Bound by the Past (18 page)

After a few moments, she seemed to adjust to the feeling. Night watched her breathing become steadier. Jon must have felt it as well because he added another finger to the dance. Again, he let her body set the pace. In and out, he pushed until she relaxed.

Once she’d accepted three of his fingers with relative ease, Jon removed his hand.

Night took the lube off the table and smeared his dick with it. Positioning himself, he slowly pushed forward until just the head of his cock was lodged in her tight anus. She started to tense up again but Jon was back at her head, leaning down and whispering hot, dark words in her ear. He felt her body’s natural liquid flow from her empty pussy. Night couldn’t resist running his fingers through it, using it to touch and tease the hard nub of her clit.

Jon’s words and his touch worked their magic and she began to push back, silently begging for more of his cock.

“That’s right, slave.” Jon was running his hands through her hair. “Let Night in. He’s your master now. Your body belongs to him.”

Her movements were erratic and borderline desperate. Night held tight to her hips, refusing to let her direct their play. The more she wanted, the better it would be. Problem was, he was barely holding on himself. Her ass was clenching around him, driving him wild. She sobbed and the sound broke the last of his restraints. Night plunged into her tight, hot depths in one thrust.

She screamed and tried to recoil, but Jon’s strong hand on her back, Night’s firm grip on her hips held her steady. Her body was heaven on earth and he felt a stirring in his heart.

“God. Night.”

“Dammit, Carly. No talking.” Night recalled his role and added, “Slave.”

Then he gave her no more than a few seconds to accept his girth before he let loose with all the need, the desire, the fear locked up inside him. He was overwhelmed by the emotions this moment was creating in him. He didn’t want a slave. He wanted love. Acceptance. He understood now why Jon couldn’t go through with this training.

Night slowed his pace.

Carly seemed to notice his hesitance. She pressed back against him. “I want you, Night. So much. Please. Don’t stop.”

All the years of feeling unworthy, unloved and broken bubbled to the forefront. He struggled to understand how this tiny woman, after so short an acquaintance, could see something decent and worthwhile inside him when no other woman ever had. Not his mother, certainly not Cassandra, no one.

He withdrew. Then returned. On and on he pounded inside her ass, silently begging her with his body to take it all away from him. Release him from the chains that had bound him since birth, held him to a life that was cold and lonely and dark.

Her inner muscles clenched and he vaguely sensed she was coming, but still he drove on. There was too much. Too much bad stuff inside him and he wanted it out. All of it. Another orgasm ripped through her body and the grip of it was almost painful against his cock. Sweat poured down his face, stinging his eyes and dripping onto the soft skin of her back.

“More!” he cried. “There’s more. Take it. Take it all.” And he continued to ride her. She came for a third time and finally, he was powerless to resist the pull. He emptied himself deep within her, filling her ass with come.

“Night?” Her voice was rough and came out in a whisper.

He couldn’t move. He was crushing her against the table, but his arms and legs felt paralyzed.

“Night.” She pushed against him as he struggled to pull them both up and away from the table. He was only able to remain upright for a second before he fell into one of the kitchen chairs. She followed him onto the chair, curling up on his lap like a cat. She put her arms around his shoulders and pulled his face into the crook of her neck.

It was then Night realized it wasn’t sweat running down his face, but tears. He was crying. Christ. He’d never cried a day in his life and yet, here in her sweet embrace, he was sobbing like a baby.

She rocked him gently as he tried to stem the flow of tears. Her kind, soft “shhh” continued to undo him.

He tried to choke out an apology. He’d taken her like a wild animal on the table and he certainly didn’t deserve her consoling hug. When at last he regained control, she pulled his face to hers and kissed him. It was the kiss of an angel, and for the first time in his life, he not only felt purged of his sins, he felt new, reborn. Free.

“I’m falling in love with you.” He whispered the words against her lips, knowing in his heart it was too soon to make such a confession. They known each other a week and yet, it was the truth. “God. I’m sorry.”

