Bound for Keeps (Men of Honor) (12 page)

Instead of saying any of that, he merely said, “Okay.”

“Gonna give me something from you to come back to?” Reed asked. Keith was in the doorway, looking lazily between him and Reed.

Finally, Reed reached around and palmed the back of Shane’s neck, pulled him in close and kissed the ever-loving shit out of him. A different kiss than the other night. This one wasn’t tame, and Reed wasn’t letting him pull away.

Instead, the man’s tongue took his mouth hungrily, like he was drowning and Shane was the water. He started to panic because Keith was there…Keith would get angry…

But then Keith’s hand rested on the back of his head and that touch was gentle, calmed him enough to enjoy it. If Keith didn’t mind…

Keith didn’t mind. He put his arms around Reed, as if to stop him from moving away and Reed laughed softly into Shane’s mouth. When he pulled back, he had a crooked smile on his face and he stroked Shane’s cheek roughly.

“Beautiful. Fucking beautiful.” His voice was rough. Shane figured that was the end of it, until Reed dropped to his knees. Shane shuddered at the sight of the man between his legs, but Keith was right behind him. He leaned against Keith as Reed unzipped his jeans and freed his cock, wasting no time in taking it inside his mouth.

“Holy fuck,” Shane murmured. Couldn’t deny it was what he’d wanted to happen last night when they were all lying on the bed together. But he’d understood why it hadn’t.

His cock was encased in Reed’s hot, wet mouth, the suction making Shane jolt. His hands curled in Reed’s hair as he leaned against Keith’s chest and moaned. It would be over too soon—he knew that. Reed was too good, tonguing the slit like he was fucking it, caressing his balls, and Keith murmured, “You like this, baby boy,” and that was it. He shot down Reed’s throat harder than he’d ever remembered coming before. He called out, an indecipherable moan, and then he whimpered like he was some kind of goddamned virgin.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, Reed remaining between his legs, continuing to lick Shane’s cock lightly, Keith holding him up, but he wanted it to be for fucking forever, because that’s how good it was. For that moment, he was whole and everything was right with the world.

But it wasn’t. There was still Guthrie. And Reed was leaving and nothing was secure about his place here. Not yet.

But they were certainly offering to make him some kind of home.

Finally, Reed stood and kissed both Shane and Keith. So goddamned dirty, since they were all tasting Shane’s come, and he got hard again.

“He’s got to go,” Keith told him, and Shane managed to move off of Keith. He watched the men embrace, fought the urge to touch them, instead contented himself with watching, convinced that the two men would start fucking again in front of him.

But judging from what he’d seen and witnessed, they might’ve actually fucked themselves out. And then Keith walked away, leaving Shane with Reed.

“Like I said, I won’t be gone long. Get to know Keith. The job. This place. I think you already like it here. And us.”

“Keith’s a lot like Kyle,” Shane admitted. “Kyle was a hardass too. Didn’t take my shit. I gave him a lot of it in the beginning.”

“Been there.” Reed smiled as though enjoying the memories. “Am still there sometimes, but I guess I choose to be.”

Shane touched his lips self-consciously, thinking about what he’d just done. And Reed and Keith were going about their business like nothing happened.

Although, that wasn’t true, entirely. There was still a raised flush on Reed’s face. He’d been affected.

Finally, Reed said, “Keith’s like Kyle. You feel like it’s a betrayal.”

“Keith scares me,” he said stubbornly.

“Because you know it can bring you peace.”

And peace would be a betrayal. “Where is Kyle’s peace?”

“Knowing you’re happy,” Reed said before he picked up his bag and walked out the door.

It closed with a soft snick of an automatic lock that mimicked the sound of an un-safetied rifle. And now, he was alone. With Keith.

Reed trusted both of them that much. Shane felt humbled and worried all at once as he watched Reed get into a waiting black truck that maneuvered through the snow and ice. Watched for a long time afterwards too, his body still humming with contentment.

He didn’t notice Keith come up next to him until the man spoke. “He gets like that when he goes. Cocky as hell.”

“And hot,” Shane murmured.

“And hot,” Keith agreed.

“What’s he like when he comes back?”

“Stick around and find out.”

