Boss (28 page)

Ezra stood at the back of
St. John of Jerusalem Church
. He didn’t know anybody and Joshua and Levi were squashed up at the front after Joshua walked her down the aisle. He caught Joshua motioning for him to join him at the front but he pretended not to notice.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the vicar announced triumphantly to rapturous applause.

Ezra joined in and watched as Christopher wrapped his hands around Violet’s face. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place but Ezra’s mind was far from the wedding in front of him. He had been stood in this very church three times before. Once for his own wedding, once for his daughter’s christening and once for his daughter’s funeral.

The anniversary is tomorrow.

He wiped away a tear, hiding it behind a fake smile for the happy bride and groom. After a quick photo opportunity, Joshua hurried to the back of the church with a tissue clamped in his hand.

“I can’t believe I’m crying,” he laughed, “you should have come and sat at the front with me!”

“It’s not really my place,” Ezra shrugged off his emotions.

“You’re my plus one,” he said.

Before they could take it any further, the guests started to empty into the church’s tiny porch and nobody seemed ready to go outside without the bride and groom.

A middle-aged woman spotted Joshua and headed straight for him. Without even asking, Ezra could tell she was a Silverton. Her long hair was greying but he could imagine it being bright blonde in her youth.

“You came!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Joshua’s neck.

“Auntie Jackie, I’ve been in London all month,” he laughed as they hugged.

Jackie? Ezra had heard all about Jackie. She was Bill Silverton’s sister but their sibling bond didn’t stretch beyond cards on birthdays and phone calls at Christmas. Bill never had a nice word to say about her and just like Joshua, it was one of those unspoken topics.

“And you haven’t been to visit me?” she held his shoulders as she looked him over from head to toe, “I can’t believe it’s you. You look so different. The hair! You need that cut!”

There was a twinkle of Bill Silverton in her voice and it made Ezra laugh. It seemed that the Silverton family were all so much alike, which was starting to explain why they all seemed to fight so much.

She looped her arm around Joshua’s and they slowly walked with the crowd outside, with Ezra trailing behind. Violet posed with her new husband outside the church and Ezra couldn’t shake the feeling that he had seen Christopher somewhere before. He was handsome and worked in the city so he knew it was likely they had probably had a conversation at a meeting or a conference.
I hope I haven’t fucked him…

“Ezra,” Violet motioned for him to join them, “get in.”

“Oh,” he stepped back, “It’s okay, I’m -,”

“Ezra?” Auntie Jackie wrinkled her nose, “I know that name from -,”

“C’mon,” Joshua nodded, less enthusiastically, “just one photo.”

Reluctantly, he tagged onto the end of the family photograph. Joshua slipped his arm around his waist and he did the same. The photographer snapped, checked the picture and then snapped again. When they were done, Ezra was about to walk out of the shot when Violet spoke.

“Let’s get one of these two together,” Violet pushed Ezra and Joshua into the middle of the shot, “back off, Mum.”

Christopher and Jackie stepped back, leaving Joshua and Ezra to stand awkwardly next to each other. He could feel the eyes of the guests watching them, wondering who they were to each other. It didn’t bother Ezra as much as he could feel it was bothering Joshua.

“Get close,” Violet laughed, “you look so great together. You’re going to die when you see it.”

Ezra looked to Joshua who was trying to smile but he couldn’t hide his nerves, “Let’s just do it and it’ll be over in a heartbeat.”

His words seemed to calm Joshua and they looped their arms around each other’s waists for the photograph. By the third shot, Ezra felt Joshua relax in his arms and Ezra surprised himself by enjoying it.

“Are you two -,” Jackie pointed to them both, with shock bright in her wrinkled eyes.

“Leave it out, Mum,” Violet nudged her, “you look great.”

As they all started heading towards their cars, Ezra and Joshua hung back. Ezra wasn’t sure why he needed to do this now but the urge was overwhelming.

“I need to know where we stand,” Ezra said quietly, “are you leaving London, because if you are, I’d rather know now.”

