Bound by the Past (2 page)

Shocked by his response, Jon cleared his throat. “Carly is the secretary here.”

“Secretary?” Reilly reached over to take her outstretched hand. Rather than return her intended handshake, he raised her hand and placed a light kiss on the knuckles. Jon’s romance-reading friend was entranced by the gesture. “Any chance I could steal you away? I’m looking for a new secretary.”

Carly smiled. “Are you really?”

“No, but I could be,” Reilly teasingly answered.

She laughed at his corny joke and again, Jon felt an irrational streak of jealousy attack. “Careful, old man, she’s young enough to be your daughter. Wouldn’t want you to have a heart attack.”

“Jon,” Carly chastised, surprised by his sudden rudeness.

“Oh, don’t mind him, Ms. James. Or is it Mrs. James?” Reilly’s interest in Carly was now fully engaged, thanks to Jon’s revealing, if foolish, comment.

“Ms. I’m divorced.”

“I see.”

Jon sensed the undertones in his mentor’s short response. The old guy saw way too much. Clearly, the only person in the room unaware of Jon’s less-than-platonic interest in Carly was Carly herself.

Her divorce became final the summer he was hired. When he had first arrived, he’d wanted a simple life devoid of complications, and she’d offered that. Over the past year, they’d filled a void in each other’s lives. He was her handyman, spending a couple Saturdays a month helping with the repairs that never seemed to run out in her old house. When he needed help typing up a test—a skill he’d never mastered—she would do it for him. However, lately he’d found his feelings for her moving beyond simple friendship, despite the fact she seemed content with their “best friends” status.

“I can see you have plans for the evening.” Reilly interrupted his thoughts. “I’ll give you time to consider my proposal and touch base with you later.”

“Proposal?” Carly asked.

“Property he’s selling,” Jon lied smoothly. “He has some land he thought I might be interested in buying. He invited me to drive out and take a look at it.”

Carly’s eyes widened. “I had no idea you were looking to buy property. How exciting. Where is this land?”

Before he could reply, Reilly answered for him. “Up on Olson Mountain, just past Lindsey Lane.”

The Commitment Church had owned and operated a fair amount of land on Olson Mountain. Because of poor roads and steep inclines, the area was nearly inaccessible to anyone the cult wished to keep out. Reilly hadn’t given up hope that he would take the case and was dangling more information in front of him despite his refusal.

“Oh, it’s beautiful out there. I think the school library has several house-plan books, Jon. You should check them out.”

“I haven’t bought the land yet and I didn’t say anything about building a house.” The idea of lying to Carly didn’t sit easily on Jon’s shoulders.

“I have to be going.” Reilly picked up his jacket. “I’ll be in touch with you later. Perhaps we can drive out to look at the property together—and Ms. James, it was a pleasure to meet you. I hope we run into one another again before I return home.”

“So do I.” She smiled as Reilly made his way to the door of the classroom.

Once Reilly left, Jon took a deep breath and braced himself for the onslaught. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Jon, you sneaky Pete. Why didn’t you tell me you were planning to buy land? I thought you were happy in your townhouse. Living up on a mountain would be amazing. I bet it has a beautiful view. Can we drive out and look at it sometime?”

Grinning, he shook his head. Not only was Carly friendly and vivacious, she had more energy than a four-year-old. “I haven’t bought the land. I wasn’t even thinking about such a purchase until Reilly came by with the offer. To tell you the truth, I’m perfectly happy in my townhouse and the stress of building my own home isn’t something I need right now.”

“Jon—” she started to protest.

“I’m not going to buy it.”

“Oh.” She was disappointed. No doubt she’d already envisioned helping him pick out carpet and appliances. “Well, I suppose it
would
be stressful. Joyce and her husband split up right in the midst of building their dream home. She said they would still be married today if it weren’t for their inept contractor and the strain of it all.”

Jon smiled. Carly knew everyone’s story because in addition to her role as secretary, she also served—in an unofficial capacity—as counselor to the entire faculty. Anything told to her in confidence was kept in confidence, and she never betrayed a trust. After living so much of his life pretending to be someone other than himself, he found her straightforward, no-nonsense attitude enlightening. She was exactly what she appeared to be.

