Books by Maggie Shayne (255 page)

Her parched lips parted, and her eyes widened slightly. “Lily’s girl? You be Lily’s little girl?”

“Yes, Aunt Eleanor. Lily’s little girl.”

“Saints be praised,” she whispered, and tears brimmed in her clouded eyes. “Oh, mercy, child, I thought I would never live to see you.“ She opened her arms, and I embraced her. Her thinness made me wince, but though weak, she squeezed me tight. Sheer joy gave her that strength, joy at seeing me. A welcome I’d neither expected nor hoped for… from a woman who was all that remained of my family.

Family.

All at once so much emotion rose up inside me that I could scarcely speak and my eyes burned with tears. She would never know what such a welcome meant to me. Never. But I’d be grateful for it all my life. And I hugged her back just as firmly, though with great care.

“You’re not to worry anymore,” I told her. “I’m here now, and I’ll care for you.” I sat away slightly, and kissed her careworn cheek. “You’ll be well again soon, Aunt Eleanor. I promise you that.”

And, of course, she was.

I pampered my aunt in every way I knew. By day I took long walks in the woods, finding, growing wild in this lush land, many of the herbs and roots that would help her. I never told her of it, of course. My mother had warned me to trust no one, and though I was certain my dear aunt would never intentionally bring harm to me, I was equally certain it was best I never give her the means to do so. I seasoned the meals I prepared for her with the natural remedies for her weakening heart and made teas of the tonics I brewed. Hawthorn berries and devil’s claw. Valerian root and chamomile, and wild garlic.

By night I performed quiet rituals over her bed as she slept, calling on all the powers of the Universe to aid in restoring her health. And of course, my magick was effective… though not as dramatic and shattering as it had been that night in Duncan’s cabin aboard the
Sea Witch.
Never once did I feel the surge of power I’d felt when I’d called down the power to heal Duncan. Never once. And I wondered why.

I thought of him often. Mostly when I lay alone in my bed at night, wondering what would become of me. Would I live alone for all eternity? Would I ever stop seeing the longing in his deep brown eyes every time I closed my own?

In between struggling with these unanswerable questions, I milked and cared for the cow and the hens, so that we had fresh milk and eggs aplenty. More than we needed, in fact, so that each day I would ride into town and trade the excess for other goods. Vegetables and game and freshly caught fish. Good for my aunt’s health, all of it.

Within a week Aunt Eleanor was strong enough to walk outside in the sunshine for a few minutes each day. Within two weeks she was gaining weight again, and the color had returned to her cheeks. After a month she was vigorous enough to supervise me as I planted a vegetable garden near the house. And at the end of my second month in Sanctuary, she was helping me gather eggs and nagging at me to take her to the Sunday meetings in the settlement.

I did not want to do this. The very idea of another clergyman, like the evil one back in England, glaring down at me with judgment in his eyes made me feel ill. And though this small church was no part of the Church of England, I was reluctant. But there was really no choice. I had to keep my secret, and attending services was necessary if I hoped to do so.

Since my arrival, no one had come to call on my aunt Eleanor, and I was quite happy to have it that way. People asked after her, of course, when I made my excursions into town. And each time I was asked, I would say that Aunt Eleanor was improving, and that we were fine and in no need of assistance. When they remarked that they hadn’t seen me at the Sunday meetings since my arrival in Sanctuary, I replied that I dared not leave my aunt alone for that long.

I truly thought I was handling things well, and discreetly.

But when I walked beside my aunt into the meeting hall that first time, I knew that I hadn’t. There were gasps and exclamations at the sight of my aunt’s rosy cheeks and shining eyes and renewed vigor. And for the second time in my life, my neighbors began looking at me with suspicion in their eyes.

Duncan worked like a mule, pouring himself fully into physical labor. And not just to help his friends, though he told himself that was the reason. He was trying to make himself forget. Forget
her
and the brief flirtation with madness he’d suffered while he’d been ill aboard that ship.

But no matter how hard he worked, she haunted him still. Her eyes, gleaming black and full of mystery and promise. Her lips, full and tasting vaguely of honey as they moved in delicious, erotic response against his own.

It hadn’t been real. He told himself that again and again as he worked by Samuel’s side, sawing timber, building a cabin, hunting and fishing, and tilling the soil. Cutting firewood, harvesting vegetables.

