Bound (8 page)

I sighed. “About this morning . . .”

She waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I have to go, I’ve got errands to run.”

I looked up at the ceiling as the door closed, feeling a strong urge to go back to the gym and swim until my muscles ached. But then I’d miss the meeting. I headed for the shower, hoping maybe Kate would be herself again when I saw her in a couple hours.

She ran in at the last minute again and got stuck next to Trace. Had she learned nothing? I pressed my lips together as the large, smelly 20-something looked Kate up and down.

And adding to my aggravation, Tara was back. I’d made a rule as soon as I went pro that I’d never be an asshole to a fan, and I hadn’t broken it yet. But she was on my last nerve, babbling about her shoes and her jealous ex-boyfriend and dropping hints about liking it rough until
finally
, Kirk started the meeting.

Kate was up first, and I wished she’d look at me so I could get a clue how she was feeling.

“Hi, I’m Kate,” she said, her eyes flitting from her hands to the faces in the circle of fellow grievers. “And I finally found a job.”

She grinned at the applause that broke out. She was so fucking cute when she smiled like that.

“Where?” asked a lady named Karen.

“Well . . . I work for this guy,” Kate said. My heart picked up a little at her mention of me. “He seems pretty okay so far, but he can be a little moody.
And cocky. Like today, when I was looking for something in his closet, I found a semi-nude picture of him in a drawer. Who keeps semi-nude pictures of
themself
?”

Laugher sounded around the
room and I pressed my lips together to avoid an all-out grin. This girl. First of all, she’d been in my underwear drawer? Not that I minded, but I’d much rather her see my underwear on me than folded up in a drawer. And she’d found the magazine. I’d saved a copy, yeah, because when I was ancient I wanted to be able to remember these days.

“What does he look like?” Tara as
ked. “Did you bring the picture?”

I leaned forward in my chair, eager to hear Kate’s assessment of me. She smiled and looked down at her lap like she was thinking.

“I didn’t bring the picture, no. He’s good looking, if you like the dark, swaggery type. And when I’m with him, I feel . . . good.”

What did that mean? I leaned forward in my seat more, willing her to continue.
Talk, Kate.

“And do you like that
?” Kirk asked.
I fucking love you, Kirk.

Her smi
led faded and I ground my palms into my knees. “I don’t know. Sometimes it feels good, like I can let go of the sadness. But then I feel guilty about that, like I should keep the sadness with me all the time because . . . it’s all I have of my baby.”

“Did you get an abortion?” Tara blurted. Several faces turned her way, all stunned.

“Shut the fuck up,” I said, my voice laced with anger. “You don’t ask shit like that here.”

“Ryke,” Kirk said, holding up a hand to mediate. “Let me . . . um, Tara, he’s ri
ght. We never judge or question. And nothing ever leaves the room, including who’s here.”

“Sorry,” Tara mumbled.

My pissed off mood cooled a bit as others spoke and I felt Kate’s gaze on me. When I’d make eye contact, she’d look away self-consciously. I couldn’t pay attention to anyone in the room but her.

Rose was next to me, and she looked more reserved than usual as Kirk called on her.

“Roy and I would have celebrated our 40
th
wedding anniversary tomorrow,” she said, smiling sadly. “No one but me even remembers. My kids have forgotten already.”

Kirk leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Do you want to share how that makes you feel, Rose?”

“Lonely. And sad. I don’t think it would make me feel better if the kids did remember. I just want to spend the day alone, looking at our wedding album and baking.”

“And will you?” Kirk asked.

“Yes, I think so,” she said, turning to me. Her expectant expression told me it was my turn to share.

I blew out a breath. I hadn’t talked at the group in a long time, and I sure as hell didn’t want to share anything personal with Tara in the room. “Uh
. Hi, I’m Ryke,” I said, waving. “I was kind of a prick to someone this morning, and now I feel like an asshole.”

“Did you apologize?” Kirk asked.

“I wanted to, but I’m not very good at it,” I said, wrapping my fingers around the back of my neck. I couldn’t look at Kate.

“Were you . . .
a prick
to a woman?” Kirk prodded. “Did it have anything to do with your late wife?”

I glared at him
, wishing he couldn’t see through me so goddamned easy.

“I
don’t know,” I mumbled. “It made me think about things a lot today. I guess, the thing about Maggie is that everyone thinks she was the love of my life, and that I must be lost without her.”

Kirk didn’t look shocked, though I’d just said something that made it clear what an asshole I was. “And do you feel like you have to feed that perception?”

I thought about it. “I don’t feed it, but I don’t set anyone straight, either. I wouldn’t want to say anything negative about her, you know? The truth, I guess, is that there were some good times, and being reminded of those . . . it doesn’t happen much, but when it does, it’s . . . surprising. You’d think it would only be the good memories that would be hard, but the ones that aren’t so great . . .” I made myself stop. I was off course here, and I didn’t even know why. Saying the shit I needed to say for Kate to understand why I’d been pissed was hard enough. Why was I adding all this?

I ran my hands over my thighs to wipe the sweat off of them. “This morning I was just being an asshole. Blaming a memory of my dead wife is a dick move.”

Kirk must have known by my tone that I was done, because he moved on to Tara. I drowned out her voice, staring at Kate’s feet under the brim of my hat. She wore little black shoes that looked like ballet slippers, and I saw a hint of her little toe through a hole in one of them.

I wanted to take her to dinner again after the meeting, to have some time alone with her. Maybe then I could apologize the right way. But as soon as Kirk dismissed the meeting, she bolted.
I tried to follow her, but Tara blocked my path, asking if I wanted to go get a drink. I brushed her off and tried to catch Kate, but she was already gone.

