Bonds of Attraction (Full Length Erotic Romance Novel) (21 page)

The humor vanished from Leon’s face. He
looked at me coolly, as if I had slapped him in the face. I laughed out
viciously in a grunt and shook my head at him.

“You’re pathetic. Have a wonderful, lonely
life,” I said. I turned and walked out of his office. Leon made no sound as I
opened the door and walked out.

I drove much slower on the way home. I felt
no satisfaction from my meeting with Leon. Everything had gone so poorly that I
felt completely dejected. I pulled into a fast food joint and ordered a double
cheeseburger and fries. Extra large Coke, not that diet stuff. I drank the Coke
greedily and ate the cheeseburger in a few bites in the parking lot while I
tried to force back tears.

Leon Christensen had been his old self,
offensive and crude. It had struck a nerve when he actually referenced our sex
from the previous night. It was something about the way he made it perverse
that had riled me so much because it hadn’t been like that. Our sex had been
tender, emotional, and special. The dead meat in my mouth tasted like processed
garbage as I swallowed the truth about the previous night.

At the office, April was gone. I sat down at
my desk, thankful to be alone. I sat there in silence for a long while, trying
not to think about the ramifications of my meeting with Leon. What would this
mean for me professionally?

I had never acted so rashly. Even if a client
had offended me or acted improperly, I would never have lashed out in the past.
I would have simply charged the client for time spent on his file and then
closed his file, no recourse allowed. With the offending client gone, I would
maintain my professionalism while dealing with the problem.

Now I had attacked a client personally after
I spent a night having sex with him at my own apartment. It was a huge mess. If
this leaked out, it would be incredibly damaging to my career and my
reputation. Would any woman use my service if she suspected that I was sleeping
with the male clients? What woman would want a suitor who was sleeping with the
matchmaker like she was some sort of prostitute.

Those rumors would fly as well. I would be
accused of being a high-class escort. The women I matched up might be construed
as a front or even whores themselves. It wouldn’t be the first time that an
escort service masked itself as a matchmaking agency. Hell, that’s even how
they marketed themselves in the classifieds!

I fell into despair over my imagined demise.
If Leon used some of his influence and wealth to start a smear campaign against
me, I was finished. Even if he didn’t, if any of this leaked to anybody that I
slept with a client, it would still be damaging. Guys would sign up for my
service with the intent of trying to sleep with me. Sure, I could charge them
for meetings that never led anywhere, but rumors were powerful things. And with
the internet, rumors became tangible things that lingered in message boards and
websites.

I wanted a drink. I needed to wash away the
anxiety of the day with a very stiff drink. When I looked around my office, I
knew that I had no liquor there and there was no way I was going to sit alone
in a bar drowning away my sorrows. I was still full from the nasty fast food
that sat like a lump in my stomach, so even a restaurant was out of the
question.

My stomach turned over and I felt nauseated.
Whether from stress or fast food, I didn’t know. It didn’t really matter. If I
vomited now, I would probably feel better. Instead, I got up and made myself a
cup of tea.

I looked around the office. April’s computer
was dark, turned off for the day. Her chair was neatly tucked in against the
desk and everything on the desk neat and organized. I studied every single inch
the office, praying that no matter what happened, this would not be threatened.
It was then that I realized I would miss April if she were gone. The next time
I saw her, I was going to make sure she began calling me by my first name.

The look on Leon’s face when I lashed out at
him filled my head. I had felt so justified at the time in attacking him. When
he recoiled at my verbal lashing, it had even felt good. Yet now I felt nothing
even close to good. I had attacked him with a low blow. It was unfair of me to
use his darkest secret to attack him with, despite his piggish outbursts at me.

I had overreacted. This was perfectly clear
to me. What if I had misconstrued Leon’s banter as trying to be offensive when
it was simply flirtatious? Leon was accustomed to a very different sexual
lifestyle than I was. What if being crude and offensive like that was part of
the Dom-sub relationship?

I did not want to be any man’s sub, including
Leon Christensen. Even if it was normal behavior within the circles he ran in,
Leon was no fool. He knew that I was not into those sexual proclivities and
that I had little reference for what the norms were. Even if he was trying to
acclimate me to them and see if I responded to being a sub, it had seemed
hard-edged and abrasive.

My words hung in my mind like a noose. I had
been cruel. I had been foolish. Now, I would have to be humble. I was not going
to pursue a sexual relationship with Leon Christensen, I promised myself this,
but I did need to mend our professional relationship. I needed a clean break.