She smiled and kissed his rough cheek. “That doesn’t sound like something that requires an apology.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Maybe not completely. But I want to.” She ran her hand along his face so sweetly, he feared he’d start to cry again. “I want to know you inside and out.”

Her words fell around him like a cool waterfall on a hot summer’s day. He wrapped her tighter in his embrace, holding her close for several minutes.

Jon.
The thought of his friend caused him to pull away from her. When he looked around, he realized Jon was no longer in the room.

When had he left, and why?

“He’s not here.” She answered his unasked question. “I think he knew we needed a few minutes alone together.”

“I hurt you, Carly. I was too rough.”

She laughed quietly. “Good pain and bad pain, remember?”

“And where did that fall?”

“Honestly. It hurt like hell at first. And then, it felt like heaven.”

“Please don’t go to the compound.” The words flew from his lips.

“How can I
not
go? You and Jon are risking your lives, your sanity to see this woman brought to justice. I love you both, Night. There’s no way I can stay behind. Not if there’s a chance I can help you. Do you think I don’t see how much this is hurting you? Hurting Jon? Please don’t ask me to stay behind.”

“We don’t deserve you.” He smiled as he spoke but he’d never meant any words more.

She giggled. “I’m going to need that in writing. For all those times the two of you become overbearing and impossible.”

Night joined her laughter. It felt good to be teasing and joking, especially after the intensity of the last few moments. Leave it to her to know exactly how to make him feel better.

“We’re never overbearing and impossible. You must be thinking of someone else.”

“Actually, I was using the kindest descriptions. I left out arrogant, possessive, demanding—”

He laughed louder. “Well, it seems like you have your work cut out for you. Maybe it isn’t Jon and I who are doing the training here.”

“Now you’re getting it.” She stood and pulled him to his feet. “Come on. Let’s find Jon. I only have twenty-two more hours to whip you boys into shape.”

Carly drove home from work, her mind racing over the events of the past couple days. She had held the men to their promise and the word “uncle” never crossed her lips during those twenty-four hours. Of course, if she was being honest with herself, she’d admit they didn’t try too hard after their tryst in the kitchen. She suspected something very vital had changed within both men during that episode, although she couldn’t quite put her finger on what.

She’d witnessed firsthand the pain the past was causing them and—regardless of the peril—she was determined she would help them find closure. She refused to let either of them fall victim to any more abuse at that vicious woman’s hands.

It had taken all the strength in her body to remain still the night Jon had received the phone call from Cassandra. Even now, she felt a pain in her chest as she recalled the lost sound in his voice. She’d immediately followed the men downstairs and listened to their anguished discussion. She could only imagine the pain Jon had suffered, watching his first love murdered so brutally by Rex.

Like Jon, she felt no pleasure in seeing the past dragged back up, but she agreed with Night that it was way past time to see Cassandra punished for her crimes. Besides, as long as Trisha remained at the retreat and in danger, she refused to back down from that goal. The young girl had worked as an aide in the office and they had become quite close. Carly was aware things at home had been rough. Trisha’s father had recently lost his job and had begun drinking as a result. Even that, however, seemed to pale in comparison to the thought that Trisha was in danger of being sold into a life of prostitution…

“Shit!”

She pulled her car off the road and claimed an empty parking spot in front of Food Lion. Her hands started trembling and suddenly she was sobbing uncontrollably.

What the hell was she doing? She’d thrown herself right smack dab in the middle of a mission like something out of a Tom Clancy novel. She was immersing herself in a dangerous, bizarre investigation where there was a very real possibility she could be raped, shot or killed. To make matters worse, there were other women’s lives depending on her success or failure.

She wasn’t this kind of woman. Hell, she’d stayed in an unhappy marriage for ten years simply because it was easier than seeking a divorce. She’d never done anything more life threatening than skiing and even that risk was taken on the freaking bunny slope. And despite all of that, she was willing to fly up the mountain to enter the facility because the fact of the matter was, that prospect seemed less frightening than dealing with what was actually terrifying the hell out of her.