He planned to. The sky looked ominous and as if to give him fair warning, a few light snowflakes fluttered down.

They were nothing but a preview, according to the weather station Keith watched in the kitchen as he prepared dinner. Shane padded in there, butterflies forming in his stomach, because he had no idea what to expect, what he wanted to expect.

And maybe that was the problem.

“I cook,” he announced finally, feeling more than a little idiotic.

Keith handed him a knife, handle first. “Can you do the sides while I season the meat?”

“I can do the whole thing if you want to relax.”

“I don’t know what that word means,” Keith muttered. “Thanks for the offer, though.”

They worked in silence for a few moments, until Keith said, “I’m guessing you don’t know what the word means either.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like.”

After a few more minutes of silence and what Shane supposed was a guilty conscience, Shane finally asked, “You want to ask me how I knew about the bridge, don’t you?” and Keith shrugged. “Okay, fine. I won’t talk about it then. I just know you got pissed at Reed for letting me in on your mission. But he only did when you needed help and I insisted.”

Keith didn’t say anything or even look up at him and Shane wondered why the hell he was bothering. Instead, he viciously cut the vegetables, wishing he had his old knife that he’d lost somewhere in…

Fuck. He was forgetting where he’d been now. He put the knife down and walked out of the kitchen to catch his breath. The flashback threatened to derail him completely. He felt hot and cold at the same time, his body strung dangerously tight and he swore he heard shots and yells…

“Shane, can you come back to me?” Keith asked, his voice low like he was talking to a dangerous animal.

Which was exactly what Shane could turn into now, he knew. He nodded, managed, “I’m okay,” even though he wasn’t.

“No, you’re not. But that’s okay too.”

He couldn’t have said anything nicer. Shane smiled a little, even though Keith couldn’t see it, his body relaxed marginally. He blinked several times, forcing himself to notice the details of the cabin, to ground himself in the here and now instead of traveling back to the past that was following him here, there and every-goddamned-where.

“Come on—I’m starving. You must be too,” Keith urged, his voice neutral and after a long moment, he followed Keith back into the kitchen and started putting the cut-up vegetables into the pan for sautéing. Without thinking, Shane cooked them, lost in a semi-daze but pretty confident he wouldn’t be slipping into some kind of fugue state. Keith’s presence alone seemed to be strong enough to stop that from happening.

When they were ready, he plated them around the grilled meat that Keith finished on the snowy deck off the kitchen. He came in with red cheeks, bringing the crisp air with him.

“Just in time—if we’d waited, I’d never have been able to use the grill.”

As he said it, hailstones began to hit the cabin with the familiar tings that Shane had grown used to. Sounded like they could break glass. Keith turned up the TV like he was trying to block the sounds, which were coming like mini-explosions now, and motioned to the table. They ate in relative silence, both half watching the Clint Eastwood western that was coming in with some spotty reception.

When it went out completely, leaving just white snow, Keith reached over and clicked it off. Cleared his throat and said, “I’m trying my best not to scare you. Reed’s orders. I guess it’s not working.”

Shane wasn’t sure how to answer that, because most of it wasn’t Keith’s fault. After careful consideration, he said, “You think I’m trouble.”

“I know you’re trouble—that’s the difference.” Keith passed the platter of steak to him and he took it and chewed on Keith’s words for a while, along with a second helping of dinner.

Kyle used to tease him like that as well. Shane had a big past to overcome. With Kyle’s help, he’d gotten over that. Until Kyle was killed and all the nightmares began again, along with the new one that tailed him from city to city.

He’d kept his mouth shut, which made him ashamed, especially because it turned out not to be enough. The man who’d killed Kyle wanted him dead, and he wasn’t stopping. And he should’ve been able to handle that, to get revenge, was angrier at himself than Guthrie even, for being such a fucking coward.

The weather outside wasn’t stopping either, which meant that, for now at least, he might be safe. Should be, with the brick wall of man across from him who Shane was pretty sure could fire a gun as easily as breathing. If he was Force Recon, he was also a master at hand-to-hand combats—all types—and some other tricks that Shane had wanted to learn.

