Books by Maggie Shayne (292 page)

Holding the coverlet tight to her, refusing to face me, she answered, and her voice trembled. "Nidaba. I...I thought 'twould make you want me as I do... did you. I... 'twas before I knew, Nicodimus. 'Twas before I agreed to ... I dinna mean to ... I simply forgot what I was wearin', you see." She lowered her head. "Sweet heaven, but I've never been more ashamed."

Somehow, though shaking with desire, I managed to get to my feet. Still. I kept my distance. "You've nothing to be ashamed of, Arianna."

" 'Twas an underhanded trick I'd planned to play on you. Indeed, you must think I've no shame at all. I dinna intend—"

"I know. It is all right." But the knowledge was there ...

what she'd been planning. To seduce me in her innocent way. By the Gods, had I come to this chamber tonight instead of racing away on my horse like a fool... I closed my eyes against the desire that raged in me like fire in my blood. And still it came. Against my will, I heard myself say the words I all but bit my tongue to prevent.

"Let go the coverlet, Arianna."

She stiffened, her back to me. "What?"

"Let go the coverlet."

"But... but Nicodimus, you said you dinna want..."

"I am your husband, am I not?" I whispered. And I knew better, Gods, I knew better than to go on with this. "You wanted me to see you in this gown, and I find... I want to see you."

"I... I dinna ken you."

"I saved your life. Twice now. Do this for me. Release it, Arianna. Show yourself to me."

Her head tipping up slightly, she unfolded the coverlet in front and opened her arms, paused for just a heartbeat, and let it fall to the floor. I heard her breath catch in her throat when I whispered, "Good. Now turn 'round."

Slowly, she turned. Her chin high, and her eyes alight with too many emotions to name. Pride was there. Desire, too, and perhaps anger at my tone of command. And yet she had obeyed. I knew her too well to think she would have if she had not wanted to.

She stood still as I perused her, more thoroughly this time, slowly, feasting with my eyes on every part of her until her face was red and her breaths shallow and quick. Quicker now, as I moved foward. I was driven by sheer, base desire. My honor, along with any sense of self-preservation, and perhaps any hint of sanity, had fled me now. I only felt need. Hunger. Heat.

"How is your stomach now?" I asked her, when I stood so close I could feel every breath as she exhaled.

"It feels as if a flock of sparrows were set loose inside," she whispered.

Lifting my hands, I ran the backs of my fingers over her breasts, over her nipples. She sucked in a breath. So I

turned my hands, and used my fingers, caught the distended peaks between them, and squeezed lightly.

"Nicodimus!"

I increased the pressure until I could feel the thrum of the blood pulsing where I pinched her. Until her every breath was a whimper of longing. And then I eased it, pressed once again, eased, pinched hard, and released her.

She was breathing in short, quick little gasps. "I-I-I dinna understand ..."

"Shh-shh. You will." I slid my hands down her body, over the whisper-soft nightshift, caressing her belly, her hips, her outer thighs, then slid around to the insides of her legs, and ran my palms slowly upward again. "Part your legs for me, Arianna."

With a gasp that was half sob, she did as I said. I trailed my fingertips upward, and then over the soft mound of hair between her legs. A light touch that made her tremble. Then I parted her folds, and dragged my fingertips over the moist center of her. She released a sigh that stuttered out of her, and a soft "Oooh ..." I repeated the stroking, a little harder each time, and then I found the tiny nub, the key to her pleasure, and rubbed it hard beneath my fingertips.

Arianna shuddered, her juices wet my hand. I moved my fingers inside her, dipping and stroking, rolling and pinching that pulsing nub harder and harder between my fingers. And she threw her head back, and clutched my shoulders with her hands, and cried my name aloud. I closed my arm tight 'round her waist and held her to me when her knees would have buckled. Working her with my fingers while she shuddered in sweet release. I held her longer still, close in my arms while her body trembled, and relaxed, and her breathing eased.

"What did you do to me, husband?" she asked in a whisper.

"Lie down on the bed," I croaked, my hands on her shoulders, pushing her gently backward as I spoke, for I could not wait. I could not wait to have her. No longer.

She didn't move. Her feet planted, she lifted her head, narrowed her eyes on me. "Nay, I canna."

