Blind Impulse (25 page)

He pulled her closer amazed at the feel of her slight body against his.  Yet the power of her sobs tore at her and Simon’s heart twisted.  “’Tis all right, Juliana,
” he whispered, pressing his lips against the top of her head.  Her hair smelled sweet, reminding him of sunshine and flowers.  Reminding him of the little girl who used to laugh and play in the gardens - when her smile had been quick and bright and her bl
ue eyes sparking joyously. 

Yet something within Simon fought to deny his feelings.  He was the constable of Kirkoswald, and her station was far above his.  His duty was to protect her just like his duty was to protect Garin and those who lived in Kirkosw
ald.

Still, he could not stop his hands from gently rubbing her back, nor could he stop her arms from tightening around him as she clung to him for comfort.  “I should have never stayed in the shadows,” he whispered.

She gulped down a sob.  “What?” she ask
ed
,
falling still against him.”

“
That night your father rebuked you, I stood guard over you in the barn.”

Juliana sucked in her breath and looked up at him.  “You...you were there?”

“
The entire time.”

For a moment she gaped at him.  Then Simon swore he saw
a spark appear in her bleak eyes.  Or was he imagining things?  “There is an answer to this,” he said, trying to distract himself.  “We just have to find it.”

She continued to gaze at him unflinchingly, her blue eyes liquid and vibrant with emotion.  Simon
found his fingers lightly drying her tears.  He traced the delicate hollow of her cheek, moving toward the dusty rose of her lips.  He lowered his head so his lips were only a hairsbreadth above hers then froze, realizing what he was going to do.  Suddenl
y, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t back away but neither could he kiss her.

Juliana simply gazed up at him, her dark lashes lowered like sun-tipped crescents.

He couldn’t...he didn’t dare.  Juliana’s heart was broken and she could not even seek the comfort o
f her family.  She reached out for solace from the only one who would give it.  Simon could not betray her trust, he could not take advantage of her pain.

But the blood thrummed through his body making him acutely aware of her pressed so intimately against
him.  His gaze focused on her lips, soft and perfect.  For the first time in his life, Simon lost a battle against himself.  He slowly lowered his head, telling himself he gave her every chance to move away from him.  But she did not.  He brushed his lips
against hers, surprised at their delicate warmth, then traced his tongue over them, enjoying her sweet, heady taste.  Juliana made a soft noise in her throat and Simon crushed his mouth against hers, kissing her deeply.

A riot of glorious sensation explod
ed within him.  Juliana surrendered completely to his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and weaving her fingers through his long hair.  The world spun around him, threatening to buckle his knees.  Abruptly Simon hauled himself back, fighting to catch
his breath.  Dear God, never had he almost lost himself to a kiss.

He had to leave now.  Simon turned and walked out, closing the door firmly behind him.

****

Juliana stood alone in her room, her thoughts reeling and her body trembling.  She blinked at
the door in shock and confusion.  Slowly, her fingers touched her lips, still
tingling with the glory of Simon’s kiss.  Never had a man kissed her like that.  Even Peter had not been able to so completely lay claim to her with such a simple action. 

But S
imon was nothing like Peter.  Simon was a man bred for war, with a strength of soul she had never known.  She squeezed her eyes shut, her body shaking even harder.  His kiss had been powerful, destroying all of her defenses, yet infinitely gentle, warm and
glorious.  What would it be like to have him lay claim to her completely?  What would it be like to have his great power tempered with love?

She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, a magnificent warmth coursing through her.  Slowly, Juliana open
ed her eyes and gazed at the stew he had brought.  She surprised herself by realizing Simon was strong enough to bring an important change with only one simple action.  She reached for the bowl.  “You are right, Simon,” she whispered.  “There is an answer
for this, and I mean to find it.”

****

On the third day, Garin fought against a numb, black haze threatening to engulf his soul.  He had not been able to sleep since Alyna’s injury although he tried.  But his bed now seemed huge and empty.  He stayed wit
h Alyna as much as he could but Brother Martin fought him every step of the way, swearing she would taint him.  Her fever grew worse.  The stench of the smoke pots sickened Garin and the heat in the room threatened to crush the air from his lungs.

Garin he
ld Alyna’s hand, he felt the bandages on her arm from where Martin constantly bled her.  Garin’s stomach twisted as he touched her face, her skin paper thin over the perfect bone.

Juliana stayed away from him, although he knew she helped tend to Alyna.  Ce
cily worked hard caring for Alyna and Geoff.  Juliana would stay with Alyna to allow Cecily to get some rest.  But when Garin entered the room, she would leave and wait in the hall.  She said nothing to him, except to report what Martin had done that day i
f he asked.

Garin did not know if he could really trust Juliana to care for his wife, but he had little choice.  Everyone was overworked trying to manage the keep during the siege.

He cradled Alyna in his arms, while Cecily tended to Geoff.  She returned,
knocking on the door as she opened it.

“
How is he?” Garin asked, his voice graveled.

“
Much stronger today.  He’s actually starting to complain about the medicines and me worrying over him.”

Garin felt his lips tug upward.  “Now that sounds more like the ol
d war horse I know.”

Cecily chuckled.  “Aye, Roger is keeping him company right now.”  She hesitated.  “Garin, he asked why Alyna hasn’t been to see him.  I didn’t know what to tell him.”

Garin sighed, his humor vanishing.  “I shall tell him.”  Carefully,
he returned Alyna to her bed.  She muttered softly in her fever and whispered his name.

