Blood Rule (Book 4, Dirty Blood series) (24 page)

“
I’m not reckless. I’m
confident,” I said.

I watched as he poured himself a mug
from the carafe and sipped slowly. “Why are you asking me about
this now?”

I took a deep breath and blew it out.
“Alex is awake.”

“
That’s great. So, he’s
going to be okay then?”

“
I think so. Medically,
anyway. But …”

“
But?”

“
I think I felt something
from him.”

He stilled, the steaming mug halfway
to his mouth and stared at me over the rim. “From him or for
him?”

I pressed my lips
together. “
From
him,” I said through closed teeth.

“
What does that even mean?
As in, you read his mind?”

“
It means I felt an
emotion that wasn’t my own while we were on the phone. I’m pretty
sure it was his. And if so, that means we’re …”

“
Bonded,” he
finished.

“
Maybe,” I
squeaked.

“
Maybe?”

“
I don’t know. It was
different than the others.”

He set the mug down and braced himself
with his palms on the counter. “Can you feel him now?”

I searched my awareness but all I
sensed was George—eavesdropper—and Emma. “No.”

“
But you’re sure you did
earlier?”

“
No,” I admitted. “Not a
hundred percent. And it worries me.”

“
It worries you that you
might not have a mental connection with him?”

“
No, it lasted for the
time we were on the phone and now it’s gone. I don’t know what that
means, but I think it’s important. It’s the same thing that
happened with the pack. Steppe took them away and the bond went
with them and now I don’t feel them at all.”

“
And are you sad and empty
now that you can’t feel Alex?”

His words cut into me. I straightened,
planting my feet. “No. I’m worried because he’s my friend. Because
maybe whatever’s causing this means he isn’t actually medically
okay. He did recently wake up from a coma.

“
And I thought maybe, if
we can figure out the bond thing, it will help me get the bond back
with the pack so we can find them and save them. Which is the
reason I asked if you’d let Astor test you for the metal immunity.
If you had, we’d know whether we stood a chance against them by
turning and facing them instead of running and hiding.”

“
That’s it, then. That’s
what this is all about. You want to leave.”

“
We can’t hide
forever.”

“
You were fine with it
until he woke up.”

“
No, I was not fine! I’m
still not fine,” I shot back. “I’m a mess. It’s like my brain has
detached from my body and nothing makes sense. For days, I haven’t
eaten or slept or been able to think through a decision. After what
happened with Janie yesterday, it got worse. But right now,
finally, I have a fight in me again. I thought you did too. Guess I
was wrong.”

I turned to go but Wes was around the
corner and blocking my path before I’d taken two steps. He rested a
hand on either of my shoulders. “Tara, wait.” He sounded defeated.
“I don’t want to fight with you.”

I crossed my arms. “I don’t want to
defend myself to you anymore. Not about him.”

His jaw tightened and his eyes
flickered to some spot on the wall behind me for a moment before
coming back to my face. “You don’t have to. I was
wrong.”

Some part of me knew what it took for
him to admit that, but I couldn’t appreciate it right now. I meant
it when I’d said I was ready to fight, and he’d made himself the
bad guy. I wasn’t backing down.

“
It’s not about him, or
not in the way you think. It’s about saving lives. If we’re the
only ones who can, don’t we have a responsibility to
try?”

“
We are
trying.”

“
We’re just sitting
here.”

“
Sometimes, being a leader
means sitting back and forming a plan, a strategy. It’s the
difference between chess and whack-a-mole.”

I wrenched my shoulder free of his
hand. “Whack-a-mole?”

“
It’s a carnival game. A
mole pops up and you have to hit it with this—”

“
I know the game. That’s
what you think I’m doing?”

“
I think you’re reckless
for wanting to leave. Leaders plan. And they don’t always get to be
on the front lines. Sometimes you have to fall back and regroup.”
His tone wasn’t even angry anymore. It was more condescending than
anything. Like he knew better and wanted nothing more than to teach
me the right way. Like a child coloring outside the lines. Inside
the void in my chest, resentment flared.

“
And what if I don’t want
to be a leader?” I demanded.

“
You already are. You’re
just the last to see it.” I scowled. “Everyone’s already following
you. You don’t notice because you’re too busy changing
course.”

“
I’m reacting to the
circumstances.”

He went on like I hadn’t spoken. “A
pack protects its leader. Why do you think you were sent to an
invisible safe house?”

I didn’t answer. I refused to meet his
eyes.

He threw up his hands and paced away
from me. “Why do you think Steppe wants you in the first place?
Same reason we all followed you into the woods after Olivia. And
why Miles wanted you. And Leo before him.” I shuddered. “You’re a
leader, Tara. You’ve always been a leader. You’ve never wanted to
see it.”

Everything he said made sense, so much
that I couldn’t bring myself to argue. But I couldn’t stand here
either. My mind buzzed, full for the first time in days. But a
different kind of full. This noise was all my own making and no
amount of music would shut it out.

My wolf strained against my temper,
caged. It wanted out.

“
I need some air,” I said,
whirling and heading for the door. I expected Wes to stop me or
snap back with some retort but I heard nothing from behind me. I
stomped the few steps to the back door, grabbed the knob, and
twisted. It swung heavily on its hinges and slammed the wall,
knocking a piece of framed artwork to the floor with a thud. I
ignored it and kicked my foot out across the threshold—and stumbled
back.