I walked back into my office brusquely. Rather
than drive right over to his office and confess that I was wrong, I would sleep
on it. My intuition screamed out against this, but I knew I needed to cool down
and process everything. Every fiber in my being wanted me to go over there
immediately and control the damage before Leon did anything rash.

I considered this. Would Leon do anything to
hurt my professional career immediately? It was possible, but I had to trust
that he wouldn’t. If he wanted vengeance, even an apology tomorrow might not
quell that desire. There was nothing left to do but wait until tomorrow.

I pulled out a pad and paper. I began to
write all of my feelings about what had happened. Soon, I was staring at a
substantial apology. The computer hummed on as I brought up the word processor.
Then I began to type the second draft.

Leon,

This is my sincere apology. I am sorry for
my outburst in your office.

It is true that I came there to provide
you with a match. Despite our night together, I am still compelled to do my job
as best as I can. I believe we can both behave as professional adults and move
past a simple night that we both enjoyed. It was a wonderful night that I do
not regret.

I reread the line about not regretting the
night with Leon. I was unsure as to whether it was even true or not, but as I
thought about it more and more, I wasn’t ashamed that we had sex nor did I
regret it. I continued on:

I do regret my behavior at your office.
But please understand that what you were saying upset me. I should not have
responded in such an angry fashion, but I lost control of my emotions. If I
could go back, I would have explained to you how what you were saying was
making me very uncomfortable.

My words were harsh and cruel. They were
without base and I meant them only in the sense that I wanted them to hurt you.
None of the things that I said have any truth to them. It was shameful of me to
use your past pain to try to hurt you presently.

I understand if you refuse to work with me
further, but I at least want to leave on a positive note. If we can move past
this unpleasantness, I will still work on your case for you, free of charge.
That is how I will show you that I am truly sorry.

I considered how to sign it, before finally
deciding on a lame:

Sincerely,

Julie Facet

I reread the letter and printed it out. Then
I deleted it from my computer. I was never going to give Leon the letter, but
it helped me organize my thoughts. These were the words that I would paraphrase
for him. With them all laid out before me, it made the daunting task of walking
back up to Leon and apologizing to him seem smaller.

I left the office and decided to go to the
gym to relieve some more tension. The prospect of fixing the mess that I had
created was actually filling me with excitement now. In the morning, all would
be made right again.

I woke up early. I stretched, still sore from
the gym. The shower felt wonderful against my skin and I spent an extra few
minutes just soaking up the hot water and enjoying myself. I drank only one cup
of coffee and ate a light breakfast of oatmeal and fruit.

Instead of driving to work, I drove right to
Leon’s office. This time, I called him on his cellphone. It went to voicemail
and I left him a brief message.

“Leon, this is Julie. I’d like to talk and apologize
for yesterday. I’m near your office, so call me and maybe we can meet up,” I
said. My voice was steady, but not harsh. It sounded exactly as I had practiced
in the event that he didn’t pick up.

I didn’t speed towards Leon’s office.
Instead, I took my time and tried to kill some of that time while waiting for
him to call me back. As I approached, I began to worry that he wouldn’t call me
back.

I contemplated what to do. If he didn’t call
me back by the time I reached his office, I would simply go into the organic
coffee shop that was a few buildings down. I would drink expensive coffee and
go over some of my work. I had brought my laptop, so I knew that I could at
least continue to work.

When I drove by his office building, I saw
that Leon’s car was outside. The lights were on in the building so I pulled in.
Maybe Leon hadn’t heard his cellphone. It was even possible he was in a
meeting. I parked next to his car and got out, surveying my surroundings. The
sun cast down warmth from above the tree line in the distance and I closed my
eyes, basking in the light.

I turned to the office building, feeling
excited and anxious about our next meeting. I was going to apologize to Leon
and fix everything that had gone so wrong. I couldn’t undo the sex that we had,
but now I had accepted that I could not undo it. Maybe, after today, it
wouldn’t even matter. While I knew that we would never have sex again, it was
still a wonderful memory for me.

I walked into the building. There was no one
in sight. I walked around, nervous now that I was somehow trespassing or
invading private property. It was a relatively small building, but there had
always been a security guard by a little desk before the elevator. Shrugging
for no one to see, I called the elevator down to me and boarded.

Minutes seemed to pass before the elevator
reached me. Sweat formed on my brow and I patted it off gently, taking care not
to mess up my makeup. I looked around, positive that someone was going to
emerge from somewhere and demand to know what I was doing. No one came. The
elevator doors opened before me and I boarded.

