Blue Horizons (A Horizons Novel Book 1) (10 page)

“GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD.” Emma grins at me as I walk into the kitchen and head for the coffee pot. Both she and Cora are sitting at the table looking very pleased with themselves. They are both itching to say “I told you so,” and I turn my back quickly so they can’t see me smile. I don’t know why I’m smiling—the evening definitely didn’t turn out like they think it did—but it still feels good.

“Morning,” I mumble.

“Spill it!” Emma yells at me and I jump. Both of them laugh.

“There’s nothing to tell.” And if there was, I don’t know if I would. I pour the coffee and walk over to the French doors off of the kitchen to open them. Only getting to be here for a few days, I need to soak up as much of the mountains as I can; clean, cold air rushes in, and it feels and smells so good.

“Not good enough, Av. Before you went out to call Mona, you practically bit my head off when I suggested you go over and talk to him, then the next thing I know you’re getting a ride home from him. You rode home with him! That is huge! We’re shocked and so proud of you! Now spill it. Tell us how you ended up with that piece of mancake and in his truck.”

Mancake.
The sound of this makes me grin and her comment about his truck has me reliving that feeling of freedom. The night air blowing across my face with the heat on our feet, some of my favorite music ever pumping through the sound system, and the excitement of knowing I was being spontaneous and enjoying the company of a guy. I briefly close my eyes and let out a sigh before turning to face them.

“I hate to burst your bubble, but there’s not really much to tell.” I pull out a chair and join them at the table. “He went out the back door, scared me, I rammed my knee into his balls, we had a few awkward moments, and then he drove me home. Nothing happened.”

“Wait, you crushed his junk?” Cora’s eyes widen with amusement and disbelief.

“Yep, he grabbed me to keep me from falling and I overreacted.” A flush burns up my neck and through my cheeks. Both girls burst out laughing, and I bite my lip.

“Av, that is so classic you. You haven’t been close to any guy that we know of in years, and your relationship with him immediately starts out with you and his junk.” Emma leans back in her chair, smiling from ear to ear.

Years . . . it has been years. Seven to be exact. Maybe that’s why in spite of the panic attack, my memory of last night has me smiling and tips toward the memorable side.

Covering my face with my hand, I pinch my eyes shut. “Oh my God, can we please stop talking about his junk? And I don’t have a relationship with him. I don’t even know him.” In another lifetime though, I think I might like to.

“Did he kiss you goodnight?” I peek through my fingers at Cora.

“Be serious.” My mind drifts to an image of his perfect face, those full lips, and I can’t help but wonder, what would it be like to kiss him? I was so worried last night that he would in some way be deceitful with ill intentions, that kissing him never even crossed my mind. But now that it has, I’m disappointed. I think I might like to kiss him.

“I am. I got a good look at him last night on the porch without his hat on and you were given the perfect opportunity.” She
would
see it as an opportunity. Cora loves kissing guys. She’s always said she should have been an actress, because then she could kiss lots of handsome guys with no strings attached. That it would be the perfect job for her.

“It wasn’t like that.” Not even close. However, there’s no forgetting what it felt like to be pressed up against him. My head slid right under his chin, his warmth had immediately surrounded me, and all of our points lined up perfectly. His fingers as they ran across my head and under my hair felt so good. I can only imagine what they would feel like everywhere else.

“Well, at least you’ll get your chance today!” Emma chimes in.

“What do you mean?” I squeeze the coffee cup, not wanting to alert them to the fact I just got nervous.

“We invited them back over to barbeque this afternoon,” she says so nonchalantly, like having guys over is just an everyday thing.

“You did what?!” Oh no, my heart starts racing. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to see him again, I just never thought that I would. What do I say? He must think I’m a complete nutcase after the way I behaved last night.

“Relax. We’re just going to cook some food and hang out down by the lake. I really didn’t think it would be a big deal. Besides, it’s been a really long time since we’ve had guys around and you didn’t mind being with him last night.” I hear what Emma is saying, but now is not last night.

The two of them are watching me and Cora smiles. Oh no, Cora. She thinks he’s hot and guys are so easy for her. Nothing happened between him and I, what if he comes here, and he and Cora hit it off? I might be no good for him, but I know for a fact I wouldn’t like to see them together.

“Besides, it’s Mancake’s birthday,” she says.

“Why are you calling him ‘Mancake,’ and how do you know?” It irks me that they seem to know more about him than I do.

“Clay told us.”
Clay.
I wish I knew what his friend’s name is. I feel awful for asking him for a ride home and then not even asking him his name. “And we call him Mancake because he’s delicious and you like cupcakes over candy. Mancake fits him better for you than Mancandy.”

“Fits me?”

“Don’t be dense. Even if you don’t realize yet that you like him, you do. Or you never would’ve asked him for that ride home. Even Clay said it was out of character for him to offer you the ride. It seems your boy is a little bit of a loner too, and no, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. We asked,” Emma says smugly.

No girlfriend!

How can he be a loner too? He’s so sexy girls must flock to him, and he must think I’m no different than any other girl throwing herself at him. I’m still shocked at my behavior last night. I mean, who is this guy? In the last seven years, I haven’t socialized, ridden in a car with, or been touched by a guy that wasn’t someone I hadn’t known for a very long time, and all of these things happened on one night. I was so close to him that if he had lowered his arm, we would have been hugging. And although it was just one finger, he may as well have been holding my whole hand.

Oh well, in the end, it doesn’t matter if I like him or not. It was one night, one hour from start to finish, and after today, I’ll probably never see him again. I live in New York, my professional life is extremely restricting, and I could never be what he’d want me to be . . . assuming that he did want me, that is. I gave up on the idea of being with someone else a long time ago. Dating means affection, affection means touching, and touching is something I just can’t do.

