Body of Ash (7 page)

It wasn’t smart to have skipped school again, but after sleeping in until noon, Katie couldn’t see the point in walking the twenty minute trek to the high school, only to be dismissed in another hour. After awaking to Brian Jones’s looking for her mom, Katie suffered from an acute case of boredom. She cooked a frozen pizza in the toaster oven, changed her outfit a couple of times, and fussed with her hair. 

Pulling on her tresses, Katie was ready to chop it all off. It was a nuisance her mother insisted she keep long. Katie didn’t think so. She wanted to look like Ashley Green or Natalie Portman, actresses who were fearless about going short. Instead she felt like a golden retriever - over fluffed and over rated. Running her fingers through it had become a nervous habit. She didn’t even notice she was doing it until the long blond pieces flapped around her face like a Barbie doll.

When her mother came home from her trip to Winsted, Katie had hoped Marge would keep her promise to take her shopping for a Halloween costume. Dreaming of an escape from the stifling apartment, s
he had been looking forward to fresh air all day
. She was tired of being home, tired of being by
herself
, night after night. When Marge only half listened to anything Katie had to say during dinner, she knew her mom would be making excuses to leave again.

Another night alone – I’m glad I’m so special.

Stretching across the couch, Katie thumbed through a dozen channels. Nothing looked appealing. There were a few good movies listed on HBO and Cinemax, but her mother couldn’t afford a bigger cable package. Marge could barely scrape by with her flower shop salary and the child-support check that Katie’s loser dad sent over once a month. Asking
the woman to fork over an extra fifty bucks for good TV seemed wrong.

It was hard thinking of her father. It was his fault that she was alone all of the time. If it wasn’t for the divorce, they would still be a family – with descent cable.

Instead, Katie spent most evenings and weekends alone. When her mother wasn’t at work, the woman was out drinking and dancing, trying to find a man to take care of them.

Even gross men like that horn dog Jones.

Her father, who she preferred to call Williston, despite his constant annoyance when she did, phoned every Sunday afternoon.

Like his weekly check in
could make up for the fact that he walked out
…or failed to take me with him.

Katie was thirteen when he moved. At the time, she picked up on some of the details. Through the commotion of packed boxes and angry tones, she knew change was happening, but her lack of life experience couldn’t prepare her for the world to suddenly be a different place. As hushed sobs sailed from behind her parents’ bedroom door, she heard her mother plead for him to stay and be the man he was
supposed to be. In an angry rebuttal, her father argued that none of them even knew who he was.

The terrible night was followed by a terrible year.
             

It took months before her mother got out of bed. When she finally did, Marge’s savings account was empty so they moved into a cramped apartment on High Street. Rents in Canaan were pricy and there wasn’t much to choose from. Her father lived in the house for a little while, but eventually it had to be sold. The furnishings, toys, pieces of her childhood, were packed up and left in a storage facility. 

The worst part wasn’t losing her home – it was witnessing her parents take on new identities. Her once affectionate mother had morphed into a stranger bent on finding a new husband by bleaching her hair and having her breasts upgraded to a size D. Meanwhile, her Dad suddenly had a “partner” named Thomas who he began playing house with.

I changed
, too.

A few times, Williston suggested she come by his place for a visit, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t because her father was gay, she believed homosexuality was genetic and he didn’t have a choice. No, it was because he made everything different. Williston couldn’t be the nice guy now, even if he claimed to be happier. He hurt them too much when he left.

Tired of the television and her memory forcing her to relive a four year long ache, Katie reached for her cell phone.  If there was one thing the divorce taught her, it was that nothing really good ever lasted. Being seventeen and having the apartment to herself on a Thursday night could be interesting if she wanted to get creative. Her mother had a bottle of Absolute Vodka just waiting to be enjoyed. Katie might as well make the best of a crappy situation. 

Scrolling through her contacts, she wondered who might be free tonight.

Davey Shaw had been looking good lately and she hadn’t fooled around with him since summer. After a few years on the wrestling team, the boy had an upper body to drool over and a well sculpted butt that was quite the turn on. Plus, he could score a little weed from his older brother to give the night even more of a kick.

Davey wasn’t her first choice. She had a thing for Jason Thompson, but Katie knew it would never happen between them. He was a good guy – too good for her. The senior had been dating Rachel for a year. Although she doubted a churchy kid like Rachel could be meeting Jason’s needs sexually, the two had something special. They were always holding hands and gazing at each other when they should be listening to Mr. Davis in homeroom.