He hadn’t wanted the words to sound so abrasive but they did. Nerves built up in him as Joshua chewed the sides of his fingers.

“I don’t know yet,” he sighed in frustration.

“Can you figure it out?” Ezra rested his hand on Joshua’s arm, “I’m just going to say this -,”

He stopped to take a deep breath. Joshua was looking at him and his eyes were saying ‘
you really don’t need to do this now
’ but Ezra knew if he didn’t, he was going to lose something.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he said, “I want you to stay.”

Joshua’s eyes darted to the ground and his hands disappeared into his hair. Violet called for him but he ignored her. Ezra just needed an answer.

“Now isn’t the time,” Joshua mumbled and headed off to his cousin.

He watched as Joshua ran off towards Violet, annoyed that he had even brought it up. For a moment in that photograph, despite all of the eyes watching them, he had felt so relaxed and happy in a place he associated with such sadness and heartbreak. Joshua had the ability to clear his mind just with his presence and he wasn’t afraid to admit that anymore. He had spent so many years not allowing himself to get emotionally close to anybody, torturing his heart because of the guilt he could never shake. And then, Joshua fell into his world and even though he was there to rip it to shreds, Ezra knew there was something real there.

“You coming?” Violet called to him.

He told her he would meet her at the reception in one of the other cars but as Ezra headed towards the graveyard, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do.

As they all stood in the gorgeous grounds of
Kenwood House
, Joshua frantically searched the crowd for Ezra.

“Have you seen Ezra?” he asked Violet and she shook her head.

“Maybe he’s inside? Have you seen my husband?”

Joshua returned the favour and shook his head before heading towards the huge stately home Violet had chosen for her wedding reception. He had known Violet would pick something completely outrageous to balance out the tiny church in Hackney but she had truly outdone herself.

As he walked along the gravel outside the white brick, three-story mansion he checked his phone hoping to see something from Ezra.

No New Notifications.

Dammit!

Leaving the bright sunshine, he ducked into the house. The staff were all frantically running around with flowers and food as they prepared the wedding breakfast but he couldn’t see Ezra among them.

“Christopher!” he cried when he saw him ducking out of a room on the phone, “Have you seen Ezra?”

“Your boyfriend?” he smirked, holding his hand out to shake Joshua’s for what felt like the tenth time that day, “Can’t say I have.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” he quickly replied, “your wife’s looking for you.”

Christopher pushed his phone into the inside pocket of his suit. He was everything he had expected him to be, which was the total opposite of what he expected Violet to marry. When they had been teenagers, somebody like Ezra’s brother, Felix, would have been her type. A scruffy, skinny skater with baggy band t-shirts and a cannabis problem.

“I had to sort something out,” he said with defensiveness in his voice, “some of my dad’s side have got wind of the wedding. Apparently they saw us at the church and they’re pissed off that we didn’t invite them.”

From the sharpness of his suit, Joshua had almost forgot that Christopher, like Ezra, was raised on the rough streets of Hackney. Unlike Ezra, there was very little of that left in his voice.

“It was my mum who insisted we have it at that church. ‘
Honour your roots
’ she kept saying. When your roots are drunks and criminals, it’s better to forget them, don’t you think?”

“Hmm,” Joshua looked beyond Christopher when he saw a man who looked like Ezra, but wasn’t, “you inviting them?”

“Oh, no,” he laughed, “they would turn up in their tracksuits with cans of
Stella
. Can you imagine? Your boyfriend, Ezra, do I know him from somewhere? His face is so familiar.”

“He works in the city,” Joshua offered, “and he’s not my boyfriend.”

Christopher nodded and winked, “Maybe that’s where I know him from.”

He didn’t sound convinced but Joshua wasn’t concerned about Christopher’s lapse in memory.

“I better find him,” Joshua looked around at the grand entrance, “I have a feeling I’m fucking everything up.”

“Commitment issues?” Christopher asked.

Was that what it was? Joshua wasn’t sure what he was scared of anymore. Was he more scared of committing or just scared of making the wrong decision?

