BOMBSHELL (9 page)

SAMANTHA:

The next day, I worked from home. This wasn’t a good idea, since we had the Kelly International deal starting next week, but that is why I had a Vice-President. Vicki could hold down the fort on site. I answered emails and texts, but I honestly couldn’t go to work feeling this way and be of any use to anyone. Vicki told me that a huge bouquet of flowers came, along with edible arrangements for me, from a JKelly. I told her it was for the office, so put it in the lounge. She pointed out the ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me’ wasn’t for the office. I told her to throw that in the trash. Around 2 PM, a knock came on my door and there was a delivery guy with a big bouquet of flowers and edible arrangements. I refused them, but the guy said he couldn’t take them back because it would go down as a no-show, so I told him to leave them outside the door, I didn’t want him to get into trouble or more stuff to come back. He consented to this arrangement and by 8 PM that night, he’d been back three times with more flowers, teddy bears, chocolates and balloons, each with a version of ‘I’m sorry’ in the note. The delivery guy said, “He must be really sorry.”

I thought, he’s sorry alright. By 9 PM, there was another knock on the door, but when I looked it was Trevor.

“What’s up Trevor?” I asked as I opened the door.

“Nothing, I should be asking you the same question. At first I thought something happened to you and people were having a memorial, then I thought maybe there was a funeral, then I read one of the cards and realized your ‘colleague’ must have fucked up, royally.”

I laughed, “You read my card.”

“Damn straight I read your card, the entire 3
rd
floor has.”

“The entire third floor is nosy,” I said out loud.

“Yeah, we are, but when you leave stuff outside your door, this is what you get, so as your official male/neighbor/fellow avocado loving friend – I brought something to cheer you up,” he said, while taking the liberty to walk in my apartment.

“Okay, what might that be?”

“Ice cream of course!”

“Uh, what kind?”

“Ben & Jerry’s of course!” he said excitedly.

“What kind?”

“What kind do you like?”

“Chocolate Fudge Brownie.”

“Our list just keeps growing and growing,” he said as he pulled out two individual pints of Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream.

“Wow,” I said impressed.

“Well, I bought every kind they had, but since I like Chocolate Fudge Brownie, I figured if you wanted it, I’d have my own.” He smiled.

“Smart man,” I said and went to retrieve spoons and put the rest of the ice-cream in the freezer.

Trevor sat on the loveseat right next to me and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Normally, I’d say no, because I don’t. However, there was something that you said the other day about my guy friend, so I asked him and you were right. So, I’m inclined to get your advice here, but I’m still busy being pissed.”

“Okay, well, I like a challenge. I promise to give you unbiased advice, as I’d rather have you as a friend if nothing else.” He smiled.

“Hmm, okay.”

I told him the whole story, from beginning to end, including the herpes conversation, minus the intimate words and deeds that were shared, he gleaned that from the rest of the story. He ate his ice cream, while thoughtfully listening.

“Well,” he looked up and said, “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but I think your friend Elliot is right. This guy Joshua is under your skin and you are under his and neither of you are handling this the right way.”

“Damn, I forgot you were the psych minor.” I rolled my eyes.

He laughed, and continued, “He is definitely an alpha, something you aren’t used to, because you’ve had to be the alpha in your life. You buck up against him, which probably drives him crazy, you know this, and keep doing it, it’s no wonder he hasn’t turned you over his knee and spanked your ass yet.”

“You sound like him.” My eyes widen.

“Babe, you have no idea. I’d love it if you were my woman and you got out of line, a good spanking ain’t never hurt nobody.” He shook his head. “I digress.”

“Good Lord.” I looked up at the ceiling.

“Anyway, you guys should talk, because I’m sure this can be explained away, because he’s used to doing things and people acquiescing to him without question, thought or comment. That didn’t work for you, because you guys haven’t really developed a trust of each other to know what the other needs, how each other responds and what is needed for you to feel safe with one another.”

He ate some more ice cream, then swallowed. “The relationship hasn’t even begun yet, really, but he’s had feelings for a year now and you are just coming around to seeing him as potential. He’s way ahead of you as far as progression goes, so you’re looking at it like it’s three days, but I’d bet money he’s had eyes on you for a lot longer than that. Men like him and with his resources don’t leave things to chance, which leads me to my last statement. He wants you as a partner, because he does believe in your company, but he also wants you as a partner, because he wants you as a
partner
.”

I stopped the spoon in mid-air. “Come on, how do you figure that?”

“Look at all he’s done to make sure you partnered with this million dollar venture, if not more. It’s bound to be successful and he’s going to make sure you are a part of that. Now look at what he’s done to make you apart of his life, and when he feels like he has jeopardized that, just open your front door. Shit, at this point, you could ask the man anything and I’d think he’d give it to you. The man is smart, but probably too smart for his own good. He’s used to running a billion dollar enterprise, not managing a feisty woman who slaps him, no less. He messed up on that whole wife thing, but I think he knows that now.”

“So you’re saying?” I asked.

“Talk to the damn man, forgive him, so you’ll be happy and not moping around here in pajamas eating ice cream with your neighbor who has a crush on you.” He smiled, “that’s what I’m saying.”

“You are ridiculous.”

“Maybe, but I’m also right.”

I looked at him intently and said, “Thanks!”

“Don’t look at me like that, I might kiss you again.”

We laughed.

“Yes, no more kissing,” I warned.

