Blind Faith (23 page)

He murmured something against her lips but
Serena’s
head was still reeling, her mind too far gone to grasp the words.  She’d never experienced the ache of sexual desire before, but she recognized it all the same.  There was a heaviness deep inside, a throbbing that grew more incessant when Will pulled away from her for moment to drag back the bed covers.  He lifted her in his arms, pausing just long enough to kiss her again before gently lowering her onto the cool, crisp sheets.

There was a rustle of movement as Will hastily removed the rest of his clothes, followed by a few moments of absolute stillness.  Serena’s chest tightened when he made no move to join her on the bed. 
What was he waiting for?  Had he changed his mind?

“Will?” she said with uncertainty.

“God, I’m such an idiot,” he groaned.  “I should have planned…no, that’s the wrong word.  It makes it sound as if I
expected
this to happen, and as much as I
hoped
it would, it didn’t occur to me that it would be tonight.”

The bottom dropped out of Serena’s stomach.  “Are you…saying you don’t want to?"

“No!  What I’m saying is that it was stupid of me not to be prepared, and as much as I hate to leave you like this, I’m afraid I have to run out for a few minutes.”

Serena’s spirits plummeted even further when she heard him scrounging around for his recently discarded clothing.  Nothing he’d said made any sense.  Why had he followed her to the bedroom and removed her dress if he wasn’t prepared to make love to her yet?  And how mortifying was it to realize that while
she
had managed to push her fears and reservations aside, Will was having second thoughts?     

“Believe me, sweetheart,” he said grimly, “this is
not
how I envisioned our first time.  But…we need to use protection
,
and that requires a trip to the nearest store.”

“What?” she said faintly.  Serena dragged her mind out of the depressing pit it had fallen into.  “What did you just say?”

Will sat down on the bed next to her.  “I know this the most atrocious timing,” he said in a voice that was both gentle and regretful.  “I swear I
wil
l make it up to you, but we can’t risk you getting pregnant the first time we make love, can we?”

Serena was so relieved she could have cried.  So
that’s
what he meant about not being prepared.  “I thought…never mind, it doesn’t matter.  You don’t have to leave, Will.  What I mean is that I…I am protected.  I’ve been on birth control for years.”

There was a long pause before Will spoke, and when he did, his voice sounded strange, almost as if he had to force the words out.  “Did you love him?”

“Did I…?”  Serena sat up slowly.  “You think that’s why I went on birth control, because I was involved with someone?”

“That’s the usual reason, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is, but that’s not why I started taking them.”

She felt the unexpected sting of tears when he leaned over to leave a ghost of a kiss on her cheek.  “Tell me,” was all he said.   

One tear escaped and then another.  Serena brushed them away, surprised to realize it wasn’t the memory that suddenly made her weepy.  Over the past several years, she
had
dealt with so much of the pain on her own, the uncertainties, the fear; sharing only the barest scraps with Rose when it became too much for her to handle alone.  But now
she had Will, who seemed capable of extracting with two simple words what her family had not been able to coax out of her no matter how hard they tried.  

“When I was in the hospital,” she began, “the doctor tried to explain about the…scar tissue and…what it could mean when I got older.  I wasn’t upset by it.  I don’t think I experienced any emotion at all.  I was just so relieved to know I wasn’t pregnant, I didn’t even ask any questions as to whether I
would
be able to in the future.  My mother was in tears because, of course, she understood that someday I
would
want
to have a baby, but I knew in my heart I would never would.”

“Do you still feel that way?”

Not if it was yours.
  Serena’s stomach fluttered at the idea of carrying Will’s child then quickly shoved her wayward thoughts aside.  Will would probably turn ten shades of green if he knew what she was thinking, especially since he’d been ready to abandon her in the middle of making love to insure it didn’t happen.   

“No, I don’t feel that way anymore,” she replied.  “As I got older I realized it wasn’t that I didn’t want to have a baby so much as what I
would
have to do in order to conceive one.  And there was always the fear I might be attacked again…and have to face an unwanted pregnancy.  That’s when I decided to get on birth control.”

“So the scar tissue isn’t bad enough to keep you from conceiving?”

“It might make it more difficult, but the doctor assured me there wasn’t any reason I couldn’t have a normal, healthy pregnancy when the time came.”

“I’m glad,” Will said as he eased her back against the pillows and began feathering her face with kisses.

A shot of pure happiness pierced her heart.  “You…are?”  Serena managed to squeeze out.

“Very.  Because someday,” he kissed her on the lips, “I’d like to have children too.” 

He didn’t elaborate, and she didn’t ask him to.  It was enough that he
had
given her something to dream about. 

It didn’t take long for Will to lure her back into the heavenly place he’d taken her before, where hypersensitive nerve endings tingled with the lightest of his touches.  She had to remind herself to breathe when his fingertips skimmed over her knee, trialing down her shin to curl around her ankle.  He slipped her sandal off and tossed it to the floor, repeating the action with the other sandal.  A quiver of anticipation raced through her as Will climbed up on the bed and stretched out beside her.