“Something like that,” he offered, itching to get away.

“Listen, if I tell you something, do you promise not to tell your cousin?” Joshua’s stomach twisted but he nodded, knowing that he would tell Violet if she needed to know, “I didn’t need to take this business trip so close to the wedding.”

“So why did you?” he felt a little anger bubble up inside because he knew how difficult Violet had found the planning alone, even if she had pretended everything was under control.

“I love Violet, don’t get me wrong,” he held his hands up, quickly back tracking, “but there was a voice in the back of my mind trying to trick me. It was telling me I wasn’t ready for marriage, so when I was offered the business trip, I took it and -,”

Joshua couldn’t help himself, “So, while you were away sunning yourself in Dubai, Violet was here, planning your wedding on her own.”

“Don’t,” he waved his hands, “I feel terrible about it already. Just, let me finish.”

Taking a deep breath, Joshua nodded and readied himself for whatever excuse his new cousin-in-law was about to give him.

“I was scared of settling down. I think every man is at this age. We’ve been together for years and I love her with all of my heart but I was just scared of marriage. The idea of committing and making the wrong decision terrified me. I’d wake up in the night, dreading it and the closer it got, the more excited she got and the worse I felt. I was stringing her along, knowing that I was so unsure.”

“What changed?” he folded his arms tight across his chest, ready to punch him if he needed to.

“I got to Dubai and I thought I was going to have the three weeks to think things over but I realised something two days in. I realised that I loved your cousin so much and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. How could I not marry her? It’s not that I didn’t want to be with her, I was just scared about all of the stuff that came with it. The future is so scary but I realised that the second I stopped worrying about things I couldn’t control, my mind cleared and I knew I needed to marry that girl. Of course, I had to actually work out there, so I couldn’t come back but I knew when I did, it was the beginning of a new chapter.”

Christopher’s words triggered something within Joshua. The missing piece of the jigsaw finally slid into place and it all made sense. In that moment, he felt himself let go of everything. He stopped worrying about all of the things that were holding him back. He stopped worrying about letting his father down and he stopped worrying about letting Levi down.

“Christopher,” Joshua shook his hand again, “I need to go. Thank you.”

He turned and pulled his phone out of his pocket, ready to call Ezra but he didn’t need to. He was standing there in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with his usual arrogant swagger.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Christopher winked and slid through the gap in the door, eyeing Ezra curiously as he went.

“Ezra, I -,”

“I was at the graveyard,” he stepped forwards, “and I almost didn’t come here. I feel like you’re playing me -,”

Joshua silenced Ezra with one finger.

“Ask me the question again,” Joshua exhaled deeply, a shaky smile forming, “ask me what you asked outside the church.”

Ezra’s brow furrowed and he looked down at Joshua’s finger, almost shocked that he had let himself be silenced mid-sentence.

“Are you going to stay in London?” there was exhaustion in his voice.

“Yes,” Joshua said firmly, “I’m staying.”

Instead of smiling, Ezra stepped back and furrowed his brow even more. He stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets and assessed Joshua.

“Why?”

“Because I want to,” he said, “I think I’ve found something here that I’ve never had before.”

It was hard to say and hard to admit but it did the trick. Ezra stepped forward and snatched at the lapels on Joshua’s suit and pulled him in. The hum and rushing footsteps stopped as their lips met. Their stubble grated together as Ezra’s tongue quickly slipped into his mouth.

“I think we should go upstairs,” Ezra whispered, his forehead pressed against Joshua’s and their lips barely parting, “before I fuck you on this floor.”

Joshua didn’t need telling twice. With Ezra’s hand in his, he headed straight for the grand staircase. They scrambled up the stairs and headed for the first room with a bed they could find.

When they were inside, they looked into each other’s eyes for a brief moment before letting the passion take over. With fumbling fingers, they quickly undressed each other, fiercely kissing every chance they got. Joshua didn’t want to think, he just wanted to feel. He wanted to feel Ezra.