She found it ironic that her mother would turn to Rachel’s father to have an affair. When Marge mentioned her desire to find religion, Katie thought she meant the kind with Jesus in it.  Having an affair with a married man was one excess Katie turned her nose up at. Love never lasted, but she didn’t want to be the reason it ended for anyone.

People
screw their lives up on their own, they don’t need my help.

1

RACHEL

Thursday 8:58 PM

The wind left a trail of goose-bumps across Rachel’s skin. Hugging her knees, she would
rather freeze than go inside the
house. The pink sweater she had carefully selected for the evening offered no c
omfort.
With its sweetheart neckline, she
had hoped to look older. Now, she didn’t care what anyone thought. 

How could she possibly
live at a girl’s
academy?  She was in her senior year. A time for applying to colleges, running
the yearbook committee and going to prom. The thought of trying to fit in somewhere new was unnerving.  Her life was here.

Rachel needed a way out. Even Nicole and Beth couldn’t help. They had been attending New Hope together since they were little.
She never meant to distance herself
from them
. At one time, they spent ever
y weekend together, but they weren’t that close
anymore.
In place of youth group and Bible camp, time was spent studying for the SATs or working part time jobs. Nicole’s single mom needed her to watch her younger sister and Beth worked weekends and after school at her family’s deli. Rachel spent most of her summer
with Jason
. Once school began, the ease of their friendship had become outgrown. Now that she needed a girlfriend to confide in, it felt
too late.

A flash of movement just bey
ond the walkway caught her eye.
For a brief moment, hope
sprang
thr
ough her that
Jason
had come back
.
Could he have talked to Shannon and Carl? Was he willing to fight for her? Holding her left hand to her chest, she clasped her ring to her heart, making a wish.

Please God…
I would let anyone take me, but let it be him.

But, as the figure stepped under the street light, she recognized the platinum
blonde hair.
Dragging the back of her hand across her cheeks, she pulled herself up.
Rac
hel’s
face was wet from her tears and the breez
e twisted her curls into knots. Her butt
ached from sitting on the steps
and her throat suffered from the pressure of crying. Holding in a pit full of hurt in the center of her chest, t
he last thing she wanted to do was talk to Katie Finch’s mother. 

Did he really sleep with her?

The woman looked like she never ate. She wasn’t unattractive, but her skin hung loose around her jaw and her collar bones jutted
at sharp angles
from her body.  Rachel imagined she was the kind of woman who had a cigarette and a Coke
and called it a meal. When Ms. Finch
smiled, her teeth were t
oo big for her face and her eyelids
were painted a thick cobalt blue.

Why would my father want her?

Rachel knew adults got divorced. All of her friend’s parents had gone through it. She just never thought her parents were
susceptible
. They liked each other well enough
and even though
they were old, they weren’t a hideous
couple. The two didn’t even argue.

When Katie
cornered her in the girl’s locker room
and said she caught the Reverend having sex with her mother, Rachel didn’t believe her. The girl was a drama que
en and loved embarrassing Rachel whenever she could, especially when Katie had her nasty friend Darla hanging around
. She also knew that Katie had a thing
for Jason and was jealous. Her boyfriend
always said he had no interest in her. She dressed too s
kimpy and wore too much
makeup – just like her mother.

At lunch, Katie
would sit on the guy’
s laps and
let them feed her bites of their food. With a suggestive show of sucking on their fingers, she
made sure everyone knew who her latest conquest was. There was even a rumor that she would take
select
boys into the band room closet for a “good time.” 

When Katie dropped the news on her, she said it so matter-of-factly that
Rachel thought
the girl
was just messing with her head, until the insistent blond revealed a tidbit she couldn’t have made up
.

Dad has an ugly ruby birthmark on his
thigh. 

Rachel watched
Marge
Finch stroll up the walkway. Although she wore a hopeful s
mile, her glossy eyes were locked on the front entrance.
Rachel couldn’t imagine why she wo
uld be stopping at their house, especially this time of night.
Her parents had a strict “must call first” po
licy when it came to visitors.
Even the cable man couldn’t drop in without her mother vacuuming the rugs and polishing the furniture.