Body Shot (Tapped Out) (4 page)

“
Y
ou okay
, sweetheart?”

Brenda wiped her mouth and blinked up at me, clearly surprised. I imagined there weren’t many men here who asked if she was all right after she performed the back room service she’d been paid for. These kinds of things weren’t supposed to take place, but everyone knew they did.

Now Carly did too.

Revulsion slickened my gut, tasted like fire at the back of my throat. How had I become this man? I’d just had an orgasm, but it didn’t matter because I wasn’t thinking about the lovely, unnerved young woman between my thighs. I was focused on Carly.

Again. Still.

I imagined her walking out the door and heading back to her battered car in the lot down the street. It had been a risk allowing her to follow me, but I’d seen her at the fights too often lately and I couldn’t allow her childlike interest in me to stand. Snuffing it out quickly and painlessly was the kindest thing I could do for her.

For us both.

“I’m fine.” Brenda stood up unsteadily and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. Knowing she could still taste me brought a flush to the back of my neck. If the circumstances had been different, knowing that would’ve filled me with a possessive, masculine pride. But they weren’t different, and the fact that my intentions were to save one girl didn’t detract from the fact that I’d just taken advantage of another.

It wasn’t enough that I’d fucked her between her soft, pale lips. Toward the end I’d gotten rough. I’d tried not to. Every time my fists tightened in her hair, I’d fought to gentle my hold. But she was skilled, and it had been a while since I’d had a release. With as much time as I spent in this club, and with the women at the fights who brought me the kind of attention I needed to be seen, I still didn’t sleep around indiscriminately. That part of my nature hadn’t changed, in spite of the trappings of my new life. I wasn’t perfect, and I definitely had taken my share of lovers, but I also didn’t have a revolving carousel of them. Even if I had, it wouldn’t have diminished my thoughts of Emilia.

Or Carly.

“Here.” I fumbled out my wallet and pressed a sheaf of bills into Brenda’s hand. She made a low noise in her throat, and I dug for more. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, hating the shame that burned through my skin. My mother would be so hurt to know I’d sunk to this level. Nothing would excuse it.

Though perhaps even that was wishful thinking. My mother had been gone for so many years. She’d walked away from the life my father had given her when I was small, saying a boy needed his father. She hadn’t been ready to be a mother. I’d known that all along. The nannies my father had paid for had helped fill in the gaps. My father hadn’t been willing to let her go, but eventually he had. She’d started over again somewhere far away, and she hadn’t left a forwarding address. Cards and packages had arrived for a while, until those too had stopped. I was no longer a boy, and no longer needed my mother’s censure to tell me I had sinned. I knew it every moment I looked in the mirror.

“No, no, this is too much,” Brenda breathed, and I wondered if she’d ever said those words before either. I doubted most men were nearly generous enough for what she gave them.

“Take it,” I insisted, pressing more cash into her hands. I didn’t know how much I’d given her. Five hundred dollars, maybe. It still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t rich, but I got by. And she deserved so much more than this. “Thank you for being here tonight,” I said, meaning it genuinely.

If not for Brenda and her kind eyes, I might not have been able to follow-through, and then Carly would’ve been screwed.

She still might be, but at least it wouldn’t be on my watch.

“You realize I would’ve done it for free, right?” Her quiet question cut through my recriminations and made me jerk my head up to meet her gaze. “I’ve seen you in here before, and you always seemed so removed. As if you weren’t really close to anyone.”

Truer words.

“I wanted to make you feel good.” She shrugged. “The money…well, it’s nice, and I appreciate it. But I was curious too.” She smiled almost shyly at me. “You’re much more commanding behind closed doors than I expected.”

“I’m sorry,” I began again—

“No, no, I liked it.” She brushed her fingers over the ends of my too long hair then yanked her hand back as if she’d been scalded. Or as if she feared reprisal. “The next time you need…anything, you come see me, okay? I’m happy to do this for you.” Her lashes lowered. “Or more.”

Or more
. Christ. She wanted me to fuck her. Believed I wanted that too. And why wouldn’t she? I’d just exploded in her mouth.

