Bondage (33 page)

Between his boys, work, and the one emergency call he had to take on Monday afternoon, it was Tuesday before Tobias finally got to talk to Deidre. He did his paperwork in the morning, the entire process taking longer than it would have if he'd been able to settle his mind and just do it, but by about two o'clock he was caught up enough that he really couldn't delay much longer.

He walked across the tiny hall that separated his office from Dee's and tapped on her doorframe, watching her slave over her own files.

She didn't even look up, just waved him in. "Almost done," she said, jotting another note. "What's on your mind, Tobias?"

Tobias sighed and sat in her visitor chair. "I'm tired, Dee. We have to talk." He hadn't meant to put such an air of finality in his voice, but in his heart he knew that he'd already made up his mind.

She tossed her pen onto the open file and leaned back, pushing a hand through her hair. "Yeah. Me, too."

Tobias nodded to himself. "I'm going to retire."

The words hung there for a long moment while she stared at him. "Well. That'll make this easier."

He raised an eyebrow. "You want me out," he stated, unsurprised. He hadn't exactly been one hundred percent there for her, any more than he had been for his boys.

But her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No, don't be ridiculous. I mean I want out. This way I don't have to convince you to buy me out, we can just sell the practice."

It was his turn to stare. "You're too young to retire. You're what, thirty-five?"

She laughed at him. "Thank you for the compliment," she said with a grin. "And you're too young to retire, too, but it's not like you need the money. And seeing as how Phantom is answering your phone as often as Noah these days, I'd say you have your hands full."

He sidestepped that as neatly as she'd skipped over her age. "I do," he said with a nod. "So where are you going?"

"Nebraska."

"Nebraska."

"Nebraska. It's time to go home, Tobias. I want to go home."

Tobias nodded. "All right then. We'll... sell the practice."

She smiled. "Good enough. Soon. I'd like to head out within the month."

He stared again. "Dee?"

She blushed. He'd never seen her blush, ever. "His name is Derek."

Tobias grinned. "Good for you. Congratulations, Deidre." He stood up and looked around her office. "I'll call the lawyers, then."

"Okay," she said, smiling back. "It's been a pleasure working with you, Dr. Vincent."

"And you, Dr. Cade."

Still smiling, Tobias went back to his own office and started making phone calls.

***

Tobias made sure that his boys knew their Tuesday night cuddle would be uninterrupted, had a light dinner out on his own, and headed to the club to annoy Bradford for a while. He suspected that the man had been on tenterhooks since they'd last talked, and a bit of the devil stirred him to go on over and talk about a few details without calling ahead first.

He was let into the club with a minimum of fuss, mostly fielding questions about Noah and Phan. With a grin of anticipation, Tobias went right to the bar, knowing that if Bradford wasn't there, he would be as soon as he got wind of Tobias being in the building.

Nikki appeared first. "Master Tobias, it's good to see you again, sir." Nikki said, standing by his elbow. He sounded more confident these days, and wasn't showing that nervous fear of his own mistakes that he had in the past.

"Nikki," Tobias said with a smile. "How are you this evening?"

"I'm well, sir, thank you. Master is on the phone in his office; he's invited you back to join him there if you like, or else he'll meet you here at the bar when he's finished."

"Which do you think he'd prefer?" Tobias asked, grinning. "Has he been impossible these last few days?"

"It wouldn't be polite of me to say, sir." Nikki grinned. "But I know he's anxious to hear from you about his proposal. I suppose he'd like to talk in private, so I think he'd prefer his office."

"Ah. Then I'll only make him wait a few moments," Tobias said, pointing to his glass of water. "Tell him I'll be along shortly, if you would."

"Yes, sir." Nikki gave him a quick bow and headed out the door and down the hall.

Tobias grinned at the bartender. "Boss been a bear?"

He got a wink back. "Tell me you're here to soothe the savage beast, Tobias."

Laughing, Tobias picked up his glass and stood. "I'll be in the office. If there's yelling--"

"I'll ignore it, just like always."

"Good man."

Tobias wandered toward Bradford's office, stopping to say a quick hello to Logan and to pinch Brian's butt on his way past the dining room. The place was packed, and there was a steady stream of people up and down the stairs. Bradford hadn't been exaggerating. He sipped his water and tapped on Bradford's door, still smiling to himself.