And though he did the work of three men, Duncan still couldn’t escape the memory of her. Neither the real memory, of her swinging from that noose, too beautiful and full of life to be dead, nor the false memory, the fantasy, of holding her body tight to his in a bed, of kissing her and begging her not to go.

He barely slept anymore. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw her there. She came to him in his sleep and loved him to the point of exhaustion. A gentle succubus. A seductive spirit. And though he knew ’twas only a trick of his mind that had created her, it felt just as real. Just as powerful.

He grieved her loss as if she’d been his lover. Ridiculous. But true, for she’d become his lover in his dreams. He was well and truly obsessed, and he knew that was no overstatement when he found himself searching the township of Boston for her. Everywhere he went, he sought her face, her hair. He was always,
always
searching.

And he feared he was cursed to do so for the rest of his life. For two full years had passed since that fateful voyage. And still, he found himself searching. ’Twas as if, though she’d died, part of her had remained alive inside him. Possessing him. He’d become depressed and moody, restless and irritable. And all the hard work in the colonies couldn’t cure him.

Samuel and Kathleen had tried to convince him to return to the pulpit. How would they feel if they knew the thoughts that plagued him? The fire that burned in his loins for a dead woman? He couldn’t do it. Not now, and perhaps not ever.

He’d earned enough by hiring himself out to help other settlers, and the debt he owed his father was finally paid in full. That goal reached, he felt adrift, directionless. The emptiness he felt threatened to consume him.

And then one day Kathleen returned from the marketplace with news that changed everything.

“I believe, dear Duncan, that I have found permanent and perfect employment for you.“ Her red hair danced in the breeze as she bent to set her basket of goods on the ground.

Duncan had been assisting Samuel in patching the roof, and looked down at his friend’s pretty wife in surprise. “You’ve done what your husband and all his cronies couldna do, then.”

“And it should not surprise you!” she teased, sending Samuel a wink and running a hand over her bulging belly. “There is a town two days’ ride north. Sanctuary, ”tis called. Their minister was called away, Duncan, and they’re sorely in need of a new one.“

Duncan lowered his head then, disappointment washing over him. “I’m no priest, Kathleen. You know that. I canna be, not after seein’ my own confessor, my mentor, commit murder.“

He didn’t tell her the other reasons, nor did he mention that it was that very same murder that kept him awake nights. The murder of the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid his eyes upon.

“You’re the closest thing to one, Duncan. Your trainin’ was all but complete when you left England. Besides, they don’t want a priest, just a pastor.“

“ Tis true,” Samuel said. “I’ve heard of this place. Sanctuary is but a small settlement. They’ve no need of pomp and circumstance there. Only guidance and a stirrin’ sermon of a Sunday morn. “Tis not the Church of England we’re discussin‘, after all.”

“I’ve already spoken to the man makin’ inquiries, Duncan,“ Kathleen continued. ”He’s at the Boar’s Head, and he’s hopin‘ you’ll come by.“

Duncan heaved a great sigh. “Samuel, you know my feelin’s on this matter. We’ve discussed it before.”

“Aye, I know them. But what better way to teach people tolerance and love for their neighbors than from the pulpit? You could change things, Duncan.”

“Not all men of God are like Nathanial Dearborne,” Kathleen said softly, sympathy for Duncan in her eyes. “I’ve known many fine, honorable men who preached to a flock. And so have you, Duncan Wallace. You cannot condemn the callin’ because of the acts of one vile man.“

Duncan knew she was right. “You’re a wise woman, Kathleen.”

“And well you know it,” she said. “Come, Duncan. What harm will it do to speak with the man? You’ve certainly had no better offers. The pay is fair and includes a cabin for you to live in.” She patted her round belly again. “And while I love havin’ you here, I fear ‘twill soon become crowded in this one.“

“Nonsense!” Samuel cried. “I’d been plannin’ to put Duncan to work as a governess, woman. Don’t go chasin‘ him off now.“ He laughed and nudged Duncan with an elbow. ”At least talk to the man.“

Duncan shook his head in surrender and glanced down at Kathleen’s gleaming eyes.

