Blow (TKO #3) (10 page)

Chapter 19

Ruston

I throw my phone against the wall, hoping it will shatter, but it’s still in one damn piece. I’m a liar. I’m a piece of shit and I regret everything I told Tamilyn. I didn’t get my dick sucked. I didn’t even flirt with a single woman in that bar. I stood by Lance and Garrett the whole night. I should have never jumped to conclusions, and I have no right to be upset about any of it because I didn’t fight for her. I let her slip right through my fingers. She’s sailed away, and not in my direction. I’m solely to blame. I’m not looking forward to facing her this weekend at the big barbecue our families throw every year. I know he’s going to be there with her. I lie back on my bed and think about apologizing to her. I was out of line, but why would she want to talk to me again after how I just behaved? I’m a monster. I barely even recognize myself anymore.

The day drags on slowly, the guilt tormenting me the entire time. I sit with my dad through several meetings about an upcoming project, and my head is nowhere near where it should be. I just nod throughout and mindlessly jot down notes like a drone. I tap my phone to check the time and I know Austin is most likely still at the gym. I need to apologize, whether she wants to hear it or not. I glance around to make sure no one can see me and hurriedly type.

I was out of line for my message this morning.

Minutes pass and no response. I knew this was going to happen but I had to try. The meeting ends and I tell Dad I have a few errands to run. In reality, I just want to be alone but he doesn’t need to know that. He mentioned something about having a lunch date with Mom anyway, so it’s not like me disappearing is a big deal. I walk outside and sit inside my truck. I glance around the office at the fast food joints lining the streets. I need to eat something but I have no clue what I’m hungry for. I could go for a burrito, but at the same time, a hamburger sounds delicious. I start my truck and drive across the street to grab a hamburger. I go inside and eat at a table alone. The sounds of people conversing around me help keep my mind from wandering, and I like that. Halfway into my burger, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see Tamilyn’s name. I swallow the bite I was chewing and take a big sip of my soda before reading it.

You think? Maybe you should ask questions before you assume shit. I hope you had a great time last night.

I know, I’m sorry. It just drives me insane, Tam. Nothing happened, I swear. I didn’t even flirt with a single woman at the bar. I was just trying to piss you off.

Well, it worked. I don’t know what to tell you. I miss my best friend Ruston.

My phone drops onto the hard top of the table and I close my eyes. Why is all of this so damn difficult? Why can’t things just be easy like they’ve always been for us? I pick my phone back up and stare at her words once more.

I miss you too, but I don’t know if I can be around you with him. I’m not trying to be a dick.

I know. Hey I’ve got a shoot about to start, I’ll talk to you later?

Okay Tammy Lou.

I don’t even bother finishing the rest of my burger. I stand with my tray in hand and walk to the nearest trashcan to dump it. I’m relieved she accepted my apology and we’re somewhat speaking again, but the hurt stays embedded in my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get past that, no matter how hard I try.

***

I walk in the apartment and toss my keys on the table. After lunch, I spent the rest of my day roaming mindlessly around the office, waiting to go home. My mind isn’t where it needs to be. I think I’ll just order a pizza and drink a couple of beers before going to bed and starting all over again tomorrow.

“Hey, man, long time no see.” I snap out of my thoughts and notice Austin sitting on the couch. He stands and walks towards the kitchen. I didn’t realize his car was even parked out front.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” I need that beer now. I grab one, pop the top, and take a long chug.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. Everything good? It’s almost like you’re avoiding me since you quit the gym. I don’t want to cause any issues.” I turn to face him and he’s leaning against the counter watching me intently.

Pick your words carefully, Rus. You don’t want to scare him off or let him know anything has been up.

“Yeah, man, I’ve just been busy at the office with Dad. I know you’ve been training a lot and hanging with Tam. How’s that been going?”