“Well, what about the football game?” She returned to her reason for seeking him out.

“I’m in. Wanna go grab a burger beforehand?”

“Sounds great. We can hit that new place next to Lee’s Pizza in the mini-mall. I’ve heard good things about their bacon cheeseburgers.” She paused, groaning. “Oh shit.”

“What?”

“I forgot. I’m on a diet.”

“Carly,” he said in a tone he hoped would warn her he didn’t want to go down this road again. Why she thought she needed to lose weight was beyond him. Mercifully, she
wasn’t
pencil-thin. Give him a girl with curves any day—and she had her curves in all the right places. Although she complained endlessly about what she referred to as her “bubble butt”, Jon simply didn’t see it. She was the perfect hourglass, and he’d pointed out to her on more than one occasion that most women would kill for her Marilyn Monroe figure.

Unfortunately, his compliments were continually rebuffed. He tried not to be annoyed that the woman simply could not accept any favorable comments about herself. If there was one thing about her that drove him crazy, it was her low self-esteem.

“Of course, I’ve been on a diet for ten years, so I don’t see what difference a lousy burger is going to make. My metabolism seems to have died a painful death years ago and there’s simply no reviving it. It’s hell getting old.”

“You aren’t old.” His voice sounded gruff, but he was tired of hearing her put herself down. “And you aren’t fat. You’re just right.”

At her eye-rolling dismissal of his words, Jon felt his anger building.

“I’m a practical girl with eyes and mirrors, Jon, and besides, I figure I have something much better than good looks.”

“What’s that?” He tried to calm the fury Reilly had set loose inside him.

“Common sense. That’s much better than brilliance or beauty.”

“Well,” he answered, “it seems to me, you have all three.”

“You’re such a sweet friend.” She turned as if to leave. That was the other thing that drove him crazy. Whenever faced with a compliment, she became embarrassed and left the room.

Unwilling to allow her to depart this time, he grabbed her arm before she’d taken two steps. “You
are
beautiful.” He forced her to look him in the eye with a firm finger under her chin.

“Jon—”

“Say it,” he demanded harshly.

“Say what?” She was clearly shocked by his domineering manner. He’d only ever treated her with kid gloves, but Reilly’s visit upset him more than he cared to admit. He felt shades of his former personality breaking through the cool exterior he’d worked hard to construct. Listening to his gorgeous friend’s ridiculous self-recriminations drove him over the edge.

“I’m beautiful,” he repeated, refusing to back down.

“You’re beautiful.” She gave him an impish smile—however, her joke was wasted on him. He could feel himself slipping into the old Jon.

“I’ve got all night.” His grip on her arm tightened. “Are you going to say it or not?”

“I don’t understand…”

He watched the smallest glimmer of fear creep into her confused eyes but he refused to give her an inch.

“I mean it, Carly. I’ve had it with your comments. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and if you try to tell me one more time that you’re not, I’ll lose it.”

Carly smiled at his words. He watched as the fear and confusion were replaced by what appeared to be amazement. “That is absolutely, positively the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“And that’s the problem, but that doesn’t stop it from being the truth. Now, are you going to say it or am I going to take you over my knee?”

He watched her cheeks flush at his comment. It appeared she was struggling to take a deep breath and the pupils in her lovely blue eyes dilated.

Could it be she wouldn’t mind such an occurrence?

He felt a serious stirring in his pants that would cause her to blush even more if she spotted it. Usually he was able to keep his one-eyed friend under control around her, careful not to frighten her with his interest.

As he watched her stammering, Jon wondered why he’d started this conversation. What the hell was he thinking? It was that damn Reilly. He’d left him in a state of turmoil, opening a Pandora’s box. The old, dangerous Jon was beginning to reemerge from the wreckage of his earlier life. He felt the new calm, cool and collected Jon quickly losing the ground he’d gained in the last few years.

“I—I’m b-beautiful.” The sincerity of her words was questionable enough, but she sealed her fate when she rolled her eyes and giggled with exasperation at the end of her statement.