"You...?"

"I'll nay lie down on the bed for you, Nicodimus. For though you tell me 'tis what you want, I ken you far better than before. An' you dinna want this."

Looking down at her fiery eyes, her moist, succulent lips, I shook my head. "I want it," I told her. "And so do you."

"Nay, you're mistaken there, husband. What you did to me ... felt like heaven. But if you think mating without any love is what I want, you're sadly mistaken indeed." And firmly she closed her hands over mine, where they rested round her tiny waist, and took them away. She turned from me, snatching up the dark robe she'd discarded before, and pulling it around her like armor. Hiding herself from me.

"I cannot love you, Arianna," I told her, lowering my head. "I know you deserve more—"

"Aye, on that you are correct. I do deserve more. But the fact remains, Nicodimus, that though you vow you canna love me, I could quite easily love you. Even more madly than I already do. An' this," she said, waving a hand toward the bed. "This will only make me more likely to do just that. An' perhaps already has." She dropped her gaze as she spoke the last words on a hoarse whisper.

Pushing my hands through my hair, I turned and paced away. I couldn't look at her, look at the bed, without feeling aroused beyond what was sane. I was awash in shame for losing myself to passion and forgetting to protect my fragile little cat's tender heart. "You've the right of it."

"Aye, I do. Just as you wish to protect your heart from being broken again, Nicodimus, I must look out for my own. I'll nay surrender it to you knowin' already that you'll crush it beneath your boot heel. A fool I would be, did I do such a thing."

"And I would be a cruel bastard to ask it of you," I told her softly. "I... Arianna, I didn't mean to be ..."

"You dinna mean to be cruel, Nicodimus, but 'tis cruel you were. First you told me you dinna want me, though it cut me to the quick to hear you say it. An' now, when at last you've convinced me 'tis true, an' best for us both to

accept it, you change entirely. Just when I promise to be your wife in name only, just when I steel myself against feelin' anything for you, you go an' . .. an' ..."

She turned quickly away, but not before I'd seen her squeeze her eyes tight to prevent the tears spilling over. I touched her shoulders, turned her back 'round to face me again. "I lost myself. You . . . you are a most beautiful woman, Arianna. And if you thought I didn't desire you, if that was what my words made you believe, you were wrong. It was more that I didn't
want
to desire you. But ... but one look at you ... in that... that scrap, and I simply lost all reason ... and control. I apologize."

Her eyes widened, and color crept into her cheeks. She dashed at the drying tears, and smiled tremulously. "Then ... you're saying you couldna help yourself."

"A moment of madness," I told her. "I have few weaknesses, Arianna. Did you ask me what they were, I'd be hard-pressed to name them. But I'm finding I do have one. And that weakness is you. I'm sorry if my desire confused or frightened you, little cat."

"Dinna be sorry for that, Nicodimus. That you find me ... desirable ... makes my heart swell. An' my head, as well, I fear."

"You've every reason to be proud. You're a remarkable woman, in so many ways."

"Aye." She lifted her head, met my gaze head on. "That I am."

Her ready agreement made me smile. I must have been insane. Any other man would have been worshipping at her feet by now, promising her the moon if she'd only love him forever. I, on the other hand, was wishing I could erect barriers to keep her away from my heart, for she seemed to sling arrows at it with every glance, every smile, every word. I knew I had good reason to put up defenses. She was young, far too young to know her own mind, her own heart. Far too young to commit to me in any real way, or be expected to honor that commitment... for eternity. Far too young and too beautiful and full of fire to be satisfied by a tired old man such as myself for very long. She'd

destroy me if I let myself love her. I would lose her. There was no doubt in my mind of that. It frightened me, right to my bones. Never had I been afraid of any foe. Of any beast or any danger. Never had I doubted my ability to survive.

But I would never survive a war of hearts with Arianna Sinclair. Arianna ... Lachlan. My bride.

She cleared her throat, and drew my gaze. Innocence personified, with spun gold hair, velvet brown eyes, and satin skin kissed by the sun. She did not look like my potential executioner. A man unafraid to face down a rampaging lion, I thought. Ironic that he trembles in fear of a mere kitten.

"Perhaps 'twould be best if we dinna share the same chamber after all," she whispered.

