Bouncing (31 page)

“Britain, what’s going on here?” her mother demanded.

Brit dropped her jaw as she noticed her mother taking it all in—the candles, the lunch tray beside the bed, the woman in the bed beside her.

“Get dressed, Britain. I’ll be in the living room,” she said, and she turned around and walked back through the doorway.

“Oh, fuck,” Brit said as she collapsed back into the pillows.

Alex sat up and turned to face Brit. Her concern was evident in the creased eyes and pursed lips, and Brit could hear Alex’s voice wavering, too. “How could this happen to me twice in one lifetime?” Alex asked.

“I think you got off easy last time.”

“Just tell her I came over to keep you company. I brought you food,” she suggested.

Brit sighed as she slipped from the bed and reached and pulled some clothes from her dresser. She turned to face Alex, who was also dressing. “You can stay in here if you’d like.”

Alex shook her head. “And let you face the executioner alone? Never. We’re in this together.”

She found a measure of comfort in knowing that, but it wasn’t enough to erase the fear that gripped her. But they dressed and then Alex followed her to the living room. Her mom had claimed the recliner but sat on its edge, anything but relaxed. Her sister Jordan was leaning against the wall near the kitchen, silently watching.

“Hi, Jordy,” Brit said as she offered a feeble smile.

“Hey, sis.” Jordan didn’t even attempt to smile.

Brit sat on the couch and Alex walked past her before sitting, erecting a barrier between Brit and her mother. Brit tried to picture her mother taking on Alex, pushing her back onto the couch and attacking her. Somehow she knew Alex wouldn’t fight back. Fortunately, Joan Dodge was much too dignified to throw punches. She battled with words.

“Mom, you remember Alex,” she said by way of breaking the ice.

A half smile appeared on her mother’s face, and Brit knew it was only a gesture to maintain appearances. Her mother was scrambling, and keeping to routine as much as possible would help her regain the control she thought she’d lost. Brit knew her so well, knew how she manipulated people—herself included—and she was so tired of it all.

“Yes, of course. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Alex.”

Alex nodded but didn’t smile. “Merry Christmas.”

This is anything but merry, Brit thought as she pondered how to handle her mother. She spared Brit by taking charge, as she always did.

The smile faded as she pierced Brit with her dark eyes. “Britain, I demand to know what’s going on here! I thought you were sick!”

Brit returned her mother’s steely gaze and knew she understood the meaning of the bedroom scene. She also knew her mother well enough to know she could deny it and convince her mother she’d been mistaken. Her mother didn’t really want to know the truth; she just wanted a reasonable story she could live with. She’d accept whatever ridiculous tale Brit told her to explain why she was spending Christmas Day half-naked in bed with Alex. It would be much easier to accept a lie than to accept her daughter’s sexuality.

One little lie. That’s all she needed to make it all go away. Brit looked from her mother to Alex, not even bothering to gaze in her sister’s direction. Jordan was suspiciously quiet, and Brit didn’t intend to complicate matters even more by dragging her into the conversation.

Her mother’s look was expectant—hopeful, even. Brit could just imagine her thoughts.
Please tell me something plausible to take away this fear I have about why you’ve never dated a single one of the many handsome young men I’ve hand-picked for you.
Brit looked to Alex. It had been only a month, but she could read Alex pretty well, too.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Brit. Do what you have to. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.

Brit didn’t seem to have a drop of saliva left in her mouth, in spite of the fact that she’d swallowed half a dozen times as she tried to speak. And then her mother must have sensed her fears and decided that perhaps forgetting the entire episode and avoiding a conversation might be the more prudent course of action. “Britain, pack your bags. I’m taking you home. You need to rest and spend some time with your family.”

Now Brit knew she had to say something—to one or the other of them. Her mom was squirming on the chair. Alex looked resigned to the idea that she’d spend the rest of the day alone.

Brit swallowed again and then turned to her sister. “Jordy, would you get us some water, please?” Then she slid over on the couch so that her leg was nearly touching Alex’s. Her mother might have thought she was moving closer to her, but Alex sat a little taller and placed her hand on Brit’s back for support. Alex knew, and it only made Brit that much more confident about what she had to say. She finally had to say the words. As much as she loved her family, she had a right to live her life with the woman she loved.

