Authors: Lisa N. Paul
“My God, Olivia,” Decker said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t believe it’s been a year. We miss you.”
He leaned over and caressed the stone as ripples of nausea and waves of guilt sliced through his gut. Guilt for how they’d been and the way he felt. Remorse for all of the things he could have done differently and hadn’t. And deep regret that his little girl would grow up without her mother. He looked at the sky as a fresh burden washed over him, and he prayed for peace. He needed to let go of the blame that weighed him down. Logically, he knew the accident wasn’t his fault, but the marriage—well, he sure as hell wasn’t blameless there. And for that, his heart hurt every single day.
Staring at Olivia’s headstone, memories from that horrific afternoon slammed into him. She had been angry with him, and she had been for quite some time. But instead of discussing her feelings the way he’d urged her to do many times, her behavior defaulted into passive-aggressive tantrums and finally a text message tirade. Her last words were branded in his mind and on his phone.
Charlotte sighed softly in her sleep. The sweet sound quickly brought Decker out of the past as he watched his baby girl fall quiet once again.
A year had gone by in a flash, his daughter keeping him on his toes and on the go. But when the house was quiet at night as he got ready for bed, Decker let his mind wander. He allowed himself to think about Olivia and how things had been back when they first met. When they saw what they thought they wanted in each other as they fell in love with the illusion of love.
After all, it hadn’t been that many years before when the woman who’d shared his last name had been exactly what he thought he should have. Someone laid-back and intelligent instead of a dim-witted, over-eager woman looking to get her hands on either his money or his dick. While he’d been happy to share both, it eventually got mundane, and he started looking for more.
When he was first introduced to Olivia Colver, he’d been having drinks at the country club where she and his brother were members. Not being a country club kind of man, he’d never met her before, and he was entranced by her beauty, her shrewdness, and her refined demeanor. She was the opposite of what he’d been unsuccessfully dating and exactly what he thought the business side of him should appreciate. He wanted her, and he could tell by the way she flirted with her pretty smiles and tiny giggles that the feelings were mutual, so he pursued her with little resistance and savored the catch. His desire was so strong that he ignored the glaring warning signs and the flashing lights screaming that there were large differences between them. Over time, the very things that had attracted him to Olivia and her to him were the things that wedged them apart.
He’d been on a new job site the day of Olivia’s accident. His company, Brand Construction, had once been a small business founded by his grandfather and grown by his father into a large group; now one of the biggest companies in the Philadelphia area and one that was known for giving back to the community when it could. Decker and his younger brother, Ford, were its sole owners. While there wasn’t a job too big or small within Brand Construction (BC) that Decker or his brother couldn’t do, they each had their preferences of what made them happy. Ford excelled behind the desk, crunching numbers, assembling business deals, obtaining building permits, and schmoozing with the right people. That left Decker doing what he loved, what he was passionate about—building.
Decker’s father had taught him, as a young boy, about wood-working, electrical wiring, and drafting. There were even weekends when he got the opportunity to join his father on a job and learn from the man who was his hero. Those were some of Decker’s happiest childhood memories and where his love of the trade truly began, a love that ran bone deep, one that he treasured with his soul. Something Olivia refused to understand. Something she refused to accept.
While Decker practically thrummed with pride and excitement over landing a huge account, the Robertson Project, one that several of the top construction companies in and around the city had been bidding on, Olivia disapproved of the entire project. In fact, she was livid when she learned that BC had offered to do the entire job for the cost of materials and not a penny more.
“That is no way to run a business, Decker,” she chided coolly. “Your father must be rolling in his grave.”
The words she’d used to cut him barely stung, as she had obviously never met his father. Had she, she would’ve known how truly proud the man would’ve been to see his sons continuing to give so generously.
