Blonde and Blue (41 page)

The bed was a mess of blood. When at last we lay entangled among the blankets, exhausted and fulfilled, I groaned as the euphoria ebbed and the pain set in. My head spun, and my mouth was thick with the taste of blood. Nobody had ever loved me the wild, crazed way that Arys did. I adored every moment of it.

I lay curled in Arys’ warm embrace, basking in the afterglow. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to bring it up, but I wanted to take advantage of having him in a position where he couldn’t dodge my questions.

“So now seems like a good time for you to shed a little light on what Maxwell said. I think I deserve to know, Arys.”

“Really?” He groaned and rolled his eyes. “You want to do this now?”

“I do. Start talking. No lies and no avoidance. Tell me what he meant when he said that I was the one you’d been waiting for.”

“It’s a long story. Too long to go into right now.”

I fixed him with a fierce stare. I was not going to let up on this. “Scratch the surface.”

Arys forced a dramatic, exasperated sigh and propped himself up on one arm. “Here’s the quick version. A little more than a century ago, I was told by a witch that she could see my other half. She could see you, the one who would complete me. Lena was right when she told you we were two souls cut from the same magical cloth. We were always meant to be one. I didn’t believe it until I met you. Actually, I didn’t even let myself believe it then, not until it became impossible to deny.”

“And, you never thought to tell me this? There has to be more to it. Keep talking.”

“It’s rare for a connection like ours to actually be made. If I’d lived and died as human, we never would have met. Most people bound the way we are never meet.” His expression grew dark, and I got the feeling he would have done anything to avoid having this conversation. “Yin and yang. You know how that works? Well, that’s us. Two sides of the same coin but neither alike. Together we create something new, something powerful.”

My thoughts raced as I tried to piece it together. “Alright. That fits with a lot of what Lena said. But still … what does it really mean? And, why didn’t you want to tell me?”

Arys reached to take my hand with his free one. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I don’t know what it means. All I know is that I am the dark and you are the light. And, it’s only a matter of time until my darkness consumes you. When it does, we both die.”

“No way.” I sat up quickly, tossing the bloodstained blanket aside. “There has to be more to it than that. There has to be a reason for it all.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I could see in Arys’ eyes that he really believed what he’d said, which explained why he’d been unwilling to share it earlier. Still, something didn’t add up. It didn’t entirely make sense.

“I’m sure there is a reason,” Arys offered, attempting to provide some comfort. “We have only just begun to realize what we can do together. We were bound before you were even born. Nothing was going to change that. But, I have to admit, sometimes I wish I hadn’t blood bonded you. It’s tainted you with parts of me that you should never have to deal with.”

“Is that why you were so adamant about tonight? Controlling the bloodlust didn’t work out so well.” I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror on the bureau, and I cringed. I looked like hell with blood and bruises covering more of me than unblemished skin. “If you didn’t bind me to you, someone else would have. You know that. Things would be worse if we hadn’t done it. Don’t waste time on regrets.”

“Alexa, be careful. Shya knows about us. That’s why he wanted me, too. You have a role to play there, but don’t let him exploit you.”

My head was starting to ache. I needed a shower, but the questions wouldn’t stop coming. “I still think there’s more to it. What aren’t you telling me? And, how did Maxwell know about this?”

Arys stroked a hand down my cheek before pulling me back down beside him. “Harley made him, too. We were close at one time. Don’t worry about this stuff, ok? We’re strong together. I’d walk into the sun before I’d let anything happen to you. But, if you still have questions, read the journal I gave you. Then if you still want to, we’ll talk further.”

He hugged me close, an action that silenced my further questions. Arys believed we were made for each other, and he believed it would destroy us both. Rather than push the subject the way I wanted to, I clung to him in quiet contemplation.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d just heard. Pieces were missing, I was sure of it. I needed to read Arys’ journal sooner rather than later.

Replaying the events of the evening in my mind, I was faced with the raw truth of what had really occurred. Arys’ intent had been for me to develop control, to conquer the undeniable call of the bloodlust before it devoured me. I had failed.

I should have been content to be there with him in that moment, but I was worried. Arys had stopped me from killing more than once. I couldn’t always rely on him to fix my mistakes before I made them.

This was bad. I was slipping further into the clutches of a weakness I now knew we both feared. I couldn’t let it claim me, but I was running out of time. Every time I gave in to the welcoming splendor of the bloodlust, I lost a bit more of what little humanity I had left. Arys’ words echoed inside my head.
Master it or it masters you.

Epilogue

It was as close to normal as I was going to get. I had the house to myself, a rarity. I didn’t like to think about it much, but I still wasn’t comfortable being in Raoul’s house alone. With an episode of
Castle
on television and the scent of pizza permeating the house, I curled up on the couch with a coffee in hand.

My laptop sat next to me on the middle cushion. I glared at it and clicked a few things randomly. Though I hadn’t had much time to break my way into Veryl’s files, I wasn’t having any luck. At all.

Setting my mug on the coffee table, I took a bite of pizza before typing “open password protected files” into Google. The results were repetitive. Sites trying to sell me software or the same bits of information that were getting me nowhere. I needed to find a professional to do it for me, one who would keep his or her mouth shut.

One thing at a time.

I glanced at the old, leather journal where it sat on the far end of the coffee table. I hadn’t opened it yet despite how badly I wanted to know what was inside. It felt good to sit on my couch and watch TV like a normal person. I didn’t get to do this enough. I wanted to savor it. The moment I opened that book, it would all end, and I’d be faced with reality again.

