Blind Faith (5 page)

The kid would’ve had a great life with a real family and love.

Plus, the proof of one kid would show Shane and Matt that they could have kids. Something they

desperately wanted.

The families on television had parents, kids, and cousins, and that’s all the Dean boys had ever wanted.

His lungs seized as the impossible picture of a family, of his child, faded into nothingness. For a very

brief time, even though the kid hadn’t made it, Nate had been a father. He’d deserved to know that at the

time and to experience the reality of that miracle while there had still been hope.

Audrey had kept that from him. Sure, she’d said she had planned to tell him the truth, and he wanted to

believe her. But even with his abilities, he wasn’t sure. He was as damaged as a guy could get, so why

would any mother want him near a child?

The life he’d lost threatened to consume him, so he slowly, bit by bit, stopped feeling anything. His

head lifted.

He stalked over to the cut-off door perched on an old tree trunk that served as a table. One of the two

green striped patio chairs creaked as he lowered his bulk to sit and booted up his laptop.

Five minutes passed while he typed in security codes until finally his oldest brother came into focus. “I

made contact,” he said.

Matt leaned forward, gray eyes concerned. “And?”

“She lost the baby.” Nate kept his voice level as he gave his report.

Matt blinked and ran a hand over his face. “Jesus, Nate. I’m sorry.”

Pain spiraled in Nate’s gut, and he shoved emotion away. “And we hurt her. When we blew up the

facility… Audrey was there.” He didn’t have the strength to keep his voice from cracking on the end.

Matt stilled. “Was she pregnant? I mean, did we—”

“No. She’d already miscarried when she was at the facility.”

Matt shook his head. “But you made sure she wasn’t there, that she was scheduled to be in DC.”

Yeah. He’d thought he’d taken care of her, even though they were over. But he hadn’t, and something

had gone wrong. The woman definitely had a limp. His guilt angered him, and he fought to keep his

expression stoic so his brother wouldn’t see the turmoil. “Apparently Audrey was at the medical facility

because the miscarriage had started.”

“So she lost the baby.” Matt swallowed. “How many experiments did the scientists put her through at

that time? Just because a woman finally got pregnant by one of us?”

Nate sat back, his mind reeling. He hadn’t even considered what the commander and his scientists had

probably done to Audrey in testing after they’d finally found a female who could get pregnant with one of

the Gray brothers’ sperm.

The evil scientists had harvested the brothers’ sperm during surgeries to repair injuries sustained while

on missions, and then they had tried unsuccessfully to impregnate surrogate mothers. Even before this

violation occurred, the brothers had fully intended to escape the group that had raised and trained them.

Freedom mattered.

But the military group, led by the commander, had made sure there was a brother out on mission at all

times, and if he failed, his brothers would die back home.

Until they finally were at the base at the same time.

They’d blown it all to hell and escaped.

“When we finally got loose, Audrey stayed with the commander and her mother,” Nate said slowly.

“Her mother always had a hold on her I didn’t understand, and now Audrey is working with them.” Of

course, he’d never had a mother, so he didn’t understand the bond.

Anger blazed across Matt’s face before he quickly banished it. “Maybe Audrey didn’t have a choice?”

“No. She chose them, chose working with them over me, before she knew she’d become pregnant.”

Nate shook his head. “When she ended things between us almost five years ago, she even admitted her

mother set us up from the start. I assume Dr. Madison wanted to see what I’d be like in love. If I could feel

love for somebody who wasn’t family.” The thought that he’d been used by the one person he’d ever let in

shot spikes into his gut, even after all of these years. When Audrey had confirmed her mother’s

involvement in their relationship, she’d been telling the truth.

“I know it was an experiment initially, but that doesn’t mean she knew all the facts. Maybe she was

supposed to befriend you,” Matt said.

“I know.” Nate stretched his neck, his shoulders settling. “We started as an experiment, but her feelings

were real. Just not strong enough to trust me when things turned bad.” And that was the crux of the matter.

Matt nodded, turned to the side, and glared. “Stop poking me.”

“I’m not.” Shane, Nate’s younger brother, came into focus as he shoved a shoulder into Matt and

scooted him over. “Are you in a secured place?”

“Yes.” Nate glanced around at the two-room cabin. A bedroom took up one room, while a small

kitchenette fronted the far wall near a rugged stone fireplace in the other room. “Nobody followed me from

town.”

“You didn’t take Audrey there?” Shane asked.

“Of course not,” Nate said. “I believe I taught you evasive maneuvers when you were eight years old.”

Shane frowned, his eyes identical to Matt’s in both gray color and deep concern. “Just wanted to make

sure your head was on straight.”

“I’m fine.” Nate drew in a deep breath, calming his racing heart. Seeing Audrey again had taken a toll,

but he was fine now. Reaching out, he widened the scope of his screen to better see. His brothers were both

over six feet tall and broad with strong features, and their similar faces took up too much room on the

screen. Matt had a square jaw, and Shane’s features appeared more angular, but there was no doubt they

shared a sperm donor. “Audrey is working for Senator Nash, who’s on the appropriation’s subcommittee

for advanced defense spending.”

“In other words, for top-secret, bullshit military experiments and funding,” Shane muttered.

“Exactly,” Nate said, glad to be on the topic of their enemies and not on Audrey.

Matt exhaled. “So, the commander maneuvered Audrey in place to gain more funding. I’m sorry, Nate.”

“Why?” Nate kept his gaze level. “We knew she worked for them. Dr. Madison raised her, so why did

we expect anything different?” Yeah, he felt for Audrey after having been raised by the psychopathic

neurobiologist, but she’d made her choice. He’d offered her freedom, and she’d chosen dubious safety.