Olivia came from wealth. She was fine wine, pressed suits, and ballroom dancing, but it was the social status and public opinion that she thrived on. Therefore, the thing that bothered Olivia most, the thing that made her ever-present mask of calmness finally begin to crack, was the fact that Decker himself would be the foreman of the job. He would be overseeing the entire project from start to finish, and he would be working side-by-side with his men—his version of heaven—rather than sitting comfortably behind a desk or out on the golf course. In Olivia’s eyes, public perception of him would be that of a common worker and not the wealthy business owner he actually was.
He and Olivia had been arguing. More like Olivia expressed her strong dislike of certain things, and if Decker didn’t concede to his wife’s wishes, she would freeze him out both emotionally and physically. Having grown up in a loving and nurturing home and seeing the way his parents communicated with each other when they disagreed, Decker tried to compromise with Olivia when the situation needed it, but she was not just a strong woman—she was stubborn. Her desire to be
right
far outweighed her ability to see how unhappy they were becoming as a couple.
Had Olivia not been pregnant when BC landed the coveted Robertson Project, a facility that would house a multitude of resources to help soldiers reintegrate back into society, Decker wasn’t certain they would have stayed together. From that point on, Decker decided which battles to wage and which were best to cede. He loved his wife the best way he could by tucking away pieces of himself and giving her only what she wanted to see. He chose a life with her and their baby, Charlie, or Charlotte, as Olivia demanded their daughter be called, and he knew he’d remain loyal to both his woman and his little girl for the rest of his life.
When the building was finally out of the planning phase and ready to be built, Decker could no longer stay locked behind his desk. The day his brother knocked on his office door changed his life forever.
“Deck, we need to talk.” Those words, combined with Ford’s serious tone, never boded well.
Without looking up from his computer screen, Decker silently waved his brother in and waited for him to take a seat. “What’s up?” Decker asked through a yawn.
He’d been up several times during the night with Charlotte. Olivia refused to do any middle-of-the-night feedings, stating her sleep was what allowed her to retain her patience during the day while Decker was at work and she was
stuck
at home with their child. While he would never complain and would proudly walk through fire for his daughter, his frustration with his wife grew exponentially. After all, Olivia had a nanny watching the baby for four hours a day so she could have “me time.” They had housekeepers, someone who pre-cooked meals, and a laundry service, and when he got home from work, Olivia passed Charlotte off to him, saying that she was exhausted and it was “Daddy time.” Decker hadn’t had more than a few hours of sleep on any given night in almost a year, yet his wife never seemed to stop complaining.
“Look, Deck,” Ford’s voice shook Decker from his reverie and brought him back to the here and now. “I know you know this, but I’m gonna say it anyway. They break ground on Monday.”
Decker’s eyes lifted to meet his brother’s. Of course he knew when they broke ground. This project meant the world to him, them. “Yeah, I know.”
“You wanted this job, bro. You lobbied for it, you procured the funds, you found the perfect site… this is your heart, Deck. You need your hands on this job with your men.”
Decker looked at his brother, and he could see the sincerity in his eyes. Ford was a dependable friend, a tough-as-nails business partner, a compassionate man, and a loyal brother. There was no doubt what he was saying was coming from the heart and was completely true.
“Ford”—Decker rubbed his heavy eyes—“you know it isn’t that easy. She’ll be pissed as hell if I run this job. It’s gonna get a ton of publicity.”
His brother closed his eyes, scrubbed his hands over his face, and pulled in a deep breath, holding it for a second before exhaling slowly. “For fuck’s sake, Deck, when the hell isn’t she pissed?” Ford opened his eyes and leaned forward in his chair, his palms flattened on Decker’s desk. “She’s been slowly draining the life out of you since the day you met her, but you loved her, so I’ve kept my fucking mouth shut. But honestly, I can’t do it anymore.”
Decker waited in silence while Ford carefully measured his words. It was something his little brother was known for in both their business and personal lives. The man never spoke without weighing how his words would affect the outcome of a situation.