Maybe you could tell Keith the whole story, ask him to help you…

And maybe you can ice skate in hell too.

“You are way too deep in thought when you’re supposed to be eating,” Keith said, pulling him from his reverie.

“Yeah,” he muttered, and began to eat the hearty meal. Hadn’t realized how hungry he actually was until the food began to fill his stomach and he got that warm, pleasant sleepy feeling only a good meal could give you.

“Now you can tell me what you were thinking about,” Keith said when they’d both had seconds and Shane picked at thirds with Keith’s approval.

“This is the first place I’ve ever been where I didn’t want to leave, to move on to something different or better,” he admitted in a rush, the words coming out before he could even give proper thought to them.
I belong here
would’ve followed if he hadn’t finally been able to censor himself.

As it was, Keith was staring at him. “You haven’t been here long enough to know that.”

“Bullshit. Reed said he knew after two days. I’ve been here for what feels like forever.”

Keith didn’t deny it but then added, “It’s been a month and a half, Shane.”

“A good month and a half.”

“I can’t deny that.” He paused. “What happened when you were with Kyle? You wanted to move on?”

“I must sound disloyal as hell—I didn’t mean that. Kyle and I were great together. But I was always restless on the career front. Wanted to do more, but I had to put in my time. I’m slightly impatient.”

“Hadn’t noticed,” Keith said dryly. “Maybe you’re not impatient here because you haven’t been here long enough.”

“Or maybe it just feels right.”

Keith didn’t argue with that, looked at Shane with a contented smile on his face. “You know what we do for a living, right?”

“A little bit.”

“I can show you more. You can be as involved as you want—or you can help run things from the sidelines.”

“You’re offering me a job?”

“You can’t just sit around and watch movies…and me and Reed.”

“That was better than any movie,” Shane mumbled before he could help himself, his cock hardening at the mention of it. “Shit. Sorry—things just slip out sometimes.”

“You did sleep like a baby last night.”

A big aroused one, he wanted to add, but he didn’t. Instead, he brought his hands up and massaged his own neck. Lying in a bed for weeks and then pushing it too hard during a workout did not equal happy muscles.

Keith approached him, then ran his big hands across Shane’s shoulders.

“Relax, boy. I’m just getting some of the tension out. Not going to hurt you.”

Had he thought Keith would hurt him physically? “You really don’t mind that I kissed Reed when you weren’t there?”

“I didn’t mind. And I watched today, didn’t I? If I minded, don’t you think I would’ve stopped it then and there, not let it continue?” Keith asked. “Look, it’s not like we were auditioning for another threesome. It worked with Bobby for a long time. We never planned on inviting someone else into our lives like that, because lightning doesn’t strike twice. But obviously, Reed and I are comfortable with the dynamic, enough to give it a try. I don’t know how comfortable you are with it. The deeper we get, the more you’ll know.”

Shane took that in as he put his head down and let Keith’s hands work their magic.

Once Keith jumped in to this for real, it would become a fast-moving train, speeding down the tracks and more right than he could possibly imagine. And Shane would find himself dangerously and uncomfortably close to his own truth…would have to decide if he was going to share more or cut and run.

After he’d loosened Shane’s muscles, Keith insisted he’d clean up. Directed Shane to Keith and Reed’s bedroom and Shane didn’t argue, because he didn’t want to sleep alone tonight, not with the way the storm raged. He even managed to convince himself that that was the only reason.

“Such bullshit,” he muttered to himself as he slid under the covers on Reed’s side of the bed. Wanted to crawl into the middle so he’d be sure to be touching Keith but didn’t want to push it.

Keith came in about an hour later with his iPad and a laptop. He put them down in the middle of the bed, and Shane noted it was the same tracking system pulled up on the screen that Reed had used the other night.

“Is Reed all right?”

“Other people need to worry about being all right when Reed’s on a mission, not the other way around.”

Shane believed that Reed could be dangerous, as Keith implied. He didn’t know for sure what Reed had been in the Army, beyond medic and then doctor, because Reed hadn’t offered the information. Shane’s gut leaned toward special forces. Delta made the most sense, because those guys kept their positions classified even after they retired for safety reasons, their own and their family’s. “You sure he’s okay?”