Born of Fire: The Dawn of Legend (45 page)

“Maybe the side of yourself that you’re really keeping a closely guarded secret is the thoughtful and genuinely compassionate person that I’ve come to know.”

“Now you’re just lying to my face,” he said with a cross look.

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“I disagree,” she said, leaning forward.

“Give me one instance where I was any of those things you mentioned.”

“The day LyCora arrived in KaNar,” she replied, leaning back in her chair. “My father told me what you said after I ran out of the tavern.”

“Exactly, I snapped at everyone.”

“Because they did not come to my defense in a way that you thought was adequate, and so you took it upon yourself to take a stand on my behalf. It was very heroic and sweet,” she added with a smile as she reached across the table and lightly squeezed his hand. “Not only that, but you chased after me in the rain, just to make sure I was all right.”

“Anyone would have done that.”

“And yet you were the only one who did.” Rex snorted in defiance, unwilling to look her in the eye. Truth be told, he was feeling incredibly awkward and unsettled. He never meant to be deemed the heroic type, nor was he one for labels.

“I just followed my instincts,” he said at last, still refusing to look up. “It’s not like I really thought about it, it just happened that way.”

“All the more proof that you’re a good and valiant person. Your first instinct was to come to my rescue. What more proof do I need?”

Rex finally looked at her yet remained silent. He did not know who or what he really felt like anymore. He had never fancied himself a hero or gone out of his way to defend others. The few times he had almost always ended in disaster. So he decided that other people were just enemies waiting to declare themselves as such. Or at least that is what he had always told himself. So why did he chase after her on that stormy afternoon? Why not just sit back and let things unfold as they might? What concern had it been of his, after all? Quite a great deal, he now worried.

A good twenty minutes passed with neither one of them exchanging another word. Rex heard low, heavy breathing coming from across the table. He looked up and saw DiNiya with her face buried in her arms on the table, sound asleep. She had apparently dozed off. Standing as quietly as he could, he grabbed one of three heavy coats hanging from hooks by the door and draped it gently over her.

He then silently glided out of the kitchen back upstairs, where he sensed something off-putting yet familiar hanging in the air. It was not something he could describe, but he knew it was there. Like a predator trailing the scent of its prey, he began to follow it until he came to the door that led to the landing overlooking KaNar. Gently he pulled open the doors and made his way upstairs, where he was surprised to find LyCora sitting in silence, surveying the majesty of KaNar.

“So you found me, I see,” she said without turning.

“I didn’t even realize I was looking for you,” he replied while allowing the doors to close behind him.

“That’s your problem,” she continued on in her dry tone. “You never think, only react.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he said, walking slowly towards her, where he stopped just behind and stared out at the pristine vista. “Lately, it seems all I do is a lot of thinking. Maybe even a little too much.”

“You can never think too much.”

“Is that so? Hmm. I got the impression that’s another one of the many quirks we share.”

“We share nothing in common, Rex. Do you understand? Nothing.”

Rex just nodded silently, not taking his eyes off the land below. “We are two different kinds of people. I’ll give you that. But we both have the same problem.” LyCora turned and looked up at him with a face that seemed to beg for further clarification, but she was too proud to just come out and ask. “We are outsiders. We don’t want to be, but we feel that it’s lowering ourselves to admit it to the people we want most to be accepted by.”

“Where do you come up with these things?” she said, turning back around. “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.”

“Commendable, if it were true. But at the end of the day, there’s no logical reason why we can’t just let the past be the past and move forward with the people we have with us now.”

“So go ahead,” she said dismissively. “Move forward. They all love you down there, after all, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

“No harder than it would be for you,” he countered.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me. You have no idea what it’s like to be treated—”

“Different? Are you being serious right now?” She turned and saw him allowing the red flame to burn from his eyes before letting it subside. “You of all people here should know that I just don’t get a free pass because I’m SaVarian. No, I think my red eyes alone make some people here more unsettled by my mere presence than they ever did back in that other place.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, you, for starters,” he said with a laugh. “You give me grief every chance you get, and for what? Something that happened between you and DiNiya a long time ago.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand. Tell me what happened on that day that makes me have to pay for it with you every day of mine since I showed up.”