“What’s your plan now?” Matt asked quietly.

Nate shrugged. “The commander has a base outside of DC in Virginia, and that’s where we’ll find the

codes and computer system to defuse our chips. And I think that’s where we’ll find Jory.”

Hope leaped across Shane’s face while regret twisted Matt’s lips. “You mean we’ll find out about his

death,” Matt said.

Nat shook his head. His youngest brother had been missing for two years, and Nate had to find Jory.

The chances were good that Jory was dead, but a small marble of hope lived in him that somehow, even

after two years of no contact, Jory somehow still lived. Even after seeing a video showing Jory being shot

and falling to the floor, Nate hoped. Hell, he even prayed in case a God existed who gave a shit. “I’ll find

out what happened to him.”

The hope fled Shane’s expression. “I can’t be sure I saw him move in the other video.”

Nate nodded. Shane had seen a video where he thought Jory had moved after being shot, but Shane had

been suffering from a head injury resulting in amnesia, and the video had never been seen again. “I know,”

Nate said.

Matt cut his eyes at Shane and back at Nate. “I can take over this assignment, Nate.”

“No.” Nate’s jaw hardened until it ached. He understood his brothers were worried about him, but he

couldn’t change that. Both Matt and Shane had somehow found love and the courage to stay with their

women for the small amount of time they had left, and Nate would die trying to save them. They deserved

happiness, if it were possible. Growing up, he’d been the bridge between Matt, who had to train them

mercilessly, and the two younger brothers, Jory and Shane, who still needed hope and fun. Now that Jory

was probably dead, and the other two had found love, Nate had nothing left—except to make sure his

brothers survived.

He could live with that—what else possibly mattered?

Now that two of his brothers were happy, he could finally relax. His job was nearly done. Not once

since Audrey had dumped him had he considered he’d find happiness—he’d known from early on that

he’d end bloody and most likely alone.

While the thought brought some sadness, he’d become accustomed to it. Everyone had a destiny, and

with his skills, the second he’d left the military, he’d become unnecessary after the last mission of

deactivating the chips.

He should probably want the joy his brothers had found, and maybe deep down he did. But the reality

was the reality, so why wish? If he managed to get into the right facility and send out the codes, there was

little chance he’d make it out. Which was all right.

Matt shook his head. “Earth to Nate.”

Nate blinked, his mind zeroing back on the conflict at hand. “I can get what we need from Audrey—you

can’t.” He glanced at his watch, ignoring the innuendo in his words. “Though it’s going to be more difficult

than I’d hoped—she didn’t know about the chips near our spines.”

Matt’s eyebrows rose. “You believe that?”

“Yes. The truth shocked her.”

“So she’ll help us?” Doubt clouded Shane’s face. “Are you sure?”

“She’ll help us.” Nate nodded. The woman would help them whether she liked it or not.

Shane’s jaw hardened. “Did you ask her about Jory?

Nate breathed out. “Not yet. I want to catch her by surprise.”

“Okay,” Shane said. “Get the intel and get out, Nate.”

Nate nodded. “We know the info isn’t at the Colorado base after our last raid, and we blew Tennessee

up. That leaves the new headquarters outside of DC, and Audrey is our way in to get info on the chips as

well as Jory. I’ll check in after phase two tomorrow.” He shut the laptop before his brothers argued any

more.

With a quick glance around the cabin, he fetched his jacket and headed back into the rain. He needed to

see what Audrey did with the opening he’d given her. How loyal was she to the commander and her

mother?

Time to find out. He’d watch her apartment through the night and make sure she went to work in the

morning.

Every instinct he owned clamored that the woman was hiding something.

* * *

couldn’t afford to be in heels if she needed to make a quick escape, and she knew without a doubt that day

was coming.

A kill chip waited next to Nathan’s spine. How was it possible Audrey’s mother had never even hinted

at the deadly device? For five years, Audrey had hoped and prayed Nate had found some sort of happiness.

Freedom.

But no, his very survival had been threatened by Audrey’s mother.

Why in the world did that make her feel guilty?

She reached the grand doorway of her office building and held the door open for a woman pushing a

baby stroller. The baby, a little girl, gurgled up at Audrey with innocent and devastating sweetness.

Audrey bit back an instant slice of pain and tried to smile. Every baby she saw reminded her of the one

she’d lost—even five years after the fact.

Drawing a deep breath, she paused to glance at the reflective windows. The hair on the back of her neck

prickled, proving she was being followed.

But she couldn’t find the soldiers this time. They blended into the crowd.

If they made a move, she wouldn’t know until it happened.

Her breath hitched. Panic rippled through her, and she shoved inside the building, ducking through the

metal detector and hurrying toward the elevator. She made it inside as the doors were closing.

Taking several more deep breaths, she calmed herself. Had she pissed off the commander by ditching

his bulldogs the previous night? What if they made a move on her? Could she fight them off?

As the elevator doors opened to the plush office, she forced a smile and nodded to the receptionist

before maneuvering down a hallway to her office. Setting her briefcase on one of the two leather guest

chairs, she tried not to limp as she crossed around her desk to sit.

Life was spinning out of control. She could no longer identify the people following her, and now, Nate

was going to die in three weeks.

Nausea filled her stomach. She was in the best position to find the codes, but that was by her own

design. She’d schemed to put herself in a position of trust with the commander. For weeks, she’d felt the

presence of the guards the commander had assigned to watch her. For days she’d feared he’d discovered

the truth—that she was working against him. Wholeheartedly.