Body on the Stage (10 page)

“A James Bond-type character?”
suggested Cathy, with a sideways grin at Dennis. “Just a generic
spy figure. Does that appeal, Mark?”

“Oh yeah,” he enthused. “I love
that! All dressed up in a swanky dinner jacket, leaping off the
balcony and swinging onto the stage with a red rose in my teeth to
give to some lucky woman in the front row – very cool!”

“And peeling off the jacket to
reveal sexy black holsters and hidden weapons,” mused Adam. “I like
it. Put that one down, Cathy. Now Warwick, what about you?”

“Fireman,” said Warwick firmly.
“And I want to come down through the ceiling.”

“That might be tricky in full
gear,” said Adam, “but we can certainly give it a try. Good
suggestion – all the ladies love a fireman.”

“What’s your idea, Simon?” asked
Cathy. “You’re a dancer so we should be able to do something really
exciting with you.”

“I can’t decide between a cop or
a street kid,” he said, smoothing back his blond hair. “A cop is a
kind of traditional fantasy figure for hen parties and a street kid
isn’t, but I could do some great hip-hop moves that would bring the
house down.”

Adam looked thoughtful, a
slender forefinger against his lips.

“How about coming on as a cop,
all very straight with your uniform and a big long night-stick, but
then you peel off that layer and there’s a cheeky street kid
underneath. You can toss your police hat into the wings and someone
will throw you a cap in return to stick on sideways.” He pondered
for a moment. “The shoes might be a problem though.”

Dennis had an idea and couldn’t
help interrupting. “Couldn’t you have just the uppers of plain
black shoes, attached on top of brightly coloured trainers with
elastic or something? They’d simply slip off when you were ready to
reveal the ones underneath.”

Cathy clapped her hands. “Good
one, Dennis! You’re wasted making the coffee – come and join
wardrobe!”

He waved her away and went back
to pouring coffee, while still keeping an ear on their
discussion.

“All right Ricky,” said Adam,
“we can hear from you now. Have you any thoughts on what you’d like
to be?”

“Yeah, an army dude, parachuting
in with guns blazing, ammo bandoliers across my chest, great big
knives strapped to my legs, and all the camouflage gear. That would
be awesome!”

Adam cocked his head. “That
sounds rather more like your fantasy than one for the women in the
audience. A bit violent for today’s market. What else have you
got?”

“How about a headmaster,
striding on in a long black gown with a nice whippy cane? I could
bend the girls over and give them a good spanking.”

There was a universal wincing at
the idea.

“Possibly not quite
appropriate,” said Adam, “to combine teachers and sex like
that.”

“Well if you’re going to rubbish
all my suggestions,” huffed Ricky, “what can you come up with then,
eh?”

Adam considered him. “How about
a racing car driver? We could set the scene with back projection
and sound effects, and you’d come on in full leathers and
helmet.”

“He could strip down to
chequered boxers,” offered Cathy, “and maybe even spray champagne
as a finale.”

Ricky smiled happily. “Could I
be The Stig?” he asked. “Or just a guy in a white suit and helmet
that
could
be the Stig?” He bounced in his seat. “Ooh ooh,
I’ve even got the T-shirt that says ‘I am the Stig’ that I could
wear under the suit. That would be cool!”

Adam agreed. “I’ll look into it
– make sure there’s no trademark or copyright issues to trip us up.
If there aren’t, then you can be the Stig. As long as you remember
our little discussion from this morning.”

Ricky nodded eagerly. “Yeah,
sure. You can count on me.”

“Right then, we’re down to you,
Jayden, our trusty understudy. You might as well have your own
routine because you need to be able to replace any of our star
performers and we can’t have two spies or two Stigs in a
performance. What would you like to be?”

“I’ve been thinking about that.
What are the girls swooning about these days? Vampires! Could I do
some kind of vampire routine? A least it would save putting on that
awful fake tan.”

“Great idea, Jayden,” said
Cathy. “Well done for thinking of the woman’s perspective. We can
start Team Jayden – forget Edward and Jacob! What do you think,
Adam?”

“My fall-back character was
going to be a cowboy, but I think a vampire is much more
interesting. Do you think you can choreograph an appropriate
routine for him?”

“Sure, no worries.”

