Blood Debt (Touched Series Book 1) (22 page)

“Is Bianca going to, you know – know?”

“Only if you think about it.  Do you know how to block your thoughts?”  She shook he
r head that she didn’t.  Dammit!
  No matter how strongly I felt for Camille
-
I couldn’t risk my family’s
blood line
.
  Camille looked horrified; hopefully her fear of being exposed would keep us both safe.  Being this close to her was wrong, I had to let her go.  I forced a smile, hoping she couldn’t see through it to the emptiness I felt as I moved away from her
. 
I said,
“Just don’t think about the kiss
.  I
f your mind starts to wander
,
think about a movie or something.”

“Okay
-
think about something else
, got it
. 
Gretchen told me only the women Centaurs could read thoughts
.  Y
ou can’t read my
min
d
, right
?”

I couldn’t help but smirk at her, “Technically, you should only be able to read the thoughts I’m not protecting.  You caught me a little off guard when you touched me.”

“Obviously
,
”
she answered.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her.  I was mortified with my actions
,
and I knew she shared the same guilt
. 
I could see it.  I decided to change the subject before we had any kind of relapse,
“I know this is all new
to you
.  Did you find someone you liked last night?”  She gave me the strangest look
,
and I felt the heat rising up again within me. 
“I mean at Bruce’s wedding, you met a bunch of Centaur men.
  Any of them contenders?
  You seemed to have hit it off with Gus.”
 
 

“Ha, that’s the one good thing I have to look forward to.  I don’t have to choose anyone for five years.”

Her statement surprised me
,
and I looked up at her, “What do you mean?”

“It’s a really long story, but I’m not going to choose anyone until I’m
twenty-seven
.”

“Your father’s okay with that?”

“Sure, why wouldn’t he be?”

“I’ve just never heard of a
Centauride
waiting so long.”

“
Good things come to those who wait
.”

I nodded.  I was a lucky man to be chosen by Bianca
.  I’d find a way to keep Camille out of my thoughts, too
.  I took Camille’s hand
, telling myself to savor the few more seconds I had with her before this fantasy was over and my reality kicked back in.
“Let’s go find Brent and Bianca.”

As we walked toward the doorway to go to the lower deck
,
a large wave rocked the boat hard and Camille fell into me.  Steadying her
,
my arms found her one more time.  When I didn’t let go
,
I thought she
’
d chastise me, but she pulled me into the wall just to the left of the double doors
,
so no one could see us through the glass
. 
I didn’t release her, I couldn’t. 
I could feel my hands shaking
.  S
he belonged in them
. 

Her eyes were wide, her voice
accusatory
, “Never again, right?”

I couldn’t deny the lust I felt for her
.  M
y hands refused to release her
.  M
y body leaned into hers as I whispered,
“Not after this one.”  This time
,
it was
I
who
closed the distance between us.  I knew it was wrong
. 
I knew if we were caught
,
we’d be screwed
,
and the
shame we
’d
bring on
our families
would be unbearable
, b
ut I lost myself in Camille
anyway
.  A
ll the things I knew I should care about didn’t matter when she was in my arms.  I told myself this would absolutely be the last time my arms were able to hold her, and I wanted to drink her in,
to
consume her,
to
cherish this memory for the rest of eternity.  I didn’t hold back
.  I
n that moment
,
I shared every ravenous thought
of
her
.  When my eyes opened, I looked down into hers
.  I could see
how she felt
.
  She was torn exactly the same way I was.  Our time was over
. 
I
confessed, “
We always want what is exactly out of our reach.
”

I let her go and walked through the double doors.  I found Brent and Bianca playing
X
box just as they
had
intended.  It was an adventure game where they were jumping
,
ducking, leaning and
-
a bi-product
of all the activity
– laughing.  The lightheartedness in the state room was a far cry from the heartbreak up on the deck.  Camille never did come in to watch the video games
. 
I was thankful for the separation.  I knew it would take some effort before I could be in the same room with her and not
have an overwhelming urge
to hold her.

Chapter 17

Camille

My whole day had been a nightmare.  I’d never, ever,
had feelings for a friend’s boyfriend, let alone
fiancé.  I’d analyzed the whole situation at least a thousand times – I didn’t know how it happened, but
I vowed
it would never happen again.  I wanted to confess, tell her everything, beg her to forgive me, but
the selfish part of me wouldn’t let me tell her.  I was sure the
truth would land me on a plane bound for the west coast by the afternoon.

