Bound and Determined (12 page)

But Asia was already shaking her head. “I just can’t do it. I’m sorry, Marcus. I should have kept my distance from you like I’d originally intended.”

He jumped on that. “But you couldn’t, could you? You feel the pull just as much as I do.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’ll fade. It always does.”

He didn’t even know what to say to that ridiculous comment. How did one deal with someone who was being completely unreasonable?

She didn’t wait for his brain to kick in with an effective response.

“Have a good life, Marcus.”

At last, he found his voice. “This isn’t over.”

Her only answer was to close the door in his face with a finality that ripped his guts out.

“I think you’re making a huge mistake.” Thea took a sip of her wine.

Asia snapped. She’d had it with being told she’d done the wrong thing by breaking things off with Marcus. “Would everybody just stop telling me that?”

She glared at both Thea and Lexi, who just shrugged and said, “We would if you’d listen and go talk to him.”

“It’s not going to happen, so give it up already.”

“Sorry, no can do. You’re throwing away a terrific guy because of something another jerk did to you. It makes no sense.”

“It makes sense to me.”

Thea grunted. “Maybe so, but none of
us
are impressed.”

“You don’t have to be. I know I did the right thing.” If only Asia didn’t sound so uncertain even to her own ears, maybe the others would leave her alone.

“Sure you do. That’s why you look like death warmed over. Because you’re
so
happy with your decision.”

The sarcasm dripping off of Thea’s tone grated on raw nerves. Asia just wanted to be left alone to get over what she now realized was a broken heart. She’d gone and fallen for Marcus and it had happened so fast she hadn’t even realized it until after she’d cut him out of her life.

Now she really wasn’t sure she’d done the right thing. Of course, she wasn’t sure it was the wrong thing either. So she was kind of stuck in limbo. It was just as well to leave things as they were, because if she cared this much about him after such a short amount of time, how much worse would it be if he broke her heart down the road?

No, she’d done the right thing by breaking things off. She had.

Hadn’t she?

Annoyed by her constant wavering, she tried to divert the conversation by going on the attack. “I don’t see either of you two taking a chance on love.”

Thea and Lexi both looked a little uncomfortable under Asia’s close scrutiny.

Then Thea took back control and jumped in. “Don’t change the subject. This isn’t about us, it’s about you.”

“Well, I’m tired of talking about me and my problems. I’d rather talk about yours.”

A commotion at the door announced a group of people coming into the bar and the conversation lagged.

Thea smiled. “There he is.”

“There who is?” Asia whipped around, afraid she was about to find out the real reason she’d been lured to the bar. “It had better not be Marcus.”

Thea smiled in smug satisfaction. “It isn’t.”

And sure enough, it wasn’t. It was, however, the last person she wanted to see. Ever again. “You knew Davis was going to be here tonight, didn’t you?”

“Sure did. He reserved the pool table and a table beside it. It’s his birthday.”

With shock, Asia realized she’d forgotten about it. Last year on this day she’d moped around the apartment, alternating between crying and fuming at Davis’s perfidy. This year it hadn’t even crossed her mind to care. That was a major improvement.

“Why did you want me to see him? You used to help me
avoid
seeing him.”

Lexi piped up. “We thought it was time you got a clear view of what Davis is really like. It’s time for you to put what happened behind you.”

Only half listening, Asia observed Davis like someone would a test subject in a lab. And as she watched him, it hit her that his polished good looks had lost some of their luster. His smile was too wide, his laugh too loud, his eyes too close together. Maybe it was just her, but she’d never noticed any of those things before.

As she continued to watch him interact with others, she saw him with whole new eyes. Eyes that weren’t blinded by love. And what she saw shocked her. It was obvious he’d come with his current girlfriend. It was also obvious that he ogled and flirted with any female who came within range. But he was so cunning about it his girlfriend wasn’t even aware of it. She was just as clueless as Asia had been.

“What a complete jerk. How did I not see that before?”

Thea snorted. “I tried to tell you. You didn’t want to hear it.”