Dennis couldn’t help himself.
“Er, excuse me butting in again, but don’t vampires fly? Could we
arrange that somehow?”

“That’s a staging issue,” mused
Adam. “Who’s head of construction?”

“Tony – he’s down in the
workshop, shall I get him?” Dennis hurried off at Adam’s nod.

Tony arrived, dusting sawdust
off his jeans. “What miracles do you want this time, Adam? The
impossible, or merely the illusion of magic?”

“We want to believe a man can
fly, Tony. More specifically, Jayden here.”

“Piece of cake. We’ve got the
harness from Peter Pan a couple of years ago – stick a couple of
hefty blokes up on the fly floor and Bob’s your uncle – Jayden will
be zooming about all over the stage.”

“What about flying over the
audience? Could we do that, do you think?”

Jayden and Tony looked equally
startled.

“You sure you want to put the
audience at risk of having some great lump of a thespian landing on
them? Oh, no offence, Jayden.”

“I’m sure you can find a way to
do it safely,” said Adam. “Start thinking about it, anyway. If it
turns out not to be practical we can always come up with an
alternative.”

“Aye aye, Captain. I shall
endeavour to make it so.”

“Thank you Number One,” returned
Adam smoothly. “Right, we’ve made a good start with our list of
routines. Put your minds to thinking about possible moves, props,
costumes and so on. Cathy, you and I will put our heads together
shortly to look at choreography. Thanks everyone, that’ll do for
today.”

The Green Room emptied out
except for Tony, Dennis and Cathy.

“Right, I’m off back to the
workshop where I was so rudely interrupted. Doc, bring those
coffees down when you’re ready, will you?” Tony glanced at Cathy
and winked. “No rush mate, take your time.”

As he disappeared towards the
workshop, Cathy laughed. “Subtle, isn’t he?”

“Like a bulldozer,” muttered
Dennis. “Sorry about that. Look, would you like a coffee too, while
you’re here? I mean, since I’m making some anyway.”

“Do they stretch to tea in this
establishment? I’d love a cup of tea if you can fix it.”

“Let me see what I can arrange.
Take a seat while you’re waiting.”

He hurriedly rummaged about in
the kitchen cupboards. Surely there was tea somewhere. At last, in
a drawer under some ratty old dishtowels, he found a box of
teabags. “Coming right up,” he assured her, pouring boiling water
into the mug. “Milk and sugar?”

“No thanks, just black.”

“I’ll join you when I’ve
delivered these,” he said, hurrying towards the workshop with the
long-awaited coffees for the crew. “Back in a tick.”

A few minutes later he joined
her at the battered wooden table that was still covered with notes
from the meeting.

“How do you go about inventing
choreography for this sort of thing?” he asked. “I can understand
ballet and ballroom dance and the traditional sort of thing, but
strip routines? Where do they come from? Is there some sort of
training school?”

“No, there’s no Performing Arts
Diploma in striptease, if that’s what you mean! It’s a learn on the
job kind of thing. I spent a couple of years with the Rawhide
Cowboys a while back – they were a local version of the
Chippendales, and I picked up a lot of moves from the guy who
devised their routines. He was great at knowing what women would
respond to, and he showed me how to avoid the usual mistakes. Some
directors use classically-trained dancers but that always shows up
on stage – they look too graceful. Women at these shows want strong
athletic manly men, not ballet dancers. At the other end of the
spectrum you get the guys who are almost pornographic, making
suggestive moves that really put women off. A little sexy teasing
is right, but aggressive thrusting and blatant vulgarity is a real
turn-off.” She made a face and Dennis laughed.

“It’s more complicated than I
thought, especially when you have to factor in the guy’s
personality and chosen theme. I can’t wait to see what you come up
with, especially for the vampire.”

“Yes, I hope they don’t get too
carried away with him. He’s only the understudy after all – his
routine probably won’t be seen at all unless one of the guys gets
sick or injured.” She drained her mug. “Thanks for the cuppa. I’d
better get back to the gym now. I’m still figuring out this damned
anomaly in my accounts and there’s no end to the administrative
details when you run a gym. I’ll see you there tomorrow?”

“You bet,” he said warmly.
“Wouldn’t miss it!”

To his surprise, he found he
meant it.