“I know she’s your wife. Okay, I get it. But what I don’t understand is why your marriage is all about what Olivia wants, what Olivia needs, and what makes Olivia happy. What about you?”
“You’re right.” Bile rose in Decker’s stomach as he conceded quietly. “I want to do this job, Ford, I need it.” Decker ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I’m fucking suffocating sitting here behind this desk. No offense, I know you love this business side, but I need to get my fucking hands dirty, man.” As if a weight had been lifted off his chest, Decker breathed deep. Come Monday morning, he was finally rejoining his crew and taking control of some part of his life. “I’ll contact Troy today and let him know that I’ll be stepping in as foreman. I’ll move him to a different site where he’ll not only be in charge but he’ll have the opportunity for overtime. The guy will be thrilled.” Ford’s eyes mirrored his own excitement, and for a moment, he swore he saw his father in his younger brother’s smile.
“You do realize that this is gonna go over like a lead balloon at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, right?” Ford quipped as he motioned toward the picture of Olivia and Charlotte on Decker’s desk.
“Yeah, Ford, I know. But honestly, she and I are gonna need to discuss it tonight. Because you’re right, our marriage has been all about her for way too long. Things need to change before it’s too late.”
The following week, while wiping the sweat from his brow, Decker marveled at how finally getting the opportunity to work in the field had brought some semblance of peace back into his mind, if not his marriage. Little did he know how short-lived the euphoria would be.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Sliding a soiled thumb across the screen, he answered his wife’s call. “Hey, Olivia, what’s up?”
“Decker.”
It amazed him how one word in her icy tone could tighten his entire frame.
“There’s media coverage at the site today.” It wasn’t a question as much as an accusation and he refused to get into another argument with her.
“Yeah… so what?” He didn’t bother hiding his annoyance.
“So what?” she shrieked. “Do you have any idea how many people will be watching the news? I saw the teaser, Decker, and there you were. You looked filthy. Like… like… a bum all covered in dirt and grime. You pay people to do that kind of grunt work, you don’t do it yourself. What will people think of us or our family if they see you working like a low-class nothing?”
They will think I’m a great business man who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.
He bit that thought back, knowing damn well the words would be wasted on a woman who didn’t care to hear logic. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and middle finger, Decker spoke. “Olivia, we’ve discussed this, and frankly, I don’t have the time or the desire to go over it again. I want to do this job. I
need
to do it. I’m doing it for us, our family. Now, I have to get back to work. See you when I get home.” Decker’s disgust and frustration were cresting to a point they’d never reached before, and he knew he needed to end the call before he said something he’d later regret.
“Absolutely not, Decker Brand.” Her chastising tone was a new addition to her demeaning repertoire. It gave her the simple shove from passive aggressive right into nasty aggressive. “I am coming down there with a proper suit for you to wear. If you think I’m going to allow you to be interviewed in ripped jeans and a dusty tee shirt, then you are sadly mistaken. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Olivia ended the call before Decker got the chance to speak another word.
His phone buzzed, indicating a text message only seconds later—
O:
Make sure your hands are clean you don’t want dirt on your suit.
What the fuck? Anger thrummed through Decker’s body as he tapped out his response.
D:
Do not come here, Olivia, I mean it.
O:
On my way, be ready and clean
D:
If ur driving don’t text. It’s dangerous. Go home to our daughter, Liv.
O:
YOU DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO, DECKER!!
O:
Clean up! People respect money not dirt
Decker’s head spun as his frustration hit levels never before reached. He pumped his fingers into a fist to avoid tapping out a response to what sounded like Olivia’s descent into lunacy, but he refused to encourage more texting while she drove. That was just another point of contention between the two of them, so he would have to wait until she arrived. He shook his head at the impending scene she was sure to create. There was no way he would cater to any more of her bullshit. His brother had been right—he had lost so much of himself in the three years since he and Olivia had been together. While he was willing to compromise, he realized that she was completely averse. Another text buzzed—