“Mom, I’m not going home with you. I’m spending the day with Alex.” Brit looked from her mom to Alex and back again. “I’m in love with her, Mom.”

Joan sat forward and waved a dismissive hand in their general direction. “What? That’s ridiculous! Pack your things right now, Britain!”

Brit leaned forward just a little and locked eyes with her mother. The anger and fear she saw was startling, but it didn’t deter her. Alex’s hand on her back was fortifying. “Mom, I’m a lesbian. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but it’s true. I wanted to spend this day with my lover, so I lied to you because I didn’t want to ruin your holiday by telling you the truth.”

“So you ruined my holiday this way, instead.”

Brit accepted the water offered by her sister and took a sip, then leaned back into the couch. “That wasn’t my intent. But I know how much you guys love me, so I should have figured you’d come over. Did you bring food?”

Her mother stood and stabbed a finger in Brit’s direction. “How dare you make light of this! I’m giving you one more chance to come home, and if you don’t take it, I’m not sure what the consequences will be, but I can assure you, there will be consequences!”

Brit didn’t stand. She didn’t have the energy, and worried her legs would give out if she tried. Instead she leaned farther into the cushions of her couch and looked at her mom and her sister. She knew this would be their reaction. She’d always known it, which was precisely why she’d never come out to them. But going home with them wouldn’t change the fact that she was gay and in love with Alex.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Mom. I really am. But I’m not going home with you.”

Her mother didn’t waste her energy on a good-bye and didn’t even look Alex’s way before she hurried through the door.

“Call me later,” Jordan whispered. It was the first thing she’d said since exchanging hellos, and Brit knew she’d been right to keep this information from her sister as well. She hadn’t come to Brit’s defense; she’d simply stood silently by as her mother threatened her and then ran out the door behind her.

Shifting slightly, Alex turned and silently wrapped her arms around Brit, pulling her closer. Brit had a vague sense of Alex’s presence, heard mumbling words and felt suddenly warmer, but she couldn’t seem to focus on what was happening around her. Her mind was occupied with her mother’s parting words.
I can assure you, there will be consequences!
Brit had no doubt there would be, and understanding her mother as she did, Brit feared those consequences would not only affect her, but everyone else she loved as well.

Her father! She should call him, warn him. Tell him the truth, before her mother did. She found her phone in the kitchen, and sat beside Alex on the couch just as he answered the call. “How’s the head?” he asked.

Brit sighed. “It’s fine. I’m calling to tell you something. Can you talk?”

“Yes, of course. What is it?”

Brit could hear the concern in his voice. “Daddy, I lied about the headache. I, I just wanted to have some time away, because I met someone special.” She paused, gathering her courage. This was so hard, and she wished she wasn’t telling him over the phone. “Someone I really care about, and I…”

His voice boomed when he interrupted her. “Britain! Do you finally have a boyfriend?”

“No, Dad. I finally have a girlfriend.”

There was a pause as he cleared his throat. Brit could imagine him sitting down, or collapsing onto the floor.

“Dad?”

“I don’t understand, Brit. Are you saying you’re a lesbian?”

Brit closed her eyes as she clutched the phone. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry to tell you like this, but Mom just stormed out of here and I didn’t want you to hear it from her first.”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Brit laughed and wiped away a tear. “Not really, but I will be. She’s pretty upset right now, though. I think I ruined Christmas.”

“Nonsense. I’ll deal with your mother. What can I do for you?” he asked.

“Just deal with Mom. Maybe you can calm her down, and in a few days maybe I can talk to her.”

“I’ll take care of it. You take care of you, okay?”

Trying very hard not to cry, Brit disconnected the phone and snuggled into Alex’s arms. She focused on the Christmas tree, then on one tiny ornament. It was a mouse, resting in a hammock laced with Christmas lights, and had been added to her tree from Alex’s collection. To Brit it represented Alex—so laid-back and calm. Nothing like the other woman who’d dominated her life, yet just as strong, and so much nicer.