When he arrived at Intensity
next day he found Vincenzo, Warwick and a stocky dark-haired girl
standing by the reception counter. Her artfully tangled mane of
hair was a match for Warwick’s unruly locks, and she was squeezed
into a tight T-shirt and leopard print leggings.

“You are one fortunate fellow,
Warwick,” Vincenzo said. “This heavenly creature is very
beautiful.” He turned to the girl and kissed her hand. “For you, I
will make a special routine to polish that beauty into brilliance.
You trust Vincenzo, I will make you shine, yes? Come, Leonie, I
will take you to the cardio machines and show you just what to do,
si
?”

Leonie looked back at Warwick in
mute appeal as she was towed away but he just laughed. “You go,
girl! See you in an hour.” Seeing Dennis standing there he
shrugged. “She could lose a few kilos, won’t do her any harm. Might
as well make use of the gym, eh? She was just sitting at home
eating whatever was in the cupboards, so this way the groceries
will last longer. He’ll get her in shape and I get the
benefit.”

Dennis tried not to look
shocked. If he had a girlfriend, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t
want Vincenzo anywhere near her. “Don’t you worry about letting her
go off with him like that?

Warwick didn’t seem concerned.
“That little fairy? You can tell he’s gay by that frigging perfume
he uses. His interest in girls is all an act. Besides, he wouldn’t
dare mess with my woman – I’d break him in two.” He loomed
menacingly over Dennis. “You know I’d do it, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course mate, no doubt
at all,” said Dennis, worried by the light of battle that had
suddenly filled Warwick’s eyes. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. So, er,
what’s your workout today, upper or lower?”

“Lower,” he said. “Gonna give
the quads a good hammering after the cardio. You?”

“We’re on upper. I need more
definition on my lats.” He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant –
it was just a phrase he’d heard the others using. Warwick burst out
laughing. “You’ll have to find them first, man! Go do some
pull-downs and see if they pop out from the blubber!” He slapped
Dennis on the back. “Just kidding man, you’re fine. Good to see you
making the effort.”

The comment really stung, and
Dennis was relieved to see Mark arrive so he could escape from the
conversation. He knew Warwick was just teasing, but it was the sort
of cruel remark that Louise would have made.

Now he just wanted to get on
with his workout. If he timed it right he’d finish as Cathy came
out of her yoga class. But first he watched as Vincenzo put Leonie
through her paces on the cross-trainer.

Before starting it up, Vincenzo
stood behind her on the treadmill, showing her how to hold the
handles and move them back and forth. He seemed to be standing
closer than necessary, and Dennis very much doubted Warwick’s
assertion that Vincenzo was gay. Just because he wore bright
colours and had immaculate grooming, it didn’t mean he was any less
interested in women. Leonie was plainly enjoying the attention.

“Hey, Dennis – you going to sit
there dreaming all night?” Mark’s abrupt tone shook Dennis from his
trance. “Time to spot my lifts, OK? You remember how to spot, don’t
you? If I start to waver you take the weight and get it onto the
peg, yeah?”

“Sorry Mark, didn’t mean to keep
you waiting.”

“Well just try to stay with me,
will you?”

Dennis blinked. “Are you OK,
Mark? Feeling all right?”

Mark rubbed his hands over his
face. “Yes, I’m fine. Sorry I snapped. Just been feeling a bit fed
up lately.” He grinned ruefully. “I may have bitten off more than I
can chew with being in this show. My job’s getting more and more
pressured and I hardly have time to see Sherry. I don’t know what
she does when I’m not around. We never talk, and it’s been ages
since we went out together. If she didn’t come to the gym I’d
barely get a chance to speak to her.” He looked down at his beefy
arms. “If I wasn’t looking so damn good I think she’d give up on me
altogether. Come on dude, let’s make more muscle. It seems to be
the only thing I’m good at right now.”

Vincenzo came over to them and
offered to spot for Mark.

“You go do your sets, Dennis,
I’ll look after our main man here, OK?” He took up position at the
head of the bench. “So, Mark, you doin’ well, eh? Bulking up fast.
You’re going for the bodybuilding contest later this year,
si
? It’s after the show, so you’ll have plenty of time.
You’re looking great now but by then you’ll be truly spectacular,
man.” He waited patiently for a reply while Mark finished his
lifts, helping him to replace the bar onto the pegs. Mark groped
for his hand towel on the floor and wiped his face.