Bianca had been so good to me, my first rea
l friend since I got here
,
and I’d kissed her fiancé. 
I was so ashamed
of myself
.
  I didn’t even try to tell myself that it had anything to do with her feelings for another guy – because it didn’t.
  I couldn’t look her in the eye the rest of the
day
. 
When Drake went to join Brent and Bianca in the state room, I couldn’t follow.  The guilt was overwhelming
. 
I wanted to crawl into a corner and hide.  I considered taking the dingy back to shore just so I didn’t have to face them, to face her.
  My stomach was tied up in knots
,
and I was miserable.  I could hear my mom’s words from my childhood, “Never lie, cheat, or steal, Camille – any other mistake you make can be forgiven, but lying, cheating or stealing are actions done with malice, with forethought
.  Y
ou invite evil in
to
your heart if you do any of them.”  Mom was a bartender and a waitress most of my life
,
so she always had advice for me when I needed it, and in that moment when I needed her words of wisdom, these were the ones that replayed in my head. 

When the three came back up on the deck, I couldn’t tell
Bianca
what’d happened.  I knew Drake hadn’t said anything because she was laughing and carrying on. 
It was a good thing I’d watched
Titanic
two hundred times
over the last ten years
.  I knew every scene, the entire dialog
ue
for the whole movie.  I played it over and over in my head
,
so Bianca couldn’t see what I’d done. 

By the time we pulled up in front of Bianca’s house
,
I was sick of the movie and had started going over lyrics to songs in my head.  As miserable as I felt, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.  I’d never purposely lied to anyone in my life.  I knew I’d need to tell her, but I was so distraught I couldn’t tell her today. 
Thankfully, Brent
dropped her off first
. 
I pretended to be asleep in the car
because I knew I couldn’t
b
ear
to
look her in the eye.  I continued
with song lyrics in my head until
she was safely inside her house.  Drake had walked her to the door
.  H
e didn’t seem to be affected at all – no guilt.  What a scum bag. 

When he got back to the car
,
I
“
woke up
”
from my pretend nap, but refused to make eye contact with him or speak.  The shame began to morph into anger.
  I felt like I was going to come apart at the seams
,
and he acted like nothing had happened.

Brent was oblivious to my inner turmoil when he asked Drake, “You and Bianca want to catch a movie later?”

I didn’t give Drake a chance to answer, “Brent, I’d rather hang out with Gretchen and Will tonight.”

Brent glanced over his shoulder
. 
“Uh, okay.  I didn’t know you were awake.  We can hang out with Mom and Dad today and catch a late showing tonight
.
”

I didn’t even glance at Drake in the front passenger seat,
“No thanks.  Too much sun.”

To his credit, Drake agreed.  “Yeah, I’ve got a pretty tough week coming up.  I doubt we’ll be able to do anything.”

I could see Brent looking between Drake and me.  He knew something was up but couldn’t put his finger on it and shrugged.  “Okay.  Maybe next weekend?”

I cringed at the thought
,
but Drake again answered, “Maybe.  Oh wait . . . I’m going to a pre-season game in Charlotte next weekend.
”  I was thankful he seemed to want to keep just as much distance from me as I did him.  Maybe he felt just as guilty as I did and was just better at hiding it.

*****
 

When
Brent and I walked in the door, we heard voices in the family room
,
but I didn’t have the strength to put on a happy face.  I went to my room, shut the door and crawled into bed.
  It was only a little after 4 p.m.
,
but I couldn’t face anyone. 
It was a fitful
sleep;
images of Drake kept seeping into my subconscious.  Every time I saw those
light
blue eyes in my head
,
I startled myself awake
– refusing to replay any of the images I’d seen on the yacht today
.  At midnight
,
I knew I needed to talk to someone.  I picked up the phone and scrolled to Daniel.

He picked up right away, dispensing with the customary
,
“
H
ello,
”
and said,
“So, tell me about your latest adventure.”

“I miss you.”

“Oh come on, tired of the private jets and yachts already?”

“Shut up.  What’re you doing?”

“Beach day.  Bonfire in Carlsbad, met a girl.”

“You always meet a girl. 
In t
wo days you’ll figure out she’s not perfect and you’ll meet another girl.”

“Naw, I’d give this one a week.”

“Wow, she must be special.  You
’
re such a man-whore.”

“
Man-whore? 
I just love women.  So really, what happened today?  That mouth freshener girl, did you two do anything today?”

“Mouth freshener girl?”

“Binaca, right?”

“Her name’s Bianca
,
you bonehead!”  Daniel sucked at remembering people’s names
.  O
ne time he introduced one of his girlfriends to me as “Anita” when in fact her name was “Benita.”
  She corrected him several times before she decided he wasn’t worth her time.
  Daniel was a great guy but was never big on details.

“Oh, there’s such a big difference.  Did you two get together?”

“Yeah, Brent took us all out on the boat today.  But, I’d much rather hear about your day.”

Daniel’s tone was accusatory,
“What happened, Camille?”