I laughed at a quip on the show, glancing up to re-immerse myself in the fictional on-screen world. I couldn’t look at the television without my gaze straying to the large, framed photo above it. It felt surreal to stare into my own eyes without recognition.

The gift I’d received from Kylarai and Zoey had been a photo of Shaz and me. Kylarai had captured it with her camera early one morning as we’d been trotting through the farmer’s field to her backyard.

In the picture, I was staring off into the distance while Shaz leaned into me, his face rubbing alongside mine. It was really weird to see myself as a wolf. I never did, not like this. Shaz stood out brilliantly next to me with his bright green eyes and white fur. My ash blond fur and dark eyes weren’t quite as striking, but I had to admit, together we looked good. Maybe even beautiful.

It was one of the most meaningful gifts I’d ever gotten. I’d cried a little when I first saw it. It symbolized a side of me that I saw less frequently these days. It also made me ache for Shaz.

I was expecting him close to dawn. Until then it was just me, my locked files and Arys’ journal. More than enough to keep me busy.

While munching on pizza I made a few more feeble attempts at busting into Veryl’s files. I didn’t want to give up, but I was getting nowhere. I was also using it as a way to procrastinate on the journal. Whatever was in the files could wait; I couldn’t access it, and anything inside had been hidden from me for a while now. Arys’ journal was right there, waiting for me to open it.

Since our night at the hotel a week ago, he had done all he could to avoid talking about it further. He thought he was going to destroy me, thereby destroying us both. I understood his concern, but I was skeptical. I’d come close to death enough times to know that it could never be so cut and dry.

So some witch had been able to see that Arys wasn’t a lone soul? So what? It didn’t mean we were destined to self-destruct. Lena, too, had been aware there was something big between us, but she’d never spoken of doom and gloom, although she had been full of warnings.

I missed her. It hurt to think about her, flashing back to the night she died. I still wished I could have made Maxwell suffer. However, I had a renewed confidence since I’d killed him. I’d said that if anyone had a right to Harley’s place in Vegas, it was me. Knowing that to be true, I didn’t fear anyone or anything coming out of Sin City now. If they came, I’d be ready.

I couldn’t say that I missed Veryl. He was one individual I simply couldn’t mourn. If that made me a bad person, then so be it.

Since his death Lilah had taken over the office. We hadn’t spoken about it much. I didn’t know whether or not the information he had on her had been leaked. I didn’t ask.

Everything else functioned like usual. Jez was back at it, hunting the newborn vamps and Weres that I’d tired of. She enjoyed it, and someone had to take care of that stuff. Kale, like me, had joined Shya’s personal team. I had yet to hear from the demon since the last time I’d seen him. I was still reeling from that night.

I didn’t trust Shya. At this point, I had no reason to. But, I couldn’t shake the feeling that working with him was the right thing to do. If there were forces out there, other supernaturals that were working to expose us all on a grand scale then I had to be involved. My own ass was on the line. 

Jez had been going out of her way to avoid Kale. I’d suggested that they talk about it, but she’d declared she wasn’t ready and might never be. When I’d pushed her on it, she had promptly asked if I’d be on her side if she had been the one in love with me instead of Kale. I let it go. I felt bad for Kale, but he’d really fucked up. Jez would either come around or not.

Abandoning my laptop for the night, I clutched my coffee cup in both hands and watched the rest of the show. It felt weird to just sit and do nothing. I couldn’t help but feel like I should be looking over my shoulder for danger or babysitting the assholes at The Wicked Kiss. Being in the comfort of my own home, doing something other than sleeping, felt really nice. I needed more of this.

The pizza was good, but it wasn’t what I really wanted. The bloodlust lurked deep inside. It would be unbearable within the next night or two. I didn’t intend to let it reach that point. When Shaz arrived, I would take blood from him. I’d done it before. He could defend himself from me in ways a human couldn’t, a relief, but it wasn’t enough. I still hungered for the kill.

Once I started thinking about it, my moment of normalcy was over. Arys feared the darkness he saw growing within me, his darkness. I had to win this battle.

With a sigh I set my coffee aside and reached for Arys’ journal. Having a written account of events from his life before me was almost too good to be true. What I found inside could open the door to memories locked in my subconscious. I remembered enough of Arys’ memories to know that some were better left hidden from my conscious mind, but it was too late for that. We were part of one another.

I ran a finger over the plain cover. It had worn thin in places and bore the marks of decades of wear. I was nervous and had to laugh at myself. Part of me was afraid to open it and see what was on the first page.

Curiosity and the need to know won out. So much
lay
ahead. I had to be prepared to take on whatever came our way. Reading this journal could help me do that. Swallowing my hesitation, I bit the bullet and opened the cover.

The first page was written in faded ink. Arys had done a remarkable job preserving it. The date at the top of the page was October, 1849. My gaze fell upon the first line, and my heart dropped.

I saw her again in my dreams, the wolf.

I was shocked, so much so that I had to pause before I could continue. It was almost too much to wrap my mind around, and I’d barely begun. The fact that Arys had never told me this said more about him than I think he’d ever want to admit. He had a vulnerability, and I was it.

I held the journal carefully, as if it would crumble to dust if I gripped it too hard. Taking a few calming breaths, I leaned back on the couch and began to read.