. And it wasn’t even because he’d turned on her.

She’d started running before then.

But now her father was pulling himself together. Her mom making the life she wanted.

Finally, they were setting her a decent example. Surely Savannah could do the same? If she was so ‘together’, so determined to go for what she wanted, then maybe she needed to get on with it? And
fight
for it.

Chapter Twenty

“What’s up?”
 

Connor’s brother answered his phone right away, with his customary casualness, despite the early hour.

“What isn’t.” Connor growled.

“That bad?” Logan’s voice sharpened.
 

“I met a guy called Jack yesterday. Couple years younger than me. Turns out he’s our half-brother.”

“Huh.” Logan sighed.
 

In relief?

Connor held his phone from his ear and frowned at it. Should have gone for Facetime, but with Logan and Min—he didn’t ever want to see what they got up to.

“That’s all you’ve got to say?” Connor asked.

“Well are you surprised?” Logan asked back.

“No. Just disappointed.”

“What does he want? Money? I’ll give him some. Portfolio’s been going well. Oh and that brewery has really taken off. Con, you’re gonna be happy with me.”

Connor was just happy his brother was so happy—after years of pressure and unrealistic expectations from their fucked up father.

“No. He says he doesn’t want money.” Connor laughed. “He wants to get to know Dad. Us”

“Why? He must be crazy.”

“Seems okay, actually.” Connor thought about that familiar hard-line to the guy’s jaw. The determination to take the independent line. “I’ll spend some time with him.”

“Jeez, Con, I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because you have enough to deal with. You’ve worked so hard, so long. You don’t deserve to have to shovel more of Dad’s shit.”

Connor grinned. “Aw, bro… thanks.”

“I mean it. It doesn’t bother me. You know that, right? I’ll be interested to meet him. Hell, there’s probably a bunch of them out there.”