Born Twice (Vintage International) (21 page)

Some people recognize him and say hello. He’ll stop and lean against the wall, always glad to chat. I can tell that some people treat him like a child, the same people who treat children like idiots and who ultimately put themselves on an equal footing. He is capable of saying things that these people wouldn’t even begin to understand, but he limits himself to smiling back at them.

People who see him for the first time are not always satisfied with one glimpse. They have to stop and turn around and look at him closer. He knows it when they do; I think he walks off with a pained expression. But maybe not, maybe he’s just being careful. He’s used to being watched. It’s me who’s relentless. It’s my face with the pained expression. That’s what unites us, from a distance.

Sometimes I shut my eyes and then quickly open them again. Who’s that boy walking unsteadily near the wall? I’ve never seen him before. He’s disabled. I try to think about what my life would have been like without him in it, but I can’t. We can think of many lives, but we can never disavow our own.

Once, when I was watching him as if he were someone else and I were someone else, he waved at me. He leaned up against the wall and smiled. For a moment it was as if we were meeting for the very first time.

FIRST VINTAGE INTERNATIONAL EDITION, OCTOBER 2003

Translation copyright
©
2002 by Alfred A. Knopf,

a division of Random House, Inc.

Vintage is a registered trademark and Vintage International and colophon are
trademarks of Random House, Inc.

The Library of Congress has cataloged the Knopf edition as follows:
Pontiggia, Giuseppe, 1934–
[Nati due volte. English]
Born twice / by Giuseppe Pontiggia ; translated from the Italian by Oonagh
Stransky.—
1. American ed.
p. cm.

eISBN : 978-0-307-42508-9

I. Stransky, Oonagh. II. Title.
PQ4876.O53 N3713 2002
853’.914—dc21
2002016259

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