Blonde and Blue (28 page)

‘What, pray tell, are you doing, my wolf?’ Arys’ voice boomed through my head, scaring me out of the hazy lull I’d fallen into.

Jerking upright in bed, I swallowed hard and gasped for breath as my heart pounded. ‘Nothing. Just trying to fall asleep.’

‘Fall asleep? Or dig through my memories for answers I’m not ready to give you?’

Tapping Arys’ thoughts was not part of the plan. I kicked myself, glad he couldn’t see me. I knew he’d be giving me
the look
, the what-the-hell-are-you-thinking look.

‘You weren’t supposed to know.’ Sometimes, censoring myself was for the best, but this wasn’t one of them.

‘I gathered.’ Even telepathically his cynical tone came across just fine. ‘Go to sleep, Alexa. You’ll know when I’m ready for you to know.’

That chauvinist attitude ticked me off, and I let him feel my anger. It was just like him to boss me around because he wasn’t in control of a situation. ‘Don’t tell me what to do, Arys. You’ll have a fight on your hands.’

His low, velvet smooth chuckle floated through my mind to touch me intimately. ‘Do what you will then, you feisty little pain in the ass.’

He was gone, closing the door between us with a force I felt. He didn’t think I could do it. If Arys believed I could sift through his memories like rifling through a file folder, there’s no way he would have laughed it off. Cocky vampire.

Sleep came and with it the deep dreamless slumber that often accompanied extreme fatigue. If I was going to get the information I felt entitled to, it wasn’t going to be easy.

Waking just past sunset, I felt momentarily disoriented. As much as I would have loved to stay in bed, I had things to do. Once Maxwell and Claire were dealt with, I was having a movies in bed weekend come hell or high water.

Rather than attempt a last-minute wolf pack meeting, I decided to call select members one by one. The town pack was small and for the most part, tightly knit. However, a few pack members had a family, children from before the change. I wouldn’t call them. I wouldn’t risk anyone’s mother or father.

I didn’t want to ask Kylarai because I knew she’d say yes. Endangering her was not what I wanted. Yet, she was my beta wolf, and she would be insulted if I didn’t call her first. While I peered into the bathroom mirror and applied smoky black eyeliner, she returned my call.

“Julian wants to come,” she informed me as soon as I picked up. “I think you should let him. Zak’s coming, too. How many do you want to bring? That will make five altogether, us included.”

I leaned in close to the mirror to double-check the liner framing my brown eyes. “Four. I don’t plan on shifting. Four should be plenty. I don’t want to drag too many innocent pack members into this either. Julian has dues to pay. I’ll gladly let him put his life on the line. I guess Zak’s a big boy. But, are you sure you want to come, Ky? Don’t feel obligated.”

“Of course I feel obligated. We’re pack. You know I’ve got your back if you need me. I want to back you up, Alexa.” She paused, and I heard papers rustling in the background. “Besides, I could use a little excitement.”

Kylarai had been itching to break away from the same old routine for a while now. I couldn’t blame her in the least. It was hard enough to see how my world had affected Shaz. I wasn’t letting it happen to Ky, too.

“Excitement that could get you killed isn’t necessarily the best way to break away from the everyday.” I recalled the utter horror and disgust on Kylarai’s face when we were in The Kiss.

“Trust me, Alexa. It will be good for me to help you kick some vampire ass. Just say when, and I’ll be ready.”

Ah. It made sense now. Kylarai saw a chance to sink fangs into some vampires, and she wanted to take it. Since Arys and I had bonded through blood, Ky had been less than enthusiastic about my relationship with him. If tearing a strip out of Claire and Maxwell made her feel any better about it, then so be it. I was suddenly relieved. She could handle this.

It would be several hours yet before sunrise drew near. Perhaps it would be smart to lay low until then. I had no such intentions.

“I have some things to do. I’ll call you later. Be ready by dawn.”

Chapter Seventeen

A vampire lover with something to hide, a wolf mate with his own dirty secrets and a birthday in less than a week. If I lived to see my twenty-seventh birthday without losing my last shred of sanity, it would be a miracle. By that time I might be hard pressed to find a reason to celebrate. If I didn’t self destruct by then, I’d drink to that.

The bloodlust that had me currently stalking the slums was just the icing on the proverbial cake. I was giving in on my terms. Hunting down my own victim had to be better than letting the hunger choose one for me. By starving the bloodlust, I only weakened myself. I was through with that shit.

I knew exactly what I wanted.

A few blocks away from Chinatown, the real street
people
showed their faces. A couple of crackheads harassed a prostitute for money half a block away. I watched from the shadows as she lipped them off while threatening them with a can of pepper spray. She was young, too young to be selling herself for drug money. Perhaps what she was about to see would be enough to get her off the streets.

I didn’t want her nor the junkies ambling away, chased off by the sight of the pepper spray. Some vampires might not mind some illegal narcotics in the blood, but to me it just stank of toxicity. I was counting on stereotypes to deliver me a victim I could sink my teeth into.

The need to satisfy the hunger was constant, but I was content to wait. It would be worth it. I didn’t have to wait long before a simple beige sedan rolled to a stop beside her. Excitement thrilled through me. Any john that was willing to pick up a streetwalker as young as her was fair game as far as I was concerned.

She leaned down near the driver’s window to speak with him. He looked like your everyday guy. Short, dark hair and glasses, he was clean-cut with a professional appearance. He could have been a doctor or a banker, a regular professional with a regular life. But here he was, stopping off for a piece of underage action on his way home. So now, he was mine.