She’d fallen headlong in love with two men who, amazingly enough, seemed to be equally in love with her. Night and Jon, in the course of a few days, had become as vital to her as the air she breathed.

Christ. She couldn’t keep both of them. Could she? A ménage is a fantasy. There weren’t really people out there who actually lived the fantasy every day, were there? Neither one of the men seemed the least bit fazed about their unusual relationship. Every night, the three of them fell into bed together as if it were the most natural thing in the world. But what happened when the real world intruded? People would eventually start to notice if she was constantly on the arms of two men.

Holy hell, what would her family say? Even though they were pretty liberal-minded and they’d met Jon and loved him, what would they think if she added Night to the equation? A threesome. How the hell would she explain it to them? Talk about your awkward Thanksgiving dinner conversations.

Besides, what if, once they avenged the crimes committed by Cassandra and put the pain of their past behind them, they decided to move on? What if, in their attempts to move on, they decided to leave their unusual needs—and her—behind?

She struggled to stem the flow of tears. If she walked into the house with puffy, red eyes they would pounce on her in a moment, demanding to know what was wrong. What would she say? Both of them were facing their own fears right now, very real fears—and she suddenly felt silly for her tears. They’d endured years of a strange form of child abuse and now they were being forced to confront one of their abusers. How could she add to their worries with her own foolish concerns?

They needed to take this relationship one day at a time. Her worries could wait. She wouldn’t add to their problems. Not now, when there was so much to truly overcome. They had to settle the past before they could look to the future. She struggled to push her own fears aside. They needed her and she would be there for them. They’d face this mission together and they would win. She refused to think otherwise. Then, they would sit down and have a serious chat about the long run.

Feeling somewhat better, she blotted her tears, fixed her makeup and headed for Jon’s townhouse.

* * * * *

“I’m home.” Carly heard voices in the kitchen so she threw down her purse and headed in that direction. Reilly and Jon were in a heated discussion, seated opposite each other at the table. Night was slamming cabinets and drawers in what appeared to be his attempt at making dinner.

“Home sweet home.” She spoke the words with a light laugh, but the men at the table ignored her joke and continued glaring at each other. Night crossed the room to place a soft kiss on her cheek, but even his face was hard and serious. She took another glance around and then groaned. The house had been a hotbed of tension and arguments over how to proceed ever since they’d told Reilly she was going undercover at the compound.

“Not this again. Jon, it’s been decided. Today was my last day at work. I’ve put in for two weeks’ vacation and I’m going to the retreat tomorrow.”

“All I’m suggesting is that you wait two more days.” Jon stood up but didn’t approach her.

She rolled her eyes. “Two more days will only put me there the day before you guys show up. How on earth can I gather any useful information in that amount of time? Besides, your mother is expecting me tomorrow.”

The day after she’d convinced them to allow her to participate in their covert operation, she’d returned to the retreat center to accept the position as office manager. They had preceded her up the mountain that day and hidden out at Night’s old observation post—armed and ready to storm the place if she didn’t leave the compound before two hours had passed, regardless of Reilly’s protests.

“You aren’t going up there to find information. Just to make sure the women are okay. Don’t you dare try to start snooping around. Lock yourself in your room every night.”

“I know all that, Jon. We’ve been through this about a million times.”

Reilly frowned. “Do what Jon says, by all means, but don’t forget—”

“Don’t forget to be such a nuisance that Cassandra is annoyed enough with me to put me on top of her list of women to train and sell.” She waved her hand in front of a fake yawn. “Isn’t there anything else you fellas talk about besides your missions? Sports, cars, hot babes? You know, guy stuff?”

Night chuckled at her jest, but Jon sat back down heavily on the chair and she took a closer look at his face. There were dark circles under his eyes and she recognized the tension in his neck and shoulders.