His eyes light up and I take another long sip of beer. “I’ve got a fight Friday. You should come check it out. Tamilyn is going to be there to take photos, so y’all can hang together during everything. Howard thinks I’m ready. Hell, I know I’m ready. It was supposed to be Garrett’s fight but he’s taking a little extra time with the new baby.”

I hesitate before I answer him. In fact, I finish the beer in hand and reach for another one. Getting to be around Tamilyn is the plus of the situation but at the same time, I have to admit to myself it would be pretty cool to see Austin in his very first match. “I’ll be there. Just let me know what time.”

“Fuck yeah, maybe we can all go to Joe’s after. That is, if I don’t get my ass kicked too hard.” He chuckles.

For a moment, I’m able to forget that he’s taken my best friend from me. It’s just me and my cousin and that’s how I was hoping it would be. I let my guard down and grab another beer out of the refrigerator for him. “I was thinking about ordering pizza or something, you want in?”

“Yeah, I’ll split the cost with you. Tamilyn and I ordered these amazing Philly cheesesteaks last night. Shit, you guys have great food around here.”

“Tamilyn ate Philly cheesesteak?” I raise my eyebrow. I could never get her to try that.

“Yeah, she liked it too. Man, you should have seen the pictures she took of Lance’s fight. They were fucking epic. I hope she gets some good shots Friday.”

“She’s a damn good photographer. I can’t wait to see what she gets.” I grab my phone to order the pizza. I tell Austin he doesn’t have to worry about paying.

“It’s good to have a little guy time, you know,” he says. “I like being around Tamilyn, but you’re my family and without you I wouldn’t get to be here right now.” Oh hell, he’s getting all sentimental on me.

I nod and sip my beer before replying. “That’s what family is for, man. We help each other out. I’m glad you’re here.” Okay, I don’t know exactly how glad I am that he’s here, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Is everything okay with you and Tamilyn?” he asks out of nowhere. My head snaps in his direction, wondering if he knows something he isn’t telling me. Did she slip up and tell him something?

“What do you mean?” I raise my eyebrow.

“It seems you two don’t talk much anymore. That doesn’t have anything to do with me, does it? I swear I didn’t mean to drive you two apart or make anything awkward.”

Yes,
I think to myself. “No, we’re just so busy right now. We still talk.” I lie to him. I don’t like where this conversation is going. The wrong question could slip up confessions that I want to keep buried. I don’t want to hurt my cousin in any way.

“I just wanted to make sure.” He takes a sip of his beer and I’m praying the conversation changes. Better yet, the pizza guy knocks on the door and every prayer I had was answered.

I silently thank God as I walk to the door to grab our food. Austin and I eat and talk but not about Tamilyn anymore. We talk about our childhood and memories we made along the way. He even opens up a little bit about how screwed up his life was before he moved in with me. He’s changed a lot for the better, and I have to applaud him for that. He’s trying to improve himself and I’m proud of him. Even worse, I’m ashamed with myself for keeping things from him. I should be honest. Maybe he would understand. But if he doesn’t, things will unravel. I don’t need that right now, so I bury my secrets deeper, eat my pizza and drink my beer.

Chapter 20

Austin

Friday. I can’t believe it’s finally Friday. I’ve been waiting all damn week and it’s here. Today is the day I step into the ring for the first time and show everyone what I’m made of. I just need to get through the next few hours. I’m at Lou’s sitting on the cushiony mat waiting on Lance to get here, thinking about how surreal all of this is.

“Hey, Austin, you okay? You aren’t having second thoughts are you?” Howard towers over me before squatting down to my level.

“Not at all, I’m more than confident. It’s just a little unreal right now that this is happening to me. I’m excited, actually.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have asked you to do this if I didn’t think you were ready. It’s going to be completely different in there than it is inside this gym. I know when y’all spar, you’re being serious, but tonight is going to be cutthroat. Your opponent will have no mercy on you and I don’t want you to have mercy on him. For just that brief time inside the ring, he will be your enemy. If you happen to get nervous, don’t let him see that. I’ll remind you of all of this tonight before you walk down for your fight, but I just wanted to pep you up a little now. When Lance gets here, just take it easy. No horsing around. The last thing we need is either one of you to get hurt before your fights.”

