Blurred Memories (15 page)

“
It was just before you…you
went away,” she said quietly. “You sent me on a date with Marc, and
the next morning you brought me breakfast and we showered together
and you said…you said…”

Her eyes were gleaming with
the same tears he could hear in her voice, but she didn’t cry. She
simply fell silent, and Blake finished for her.

“
I said I love you,” he
whispered as flashes of sensation and images coalesced into an
actual memory. “And then you let me…”

His gaze dropped to the
crook of her neck and to the two small round scars that couldn’t be
mistaken for anything other than a vampire’s bite mark.

“
I let you bite me,” she
finished. “Because I love you too. And trust you.”

Another memory tried to
superimpose itself over the present: Kate’s neck, torn and bloodied
as she took her last breath. Blake closed his eyes and pushed that
image away.

It hadn’t been Kate. It
hadn’t been Marc. It hadn’t been real.

“
Blake? Are
you—”

“
Yes,” he interrupted, his
voice as shaky as Kate’s. Yes, he was fine. Yes, he remembered. But
most importantly… “Yes, I’d like to take a shower with you. Just a
shower.”

“
Nothing more,” she
promised eagerly.

When he opened his eyes
again, she was smiling. Truly smiling. Blake had almost forgotten
how lovely her smile was when it wasn’t strained or forced. He
hoped he could be the cause of many more of her smiles in the
future.

* * * *

It was like a dance, Kate
told herself as she watched Blake undress himself. Her hands
clenched and unclenched again. She would have liked to help, but
she didn’t dare to push her luck by taking the next step without
knowing which way Blake was going. It was a dance, but she couldn’t
hear the music, only Blake did, and she never knew when the tempo
might accelerate or slow down. All she could do was take her cues
from him and try not to step on his toes—try not to hurt
him.

“
Aren’t you undressing?” he
asked suddenly.

Startled out of her
thoughts, Kate practically jumped.

“
Oh, of course,” she said,
already grabbing the hem of her t-shirt to pull it over her head.
“I just…”

She didn’t finish. Voicing
the thought that he might want to help her was too close to
leading, when it was so much safer to follow his pace.

She undressed quickly,
leaving the oversized t-shirt and men’s boxers she used as
sleepwear on the counter, then joined Blake in the shower stall. He
waited until she had closed the curtain before he turned on the
water. The first few seconds were icy cold, and Kate couldn’t help
but gasp and move back, out of reach of the spray. She wrapped her
arms around herself, shivering. Under the water, Blake was utterly
still, his skin like pale marble, his cock hanging uninterested
between his legs.

“
Sorry,” he said, not quite
meeting her eyes. “I should have let it warm up for
you.”

Kate pushed a smile to her
lips. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “I was just surprised, that’s
all.” She held a hand under the water. It was already warming.
“Didn’t it feel cold to you?” she asked and stepped closer
again.

Blake shrugged and tilted
his head up toward the spray. “It’s just nice to be able to bathe,”
he said tonelessly. “Nicer when it’s warm, but water is still
water.”

Kate picked up the bar of
scented soap from the ledge and mulled over his words. She
suspected another tidbit of what life had been like in the demon
dimension hid behind them, and she could have asked Blake to
confirm it, but what would be the point? She didn’t want him to
think about those dark years. She wanted him to turn toward more
pleasant memories.

“
Would you like me to soap
your back?” she offered. “Like you did for me back
then?”

Blake blinked water out of
his eyes and looked at her for a few seconds—was he
remembering?—before he slowly turned away, presenting his back to
her. Kate wet the soap and worked up a lather in her hands before
she started to wash Blake’s back. The smell of lavender filled the
shower. She could have used the washcloth hanging from a small
plastic hook, but she wanted to feel his skin under her fingers; it
wasn’t often that she was able to touch him like this, without
fearing that he might bolt at any moment.

As she rubbed soap into his
skin, starting at his shoulders and making her way down the smooth,
unblemished expanse of his back, she couldn’t help but recall the
many scars that had crisscrossed his entire back when he had been
returned to them. She had washed him then, too, rinsing away grime
and dried blood, and he had flinched at every one of her touches
and tried to get away from her with pitiful little cries. He had
made so much progress since then…and yet, they still had a long way
to go.

Little by little, Blake
started to relax under Kate’s hands. He bowed his head forward, and
his shoulders loosened. She set the soap down and started again
from the top, but this time her touch was stronger, her fingers
digging into his muscles, massaging rather than simply
stroking.

“
Feels good,” he murmured
when she finished, his voice all but swallowed by the sound of
running water.

Kate laid a kiss in the
center of his back before stepping closer to him. She pressed her
chest tight against him, resting her cheek against his shoulder,
and carefully encircled him with her arms.

“
Is this okay?” she asked
quietly.

Blake’s hands covered hers,
and their fingers entwined in a gesture that had once been
familiar.

“
Yeah. That feels good,
too. Not sure how I feel about you making me smell girly,
though.”

Kate opened her mouth to
apologize, but frowned when she realized he was teasing her. Tears
filled her eyes; it wasn’t a rare occurrence, these days, but these
were happy tears, and that didn’t happen much. Blake joking with
her was certainly cause enough for joy.

“
I thought you liked
lavender,” she protested weakly, her throat tight with
emotion.

Blake turned in her embrace,
his arms slipping ever so slowly and carefully around her. Kate
held her breath. This, too, happened much too rarely.

“
I like it on you,” he
said, looking down at her with a lopsided smile. “I always did. And
I m—” He closed his eyes for a second and shook his head, sending
water flying everywhere. When he opened his eyes again, they burned
with determination. “I missed that smell when I
was…away.”