Her words startled me out of my thoughts. "No, little cat. You're constantly proving yourself the wiser of the two of us, and you were right about the gossips and the damage they could do. I'll stay here, and I promise, lady, I'll not ravish you while you slumber."

"I never thought you would," she said softly, but kept her eyes carefully averted.

She should have, I thought. Because it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility. Sighing deeply, I snatched a tapestry from the wall. Then, drawing my blade, I sliced two lengths of thong from my boot laces, and bound one to each corner. Soon, the tapestry hung suspended in the midst of the room, dividing the portion where she would lie in the bed from the place where I would rest, alone and miserable, upon the floor.

I treated Arianna like a princess after that, more careful than I had ever been with anyone, so eager was I to protect her tender heart. I regretted letting my passion grow almost beyond my control, and was determined to offer amends. I was only making matters more difficult for myself, of that I was keenly aware. And yet I could not seem to stop my feet from treading eagerly upon the path to my own destruction.

She ... mesmerized me. I took such pleasure in her company. Her wit, her laughter, seemed to fill the keep with a spirit which had never lived there before. Or, perhaps, not in a long while. Since the death of Joseph's own wife. But there was more than just this. Before my eyes, Arianna grew from the frightened, wild and rebellious child still mourning her sister, to a young woman filled with life and confidence. Part of what influenced her was, I believe, the companionship Nidaba and I offered. Two who shared her beliefs and practiced her faith. No longer did she question the legitimacy or even the sanity of it.

And more than that, too. Arianna was now a lady, my wife, and everyone in the household treated her as such. There was some resistance at first, but as I had already

learned, no one could remain indifferent to Arianna for long.

It wasn't just me, I knew, who was slowly being drawn into the enchantment she spun. Within a fortnight she'd endeared herself to every servant, and many in the clan had gone from whispering suspicions about her to singing her praises, while others had at least grudgingly accepted her. Even the laird's men soon looked upon Arianna with fondness and affection.

Mara was so proud of her daughter. This was another part of Arianna that seemed to be flourishing here—the loving daughter, devoted and attentive to her parents. She had dresses made for her mother, and personally oversaw the early stages of construction for the home Joseph and I were having built for her family. Each day, without fail, she rode into the village to visit her parents. Often she would bring them back with her to dine at the keep, and sometimes she would take me along with her to eat at the humble cottage with them. She even attended morning mass at the village church with them on occasion. I knew how she detested it, so it moved me even more that she should do this just to please them.

The love in that tiny family grew steadily, day by day. And I was somehow included in that love. Arianna's father and I spent a great deal of time together in the stables discussing Joseph's horses as Edwyn repaired saddles, and even hunting together now and again. The man seemed to look upon me as a son, and an old scarred place in my heart seemed to soften and become tender all over again.

But it was not the strengthening bond between Arianna and her family, nor between her family and me, that unnerved me. No, more than anything else, it was my own unwilling fascination with her. I grew more and more reluctant to be away from her, and found myself seeking out her company at every opportunity. When she visited her family, I went along more often than not. Even to mass at the village church. I knew she was spending time with Ni-daba every day in secret lessons of combat. I often hid myself to watch. The way she moved, the way she learned

so quickly, her grace, her strength... all of it entranced me. When I exercised Black, I took her along, and our rides became more for sheer enjoyment than for the good of our mounts. Seeing her beside me upon a galloping mare, her hair flying in the wind, sent such sensations through me that I barely knew how to contain them. Or to understand them. And while these feelings frightened me, even while the warnings whispered through my mind, my heart rejoiced in them.

I told myself it was only friendship I felt for my young bride, a fondness like that of a brother for a sister. And yet I knew, deep down, these were lies. For I wanted her. More with every breath I drew, I wanted her. And each night as I lay in my nest of cushions upon the floor my discomfort and frustration grew. My young, beautiful bride only an arm's length from me, asleep in the bed we were meant to share, seemed to beckon me even from within the realms of her dreams. And often, I would part the makeshift curtain between us, just to look on her as she slept. When she rolled toward me, a soft sigh escaping her slightly parted lips, her hair spread over her pillows, I ached inside. When moonbeams streamed through our window to bathe her in silvery light, I held my breath as I watched her sleeping.