LyCora looked as if she was about to say something, but then just stopped. “I can’t.”

“Liar!”

“It’s not for me to say!”

“You mean your mother told you not to?”

“So what if she did?” LyCora snapped. “What’s wrong with having a parent who cares about you and looks out for you? Someone who goes as far as to shield you from so many of life’s disappointments? Growing up with friends your own age, only to have them turn out not to be who you thought they were, meeting your mate or making memories with people.” Tears began to run down her cheeks freely now. “Why should any of these things matter?” She suddenly broke down and buried her face in her hands before looking back up and screaming at the world, “Why couldn’t you have just let me have a normal life?”

“That’s what I thought,” Rex said in a reserved tone while sitting down next to her. “You don’t want to admit it, but you also can’t deny it. You resent your mother for the very thing you wish you could love her for.”

“I do love my mother,” she said, wiping her eyes. “She is the one person who has always been there for me, but…”

“But that’s what bothers you most, isn’t it?”

“There was a time when I got to live like a normal child. Back when I was younger. But then one day everything went wrong, everything just…fell apart. From that moment on, I had to be an adult. That’s what happens when you lose something. Someone,” she added somberly.

Rex looked at her and saw for the first time a beautiful girl whose elegant features were marred by a painful past. Rex knew that look all too well. It was the same one DiNiya had, and it was the same one he saw glaring back at him every time he dared to look in the mirror. Still, he could see the face of the girl she was supposed to have been but could not be. For once someone experiences pain that redefines their life, it prevents them from ever wanting to turn back because they know the life they had known was a lie, and that the one they now live is honest.
For better or worse
.

“So what about you?” she suddenly asked, prompting him to cast aside all retrospective thought and focus entirely on her. “If you can really read me so easily, then it means you have lost something important to you.”

Rex thought for a moment before saying, “I don’t know. I mean, I know there’s still plenty I’m not remembering, but it seems that the harder I try, the farther it pulls away from me; like the answers are trying to stay forgotten. Maybe it’s better if they stay that way.”

“No,” she said with such force that it made him jump. “You should never forget the past! If you do, it will just happen again, and you must never let it!”

“Okay, okay! I got it. So is that why you’ve taken such an interest in me?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Well, if you’re so afraid of the red flame, then why are you now helping in training it? Wouldn’t that be like sharpening the knife that’ll be used to slit your own throat?”

“A colorful analogy, but far from accurate.”

“You don’t say.”

Seeing that Rex had once again artfully guided her back to the topic she had been dodging this entire time, she decided she had no choice but to indulge him. “No matter how much I wish it, you’re not just going to go away. So I figured that if I can maybe teach you how to better harness that terrible power of yours, it will minimize the chances of it getting away from you and hurting someone. Not a perfect strategy, I know, but it helps me sleep better than I would if I knew it was being left unchecked.”

“EeNox has been working with me longer than any of you on that.”

“Yes, but that boy only knows so much about what you really need in order to be as safe as you can, given what you are.”

“And what, pray tell, is that?” Rex asked, leaning in uncomfortably close, allowing her to see his abnormally large serrated teeth and menacing red eyes.

Leaning back, she answered, “A destructive force.”

Rex sat back, clearly surprised by her answer, yet somehow understanding its meaning. “So, you think that’s my problem, do you? Self-restraint?”

“Isn’t it? Tell me it doesn’t feel like a great relief when it happens. Like a huge burden has been lifted off your shoulders.”

Rex nodded. “You’re right. That’s exactly how it feels. Every day I wake up and walk through life feeling like I’m in my own grip, and that if I let go even for a second…well, you know what happens.”

“Better than most.”