After exchanging a few words, she walked around the car to the passenger side. With preternatural stealth and speed, I attacked. I sprang at the car like a rabid cat, easily dragging the driver out. His eyes widened in sudden fright as he drank in the sight of me snarling down at him.

The girl shrieked and jumped away from the car as it rolled along, still in gear. It came to a stop against a nearby light standard. The john put up a good fight. He flailed like a victim in a horror movie during those last few seconds before the axe falls. I loved it. Every panicked motion and high-pitched, pathetic scream fed the hunger burning inside.

The prostitute was forgotten as her shrieks echoed in the distance along with the click of her high heels. A small, twisted part of me said,
take it slow
, but I couldn’t resist. I tore into him with a frenzy of fangs and claws. His blood was hot against my face, and I sighed when it hit my tongue.

Everything in me that was vampire cried out in victory while my wolf was strangely content with our choice of victim. I barely left him in one piece. Wolf fangs did a hell of a number on the throat of a human. He was a mangled mess when I decided I’d had my fill.

Fed by his fear and my lust, my ears buzzed with high-running energy.

My body vibrated with exhilaration and an erotic heat swept me. Looking at the remains of my victim, I knew I had to act fast, but part of me didn’t give a damn if anyone else happened to come along. Really, what were they going to do about it?

That kind of thinking was going to get me in shit. With a euphoric giggle, I dragged the body over to the car and stuffed it in the trunk. Yeah, this one was going to give a detective something to ponder. I should have at least dumped him in the river, but there was no time for that. This was exactly the kind of kill that would have had Veryl jumping down my throat. Somehow, I had the feeling Shya wouldn’t feel the same way.

Veryl.
Yes, that was something coming up quickly on my to do list. Licking the blood from my lips and fingertips, I slipped back into the shadows and made my way back to my car. The rush of what I’d just done had me soaring, and I regretted how quickly it had all happened. I recognized the vampire’s need to draw it out, to enjoy every second. My victim had gotten off lucky, this time.

I knew I should have been afraid of how close I was walking to the blood madness I found so repulsive in the vampires of The Wicked Kiss. I wasn’t. I had too many other things to fear.

As I basked in the metaphysical ecstasy, I was numb to the emotional turmoil that I’d sought escape from. Perfect. Turning my emotions off was the only way I could get through the next day or so without coming apart. Telling myself things could be worse did nothing to make me believe it. If I let myself think about it, I saw Shaz with that vampire bitch, and it threatened to bring me down.

The afterglow of the kill enveloped me in a safe, warm circle of energy that danced with the promise of sanctity. Nothing could hurt me if I stayed wrapped inside this feeling. It made sense when I applied it to both Arys and Kale. They sought escape from the pain of raw emotion in their kills. But, if that soon became the only way to find freedom, was it not just a different form of imprisonment?

Muttering a few obscenities under my breath, I decided pondering the depth of it all was a waste of the amazing power high I was riding. My limbs felt light and floaty. My keen senses were finer tuned than usual if that were possible. The sounds of the city’s dark side was filled with the occasional squeal of tires, loud voices and far off shrieks. The creatures of the night wore many faces and forms. I was just one of so many.

As I drove through the slums, watching it slip away to better neighborhoods, I expected to feel guilt or shame. I felt nothing. By the time I sat in my car in The Wicked Kiss parking lot, I was certain I’d just rid myself of the last part of me that had been human.

I wrestled with the decision to go inside. The black Camaro a few spaces away taunted me as surely as it had my adrenaline pumping. I wasn’t ready to confront Kale. I knew I never would be. If I didn’t feel such obligation to this hell hole, I would consider leaving and never coming back. If only.

The moment I crossed the threshold into the club I felt Kale’s gaze land upon me, and I just needed one stiff drink. I headed straight for the
bar.
I waited for Josh to slide
me a whiskey
, doing all I could to avoid looking when I felt Kale sidle up beside me.

The whiskey hit my bloodstream and quickly paled in comparison to the rush of blood and death. I shoved the empty glass away and turned to Kale, expecting to pass out from the nerves.

The burning emotion in his eyes said more than words. It tested my resolve and urged me to give in to the promise of the comfort that I knew I could find in him. Wanting someone this bad wasn’t right. Not when you couldn’t really have them.

“I shouldn’t have run out on you the other night. I hope you can forgive me for that. I’ve been kicking myself ever since. It was selfish.” The atmosphere grew intense. Kale’s energy was running hot.

I fidgeted with a strand of my hair, feeling the anxious need to keep my hands busy. “It was smart. I don’t blame you. Really.”

“It was chicken shit. I should have stayed.” Kale grabbed my hand and slipped his fingers between mine. The undying hunger I had for him flared to life. “I didn’t want this to happen, Alexa. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. But, it’s too late for that now.”

“Kale, don’ t… we don’t need to do this right now.” I choked on my guilt; I seemed to have so much of it these days.

“I know you’ll never love me the way I want you to. But, I know you feel something for me. And whatever that is, I need to know. I think you owe me that much.”

What was it about Kale that brought me to my knees? He was one of the strongest people I knew, having survived more than most could dream of. All he had to do was turn those passion-filled eyes on me, and I became weak.

“I owe you more than that. I’m so confused … so much is going on, and I’m starting to feel like I’ve reached my limit on how much I can take. I want to escape, and the only way I know how is by giving in. Giving in to you, to the bloodlust … I see everyone around me doing the same, and I can’t take anymore.”

The emotion burst forth as the place deep inside where I tried to bottle it up reached capacity. I wanted to cry, but I refused to let the blood tears fall. Screw that.