But she couldn’t know I’d been imagining someone else. Two someone elses. One who’d touched me that way too few times in the scheme of things, and one who never would. I wouldn’t let her.

No matter what.

When Brenda turned away, I snagged her hand and drew her back. Light flared in her pretty dark eyes before dimming all too fast. “Why?” I asked softly. “Why do you do it? You’re so beautiful.” She flushed, and I kept going. “You could do anything.
Be
anything.”

She waited a while before answering. “What makes you think I’m not exactly where I want to be?”

“How could you be?” I countered. “The men here, they aren’t careful. They don’t treat you with respect—” I trailed off.

Damn, what a hypocrite I was. As if I had the right to judge anyone.

“Sex isn’t about respect. It’s about fulfilling a need, the same as if you ordered a drink at the bar. You pay more for good service. So I aspire to be good.” She gave me a cheeky little grin and a wink, then tugged her hand from mine and sashayed to the door. On the threshold, she turned back. “Thank you for this,” she said, waving the handful of green before discreetly tucking it into her bra. “But next time,
signore
, we’ll negotiate differently.”

She hadn’t been gone more than a few moments before the doorway filled again, this time with the man I’d come to the club hoping to see tonight. Carly had distracted me from making my usual rounds. Ensuring that I was seen where I needed to be, and when.

“Giovanni.” Marco Constantinova’s booming voice made my hackles rise, as it always did. “It’s nice to see you taking advantage of the amenities.” His smirk grew. “I trust you enjoyed yourself this evening in my humble establishment.”

His
. Sure. Marco owned less than a fifth of the business, last I’d heard.

“I haven’t been here long, but yes.” I took a quick glance at my lap to ascertain my fly was zipped and rose to offer a hand to the other man. He clasped mine, shaking it with a firmness I might’ve respected had I not known the man was evil in a Hugo Boss suit. “Where is Naples?” I asked once the other man had stepped back.

“In Campania,” he said, his smirk deepening.

I laughed at his lame joke. Yes, Naples was in Italy, but we both knew which Naples I was referring to, and it wasn’t the city.

“He had some business to attend to.” Marco smoothed a hand over his thin silver and purple striped tie. “You know how it is.”

“I do. I also know he promised to introduce me to Lorenzo tonight. That’s why I left the fight and came straight here.”

“No, you left the fight and came straight here because you couldn’t get your dick sucked before, so you needed it done after.” His mouth pulled into a tight line. “Brenda was a bad choice there, my friend.”

A chill passed over me. There was no such thing as idle chatter with men such as these, and I instantly feared for the petite brunette woman’s safety. Had I put her into harm’s way? Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Why is that?”

“She belongs to Lorenzo. He was on his way up to meet you, and met her on the stairs instead.” Slowly, Marco shook his head. “The little slut must’ve been had fifty guys inside her tonight with the amount of cash she had on her.”

It took everything I possessed not to shove this motherfucker aside and barrel through the club until I found Brenda and got her out of there. But then what? Was I supposed to try to save her like I hadn’t saved Emilia? I could hide her away in my studio apartment maybe, try to convince her this was no life for a young girl with such a bright future.

She’d had a bright future, until she met me.

“Where is Lorenzo now?” I asked slowly, clenching and unclenching my fists. Usually I was so careful with my tells, but I couldn’t hold back any more than I was at that moment. That Constantinova was still standing proved I had almost inhuman control, because I wanted him dead for even daring to utter the word
slut
. If anyone was a whore here, it was them. They were the ones without morals or regard for anything but fucking money. The green was all they cared about.

“He’s indisposed.”

I stared to push past him, but Marco grabbed my arm. He stroked his jaw, eyeing me as dispassionately as the butcher examined a slab of meat. “You might want to steer clear of the main room of the club right now, friend.”

I’m not your friend
. I nearly growled the words, but somehow I held back the bitterness that burned on my tongue. “Why is that?”

Deep down, I knew. Brenda wouldn’t get off with a warning. The group of men that I was trying to infiltrate viewed the girls as their property, and they wouldn’t see a sign of supposed disrespect as something to be taken lightly. Most of the ladies at the club moonlighted, and that was fine as long as they did it discreetly. But handfuls of money weren’t discreet. And fuck, I should’ve known better than to send her off with a target on her chest. I hadn’t realized she was spoken for—and by Lorenzo, especially—and that too was on me. It was my job to know. I’d been slacking on recon lately, choosing to spend the bare minimum of time to achieve my aims.