“And I think I’m starting to get an idea myself,” he said, once again fixing her with an inquiring gaze. “The fact that you even have an idea of what it feels like means you either have experienced the same thing, which we both know isn’t the case, or…you’ve seen it with your own eyes.”

“Of course I did, you fool! Don’t you remember—”

“I’m not talking about our little altercation.”

LyCora suddenly became very silent, prompting Rex to bare his unsettling toothy grin. “I’m getting closer, LyCora. The more you pull away, the faster I’ll come after you until your precious little secret is mine.”

“And there you have it,” she said with frown. Rex cocked his head inquiringly. “It’s that side of you, or maybe it is you, that I’m afraid of. You act like the bumbling brute and take everyone off their guard with wit and jest, but you never let them see this, do you?”

“I’m not following.”

“You probably don’t even realize it when it’s happening, but when it does, when the mask peels back and reveals your true face, that’s when I know that I’m not wrong for not trusting you.”

“I’m not hiding who I am,” he replied angrily. “Why would I do that? I can’t even fully remember who I am.”

“Have you ever stopped to ask why that is? Perhaps you don’t want to. Maybe it’s your way of keeping yourself and everyone else safe. Maybe, just maybe, you’re more afraid of you than I am.”

Rex drew back, allowing her words to fully sink in.
Could she be right? Have I been fooling myself this entire time? Who am I?
Now feeling unsettled, he tried to appeal to what he hoped was her more sympathetic nature. “I think that’s why I need your help more than anyone else’s.”

“Why? Why me, and why not DiNiya, for instance? She seems to legitimately feel bad for you. Why not just run back into her arms where you know you’ll be welcomed?”

“Because I need someone who will call it as they see it, not coddle me and tell me everything is going to be all right.” LyCora gave him a brief look of surprise before nodding in agreement. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything she’s done for me. She’s…my best friend, as strange as that is for me to say, but I can’t deny it anymore. She’s the only one that makes me happy, that makes me forget about what’s inside me, about what I could do if it ever got out.” He looked up at LyCora fiercely. “And that’s exactly why I need you, not her, looking out for me.”

“You think brutal honesty is going to make a difference?”

“I think a realistic perspective will. I know you won’t ever water down the truth just to spare my feelings. You’ll always tell me I’m a threat, that I’m dangerous, until the day comes when I’m not.”

“And what if that day never comes?”

“Then I’ll be happy to know I have someone there reminding me to never let my guard down.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” she said resolutely. “And seeing as how I don’t have any of the first, that just leaves you.”

“Tell me you won’t sleep better at night knowing that I’m not out there somewhere in the dark, waiting to go off.”

“No, instead you’ll be in the next room over, putting me at ground zero if you do.” Rex frowned while LyCora closed her eyes and let out a long and heavy sigh. “All right, Rex. You win. We’ll do it your way.”

“Really?” he replied, sounding surprised.

LyCora nodded in return. “You make a compelling argument. One based on logic and fact and one I can’t ignore. Besides, if I fail, if any of us fail to help you master yourself, then I doubt there’s anyone on EeNara who will be safe from you. After all, if you’re going to die in an explosion, the best place to be is at the epicenter, quick and painless.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Just being honest with you. That’s what you wanted, remember?”

“You’re right,” he said, standing up straight. “Thank you. Shall we seal the deal in flame?” he added, raising his forearm to her. “That’s how it’s done here, isn’t it?”

LyCora looked at his arm reluctantly, afraid to allow her blue flame to come in contact with his red, afraid of what it would feel like. Not wanting to inadvertently indulge his more subversive superiority complex, she raised hers to his. A dark and unsettling surge of energy flowed from Rex into her the moment they came into contact with one another. Fighting an involuntarily shiver, she summoned her flame and burned it against his, and in doing so, breaking the promise she had made to herself four years ago when she told herself she would never come this close to the red flame ever again. The two looked into each other’s eyes, silently acknowledging their pact born of secrets and shadows.