Blood In Fire (Celtic Elementals Book 2) (27 page)

“Of course you did, Aidan. What choice did you have?”

“I donna know. He brought me back into tha' fucking awful room. I was shaking so damme hard." Aidan's fingers had curled around a bed post and she heard wood crack. "He had Siobhán chained down again, and this time…this time…” The bleakness in his tone clawed at her heart.

“She would’ve died anyway, Aidan.”

“Aye, I know it. She was dead when he first touched her. But tha' does no’ make it better…what I did.”

“It should.”

He looked down at her as if she was mad.

“Oh c’mon, Aidan. You’re not that dense. You killed her quick, didn’t you?”

She prayed she was right, that Abhartach hadn’t forced him into something even more barbaric that first time. But after her hours alone with the demon, she was betting not. That monster would have wanted to take it
slow
, to soil Aidan by degrees. To take his time and
savor
defiling him. Murder alone would have been enough, at least that first time. She was betting on it.

Aidan’s eyes widened slightly as he considered her words.

Oh, thank god.

“You didn’t,” Heather spit out the words in her relief, “drag it out…or torture her?”

“Nae,” he whispered.

“Then she should have blessed you! For what you saved her from. You are
nothing
like him, Aidan. Don’t let him mess with your mind. Yes, he made you a vampire. So fucking what?”

“
So what?
Are ye out of yer damme mind, woman?”

“Of course I am—but
so what?
He can’t take you away from yourself unless you let him…and you never will, you goddamn ass. You’re too stubborn.”

He smiled, a heartbreakingly sad smile that told her didn’t believe her, but appreciated the sentiment all the same. For now that would have to be enough. This time he let her tug him down into the bed.

When Aidan stretched out so carefully beside her, she swatted his arm. “I may be scarred but I am not a china doll, Aidan. You don’t have to treat me like I’m breakable, okay? I am all healed up.” Her lame attempt to let him know she was sorry for pushing him away so many times before.

“Nae, ye’re no'.” He whispered the words into her ear and tears stung her eyes again, because she knew he understood. “But ye will be.”

She swallowed, unable to speak as his fingers trailed over her throat, one of the few places on her body free of scars. His mouth followed his fingers. Soft, teasing kisses that made her heart flutter. Even as her stomach started to knot when he reached for the tiny buttons on her dress.

I want this
, she reminded herself.
I have to have this, or he's right—Abhartach
wins.

She watched Aidan, watched his hands move, slow and sure.

It doesn’t matter what he sees. He saw everything already when he healed me, goddamn it, and it was a lot fucking worse then.

No matter what she told herself, when Aidan’s gloved fingertips first encountered a thin ridge of scar tissue, just over her collarbone, she flinched. He didn’t react, only kept trailing his hand down between her breasts, where the scars were thicker. Her hands wrapped themselves in the sheets and she started to shake. He didn’t pause. Again his mouth followed his touch, kissing each and every place where her flesh had been carved open.

Aidan only stopped when he saw the tears running down her face into the pillow.

“Donna do tha'.” His voice was stern.

“I ‘donna’ want to, you stupid ass, but I can’t help it!” She choked, her throat so tight just getting the words out made her feel like she was drowning.

“Why?”

“
Why?
I look like an ugly freak, that’s why, as you damn well know!” She tried to curl onto her side as she said it, the truth of the words hitting her for the first time. The beauty that had been hers so easily for so long was truly gone. She would never bare herself to a man again without feeling this insecurity, this
shame.

She had tried to ignore it, to will herself into being grateful that she was alive and more or less whole. To appreciate that her face, at least, was unchanged. To see what she
had
, so she could forget what had been taken. To be brave and noble and unselfish and all that shit she never had been good at, but that she
wanted
to be good at now. Because of him.

It was too much. She wasn't built that way.

Had she thought she could do this, that maybe she even
needed
to do this? To prove that her body was her own once again, no matter how ruined?

Well, she had been wrong. Panicked, the darkness swirling over her head, pulling her down, she tried to shove away from him once more.

Aidan wouldn’t let her. He simply pinned her beneath him and she couldn’t move. For a minute she was so pissed she forgot to cry. “No, don’t do this again! Not now. Aidan, please, let
go
.”

“Nae, I donna think I will.” He said slowly.

“You won’t fuck me if I tell you no, I know that well enough.”

He didn’t flinch at her crude words, or the raw hysteria bubbling beneath the surface.

“I don’t think I said anything about fucking, at least not yet. And freak, is tha' how ye are seeing yerself now?”

“Yes!” She screamed it at him, her words echoing off the stone.

“Because of this?” He pressed a tender hand over the ragged patchwork of scars between her breasts, his voice as soft as his touch.

She closed her eyes and turned her face into the wet pillow. She couldn’t get away from him, he was too strong. Well, fuck it. She’d just ignore him.

Of course, Aidan didn’t allow that.

“Oh, Heather,” he slid down her body, holding her captive, his hands pinning her wrists, one leg thrown over both of hers. “Have ye n’ver heard what they say about scars, love? They only show tha' ye are stronger than whatever tried to hurt ye.

"These scars,” he ran his tongue over her belly, tracing a rough, pale line that crisscrossed her once perfect olive skin, then another. His breath was warm on her skin, making her muscles quiver before he lifted his head again. “They donna make ye a freak, love. They make ye
brave
. So fucking brave and strong. Ye were beautiful enough before, aye. Ye donna need me to tell ye tha'. But tha' was only beauty given to ye, this is a beauty
earned.