I pressed the button for Leon’s floor. The
doors inched close and soft music played in the background. A piano was playing
some classical piece that I recognized, but couldn’t actually name even if my
life depended on it. I had taken a musical appreciation class in college and
barely got a B minus. And that B minus had only come after a teary confession
to the teacher that I just didn’t understand music. It had greatly hurt my ego
to have to grovel like that, but it had given me a bump that had kept my GPA
relatively high.

The elevator doors opened. I breathed in
deeply before walking out of the elevator. I reread the note that I had written
on the computer the previous day as if I were studying for a test. I realized
that I was actually about to be tested. There was no way Leon was simply going
to give me a free pass. I steadied myself and prepared for his rude comments.

A soft noise was coming from his office. I
stopped dead in my tracks, alarm striking my heart. Adrenaline dumped in my
veins. Leon was in his office and I could hear some sort of noise that sounded
like crying. When I looked around, I saw that his secretary had not arrived
yet. It dawned on me then just how early I had arrived at his office.

Had it been possible that Leon had come in
this early, only to start weeping in his office? A flicker of hope ran through
me that maybe he regretted all of the things he said to me. Maybe his despair
over having offended me had grown so great that tears had broke over the dam of
his emotional block.

Then another thought struck fear into my
heart. It was possible that Leon was crying over what I had said to him the
previous day. Was it possible that he had even stayed in his office the entire
night, possibly crying, maybe washing his sorrows down with alcohol? I
shuddered at the thought, not yet ready to confront that guilt that would come
along with that realization.

I inched closer to his office, the sounds of
gentle moaning growing louder. His door was closed, and for a moment I
considered turning and leaving. If I walked into his office, it was possible
that I was going to make things worse by violating his privacy. I even worried
that we might connect again the way we had on the anniversary of Kevin’s death.
If that happened, it would throw another wrench in my entire plan.

I turned the door handle slowly and opened
the door. My heart sank in my chest and I froze at what I saw. The first
thought that struck at me was that I shouldn’t have come here. If only I hadn’t
walked into his office. I could have simply turned around and gone home. I
could have never seen Leon Christensen again and wrote him off as a bad lesson
learned.

Leon stared at me. His eyes were as cold as ice.
The sapphire eyes that had once burned with warmth as I let him inside me now
burned with frostbite. Sweat was pouring off of him as he moved back and forth.
There was no smile or hint of humor on his face. I stared into his eyes and it
was like a knife cutting through me.

He was completely naked, save for a tie that
was still on his neck. He stood up straight, his hands extended before him. A
woman was bent over, her sideways profile facing me. Another tie was wrapped
around her neck and Leon was pulling on it as he thrust into her, over and over
again with growing intensity as he stared at me. Her legs wavered as he pushed
against her. The moans that I had mistaken for tears were coming from her, her
mouth open and reaching towards the sky.

She turned and saw me. A look of shock spread
over her face before Leon pulled the tie tighter, still thrusting in and out of
her. It was Andrea Locke, naked and tied before him. My eyes grew wide as I
recognized her and she recognized me.

“Leon, I,” Andrea began. Leon pulled the tie
even tighter, cutting off her words. She moaned loudly, unable to stop herself.

“Quiet now,” Leon said sternly.

I was frozen in place. Leon, still holding
the tie that bound her, freed one hand and turned Andrea ever so slightly so that
I could see him moving in and out of her. My eyes defied me and when I looked,
Leon Christensen’s cock was deep inside of Andrea Locke’s ass. He slid out and
she moaned in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Leon was fucking Andrea anally. I
raised a hand to my open mouth.

“Would you like to join us?” Leon said. His
eyes were leveled at me, filled with biting cold. No words would come in
response. There was no remorse in his eyes or even the slightest amount of
compassion.

I wanted to cry out in rage and hurt. Shock
was raining down on me as I watched Leon thrust himself against her, his hips
making smacking sounds against her sweat-covered body. Leon turned away from me
and looked back down at himself penetrating Andrea. A loud moan grew inside of
his throat and he quickened his movements.

“Feel free to stay and watch,” Leon said, his
voice straining. He was about come and his voice would not remain steady. “We
don’t mind.”

Tears burned in my eyes. Leon looked at me
one final time and then his eyes shut. He looked up and all of his muscles
began to tense. Turning to run, I heard Leon cry out in triumph as he orgasmed.

I ran, tears streaming down my cheeks.