He took his time; languishing over her body, each gentle stroke of his hand as seductive as the bone melting kisses he plied her with.  It didn’t seem to matter where he touched

her; every inch of exposed flesh was a pleasure point, and Will was exceptionally adept at keeping her in a high state of sensual euphoria.  Even when he pulled her close to unhook her bra and remove it, there was only a nanosecond of apprehension before she was once more whisked away by a whirlwind of pleasurable sensations.

Gradually, Serena grew bold enough to touch him too.  She loved the fine hairs on his chest, the bulging muscles in his arms, and how smooth the skin on his back was.  But what she loved most was the deep, vibrating moan that seemed to catch in the back of his throat as her hands wandered with increasing confidence over his body.  It made her feel good to know she had the power to make Will tremble, that his desire for her was so strong he couldn’t control his response to her touch any more than she could control her response to him.

Serena’s breath hitched when Will cupped her breast, slowly raking his thumb across the peak until it beaded then gently drawing it into his mouth.  It felt as if someone had implanted a series of electrical wires inside her body and thrown the switch.  The overlapping currents of intense pleasure ripp
l
ed through her as Will’s tongue and mouth did the most agonizingly delicious things to her.  He moved to the other breast and lavished it with the same attention, suckling and kneading at the same time until the muscles in her abdomen were as taut as a bow string.

“Will…oh, God,” she gasped as his hand glided down her belly and slipped beneath the band of
her
panties.

The first light stroke sent her mind, her body, her senses spiraling out of control.  Serena’s pulse spiked, her temperature shot up several degrees, inner muscles clenching down so hard she had to bite back a guttural moan.  But when his skillful fingers delved deeper into her folds, seeking out the sensitive bud, she couldn’t contain herself any longer.  She sobbed out Will’s name as the first wave of convulsions wracked her body, but the rest of Serena’s words were unintelligible even to her. 

A kaleidoscope of colors exploded behind her closed eyes as the most exquisite rush of liquid heat sent her soaring into the stratosphere.  Serena clung to Will’s broad shoulders in a desperate attempt to anchor herself to something solid, but just as she felt herself floating back to earth, Will slipped her panties off and levered himself over her.  Panic clawed at her chest.  Somehow he understood that giving her time to think about it would only feed her anxiety because he began easing himself inside of her before she could utter a word.

Every muscle in her body went rigid.  Serena ground her teeth together, bracing herself for the inevitable pain of his entry.  She held her breath, expelling it little by little as Will slowly sank into her.  Her inner muscles stretched to accommodate him, and though there was some minor discomfort, what she felt could hardly be described as pain.  It
was…incredible.  The intimacy of having Will become a part of her was the single most pleasurable feeling she
had
ever experienced.

Each time Will drew his hips back then surged forward to join them together again, he filled her completely
, became a part of her
.  His love making was achingly tender, and though she could feel the underlying heat of passion in his kisses, it was obvious he was deliberately restraining himself.  Serena loved him all the more for holding back.  The fire he ignited inside of her was overwhelming enough; she didn’t think could handle the full onslaught of fierce love making she suspected Will was capable of.  Not yet anyway.

She had no concept of time, no concept of anything really except Will; the scent of his skin, the taste of his mouth, the way her heart squeezed every time he whispered,
I love you
.  He told her other things too; things that made her feel as if she was soaring in the clouds.  Like how beautiful and desirable she was, that she was soft and feminine the way a woman should be, and how good it felt to be inside of her. 

His words reassured Serena that she wasn’t the only one deriving pleasure, but even without them she would have known she affected Will on an emotional level as well as a physical one.  There was a reverence in his touch, just the slightest tremble in the fingertips that moved over her skin.  She felt his love in each gentle caress, but she also felt the power of his sexual desire in the violent shudders that rippled the muscles in his back whenever her hips rose to meet his.  Will had awakened that same primal need in her; the need to mate with the one she loved, the need to satisfy the hunger inside that had laid dormant all her life.

After years of depriving herself of physical contact, Serena was on sensory overload, but there was still a small part of her that couldn’t seem to let go.  She writhed beneath him, so close, so close…and yet it remained elusive. 

“Will…please,” she begged.  “I need…
I need…
”
What?
  She didn’t know. 

But Will did.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he murmured.

He shifted his weight, moving his hands beneath her hips and tilting them to grant him greater access.  Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist, offering him her body in an act of ultimate trust.  A wild gasp tore from her throat when Will plunged into her, each penetrating thrust driving him in harder and deeper than the one before.  Serena shattered into a million pieces as her inner muscles contracted, the climax hitting her so hard, her whole body was ravaged by
a
series of uncontrollable convulsions. 

It seemed to go on and on, the waves of pleasure chasing each other so closely it was impossible to tell where one began and another ended.  Will made a valiant effort to ride
her through it, but she could feel his resolve start to crumble as her liquid heat enveloped him.  A guttural moan rumbled in his chest as he exploded inside of her, his big body shuddering as he collapsed over her and buried his face in her neck.  Serena held him to her, the rush of emotion so intense she could barely breathe.