He ripped open Ezra’s shirt, bursting most of the buttons. Pushing Ezra against the door, he started to kiss his chest but Ezra’s fingers clutched his hair and dragged him back up to his lips. Ezra dragged him over to the bed and pushed him onto the red petal covered sheets.

Ezra looked down at him with eyes that said ‘
I’m going to fuck you so hard
’ as he quickly fumbled to take off his trousers. Joshua looked out of the huge window and he could see a mass of white fabric surrounded by a growing crowd. He couldn’t think about how angry Violet was going to be that he had vanished.

“Take them off,” Ezra pulled at Joshua’s trousers.

Without even undoing the belt, he ripped them down to his ankles but before he could take them off fully, Ezra dove on him, still in his open shirt and jacket. His tie hung loose as he kissed Joshua with a fire he had never felt before.

“Turn around,” Ezra’s deep growl tickled Joshua’s ear.

He rolled onto his front, constricted by the trousers and underwear fighting against his shoes. Rose petals stuck to his face but he didn’t think about them. He heard Ezra spit and he was soon feeling Ezra’s finger exploring him with so much more force than he was used to.

Ezra hit the right spot and Joshua moaned so loudly, Ezra pushed his face into the sheets. He wanted to tell Ezra how much he wanted him but he couldn’t find the words to speak.

He heard the sound of spitting again and there was a pause as he imagined Ezra covering his cock. Silence fell on the room and all Joshua could hear was the pounding of his heart.

There was no taking it slow this time. Ezra forced his cock into Joshua, ignoring the cries of pain that came from his throat. He struggled for breath as Ezra started fast and he was only getting faster.

He felt Ezra’s fingernails dip into his cheeks, raw and hard. A quick slap and he sped up even faster. It was so fast and passionate, any pain Joshua felt was quickly blinded by the euphoria and urgency he felt. His cock pushed against the rose petals and silk sheets, feeling ready to blow at any moment.

Ezra’s chest leaned against Joshua’s back. His hand found his hair again and he gripped it, twisting Joshua’s head to the side. With a delicacy that contrasted against what was going on below, Ezra softly brushed the hair out of Joshua’s face. Their lips pressed together as their eyes clenched and their cheeks pressed hotly.

He wanted to say something meaningful in the moment but his mind was clear of words.
Feel, don’t think
.

He felt Ezra fucking him harder than he thought he could be fucked. He felt himself enjoying the feeling more than he thought he could. He felt the relief as the weight of everything lifted off his shoulders.

“Ezra -,” he mumbled through the kiss.

“Mmmhmmm?” Ezra was reluctant to stop kissing him.

“Ezra, I want you to know,” he panted through the forceful kissing, “that I’m staying for you. For us.”

Ezra’s kisses grew even harder, deeper and more passionate, somehow. His arms slid along the silk sheets and under Joshua’s chest. The harder and faster he kissed, the harder and faster he fucked.

The kisses stopped, and Ezra’s lips pressed against Joshua’s ear. He could hear every pant and every groan as his body turned rigid against him.

Ezra stopped, deep inside. A throaty growl escaped his lips and his body jerked. Joshua felt every inch of Ezra’s orgasm so much, he didn’t feel the need for his own but Ezra had other ideas. He pulled out and flipped Joshua over to slam his mouth around Joshua’s solid shaft.

It only took a couple of seconds for Joshua to join Ezra in that bliss. They collapsed next to each other on the bed and they stared up at the patterned ceiling surrounded by roses.

Ezra’s fingers tenderly looped into Joshua’s and his thumb started to stroke the back of his hand. It was a small gesture but it held so much weight. It was a thank you and for once, Joshua didn’t feel like he was going to regret a decision he had made.

“Violet is going to slaughter me,” Joshua peeled a rose petal off his cheek, “we’re in the honeymoon suite, aren’t we?”

“Yep,” Ezra laughed, “I think we are.”

As they both laughed, he rolled on Joshua and then kissed through the laughter. He knew he should have been helping his cousin celebrate her happy day but he felt like he had finally found the slice of happiness he had always knew he could have.

“Ezra -,” he whispered.