“
What the …?” I rubbed my
nose and stared through the open doorway. I could clearly see the
porch on the other side with the few steps leading down to the
grass. Beyond that, the forest encroached and led away into the
shaded unknown.

“
What is it?” Wes asked, a
strange note in his voice.

I lifted my hand, palm out, and
pressed against what looked like open air separating me from the
outside. My fingertips hit something hard and smooth. I ran my hand
down the length of the doorway.

“
We’re trapped,” I
said.

“
What are you talking
about?”

I gestured to whatever invisible force
field blocked my way.

Wes came around me and took a
tentative step forward. He held his hands up, palms out, like I’d
done. He pressed lightly at first and then pulled back and hit hard
enough there was an audible smack.

He stared through the doorway,
entirely too calm. “I’ll be damned. We’re definitely
trapped.”

I glared at him. “You don’t have to
sound so happy about it.”

“
What’s up?” George
appeared with two empty bowls in hand.

“
There’s some sort of
barrier blocking the doorway. We can’t get out,” Wes told
him.

“
A barrier?” George set
the dishes aside and came over. At Wes’s nod, he extended a hand.
It stopped short halfway across the threshold. “What is
it?”

“
Not sure,” Wes
said.

“
We were outside
yesterday,” I said.
For Janie.
George’s eyes flickered to me.

“
Wonder what changed,”
George said. “Is the front door the same way?”

I hurried to the front door and threw
it open. Sunshine streamed in, warming my bare arms. I extended a
hand until my fingertips bumped an invisible force.

“
Ugh! It’s the same,” I
called.

“
I guess we’re stuck,”
George said as both boys came up behind me.

I glared at them. Neither one seemed
the least bit bothered. In fact, I could taste George’s relief
mixing with my disappointment. I swallowed back a curse.

“
Told you not to do it
this way,” George muttered.

“
Shut up,” Wes
said.

My eyed narrowed. “Do what this
way?”

Neither one answered. George shot Wes
a look.

“
Wes?” I
prompted.

“
Edie may have sealed the
house,” he said.

“
How?”

“
The earthquake … wasn’t
an earthquake.”

I stared at him while that sunk in.
The earthquake—it hadn’t been the ground shaking. It’d been the
house itself. Settling. Sealing. I shook my head. “But we were
outside yesterday. For Janie.”

He looked at George. “Extenuating
circumstances.”

“
You know how to get out,”
I said.

He shook his head. “Not anymore. I
called Edie after what happened with Janie and she gave me the
bypass phrase, but she said it would change after we used it. I
don’t know it anymore.”

“
Try it anyway,” I
said.

He walked forward and laid his hand
against the invisible barrier that blocked the doorway. “Exitus,”
he muttered.

Nothing happened.

He stepped back. “I told you. She said
she it’s set up to change every day and after every
use.”

My arms shook with the effort to
remain human. My wolf wanted a piece of whatever had caused my
temper. “This is why Grandma sent us here,” I yelled. “Not because
I’m a leader. They wanted to sideline us. And you helped her do
it.”

“
I didn’t help
her.”

“
Maybe not, but you knew
about it.”

“
Because I knew you’d
react this way.”

“
How else should I react?
We’re trapped.”

“
I think—” Wes
began.

“
I’m going to my room.” I
didn’t want to hear what he thought. I was having a hard enough
time knowing what George thought. I was trapped, no matter the
reason.

The boys let me go without another
word.

Upstairs, I flopped onto my bed and
stared at the ceiling. Guilt pricked at me. I did my best to shove
it aside. I wanted to hang on to my mad a little longer.

At some point, I’d apologize. Not yet.
Right now, I wanted to seethe a little. I knew when I stopped being
mad, I’d have to accept the fact that I was trapped and that Wes
had known that.

Without my anger, I’d have to think
about Janie. And the pack. And my possible bond with Alex. And the
looming void. Again.

Being angry shoved all that to the
side. It made my thoughts clearer. If I was going to be trapped
here, I had to find a way to make it useful. To be ready to take
action when I found a way out. And not go crazy in the meantime. If
that took embracing my temper, so be it.

***

“
Tara? You
awake?”

I opened my eyes and blinked until I
remembered where I was and why Wes looked so nervous to be hovering
over me, bringing me back to consciousness.

“
Hey,” I said, giving him
a small smile.

He visibly relaxed and lowered himself
to the edge of the bed.

Somewhere between my temper waning and
promising I’d find a way out of the invisible barricade, I’d fallen
asleep.

“
How long was I asleep?” I
asked, rubbing my eyes and propping myself on my elbows.

“
You missed lunch. You
okay?”

I took stock of my mental and
emotional status. Emma was fed and fine. Still on two legs and
sticking close to George. She was excited at having his attention.
It did wonders to battle the grief she felt over Janie.

I started to sit up and paused. If I
wasn’t mistaken, George was equally as thrilled at being with
her.

Interesting. How had I missed
this?

“
Tara?” Wes prompted when
I didn’t answer.

“
Oh. I’m much better.” I
rested my hand on his cheek and ran it slowly down his jaw,
enjoying the rough stubble that’d grown in over the last few days.
I rubbed at it as I looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry for earlier. I
shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”

He took my free hand in both of his.
“I’m sorry too. Edie asked me not to say anything. I should’ve told
you, but I knew how upset you’d be. She’s only trying to keep you
safe.”

“
If I had a dollar for
every time someone went behind my back to make me safe, I’d be
rich.”