It’s time to change the subject.

“Speaking of Clay . . .” I draw out. Emma’s entire face lights up at the mention of his name, but she deflects.

“No, no, no, we are not talking about me this morning; we are talking about you.” She points a finger at me.

“Well, I’m done talking about me. Time to take Tank out.” I stand and Tank jumps up at the sound of her name.

“You can run and hide all you want. Doesn’t change the fact that he’ll be here in a few hours.”

Placing my cup in the sink, I shoot them an indifferent look.

“Whatever.” If only that were the truth. I’d never tell them, but I am so excited to see him again. Butterflies take off in my stomach just thinking about his blue eyes and handsome face smiling at me. One thing is for sure—this weekend has definitely turned out different than planned.

Walking out the back door, I spot the familiar red of the kayaker from yesterday morning. I don’t know what it is about this particular one—there are always people boating on the lake—but the smooth and serene way he glides across the water is beautiful. I’ve never given much thought to kayaking, but maybe next summer when we’re here I’ll give it a try.

I hear the truck pull in as it crunches along the driveway and Emma sprints through the house to meet them. While she is excited, I’m so nervous I feel like I’m going to be sick.

A mixture of voices grows louder as they enter the house, and I squeeze my eyes shut knowing that any second now he is going to be in the kitchen. I am so embarrassed about last night. He must think I’m crazy. Not that it should matter to me what he thinks, but for some reason it does.

“Hey,” he says from behind me. The sound of his voice awakens the butterflies in my stomach. Act normal, Av. You can do this.

“Hi.” I wipe my hands on the apron tied around my waist and turn to face him.

Holy hotness. I thought he was hot last night, but here in the light of day he is just so much more. My eyes wander over the length of him. He’s tall and lean wearing a pair of jeans that hug perfectly across his thighs, and he has on a blue and red plaid button-down with the sleeves rolled up, highlighting his muscular forearms, plus a defined chest and broad shoulders. This man is a work of art, and by the time I make it to his face, a smirk showcasing that perfect dimple is winking at me to let me know I’m busted for checking him out.

I lean back against the counter and blow my hair out of my face. Every part of me that had been nervous about his behavior toward me today disappears by this one look from him. His eyes are so blue in contrast to his dark hair that they remind me of the sky on a cloudless spring day. His eyelashes are thick and as he watches me, there’s something so familiar about the two of us together that I’m immediately put at ease and those butterfly flurries change their tune to excitement.

“These are for you.” I push the plate in his direction. “Happy birthday.” My words are rushed; I feel like an idiot.

“You made me cupcakes?” He looks at the plate graciously before he looks back at me.

“Mmm hmm.” Apparently, I’ve forgotten how to talk.

“Thank you. I can’t remember the last time someone made me something like this.” He swipes the edge of one, covering his finger with icing, and then sucks it off. The move isn’t meant to be anything more than him tasting it, but my mouth goes dry. His eyes light up at the taste and he gives me a lopsided smile.

“Well, stick around then, I’ll be sure to fatten you up in no time. I love to bake.” Oh my God. What did I just say to him? His smile stretches across his face and I suck in a breath. It’s really not fair how good-looking this guy is.

“I think I just might,” he says thoughtfully. “Hi, I’m Ash, it’s nice to finally meet you.” He holds his hand out to me and with just a slight hesitation I slide mine into his. His hand engulfs mine, and its warm, comforting. Moments of last night flash through my mind as he had wrapped one hand around my head and held me to him. His thumb runs across the back of my hand, just a little bit rough, calloused—I like it.

He chuckles and it sounds so warm and friendly. “So this is the part in the conversation where you tell me what all your friends call you.”

“Ha, sorry. My friends call me Av.” We’re standing so close to each other and he smells so good.

His eyebrows shoot up. “As in Ava?”

The moment of truth. He hasn’t placed who I am yet, and I’m certain that the second he does, things will change. What does it hurt to let him think it’s Ava? It’s not like I’ll ever see him again after this weekend anyway. And I like the idea of being Ava to him. It’s like I get to be someone completely different with him, without most of my baggage, or maybe it’s that I’m finally getting to be myself.

“Ava sounds good,” I shrug my shoulders and his eyes narrow a little. It’s like he knows I’m not telling the truth, but he isn’t questioning me about it either. Does he already know who I am? Have we met before? No, I definitely would have remembered.

“Why do I feel like I know you?” I ask him.

“I’m not sure, but I have that same feeling. Trust me when I say I’d never forget someone as beautiful as you.”

People have been showering me with compliments my entire life, but coming from him, it feels like the first one ever. A blush burns under my skin.

“You do kind of look familiar though,” I challenge him.

“So do you.” His head tilts just a little as his gaze runs over me from head to toe and back. Oh my God . . . I think my heart just stopped. He smiles again and my heart melts. It's not that I've never noticed good-looking guys before—I have. But none of them have ever made me feel like this. My blood feels like it's vibrating as it flows through my body. I'm attracted to him and this is a foreign feeling. A feeling I’m not sure I like and quickly need to learn how to block. I feel . . . vulnerable and that makes me feel not in control.

People don’t understand my need to be in control. I need to say who, I need to say when, and I need to say how. Giving up any of those things makes me feel uncertain and unsure, and with that comes anxiety. Lots of anxiety. Living with constant anxiety is like being a live ticking time bomb. So easy to set off and so mentally, emotionally, and physically destructive when it does. But by being in control, I can slow the burning of the fuse and maintain some semblance of a normal life.

“I get that a lot. The whole blonde hair, blue eyes thing,” I mumble.