“Yes, sir.” I nod. I take his words in and replay them through my mind. I’ll need to remember to stay focused throughout the evening and I have no doubt that I can do it.

“Oh, come see. I put a few of those photos up in the office.” He stands to his feet and I jump up to follow him. As soon as I step inside the office, I see them. He lined them up strategically on the wall.

“They look great,” I tell him, admiring Tamilyn’s work.

“Whitney came and helped me get them straight. I’m sure I could have handled it on my own but she’s got severe OCD kicking in at home and I didn’t want her bitching when she comes here and sees crooked paintings.” He chuckles.

“Smart man.” I point at him. “I hope one day I’ll have the happiness you guys have. When I was younger, I don’t think I ever imagined anything good happening to me. My life was a wreck but I told you all of that when I joined this place. I have purpose now and it’s the best fucking feeling in the world.” I know I can open up to Howard and he won’t judge me. I trust him fully and it’s just nice having someone to talk to.

“You’ll find it. Trust me, I was just like you. I was a badass as a teenager, thought I was invincible. I met a guy one day named Luther Newman, guys called him Lou. He took me in and helped me turn my life around. Like you, I found a purpose in my life and it was fighting. I’ve won more fights than you could imagine in my time, lost a few as well, but it kept me out of trouble. Luther got sick a few years after I joined. He would never tell anyone just how bad he was, but he had developed stage four cancer. He knew he wasn’t going to last long. The doctors only gave him a short amount of time. Lou didn’t want to let this place go to just anyone so I offered to buy it from him. He didn’t want the money, so he just gave it to me.

“We signed everything over and the next day he was found dead in his apartment. He shot himself in the head. He left a note saying how he trusted me to take care of this place and I vowed I’d never let him down. He was a good friend of mine but most importantly, he was a mentor. I hated he took the easy way out, but he didn’t want to suffer. I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for Lou. A year or so later, Lance joined and then Garrett and Whitney came later. When I saw her, I knew she was the one. Trust me, you know when you meet that person. Everything comes full circle. Life suddenly has more meaning than it did before.”

Listening to Howard tell his story, my jaw drops. I never knew any of this. I’ve wondered since the day I first arrived why that old rusty sign stayed up. Now I know, because I know about Lou. “Wow, sounds like Lou was a great guy.”

“He was. I wish each and every one of you in here could have met him.”

Lance pokes his head in the office, breaking up our conversation. “Top of the morning!” he greets cheerfully.

“The leprechaun of Lou’s is here,” Howard announces with a light chuckle.

“Have you seen me lucky charms?” Lance grins as he spots the photos. “Hell yeah! Whitney hung my pictures!”

“I hung them,” Howard deadpans. I stifle back a laugh as the two go back and forth about how Howard couldn’t hang something up if his life depended on it. “Anyway, you two get out there and get to work, I have things to do.”

“Playing on your phone doesn’t count.” Lance grins as he walks out.

I turn and nod at Howard. “Thanks for talking to me.”

“Anytime. I have an open door policy and what’s said in here stays.” He sits in his chair and I walk out to meet Lance.

We’re back to the mat but instead of sitting, I’m standing waiting to see what we’re going to do now. I know we’re supposed to take it easy. “You know what I like to do a few hours before the fights?”

I raise my eyebrow in curiosity. “What’s that?”

“Not a damn thing.”

“Howard was giving me some pointers before you got here.”

“You spar damn good. You’ve got this. Make sure you smile big when your picture gets taken. I know I will be.”

“Dude, you’re fucked in the head.” I laugh.