“His name is Elias Stanton,” she said. “And he’ll be leavin’ town in the morn.“

“I fear I’m outnumbered,” Duncan said softly. And perhaps they were right, after all. Perhaps he could do some good in one small settlement…
if
he were to take the position. He probably would not. But ’twas high time he leave his friends to their new life, their new home, and growing family. Time he struck out on his own.

And perhaps he’d find a way in Sanctuary to exorcize the beautiful ghost from his soul. He’d failed to forget her in all this time and seemed to think of her even more since he’d come here. Again and again, he would close his eyes and see her body swinging from a rope. Feel her in his arms or catch the scent of her hair on a stray breeze.

“Duncan?” Samuel tapped his shoulder.

Duncan started from his morbid thoughts. “All right,” he said. “I’ll speak with this Stanton.”

“Good,” Kathleen said with a laugh. “I told him you’d be there directly. Off that roof with you. And wash your hands afore you go. If I had time I’d take a blade to that hair of yours, but I suppose there’s naught to be done for it now.”

“You’d best run, Duncan, before my wife domesticates you thoroughly.”

“You make a good point, my friend.” Duncan climbed down the ladder and washed his hands. Perhaps part of the void growing inside him was because he’d left what he’d once considered his life’s work behind. In the various congregations scattered about here in the colonies, a preacher wasn’t expected to be without sin, as it seemed he was in England. Here he was still considered a man, flaws and all. Which was as it should be. Ministers married and raised families. Desires of the flesh, then, should not necessarily mean he could not serve.

Perhaps he would give it a try. Perhaps he could fill the emptiness in his heart. And perhaps, by doing so, he’d rid himself of the woman who lived eternally inside his soul.

Elias Stanton looked like a man with many grave matters on his mind as he sat before a pint of ale at a slab table, across from Duncan.

He shook Duncan’s hand but seemed distracted.

“I hope you didna wait long,” Duncan said, apologetic.

“No. If I seem impatient, sir, ”tis only because I have many problems to tend to. However, finding a new man to minister to the township takes precedence over the rest.“

“I hope your troubles are not too dire,” Duncan said, curious. Elias rubbed his hairy chin, and Duncan thought he had jowls like a mastiff.

“Oh, quite dire indeed,” he said. “Our town has a temptress nestled in its midst. A most improper young woman, truth to tell. An’ I believe she’s come to damn the souls of all the menfolk in Sanctuary.“

Duncan tried not to smile, though the man’s words amused him. “How shockin’,“ he said. ”But surely the men of Sanctuary have enough moral fiber to resist such temptation?“

Elias shook his head slowly. “I’m in hopes you can help them in that regard,” he said. “But ”twill not be easy. The girl is possessed of an unnatural beauty, and there is hellfire in her eyes. She’s neither humble nor obedient. Nor devout, for she misses services as often as she attends them.“ He shook his head in disgust.

“Perhaps the girl is unaware of the effect she has on the men.”

Elias took a long sip of ale, then set the glass down heavily. “She’s aware. Even enticed
me
to impure thoughts. An’ I tell you, not all our men have the moral fortitude and spiritual strength that I have. Some might be moved to do more than dream. They’ll fall victim to her wiles, surely. And that will be their downfall. “Tis why we cannot afford to go long without a minister.”

“I see.” Duncan wasn’t certain he did. Was Elias saying that because he desired a woman, ’twas
her
fault?

“There’s something evil about her,” the man went on.

Duncan felt a cold chill dance up his spine. Damnation. Such ridiculous discussions were what led to more serious accusations. Accusations like the ones that had caused the death of his phantom lover. And suddenly he thought that perhaps this was why he’d been led to this man, to this position. Perhaps he’d get the opportunity to prevent such an atrocity from happening to another innocent young woman.

Aloud, he said, “We all have a darker side, Elias. We only learn to control it.”

Elias frowned. “Tis more than a dark side, I fear. Abundance seems to surround this girl. While others in Sanctuary simply get by from one year to the next, she and her aunt grow wealthier by unnatural measures, and in an unbelievably short time. Two years ago the girl rode into our town with little more than the clothes on her back, and one feisty mare. Now she is quite possibly more wealthy than I, the town’s foremost elder! Imagine!“

“Aye. Imagine.” So the man’s pride was suffering, as well. Aye, Duncan thought, he had to take this position. He had to enlighten ignorant fools such as the one sitting across from him. Maybe he had a purpose in this life after all.