“That’s it.” He dragged her toward the chair behind his desk.

“Jon.” She began to struggle.

“Don’t fight me.” He pulled harder as she dug her heels in. “I gave you a chance.”

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m beautiful. I’m the most gorgeous woman on Earth. I should be a supermodel or a movie star, I’m so fucking hot. Happy?”

He turned to face her and felt his anger melt away at the humor written on her lovely face. He’d behaved like a brute but rather than run away in fear, she continued to tease him.

Grimacing at his foul behavior, he barked out a brief “sorry” before turning to load his briefcase. He needed to put some distance between them before he did something they’d both regret.

“Wanna tell me what the hell that was all about?” she asked after a few moments of uneasy silence.

He shook his head.

“Jon.” She paused, waiting until he looked at her before finishing her comment. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Still want that burger?”

“Heck yeah. I’m beautiful
and
hungry.”

Grabbing his briefcase and leather jacket in one hand, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder in a friendly gesture. “You’re beautiful and crazy.”

They’d nearly reached the classroom door when she pulled away. “You wouldn’t really have…” She gestured back to the desk chair. “You know.”

“Spanked you?” He grinned with the lightheartedness she seemed to bring out in him.

She blushed and nodded.

“Oh yeah—and I would have loved every minute of it.” He watched her cheeks grow even redder. “Don’t worry, Blue Eyes, knowing you and that mouth of yours, I have no doubt I’ll get to carry through on the threat eventually. And trust me, you’ll love every minute of it too.”

Ignoring her speechlessness, he winked and continued to guide her out into the hallway before turning off the lights and locking the door.

Jon was starving by the time they finally made it to the burger joint. They’d separated at the front door of the school with his promise to swing by her place an hour later to pick her up. They’d both needed time to change into more comfortable clothes and Jon had needed time to regroup, regain control of emotions.

Tonight’s football game promised to be an exciting one, with Lowell taking on a crosstown rival. The stands would be packed. He looked forward to being forced into cramped conditions with Carly, soaking up the scent of strawberries left in her hair from the shampoo she used. God, he loved the way she smelled.

He wasn’t sure exactly when his attitude toward her had changed, but lately he wanted Carly James with a need so powerful it frightened him. There were two big things holding him back from changing their status quo. First of all, if the truth about his past ever came out, she would never forgive him.

Secondly, normal girls like Carly would never understand the needs that lived inside him—and the fact that Night was back in town only exacerbated the problem. Every time he imagined kissing Carly, Night’s face flashed through his mind as well. It was enough to drive him crazy. And the knowledge that those desires hadn’t faded with time stopped him dead in his tracks every time his self-control wavered. She deserved much better than him, and he knew it. Night’s return—in light of his growing feelings for Carly—was going to test him.

He felt certain he’d fail.

Night would take one look at her and want her every bit as much as Jon did, and he could never hope to explain—even to himself—why he was overwhelmed by the longing to share her with his best friend.

His upbringing had definitely shaped and fueled that need. He’d been introduced to the Commitment Church the year he’d turned eleven. His father had died unexpectedly of a heart attack and his mother, Cassandra, had discovered Reverend Rex Thomas’ cult. Actually, Rex discovered Cassandra. As was his practice, he’d preyed on young widows and divorcees. However, instead of finding a distraught woman in desperate need of rescuing, Rex had found a kindred spirit in Cassandra. Renouncing his harem, he proclaimed her his high priestess within months of their arrival at the compound. As Cassandra ascended the ranks of the cult, Jon followed. Rex took him under his wing, and Jon—enthralled by no longer being forced to go to school—embraced cult life.

At fourteen, Jon and Night, Rex’s son by one of his numerous wives, were initiated into the world of sex. Most women in the cult were trained and cultivated to serve the male members’ every sexual fantasy. BDSM was widely practiced, and by sixteen, Jon and Night were accomplished masters. They’d always shared the women and for several years after the cult fell, Jon had found it impossible to enjoy sex without the presence of his friend. One night—after too much whiskey—he’d discovered Night experienced the same feeling of loss. After that, they’d begun to seek out women willing to take on both of them in bed.