“But y’all love me,” he points out. I decide to sit on the mat like before and he joins me. We sit there and talk to pass the time. I hate to rush, but I’m ready for tonight.

***

The bright lights, the crowd. It’s insane to see all of this and know I’m going to be a part of it shortly. Blaize has already announced the line-up this evening and I’m on such an adrenaline high that I didn’t even hear the name of my opponent. That’s okay. I’m not here to know his name. I hear my name again but it’s not coming from Blaize. I look around the room and my gaze lands on Tamilyn and Ruston. My eyes light up when I see her. I’m glad she’s here. I jog toward them and pull her in for a hug. She tenses for a moment in front of me but I think nothing of it.

“I’m glad you made it.” I turn to Ruston.

“I told you I’d be here. This looks exciting.”

“My heart is racing. It’s insane.” Howard calls my name, and I wave to them as I am led to a dressing room.

I shut the door behind me and listen as Howard gives Lance and me the same pep talk I heard this morning. Lance’s fight is before mine so he disappears right after while I sit in the room and patiently wait for my turn. My hands are becoming clammy so I go ahead and put my gloves on. Minutes pass and finally someone sticks their head in the door and tells me I’m next. This is it, finally. Blaize announces my name and I exit the room.

The cheers and yells coming from the crowd are deafening, but I love it. I listen as they yell but I’m focused on getting to the ring and taking care of business. As I step into the ring, I see Tamilyn and Ruston standing beside Howard and Lance. As badly as I want to acknowledge them, I know I’m here for business. My game face is on as I eye my opponent. He’s quick, he’s ruthless, but he’s not quick enough. I was worried I would let my guard down, but he’s so cocky he completely underestimates me and after only a few minutes I drag him down to the mat. He fights to get up but my grip on him is tight. He isn’t going to make it up. This fight is over and he knows it. Blaize steps in and lifts my hand in victory. I want to smile but I’m trying to catch my breath. Howard wasn’t kidding when he said this was much more intense than our daily sparring sessions. I’m fucking proud of myself.

I make my way back to the dressing room to change out of these shorts. I can’t wait to find Tamilyn and Ruston. I am curious to know what kind of photos she got. I toss the shorts and my gloves into my duffle bag and step out of the room. People I don’t even know are congratulating me and I smile, thanking each and every one of them. My gaze darts back to where Howard and everyone else stood. I don’t see them. Maybe they stepped outside. I see Lance coming out of the restroom and Hilary is waiting for him.

“Hey, man, have you see Ruston and Tamilyn?”

“Look at the man of the hour! You kicked ass out there. Tell me that was not the most amazing feeling in the world?” He grins from ear to ear.

“It was pretty fucking epic. I’m on a high. I know that shit.” I grin.

“I told you! We’re about to head out but I think I saw them walk outside. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks man. See you tomorrow.” I wave to Hilary and walk toward the back door.

I step into the night air and glance up at the stars. I thank God for my victory as I walk into the parking lot. I don’t see them, but I see Ruston’s truck. I keep walking closer as I reach into my duffle bag for my cell phone. They have to be somewhere around here, or maybe Lance thought he saw them walk outside, and they’re really still inside. I’m about to text Tamilyn when I glance up and see two people straight ahead. Their arms are wrapped around each other and their lips locked together. I mutter for them to get a room, but as I inch closer, my heart sinks in my chest. I can’t believe what I’m seeing.

It’s Tamilyn and Ruston wrapped up in a hot and heavy make-out session. As badly as I want to go demand to know what the fuck is going on, I divert my path and walk back inside. I glance back one more time to see if they’ve even noticed me, but they’re so involved in each other. Suddenly things are beginning to become a little clearer to me. This explains so much that I never wanted to see. How could I think she actually liked me when it’s been Ruston all along? I’m livid, fuming at what I just saw. I can’t get this out of my mind but I’m going to push it back for right now and wait to see if either one of them will come out and admit what’s been going on.