Asia wanted to deny it but that would have been a lie. Thea
had
tried to tell her, as had Gram. But she’d been in love, blind to his faults, and in her usual stubborn way, hadn’t wanted to hear it. She had in fact dismissed their concerns because, fool that she was, she’d been so certain they were wrong.

Asia looked back at Davis again, just in time to see the obnoxious creep pinch a waitress and let his hand caress her ass, dropping his hand the moment his girlfriend glanced his way. Disgust shuddered through her. He was so revolting she couldn’t even stand looking at him anymore.

She turned back to her friends. “
This
was a good idea. A real eye-opener. Looking at him is like looking at a stranger.”

And so he was. Because she’d never really known him.

Davis was a cheating bastard at heart and always would be. She was well rid of him.

Something else was glaringly obvious. Marcus was nothing like him. She’d seen Marcus when he didn’t know she was watching. He didn’t flirt or encourage women’s attention. They offered, but he didn’t take them up on it. Unlike Davis, who actively sought other women.

Marcus sure as hell didn’t deserve to be slotted into the same category as that jackass.

If only she could be certain she could always trust him. And trust herself to handle whatever came her way.

Chapter Thirteen

Asia had spent a sleepless night trying to figure out what she should do. Her fear of getting hurt again was very real, but if there was ever a guy who was worth taking a chance on it was Marcus.

Unfortunately, fear was winning so far. Every time she tried to imagine herself back with Marcus again, the panic rose into her throat, taking away any desire to give it a try.

“So when do you plan to stop moping around and fix the mess you’ve made?”

Startled, Asia looked up from the book she hadn’t been able to concentrate on enough to read. Her grandmother stood in the doorway that led to the back storeroom with her arms crossed and eyes glaring at Asia. Gram was more than ready for battle, her intent plainly written on her face.

Asia sighed, tired of defending what she’d done. “What mess would that be?”

“Don’t be coy with me, girl. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Asia put down her book. “I’m sorry, Gram. I’m just sick of everybody nagging me about this.”

Gram dropped her arms and crossed over to where Asia was sitting behind the counter. “And still you do nothing about it. Doesn’t the fact that everyone thinks you’re wrong even register with you?”

What did she think?
“Everyone wouldn’t have to live with my broken heart. I’d be all alone in that one.”

“That’s not the point and you know it. Marcus is a terrific young man and he likes you. More to the point, you like him too. I never thought I’d say this about any blood kin of mine, but you’re being stupid and a coward.”

Wow. Gram was
very
upset with her. Her temper rose a bit in defensive response. “Don’t hold back. Tell me what you really feel.”

“Don’t sass me. I’m telling you what I think because you need to hear it.”

“The only stupid thing I did was to get involved with Marcus in the first place.”

“No, that was the first smart thing you’ve done since Davis showed his true colors. You’ve done nothing but lick your wounds ever since. I tried to give you time to get over it, but you just aren’t. You’re set in cement.”

Asia’s anger deflated and she shrugged. “So what if I am? I’m comfortable with things the way they are.” Well, not really, but she wasn’t going to own up to that one.

Gram harrumphed. “Comfortable is just another word for boring.”

Asia grumbled. “I’m not boring.”

“You’re that and worse, a coward.”

Asia didn’t touch that one, because deep down she suspected Gram was dead on with that particular observation.

“Ha, you know I’m right. I didn’t raise you to hide from life. I raised you to live it to the fullest and I can’t stand seeing you like this anymore.”

There was nothing Asia hated more than disappointing her grandmother. Her shoulders sagged. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“Yes, you do. You need to stop being so afraid to put your heart out there. If you hold onto it too tight, it’ll shrivel up and die. That’s no kind of life.”

“But look at what happened to you
and
to Mom. You were both abandoned and left to raise a child on your own. The women in our family suck at picking men. Look at our track record.”

Gram snorted. “You can’t live your life based on that. Sure things can go wrong, but nothing will ever go right either if you don’t take some chances. Life is all about taking chances, putting yourself out there, going for it. It’s not about hiding away from men and doing nothing fun and exciting.”

“You don’t wish you’d made different choices?”