The moon waxed toward full, and with each night, I grew more and more uneasy. For I had promised her we would observe the full moon together, at the Stone Circle, and I felt a certain anxiety growing stronger and stronger within me. What I feared, I did not know. But there was a sense I had always possessed that warned me when danger was near. And I felt it now, looming larger with each night.

Until finally, the moon was full, and I knew the time was at hand.

Arianna was ... remarkable that Esbat night. She wore a white tunic gown of the style I'd seen worn in Greece on my travels there, no doubt given to her by Nidaba. Silver clasps held the gathered fabric at her shoulders, a silver belt hugged 'round her slender waist. Her long, graceful arms were bare, save the bracelets she wore. And her pendant was fastened, as always, about her slender neck. For the

first time I examined the pendant more closely, and the detail of it, the Moon Goddess reclining in the curve of a cradle moon, made me catch my breath. For it was the sort only worn by High Witches . . . but she did not know she was one.

She looked up at me as I entered our chamber, eyes wide, smile uncertain. Then she rose slowly as my eyes remained riveted. Her hair caught up with a silver clasp, then spilling free 'round it. A black cloak I'd given her for tonight was draped over her arm.

"Am I dressed suitably?" she asked me, her voice soft, hesitant.

"You ... chose very well, Arianna." I'd seen an artist's conception of the Moon Goddess Diana once, and it had looked very much the way Arianna looked now. Silver adorning her, dressed all in white. As for myself, I wore my finest kilt, beneath a dark hooded cloak, and this night, I had donned my own pendant, so similar to Arianna's.

My gaze returned once again to the pendant she wore, I wondered what she knew of its significance. ' 'Arianna ... that necklace. It is ... very unusual."

She fingered the piece, her touch reverent, fingers dancing over the circle, and the star in its center, and the cradle moon and reclining goddess that adorned its outer curve. "'Twas one of three gifts The Crones gave to me when I'd studied with them for a year and a day," she said. " 'Twas at our last ritual together. I will cherish it always."

I nodded, not telling her I was wearing one very much like it, tucked beneath my cloak. Nor did I tell her that most of the High Witches I had known did as well. I did not usually wear mine when I was here at Stonehaven. I had no wish to advertise what I was to those few who might, somehow, know what the pendant symbolized. It was becoming painfully obvious that more knowledge existed out there than I had ever suspected. The Crones ... could they have known of our existence? They had given her a High Witch's dagger as well that night as I'd watched in silence.

But how? And if they suspected what Arianna truly was, why had they not told her?

Then again, I thought, why hadn't I?

Perhaps they, too, had believed her too young, and not yet ready to know the truth.

"Come," I said softly, banishing the other thoughts. "It nears midnight." Taking the dark cloak she held, I draped it about her shoulders. It was silken, large, and loose, and had a hood. I had one like it.

"What is the meaning of the cloak, Nicodimus?" she asked as we moved into the corridors and through them, and finally out into the night.

Reaching behind her, I tugged the hood up to cover her golden hair. "It is practical. We blend with the night and are less likely to be seen. The Druids wore white ones much like these during ritual, and I followed their custom. However, with the advent of Christianity and Witch-hunters, I thought it wise to change it to black, at least for the journey to and from the sacred site."

She glanced up at me as we moved side by side over the meadows and into the woods beyond. "Ah. But what of your own people?" she asked as we picked our way along the old path. "Did they wear cloaks for their rites?"

"No. My clan were of the barbaric sort. We spoke to our Gods in solitude, and wore nothing at all, save the colors with which we painted sacred symbols over our bodies."

She blinked as if surprised, then smiled to herself. ' 'I can see why you thought the Druid method might be preferable tonight, then."

I glanced down at the hint of laughter in her voice. But as I did, an image crept into my mind. One of my beautiful Arianna, naked and proud, unashamed, raising her arms and turning her face up to drink in the moonlight. And the image grew. Until I saw myself kneeling before her, dipping my fingers into pots of color, and drawing the ancient sacred symbols upon her pale, soft skin.

I shivered, and she looked up quickly. But when I said nothing, she faced forward again.