I can do this! Brit thought. I can. I want Alex, I need Alex, I love Alex, and I can get through this crisis, because Alex is the prize I win if I manage to navigate this obstacle course. And what a prize! She was everything Brit could have hoped for, and for the first time in her life everything was perfect. It had been, anyway, until a few minutes ago, when her mother had forced her to make the most difficult choice of her life.

And she’d chosen Alex. She’d chosen to be herself. No matter how difficult, her choice had been the right one. It had been the only one, really, because she couldn’t keep lying and running and hiding the truth. She’d said the word
lesbian
to her mother, and while she was sure her mother had never said the word herself, she certainly understood its meaning. And now she understood that her daughter defined herself in that way, and Brit could do nothing to change that.

The only direction to move was forward, so she took a deep breath and put on her game face. “Let’s get a shower, Alex,” she said. “I don’t want to be late for dinner.”

An hour later, they were seated beside a roaring fire in the Daltons’ expansive living room. Frank poured a cocktail for himself and his wife, a beer for his daughter, and a malbec for Brit. This was their first appearance at the Daltons’ since Thanksgiving, and Brit found them just as friendly and inviting as they’d been on the last visit. Alex made a point of taking her in through the front door to show off the landscaping adorned with lights and a replica of Santa’s sleigh sitting on the lawn. And her parents made a point of greeting them at the door, offering hugs even before taking their coats.

“So, Brit, can you give me the inside scoop on the holiday tournament? I want to bet on the game, and my daughter is very scarce with details.”

“Isn’t that like insider trading?” Brit asked.

“I can see why you two get along so well,” he said in a teasing tone. “Seriously, it should be a great tournament. All of the teams are well balanced, and when you add the element of bloodlust you see with these rivalries, anything can happen.”

“I think you’re right. Our girls are very excited, and they’re going to leave it all on the floor. I’d bet on us.”

He grinned from ear to ear. “I will.”

“You will what?” Liz asked as she walked across the room and set two trays on the coffee table. One held a cheese board with half a dozen varieties as well as grapes, almonds, and fig jam. The other was piled with stuffed mushrooms.

“Bet on Alex’s team.”

Liz shook her head disapprovingly as she took her drink and sat beside Alex. “How was your holiday so far?” She looked from Alex to Brit.

Alex winked at Brit and saved her from answering. “Brit and I always have a great time together, Mom. But we’ve been so busy with practice and games I think we just needed a little down time. We slept in and watched some movies.”

Liz lovingly rubbed Alex’s arm. “I’m glad you got some rest.”

Brit was amazed by the interaction between them. Alex had just told her mother she’d spent a late morning in Brit’s bed, and her mom was happy for her. Why couldn’t all mothers be like Liz Dalton? Or, at least, why couldn’t her mom?

Winners and Losers

P.J. jumped up in anticipation as Kelsey battled for a rebound and then squeezed her body through a pack of defenders. He pumped his fist to the heavens as the ball fell through the net. He joined the entire student section, jumping up and down, cheering wildly as their team came from behind to tie the score. So much noise filled the gym that the referee’s whistle was useless, and he watched the woman gesturing to learn the call.

“Yes!” he shouted. “And one!” The students cheered as the official dropped her arm, her second finger pointing down to indicate Kelsey had been fouled on the shot.

He looked at the scoreboard. Four seconds left in the third overtime period. Score tied, ninety-four, ninety-four. Kelsey on the line, shooting one foul shot to win the game. It didn’t get any more exciting than this, and two thousand fans at the Lackawanna College Student Union showed their team spirit. Half of them were screaming and half were biting their nails, but all of them had seen a great game.

The opposing coach called a time-out, and the noise level in the gym grew even louder.

P.J. looked around the sea of students. They were packed into the gym, but no one seemed to mind. He searched for one face in the crowd and found it. Justina was a few rows down from him, sitting with her friends, but he noticed she spent as much time turned around looking at him as she did watching the action on the court. Maybe she still liked him after all. The thought made him smile. All of his old friends were at the game, too. They’d all caught Falcon Fever.