"Come on in, Tobias," Bradford's voice came through the door.

Tobias opened the door and looked around the office with a keen eye. "I'll need my own office, you know," he said, sauntering in and sitting down. "Lord knows where you'll put it, though."

"Right. Yes, that will be fine, then. Goodnight to you, too," Bradford said and hung up the phone. "You can have Nikki's room." He leaned over to where the boy was kneeling at his feet. "Just kidding, love."

"And not a spare closet, either," Tobias went on. "I haven't lived in a closet for years, I'm not going back. Besides, I'll at least need room to swing a crop. And then there's office furniture and supplies, and room for the boys to look pretty... all that stuff."

"And I suppose you'll be wanting everything carefully bolted down and a full-size mirror on one wall?" Bradford stood and made his way across his office toward him.

"Oh, great idea. I had mirrors ordered for the brownstone, did I tell you?"

"No, but I'm not surprised." Bradford grinned. "Well, you're a partner now, write your damn office into the budget and shut up about it already." He offered Tobias a businesslike hand.

"In effect, yes," Tobias said, standing up to take Bradford's hand. "There are some tricky details to work out, though."

"I'm so pleased, Tobias. Truly." He pulled out a chair for himself rather than put a desk between them. "Sit, and let's hammer out your concerns."

Tobias smiled and took his chair. "My first concern is always my boys," he said, glancing at Nikki. "As is yours."

Tobias knew that he and Bradford had spent entirely too much time together when a glance was all that was needed to get his point across.

"Nikki, darling," Bradford said smiling. "Tobias and I need to talk in private for a while, feel free to do as you please until I come find you again, all right?"

"Yes, sir." Nikki stood. He seemed happy to be spared the business details. "Thank you, sir," he said with a smile and slipped out the door.

"Our boys should always be our priority, Tobias," Bradford said as the door closed again.

Tobias nodded. "And to that end, I have to take care of some things. I can't do anything without assurances that this will increase my time with them," he said, leaning forward. "I know you can't dictate how many people apply for membership, but I need to set my own training schedule. Interviews will be during normal working hours, not in the evenings, and I have to retain control over my stables. We can use them for the club, but if one of my boys is in crisis I have to be able to cancel weekends, if need be."

Bradford nodded. "Done. The application procedures are entirely up to you, Tobias. I have no interest in setting your schedule. I am more interested in running the club smoothly and making improvements where I can. The application and training end of the business is something I would prefer to leave to you and simply not worry about. Though final membership decisions would be discussed between us, of course."

Tobias nodded and stood up to pace. "Of course. I'd like to bring Phan in, on my end of it. He's a heavy masochist, and incredibly articulate. He'll know how to express if the Top in question is paying attention and doing well. Plus, he's mine, so I'll be able to set all the limits without any questions."

"That's between you and your boy. If you'd like to put him on the payroll, go right ahead. At some point I'll go over the books with you and get you up to speed on what I pay people and the like. Do we need a partnership agreement? Or shall we do without for a while and determine that later?"

Tobias gave him a pitying look. "We live by contracts and my daddy taught me better than that. Oh, and I was serious about the office, by the way. I'll need someplace that I don't live in to manage this and meet people."

"Of course. Do you want something here at the club, or off site?"

"Here would make the most sense, really. Tell me, when are you going to marry that boy?"

"Right through that wall," Bradford said, pointing, "is a room about this size that I've been using as storage. I'll have it cleaned out and you can do with it what you like. Is that large enough?" Bradford looked right at him, pointedly ignoring his question about Nikki.

"Should be. I was thinking a gold collar would look good on him. His skin tone screams for it. Now, Phan... that boy is silver links, but it's too soft, so I guess it'll have to be solid." Tobias grinned and looked around the office. "Is yours bigger, even by a bit?"

"I don't know, should we stand up and compare?" Bradford crossed his arms, but he was barely hiding a smirk.

"Please. We both know my dick's bigger and my balls hang lower. So, you're in love with Nikki. Congratulations."

Bradford laughed. "You are impossible, Tobias. What is it you really want to know? Yes, I want to collar the boy. You're saying you're going to collar Phan, too?"