Kate’s arms tightened around
him, and she couldn’t stop her fingers from digging into his sides.
She never wanted to let go.

“
And I missed you,” she
said, choking up a little and burying the words against his chest.
“I missed you so, so much.”

He pressed a tentative kiss
to her temple—and they both gasped when the water suddenly turned
icy. Kate scrambled back, immediately regretting breaking contact
with Blake. He shut off the water hurriedly before turning an
apologetic look to her.

“
I’m sorry, I—”

She reached out to him and
laid two fingers across his lips, stopping him
mid-apology.

“
You have nothing to be
sorry for,” she assured him, and she wasn’t only talking about the
water.

Whether he understood or
not, he nodded once and didn’t say another word. He stepped out of
the shower first and picked up a large towel from the metal rack on
the wall. He draped it around Kate when she joined him, and she
thanked him with a smile.

They dried themselves and
each other in silence. Kate slipped her sleep clothes back on,
while Blake strode out of the bathroom in the nude. Part of her had
hoped he would go to bed like that, but when she followed him, she
found him pulling on a pair of boxers. Marc’s, she was sure of it.
Like the ones she wore.

The realization made her
think about Marc for the first time since Blake had returned to the
room. Where was he? Was he still talking to Jen? What could he
possibly have to say to her? She had half a mind to ask Blake if he
knew what it could be about, but in the end she climbed into bed
and didn’t say anything. Blake seemed calm, relaxed, and she was
loath to break this moment of peace—especially when he joined her
and, slowly but without prompting, rested a hand on her
stomach.

She rolled toward him, and
his hand slid up to rest at her waist. The room was dark, the only
source of light coming from the bathroom, but it was enough for
Kate to distinguish Blake’s features. His head rested on the pillow
just inches from hers, and while his eyes were closed already, she
doubted he was asleep.

“
I’d like to kiss you,” she
whispered. “Just…just a little kiss. Would that be all
right?”

A few long, interminable
seconds passed before Blake finally answered. “Just a little kiss,”
he repeated.

Kate moved closer to him.
His fingers flexed on her waist, clutching her tightly for a moment
before relaxing. She pressed her lips to his mouth and took exactly
what she had asked for: a small, innocent kiss. She wanted a lot
more than that, but for now, it would be enough.

“
Thank you,” she whispered
when she pulled back.

Blake echoed the words back
at her. Slipping into dreams hadn’t been so easy in a long
time.

Chapter 13

Jen agreeing to guide Marc
into the demon dimension was only the first step. Marc needed to
know everything she did about the prison, and he grilled her on it
for hours, sometimes asking the same question in different ways to
see if she would give a different answer or more detail. He didn’t
know whether she was still under the influence of the truth spell
Simon had performed on her, but he wasn’t worried about that
anymore. Now that he understood what had happened to her and how
she had come to work for the demons—now that he knew she wanted
nothing more than to find a way out—he trusted her to tell the
truth. And if she lied… Well, she would be right by his side when
they went through. If she lied, he’d make sure it was the last time
she betrayed anyone.

“
You already asked that,”
she sighed when he asked again about the number of demons that
protected the prison.

He had moved the cot he had
brought in for her to the center of the room so that she could lie
down, although her shackled feet were still on the floor. She
looked at him impatiently from under the arm curled over her
eyes.

“
Once you make it past the
guards outside, the protection inside is minimal. They’re not
afraid of prisoners breaking out.” She snorted and covered her eyes
again. “I doubt anyone ever has broken out,” she finished,
muttering darkly. “Can I sleep now? It has to be almost morning. If
we’re going to the other side tonight, we both need to get some
rest.”

As much as Marc hated to
admit it, she was right. He was tired too, both physically and
mentally, worn out by a night of physical fighting and emotional
upheaval.

After Marc left Jen,
however, he felt reluctant to return to the room he shared with
Kate and Blake. Part of him was afraid he’d only get there to
discover that Blake had had another meltdown that Marc hadn’t been
able to prevent and had probably caused. And yet again he’d be at a
loss for how to soothe Blake.

Still, with nowhere else to
go, Marc made his way back up to their floor and descended the
hallway as quietly as he could. As far as Marc knew, the squad had
quarters on this floor, while the rest of the hotel was inhabited
by the town’s soldiers. Simon’s room was somewhere at the end of
the hallway, and Daniel’s at the opposite end.

He realized that he didn’t
have a key card for his room when he saw that the door was propped
open with a shoe. The bathroom light was even left on for him. He
was grateful that they had remembered him. The feeling lasted until
he quietly entered the room and found Kate and Blake in bed,
asleep, wrapped around each other.

So maybe they hadn’t been
waiting for him. Maybe they hadn’t missed him at all. They
certainly looked cozy enough.

A small question at the back
of his mind nagged at him until he had to know. He took a deep
breath in through his nose, already bracing himself for what he
would find. The scents of lust and sex he had expected weren’t
there, however, and all he could smell was the lavender soap Kate
liked so much.

Standing by one wall, he
watched them for a long moment, wishing he were with them, yet at
the same time unable to take the first step and join them. Blake
had been all but unable to touch Kate of his own accord the past
few months, but that was hard to remember when Blake held her
against him, his tenderness obvious even in his unconscious
state.

It hurt. It hurt more than
Marc wanted to admit to himself. He wasn’t used to standing on the
outside, looking in.

Earlier, he had tried to
comfort Blake and been rejected—twice. To see his Childe find
comfort in someone else was like a knife pushing into his gut, even
if that someone was Kate.