“
It’s all right, my sweet,” he murmured, caressing her face.  “I will be back as soon as I can.”

Cecily stepped next to him to guide him around the smoking pots.  Garin
entered the hall and gratefully inhaled the fresh air.  Slowly, he trudged toward Geoff’s room and
knocked on the door.

“
Enter,” Geoff called, his voice still weak but sounding much better.

Garin opened the door, surprised at the difference in the two sic
k rooms.  In Geoff’s he smelled a clean, fresh scent.  He heard birds chirping near the open window.  The temperature was comfortable, almost cool, with no sign of the terrible oppressiveness of Alyna’s room.

“
Hello, Swein, I was beginning to think my good
-son had forgotten me.”

“
Forgotten you?” he said, forcing a smile.  “That is impossible, especially since you won’t allow it.”

Geoff barked a laugh then sucked in his breath.  “Blast, even that hurts.”

“
Good morning, Garin,” Roger said from the corner.

“
We
ll met, Roger.  I hate to interrupt but I need to speak with Geoff a moment.”

“
Of course,” Roger said.  “Emily, guide the baron to the chair and then we’ll go to the hall and get something to eat.”

“
Awright
Papa.” 

Garin felt a tiny hand slide into his an
d tug gently.  He smiled and followed the girl.  “You are a wonderful help, Emily.”

“
Thank you, sir,” she said, her voice grave and formal.

Garin felt his smile growing.  Roger and Emily left, closing the door.  “She is a darling child.”

“
Aye,” Geoff said.
  “Roger was already blind when she was born.  I think she is the only one out of all of us who accepts the state completely and without complaint.”

Garin nodded then sighed heavily.

“
Methinks things are not going well.”

“
Geoff, something happened the othe
r night.”

He sensed Geoff stiffen.  “Have things gone bad with the siege?”

“
Aye,” he whispered, his voice suddenly shaking.  “And with Alyna.”  Struggling to find the words, Garin told him what happened to Alyna and what Juliana had said to him.  Tears gat
hered in his eyes and one escaped down his cheek.  He harshly wiped it away.  Men should not show such weakness in the presence of other men.

“
Sweet Jesu,” Geoff said, his voice terribly faint.

“
I am sorry.  We would have told you sooner but you were weak
from your own injury.”

“
Aye,” he replied and fell silent for a long moment.  He caught Garin’s arm and pulled him close.  “Don’t let them bleed her.  I saw what it did to her mother, Garin.  Don’t let them do it - please.”

Garin heart ached.  He could not
bring himself to tell the man it had already been done.  “But Geoff--”

“
Damnation, Swein, listen to me.  They bled Catherine to death and I watched them do it.  Alyna knows the old ways of healing.  She knows that bloodletting only hastens death.”

“
Geoff--
”

“
Have you not noticed my sick room is different from hers?”

“
Aye, but--”

“
That is because Alyna forbade Martin from tending to me,” he snapped, his voice growing stronger.  “No priest knows healing like Alyna, and Cecily knows much from helping her.  Did
Cecily not protest?”

“
Aye but Martin is charged with healing.”

“
Damnation, Garin, get your head out of your arse.  Martin is charged with spiritual healing, and his foolishness could very well kill Alyna.  I know because that’s what happened to her mother
.  And I stood back and watched them, they killed Catherine with my blessing.”

“
Geoff, please--”

“
Shut up and listen Swein, if you want Alyna to live, forbid the monk from touching her, get her out of that room and listen to Cecily.”

The blood drained from
Garin’s face.

“
Garin, you must hear me.  I know exactly what you are going through.  Take her back to her own room where she is comfortable.  Stay with her as much as you can, tell her everything you’ve always wanted to tell her, hold her to you while you
have the chance.  Let her know how much you love her.  You may not have tomorrow.”

Garin jerked away, grief tearing at his heart.  “She can’t die, Geoff.  I can’t lose her.”  Abruptly he stood and quickly left, striding purposely toward Alyna’s room.

He f
ound Cecily raging in the hall, her voice laced with pain and sorrow.  “Juliana, I can’t believe he’s bleeding her again.  He just did it this morning.  She is so weak, how can she fight the fever if he keeps draining the life from her veins?”

Garin’s head
spun.

“
I don’t know Cecily,” Juliana said angrily.  “We do not have the power to stop him.  Only one person does--”  Abruptly she sucked in her breath.  “Garin, thank God you are here.”

Garin’s jaw tightened as he sensed Juliana step closer.

“
Garin, I kno
w you hate me,” she said.  “But you must stop Martin.  He’s killing her.”

“
Aye,” he replied.  He threw open the door.  “Brother Martin.”

“
Your excellency,” the man said, startled.  “How many times must I warn you about entering this room?”

“
Be silent,” he
snapped and stepped forward.  His foot bumped a smoke pot and he kicked it hard.  It smashed into the wall and sizzled, the liquid choking the tiny fire.

“
Sweet Mary,” Juliana cried, pushing past Garin.  “How much blood have you taken from her this time?”

“
Woman,” Martin growled.  “Mind your place.”

“
She is,” Garin said.  “Juliana, bind the wound on Alyna’s arm.”

“
Yes, Garin.”

“
What are you doing?”

“
This stops now,” Garin snarled.  “No more bleedings, no more foul pots, no more
purgings
.  He stepped forward
again and felt Cecily grab his arm, guiding him around another pot.