“Hell, no. And your mother didn’t either. If I hadn’t married your grandfather, your mother wouldn’t have been born, which means you wouldn’t have been born. The two most precious people in the world to me wouldn’t have existed. I can’t even bear to think of that kind of loss.”

Asia’s throat tightened and tears threatened to spill. “I love you, Gram.”

“I love you too. But right now I’m not very happy with you.”

“I’m sorry about that, Gram. I really am. But I can’t help the way things are.”

“Of course you can. You can suck it up and go for it. Now do me proud and show some courage.”

All of a sudden she was six years old again. Vulnerable. Unsure. Scared. “But how do you fight back the fear? I don’t know if I can.”

“Course you can. Haven’t you figured it out yet? Courage isn’t the lack of fear. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway.”

Asia blinked, taken aback. She rolled the thought over, looking at it from different angles. “I’d never thought of it that way before.”

“It’s the
only
way to think of it. You have to acknowledge that you’re afraid and decide to do it anyway. It’s the only way you’re ever going to be happy.”

A part of Asia leapt with hopefulness, another part held back. Afraid to take that first step. But then that was the point, wasn’t it? To take that step in spite of the fear.

But was Marcus even interested in her anymore? After all, it had been a week since she’d sent him packing. He might have been so angry he’d decided she wasn’t worth the effort and moved on. No one could blame him. Least of all her.

There was only one way to find out.

“So, in other words you blew it.”

Marcus gave his sister a withering look. “How do you figure that?”

Jen returned his look with one of her own. “She’s not here, is she? You two aren’t talking. It’s pretty self-explanatory.”

“To
you
.”

“Well, you can’t leave things the way they are. I can tell you really like this woman. You need to go talk to her again.”

“I plan on it. I’ve just been giving her some space, a chance to figure things out.”

“Don’t wait too long. A woman needs to know she’s wanted.”

“I know that too. I didn’t grow up in a houseful of women and not learn at least that much.”

Jen chuckled. “I guess that’s true enough.”

She got up from the couch and stretched. “I wish I didn’t have to go already, but I have to meet Eric.”

Marcus stood and walked Jen to her car with an arm around her shoulder. “Thanks for coming out.”

Once they reached her car, she enclosed him in a huge bear hug. “You know I couldn’t stay away. I was worried about you.”

He squeezed her back. “Don’t worry about me, sis. I’ll figure out a way to get past the walls Asia’s erected.”

She squeezed him again and stepped back. “You do that. I’ve never seen you this interested in a woman before, so don’t you dare let her get away.”

Marcus chuckled. “You’re determined to get me married off, aren’t you?”

She nodded with a firmness that showed just how determined she was. “We all are. You don’t stand a chance.”

Marcus grinned ruefully. “Don’t I know it.”

The sound of an approaching car caught his attention, and he turned to see a familiar red Pontiac G5 coming toward them. He couldn’t believe his eyes, but fresh hope washed through him. “Well, look at this. You’re going to get to meet her after all.”

Jen strained to catch a glimpse of Asia through the car window. “You’re kidding.”

He tried not to let his hopes get too high while he strove to catch a glimpse of her himself. “Nope.”

Damn.

Asia thought she’d have a bit of time to mentally prepare once she got to Marcus’s place, but there he was standing in his driveway.

And he was hugging a beautiful woman, no less.

A jolt of pain lanced through her heart, followed by the jealousy that had turned into a knee-jerk reaction thanks to her ex. It roared to life fresh and raw, ready to rip her hard-earned common sense to shreds. The unwelcome green-eyed monster urged her to turn and run, get away. It was so strong she almost did. But the need to fight her fear was still stronger. She was nothing if not determined. And logic was her friend.

Don’t be such a ninny jumping to hasty conclusions.
You don’t know what’s going on here. It was stupid to assume this was another woman. She might be, but even if she was, Asia had broken things off with Marcus so he had every right to see someone else if he wanted.

But she also knew he had four older sisters. This could easily be one of them. She was of similar height and coloring, after all.
Come on, woman, have the decency to ask questions first and draw conclusions later.