And now yet another innocent girl would pay. Because of me.

“Sit. We will talk business until Lorenzo can join us.” Marco gestured to the couch where I’d been seated. “You won your fight tonight. Lo will be pleased.”

Ignoring him, I strode toward the door. I had no intention of sitting if I could help Brenda. Fuck my cover. Fuck everything.

The scream halted me in my tracks. For an instant, I was sure it was Carly. Thin, high-pitched. Why had I left her alone in a place like this? Vipers cloaked themselves in expensive threads, and she wouldn’t know which ones to avoid.

Once the ice clogging my lungs cleared, I rushed out of the room and along the wide hall, scarcely aware of how quiet it had gone downstairs. The voices had turned into a low hum, and no one was laughing anymore.

I chanced a glance over the railing and the sight at the bottom of the spiral staircase made my lungs seize once again. A shout got trapped my throat, coming out as a pained gasp. It was too late.

The girl lay crumpled next to the last step, her long hair incapable of hiding the pool of dark fluid spreading across the black and white tiles. The red lights only made the scene more macabre. Her hair was dark, but for an instant it was reddish-gold, as bright as the setting sun.

Someone joined me at the rail and without looking, I knew it was Marco. He placed a placating hand on my arm, patting it as if he felt genuine remorse. “Accidents can strike at any time.”

“That was no accident,” I spat, unwilling to bite my tongue.

Marco’s gaze hardened. “I don’t see anyone stepping forward to point a finger, do you?”

Of course no one was stepping forward. To do so would be to put your head on a platter for Lorenzo and his goons. No one had that kind of death wish.

Except me. I courted death daily. If I won my latest fight or I died, either way I’d be closer to my goal. One step closer to eviscerating Emilia’s murderer or to being with her again. Or if there was no afterlife, to finally feeling nothing. No remorse, no guilt, no grief. Just…nothing.

That was a kind of heaven I’d never get to experience while my heart still beat.

“It’s a hard thing,” Marco said, clearly reading my silence as capitulation.

That’s what he called the senseless loss of life? Worst of all, this fuck was a distant cousin of Emilia’s. He, of all people, should hate the suffering caused for such insignificant reasons.

But then Emilia loving me hadn’t been considered insignificant at all. Her feelings for me—and my reciprocation—had been seen as deliberate defiance. Generations of our relatives had reviled each other, and we had no right to buck the trend.

“She was barely twenty,” I said under my breath, gripping the rail to keep from turning to bash the bastard’s head in. I could kill him in a matter of minutes. The police were on their way no doubt, but he’d be dead before he even hit the floor.

And everything I’d worked for up until this point would be ruined.

“Twenty-two,” he said, as if that made a difference. She was my age, and she’d never even truly gotten a chance to live.

I said nothing, just focused on the breaths rattling my ribcage as I watched the people swarm around Brenda’s motionless body. Most people stayed far away. She’d become less than a bug to them, worse than a mess left behind by a pet. One woman simply stepped over the arm Brenda had thrown out in a futile effort to break her fall.

In the distance, sirens blared. Help was coming. Too late for her. For any of us.

“You should go,” Marco said in my ear. “In the mood Lo is in, he might tag you for soliciting. Along with your illegal fight record, you might be looking at more than a book-and-release.”

Incredulous, I stared at the other man. “He might nab me for soliciting when he just snapped her neck?”

Marco smiled, slow and sure. “Ah,
amico
, you have no evidence. And Lo, he is an upstanding member of this community. He has many friends on the force. Even in the courthouse.” He flicked a finger over the diamond stud in his ear, and two goons materialized out of nowhere. “It would be better, safer, for you if you left before the heat arrives.”

Fury rose up inside me, threatening to block my airway. I couldn’t walk away, not while she lay down there alone. No one was paying her any mind. Not Lorenzo, nor any of the other waitresses I’d seen her laughing with more than once. They knew better. When someone got hurt, the rest of the rats got lost.