"When I look at each of these marks, they show me how incredible ye are, how you beat
Abhartach. Gods, love, donna let him win now. What was tha' ye said before?
‘He can’t take you away from yourself unless you let him’?”

Lying there, with Aidan’s words washing over her, Heather realized she had to make a choice. Right here, right now. Her last chance to save herself. She had to decide to move on, to take this step….

Or let the fear conquer her forever.

She lifted her head from the pillow and glared at him through the tears blurring her vision.

“Throwing my own words back in my face? That’s me sorted, is it?”

He let out a shaky laugh that danced over her skin as he smiled up at her. “Oh, I will sort ye alright, love.”

Raising his hand in front of her face, he pulled his gloves off, one finger at a time. Then the other. Just like that first time, in her hotel room. Back in Istanbul.

His eyes never left hers.

Heather swallowed. He hadn’t taken off his gloves since he’d come to the Reeks, hadn’t touched her once skin to skin. Not even when he'd opened his own veins to heal her with his blood. And she had known why. He was afraid of what he would feel from her. Pain, anger, blame…all of it. Even now his hand shook as he reached out, his fingertips brushing her cheek. He sucked in a breath when she reached up and covered his hand with her own, pressing his skin into hers.

“Does it hurt, Aidan?”

“Aye,” he whispered. “But I donna care.”

She smiled. “Me either.”

In the next second, his mouth was on hers. It was a soft kiss. Tantalizing, exploring…as if he were tasting her for the first time, and maybe he was. She was a far different person than she had been a short week ago.

Her arms wrapped around his neck without thought as his tongue teased her lips apart. His hands sank into her hair, angling her just the way he wanted.

Aidan kissed her until she felt weightless, almost buoyant. Then he pulled her head back abruptly with one hand, making her gasp as he trailed hot, nipping kisses down the line of her throat.

Roughly this time, he pushed her half unbuttoned dress open so he could cup her breast. She whimpered as her nipple tightened against his palm. Aidan looked down at her and cursed. His face was taut.

“I want to be gentle, Heather…but I want ye so much, I donna know if I can.”

Abruptly, she sat up, throwing him off balance. “Then let me take over for once.” If she was going to do this, she might as well do it right.

The momentary shock on his face was priceless, then he grinned.

“Certainly.” He rolled over, settling on his back as he watched her scoot to the edge of the bed to shimmy out of her dress. She stood up and looked at him, totally naked, unable to breathe.

She felt more exposed than she had in her entire life. Every horrible scar was on display, a mad cross-stitch of evil laid bare to him. She thought he would recoil from her, in some infinitesimal way she would catch something in his eyes.

Instead, his gaze traveled over her body with as much desire as ever. Her skin heated under the stark lust in his perusal. When he finally reached her face the fire in those crystalline orbs could have shattered glass.

Kneeling on the bed, she told him to take off his shirt.  He stripped it away, then reached for the button of his pants, but she slapped his fingers away.

“Nope. That job’s all mine.”

“Whatever ye say, love.” His abs rippled as Aidan laid back, a smile teasing his lips, his dark gold curls mussed. The lean, corded muscles of his shoulders flexed as he placed his hands behind his head and gave her a wink that made her want to roll her eyes even as the sight of him made her mouth dry. He was too beautiful. A dusting of gold hairs low down on the flat, hard V of his stomach winked in the firelight. With a grin, she flicked her fingertips over them.

“I do believe you’re sparkling, Aidan.”

His eyes widened in confusion and then darted down.

“Oy! Shut that shi—“ he began warningly. She splayed her hand on his bare skin and lowered her head, effectively silencing whatever he had been going to say next. Beneath her palm she felt his muscles tighten as she tugged his pants open with her teeth.

His sex sprang out, hard and ready, but she ignored it. Coaxing his jeans down over his hips and off, then pushing his legs apart almost indifferently. But she was far from indifferent. She had had him in her mouth before, back in Istanbul. Relishing the control, the way she had been able to take a notch or two off his arrogance, to make him sweat. Now she was just as hungry for him as she had been then.

But it wasn’t about power, not this time.

Or control.

It was about letting go of all that and giving him every ounce of pleasure she could.

Heather let her nails trail lightly up the inside of his thighs as she moved between his legs again. Kissing the hard line of his hipbone, inches from where his cock lay curved and swollen against his flat stomach.

He shivered and the whole length of him twitched. She smiled as she moved her lips over his warm skin, closer and closer. Finally lifting her chin and letting her breath trail over him.  Wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, she looked up his body and into his eyes.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“Not yet, darling. But soon.” She drew him into her mouth, swirling her tongue lazily around his fat tip. Under her hands, she felt the tension knot his muscles as she deliberately worked him into her throat. Then she got started in earnest.

Fast and deep, slow and shallow, back and forth.

She brought him to the edge bit by agonizing bit, until his fingers were digging into the mattress on either side of her and his breath was short and ragged. He pulsed against her swollen lips and she knew he was about to lose it.

“Heather, I need to be inside ye.” His voice had turned to a low, urgent growl.

His hand wrapped in her hair, tugging her up. She resisted, wanting the taste of him on her tongue, but he was insistent. She let him slide from her mouth with a last, reluctant pop.

He gasped and yanked her up his body until they were face to face. “Tha' was a bit cruel.”

With an evil smile, she leaned back, letting her nipples drag over his chest.

“I learned from the best.”

“Mmmm, I hope tha' means me.”

“Mostly, yeah.”

His eyes narrowed. Twisting his hips, Aidan let his hard length drag against her, parting the soft cleft between her legs and sliding over her throbbing clit.