Soon the stones of the circle towered before us, and without being told, Arianna stopped and bent to remove her slippers before stepping inside. I nodded my approval and removed my own boots. Then I entered, and tugging the pack from my shoulder, I emptied it, setting its contents upon a large flat stone table in the northernmost quadrant. Wine, and two cups, four candles, and a staff.

"What magick will we work this night, Nicodimus?" Arianna asked me, her voice childlike with excitement.

I smiled down at her in the moonlight. "What do you wish for?"

She lowered her head at once. And I knew I had spoken too quickly. I knew what she wished for. And she knew it was impossible. Yet she spoke it all the same.

"I wish for your love, Nicodimus, but I ken that can never be. I wish for your touch ... but nay for the consequences of knowing it. For those would only be pain for us both. An' I'd nay use magick to gain either of those things, for were they not given freely, they'd be worse than useless to me."

I did not speak. I could not, for I knew not what to say.

She lifted her head again, eyes meeting mine. "So instead I'll wish for something far simpler an' more mundane. A cooling North wind, to ease the dreary autumn heat."

Relief that she could smile in spite of the pain I'd caused her—was still causing her—made me breathe again. "Then a cooling wind it shall be. A wise choice, for the heat is wearing on the clan, making their tempers short. You've called forth the winds before?"

"Aye," she said. "With The Crones to guide me. Thrice we did so, an' each time the gentle breezes came within a fortnight of our casting." She tilted her head. "An' you, Nicodimus?"

I nodded once. "Usually the winds come within a day of my conjuring." I bent to make the preparations, building a small fire in the center of the circle, and lighting it. Then I placed a candle in each of the four directions, just at the edges of the circle. Returning to the center, I sat for a time, gazing into the flames. Arianna did likewise, and I knew

she was letting her mind go quiet, gathering the energies around her. It seemed we both felt ready to proceed at the same moment, for we looked up simultaneously. And in silence, I took a flaming limb from the fire. I walked to the North candle, focused on the energies of Earth, and lit the candle's wick. Arianna met me in the center, taking the limb from my hand. She moved to the East candle, closed her eyes for a moment, and lit it. I could almost feel the Air move as she summoned its elemental energies to join us here. I repeated this process in the South, for the element of Fire, and she in the West, for Water.

Meeting at the stone table again, we locked gazes, and I saw something in her eyes ... the swirling reflections of moonlight and fire. A shiver worked up the back of my neck. I took a breath, poured the wine, handed Arianna her cup. She held it up, as if to capture the light of the moon in the glistening scarlet liquid, as she chanted.

I
am one with the light from above.

An' one with the force from below.

One with the beasts of the wild

One with the green things that grow.

One with the moon, one with the sun

One with the Earth and the Sky

One with All since afore I was born,

An' will be long after I die.

Then closing her eyes, lowering the goblet, she drank its contents. I downed mine as well, and walked her back to the fire. Dipping a hand into the deep pocket of the hooded cloak I wore, I drew out a palmful of herbs, and tossed them into the flames. They hissed and heated, burned fragrantly.

Smiling, Arianna reached her small hand into my pocket, and repeated what I had done. Then I faced North, palms up in front of me, and chanted in a long forgotten tongue the words to call the North wind.

Her eyes as she watched me were huge and luminous. And before I knew what she intended, she faced me, and

pressed her palms flat to mine. The tingling contact rocked through me, right to my core, and the warmth remained long after that initial shock faded.

I felt it then. A power like I'd never known surging from below and above at the same time. And the place where it gathered until it nearly burned, was the very place where Arianna's palms pressed flat to mine. For just a moment, I swore an amber glow emanated from our joined hands.

There was a deep humming sound, as the wind picked up force, blowing through the trees, whistling over twigs, and groaning past limbs. Then it grew to a roar. The mighty oaks 'round us seemed to bow beneath its force. Arianna's hair blew and danced and her white gown seemed alive. Leaves and twigs swirled 'round us like miniature cyclones, and the air cooled so rapidly my skin shivered. My gaze swung 'round, seeking shelter. But before I could think on that further, the air filled with snow. Snow! In the midst of a highland autumn!

It coated my garments and melted there, wetting me to the skin in a matter of seconds. Amazed, I faced Arianna.