"Oh, didn't I make that clear? Sorry. And I want to hear you say it, Bradford." Tobias beamed at him. "Come on. Just for me? Say the words; it'll do me a world of good."

Bradford sighed. "I'm absolutely in love with Nikki." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. "You dog."

Tobias shook his head and stepped to his friend, pulling him into a hug and crushing the cigarettes between them. "Good," he whispered in his ear. "You deserve to be happy."

"Do I?" Bradford sighed again. "Well, that's a relief anyway."

Tobias raised an eyebrow. "Sit. Talk." He snatched the cigarettes and lit two, handing one to Bradford.

"Oh, no, you don't." Bradford said with a grin, taking the cigarette and sitting back in his chair. "I've spent years in denial building up this cool and uncrackable façade, and I'm not about to let you destroy it with anything so mundane as sentimentality and truth."

"Fuck that," Tobias said bluntly. "You're talking to a man who is about to re-collar Phantom Shaw. That trumps anything you have. Talk to me."

"Damn you and your trump card anyway." Bradford took a long drag and blew the smoke out slowly, watching it dissipate. "Nikki is a kid. He's twenty-two, did you know that? Twenty-two. I've been quite sure all this time that what I needed most was a mature sub, someone that had been around the block. Someone with baggage of his own, jaded and layered and complicated. Someone that could look at me and forgive my faults."

He took another drag, following it with a sip from the water bottle on his desk. "Nikki is none of those things. None. He's sweet and trusting, he's never been mistreated or hurt or lied to, and I've taught him just about everything he knows about the scene. He has no baggage, no layers, he just... is. He's a blank slate, a wide-eyed innocent. He doesn't need to forgive my faults because he doesn't see them."

Another drag and Bradford fell thoughtfully silent.

Tobias waited for a moment. "But you see them, and... what? You're worried that someday he'll notice your flaws and leave?"

Bradford shook his head. "No, no. I think by the time he sees them he'll know me well enough to handle them. That's not it."

Tobias tilted his head. "So what is it? His age? He's legal and seems to know himself. He knows what he is."

"It's a lot of responsibility, Tobias, a lot to live up to. If and when he gets hurt for the first time, or disillusioned -- the first time that happens to him? It will be my fault." Bradford finished his cigarette and put it out in an ashtray on his desk. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Damn it."

"And what makes you so sure you'll hurt him?" Tobias asked gently. "Why do you assume you'll do something wrong?"

"I'm not assuming I will, I'm just not confident that I won't."

Tobias smoked his cigarette, absently noting that he was doing that far too often. "What's the alternative?" he asked. "You either love him, be his Master and partner, or you don't. Take the risk or set him free so you can both be miserable, and he will, in fact, be hurt for the first time."

"Must you make me feel trapped, too?" Bradford sighed and held up a hand. "Don't answer that, it was argumentative, defensive, and unfair." He chugged his water. "I love him. I want to collar him publicly and tell everyone how proud I am of him. I want to keep working with him. I don't have any reason to think I'll fuck it up, it's just a responsibility that I haven't given an ounce of consideration to in years. Like ten, maybe fifteen years, Tobias."

"And you feel trapped?" Tobias put out the cigarette. "Okay, let's go back. Tell me what happened last time -- I was a little... not here, remember? Well, it was fifteen years ago, we were through training and I was flogging anything that moved. Ten years ago I was in Paris."

"You know, what happened with Dario isn't even relevant anymore. That fell apart naturally. I didn't hold up my end of the bargain and he wasn't honest about what he needed."

"Right. So... you're doing everything for Nikki you told him you would. I know you are. And he's been damn clear about what he needs -- and he put up with Phantom. He loves you, Bradford, but he's a sub. He's happy and healthy and calmer than he was when he first turned up... What am I missing here?"

Bradford tapped his fingers on the desk. "I don't know. Nothing. I'm just off guard. I never expected this to happen. I thought he was a cute kid that needed some shaping. He asked me, so I took him on. I don't know when or how he got under my skin, I just woke up one morning with my arms around him and didn't want to let go. I'm walking on new ground, and for me, that's very... unusual."