Chapter 5

Kate

Not being flat broke was an odd feeling. Ryke had given his accountant my checking account number and I’d already been paid for the first week of work. That meant I could fill my car all the way up with gas, which hadn’t happened in a long time. I’d also been able to pay my mom back the whole $470 I owed her.

And I’d
stopped at a bakery on the way to Ryke’s and gotten some cranberry muffins. I was planning to heat them up while the coffee was brewing. Hopefully he would still be in the shower when I walked in and I could get into a conversation with Mimi to avoid awkwardness with him.

But no such luck. When I walked in, he was sitting at the dark wood kitchen table, looking at the screen of a laptop. There was a cup of coffee by his computer and another one across the table. A woman announcing the morning news on the flat screen TV
in the living room was the only sound in the apartment.

“Where’s Mimi?”
I asked, furrowing my brows and scanning the large, open apartment.

“She went to get groceries. I made us coffee.” He nodded at the seat with the other mug in front of it and I walked over hesitantly.

“Thanks. I brought some muffins. I could make you some eggs instead, I know that’s what you usually have—”

“A muffin would be great. Thanks.”

As I reached across the table to sit in front of him, he pulled out his wallet and handed me a gold credit card.

“You’re on the account now. Don’t spend your own money on stuff like this, okay?”

“What, the muffins? Ryke—”

“Just take the card and use it, Kate.”

“I’m not taking your credit card!” I slid it back to him.

“You’ll need it, if you’re taking care of things for me.” He pushed it back my way.

“I can keep receipts and you can reimburse me. You can’t just hand out your credit card. I could charge up all kinds of stuff on here and you wouldn’t even know.”

“I’m not worried about it. Th
ere’s a $50,000 limit, so you can’t buy a villa with it or anything.”

Oh, right. Chump change. I shook my head.

“Fine,” I said, giving him a sulk as I took the card. “But I’m still saving all the receipts.”

“You’ll need it today,” he said,
taking a sip of his coffee. “The dinner I have Friday night is just for the team owner and some of the players, but then we have a charity event Saturday night that I’ll need you for.”

I knew I was gawking at him, but he’d caught me off-guard. “This Saturday? What if I already have plans?”

“Do you?”

I was a bad liar, and I felt guilty about fabricating plans to avoid him last Saturday night. “No.”

“Great. Get yourself some nice dresses and shoes and all that. We’ll have these things often, so buy as much as you want.”

I was still gawking. “So I’m the
Pretty Woman
?” I grumbled.

“You’re very pretty, yes.” He winked and smiled.

“You know what I mean, Ryke. I feel kind of like a prostitute right now.”

He set his mug on the table so hard a little coffee splashed onto the wood surface. “How have I made you feel like a prostitute? I haven’t even touched you.”

“Just . . . with the
here’s my credit card, go buy yourself something pretty for this thing
.”

His smile of amusement just made me more flustered. “What would you prefer, Kate?”

“Honestly, I’d prefer to spend Saturday night eating Chinese takeout in my sweats and catching up with the
Real Housewives
.”

“It’s a very fancy event.” His tone was full of disbelief. “There’ll be amazing food and famous people
. What girl wouldn’t want to get all dressed up for something like that?”

“I’m not like other women. I don
’t get stars in my eyes over stuff like that anymore. And I sure as hell don’t like being
told
what to do. Why don’t you just go shopping and pick out the dress?”

Where had that come from? I’d ev
en surprised myself with my outburst. Ryke sat back in his chair, looking rebuked. I was going to get fired. I’d have to return some of the money since I hadn’t even worked a week. Big problem, since I’d used almost half of it to repay Mom.

“You’re right, Kate.” Hi
s voice was quiet as he stroked the hair on his face that was becoming a beard. “Will you be my date to a charity event Saturday night?”

I just stared at him for a sec
ond. “Um . . . sure. But I’ll wear something I already have. I don’t want you buying clothes for me.”

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Alright.”

I told myself I’d miss the
Real Housewives
, but my heart was pounding at the thought of an evening out with Ryke, and I didn’t think it was just because I was nervous.

***

I stared at the letters lined up on the Scrabble board, considering my options as my hand made its way into the bowl of people puppy chow over and over. I was spending Friday night with Mom, Dale and my favorite snack, which was still a little warm since I’d just made it.

“Wait a minute!” I looked across the kitchen table at Dale, scrunching my brows together. “
Did you just make ‘Q-I’? That’s not a word.”

“It is, actually.” His face was expressionless but I saw smugness in his eyes.

I cocked my head at him. “What’s it mean?”

“It’s Chinese life force.”

“I thought foreign words weren’t allowed.” I arched my brows at him.

“It’s in the dictionary.”

I bit into an extra chocolatey piece of cereal and enjoyed it before I spoke again. “This is bullshit. It’s impossible to beat an English teacher at Scrabble. We’re playing Monopoly next Friday night.”

“Kate.” Mom rolled her eyes at me. “Don’t be such a sore loser.”

I was in third place, and I did hate to lose. My cell phone buzzed inside my pocket as I played ‘plan’ for a paltry 12 points.

“You want a soda, Kate?” Dale asked as he walked to the fridge. “Lynn?”

“I’ll take a Sprite,” I said, not recognizing the number on the screen of my phone.

“Hello?”

“Kate. Hi. It’s Quinn.”

My hand froze with a powdered sugar-coated piece of cereal halfway up to my mouth. What the hell? My stomach twisted as I remembered the last time we’d spoken.