******

Trevor stayed for a little while longer and then he left. I replayed over and over again in my head all that he said, and concluded that he was probably right on all accounts. I almost wanted to text Joshua, but my pride wouldn’t allow that. There was still the ping of hurt near my heart when I thought about him. I’m not sure if it was the wife thing, his reprimand or him in general that made my chest ache. I still needed some answers, so I could wait to seek him out or I could go get them myself.

The next day, I arrived at his office at 1PM. The receptionist wasn’t seated at the front, so I assumed she was at lunch, therefore I took the liberty to go to his office. I knocked, heard the response and opened the door. There were seven people at the table, all Asian except him. When he saw me, he stood up, spoke in another language to them and they all nodded, then slightly bent towards me and left.

“I could come back. I didn’t mean to interrupt. There was no one at the front desk.”

“No,” he said, clearing his throat, “it’s fine. I’m glad you are here.”

“Do you have time to talk? If not, we can talk later.”

He walked towards his desk, hit a button that fogged the windows and locked the doors. When he finished, he motioned for me to sit down on the sofa. He came around the desk and I saw the three dark marks on the side of his face. My fingerprints. Sadly enough, I was glad they were there.

“Yes, I’ve plenty of time.” He said, as he sat on the other end of the sofa.

JOSHUA:

What an unexpected surprise. I hope she wasn’t coming to tell me to never contact her again and call off the deal or us. I’d fight her for both. She looked calm and that could be dangerous. She was calm at the dinner table, but lethal as a snake. Calculating every move like a master chess player. Her behavior irritated me, because she wasn’t a novice and she beat me at my own game. That’s why I was pissed, but I was so caught up in that, I missed the hurt behind her actions. How could I have missed that? My mind was putty when it came to her.

I’m glad she came when she did, because I had no idea how I was going to get through this meeting with the Chinese council. The meeting had been going on for three hours and we still weren’t at a viable conclusion.  I quickly asked that we reconvene tomorrow, because my woman was here. Well, I could only hope she would be my woman after this conversation. She made no attempt to take off her coat, which wasn’t a good sign. Shit, I would get on my knees and beg. I hadn’t slept in two nights, I have two days’ worth of stubble on my face which made me look rugged and act cranky, when all I wanted was to be with her.

“I think we have some things to discuss, did you want to go first?” she asked in a quiet tone.

“Uh, yeah.” I sighed, “The part that you didn’t hear the other night was that Alura and I were together, but more for legal reasons, so she could get her trust fund and start her business. As long as she was married, it was at her disposal. It was set up by her grandfather, who is a little old school. They come from a long lineage of old money. Anyway, we dated in grad school but right after, we realized that were weren’t suited for each other. This happened during her last year, but I had already graduated. She came to me, explained her grandfather’s stipulation, even had her dad tell me and I agreed. Not for money or anything, but because at that point in my life, I didn’t really care about marriage or its effect on me, just about my enterprise that I set about building. We signed prenuptials and all of that, so neither of us would benefit from the other and we were married on paper, but just on paper. Out of the entire thirteen years, we slept together once in the first year and she became pregnant. At five months, she lost the baby and that was devastating for both of us. I think secretly, we both wanted the child, but figured we didn’t deserve her, because of our marital lie. Later, Alura admitted to me that she wanted the baby, because she thought it would change our status from just paper to something real.”

She listened.

“Eventually, I would show up for select events and we stayed married on paper. After a couple of years, I moved to DC, started my company and she started hers. We talked as mutual friends for most of the time, but that was it. She never met anyone that she wanted to settle down with and neither did I. I went out of town the other day to see her and her dad and let them know I wanted a divorce, because I had met someone. Alura doesn’t need the trust money anymore, but I didn’t know what she was doing with it or if she was allocating it for someone else. Her father knew about the plan from day one, but he had a stake in her business as well, so I wanted to extend him the courtesy of letting him know my plans too. Alura didn’t mean any harm by coming, but you were right. You and I hadn’t developed the sort of rapport yet to do something like that, so you didn’t feel like I left you hanging or unprotected. I apologize, because I didn’t think that through. She insisted on coming with me to meet the woman who ‘brought me to my knees.’ I didn’t think anything of it, until she started talking and then the damage had already been done.”

She nodded her head.

“Okay, so explain the nature of your relationship now?” she asked.

“Prior to seeing her a couple of days ago, it’s been a couple of years since we have been in the same state. Her grandfather was in town, so she requested that I make myself visible. The man is still alive and has full use of all of his faculties.  Especially his mouth. Besides this, Alura and I talk maybe three times out of the year and it’s usually just catching up.” He looked around the room and then said, “She calls everyone honey, I think it’s a Tennessee thing.”

“I see,” she replied.

I gathered her hands in mine and knelt on one knee before her. “I’m so sorry, will you forgive me for being such an asshole? I never meant to hurt you. I just want to be with you.”

She put her head down and I lifted up her chin with my forefinger. “I meant everything I said before. My feelings for you haven’t changed. I hope I haven’t fucked this up with you.”

She looked into my eyes and said, “I’m not sure what to do about you. One minute you are driving me crazy, the next minute you are so sweet and seductive. I think we are both handling this wrong.”

“Yes, I think because it’s new and foreign for both of us,” I agreed.

“Yeah, but also our personalities.”

“Because I’m a dominant?”

“Yes, but also because I have dominant tendencies as well.”

I wondered if she knew exactly what she was saying. “Do you consider yourself a dominant?” I asked.

“No, I just have tendencies, because for the longest time it’s been just me taking care of me. It’s a product of circumstance, not necessarily choice,” she answered.

“So, do you consider yourself a submissive?” I asked.

“Not really, well,” she sighed, then looked at me. “Not until I met you.”