Blind Dating: (3 page)

Half of what I questioned, as he covered my eyes and lead me to the garage.  The shock on my face when I saw the car.  I must admit it was nice.  But, it was the last thing on my mind.  Especially with 3 kids in the house.  I assumed he went to buy a bigger house, or at least thought about it.

We could not do that after he used up all our savings.

Maybe Mom was right, I was thinking of this site that Pamela at work had told me about.  She used it 3 years ago, and was happily married again.  She was sweet, pretty much in the same situation as me.  But she had 1 child.  Did that really make a difference? Well, according to my Mom it did.  I just did not agree.

I went into the office.  Greeted by all, and returned the greeting.  I do love my job, been doing it for 8 years.  Everyone said, I should leave and aim for higher.  Why should I? When I had a great boss,
Derek
who every year supplements my bonus, and helps me out whenever he can.  Two years ago, I was swamped, what he did – hire an assistant for me.  Said that allowed me to get to work a bit later and leave a bit earlier.  He said he did not want to lose me.  I know I am good at my job, would not say I was that good.

The problem is I have worked in a lot of places.  Especially when the kids were younger.  Each year I had to change my job, due to the bills increasing and the pay not matching the increase in bills, or the boss being even more demanding.  This boss was perfect in my eyes.  Whenever I told Mom she would always have the same reply, is he single? And yes he was.

Morning, how are you? – Kyle my assistant would ask

Fine, I would reply, you good

Sure, we have a lot on this week, with the new appraisals – Kyle would respond.

I nod, thinking is it that time already,
I thought it was next week.

Great, I would not be leaving early today, or rather he would not be.  The joys of having an assistant!

Kyle was the type of assistant that everyone wanted in their house, lives, work and even the gym.   If there was something that needed organising Kyle could do it. 

He found it a challenge.  No, do not touch that Kimberley I want to see if I can do it at the same time, that I pull of the report of the monthly figures, or I could do it I am going to lunch, and I do not mind.  He did not mind anything, if it meant getting ahead and getting to know the right people.

If it was to my surprise, that two years later he was still with me.  Then one night, he confessed, he had fallen in love and his life was taking a different turn, he met him on this chat dating site.  He was not so worried about getting ahead but more interested in getting on with life.

Sweet

I think tonight when I get home,
I will try that website.  I just cannot remember the name.  When, I see PamelaI will ask.  The problem is I do not want to ask her, because before I know it every minute she will be asking me if I am having any luck.  And to make matters worse she will then offer me help.

I am a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.  I mean I cannot get a man via the old fashioned way -  go on blind dates by being introduced by friends, go out for a drink, bump into him on the way to work, bump into him on the way to the gym.  Oh my gosh, there were so many options but the only problem was:

I do not have any friends – to go on a blind date, only one friend!

I never go out for a drink – only when Christine has had a hard day at work, even then it normally ends up just having bottles at hers or mine, so we do not have to drive!

I am normally running to work – there is no time to bump into anyone!

I do not go to the gym

I have to try the Internet. I am running out of years, and realistically I have no options, as much as I am sitting thinking about them all. I can see Mom’s face now looking in horror – did you get this man through Facelook?

OK, I am going to look for the piece of paper Pamela wrote the website on and if I cannot find it then I will simply ask her.  I do not want to ask her face-to-face.  Actually I do not want to ask her.

Kimberly
are you listening – my boss is calling me

Can you come to my office, please?

Sure, I reply

I go into his office with my notepad and pen, ready to take notes.  Then, he asks me the oddest question in the world.  Do you think I am attractive?

Not sure, how to respond to this one- I reply

I know there
is one of two ways, if I say no, he will feel rejected.  If I say yes, it will be a lie.

I reply, sure some ladies out there would find you attractive.

He asks - So, do you think I am attractive?

That is the wrong question next to:

How old do you think I am?

Do
you think I am fat?

Do
you think I am short?

Why do people insist in asking such questions – and always to me!

The phone rings, I am so relieved.  I wanted the floor to take me up and suck me before, but now I am thinking and looking at him and realising for the first time in 8 years.  I have never looked at this man.  My Mom asked me if
Derek was single, and the reply is yes, but I have never thought of him as anything else but my boss and I keep it that way.

I sit there while he is on the phone, drifting about his situation.  H
e should be married for 10 years now, the office gossip, Sandra has told me this story a thousand times, she seems to think it is funny, because her life is so dull.

He was due to get married on the Saturday. He met his wife when he was the Financial Director, and he met her in a coffee shop downtown.  Before, you knew it they were meeting on a regular basis.  He was quite shy and did not know how to speak to her.  But, he said a few years ago, he used to shave his head and he was a lot smaller.  I find that hard to believe.  Then, when he finally proposed, he was sitting at the registry office waiting for her.

He waited and waited.  Everyone said she was not coming.  He said they were in love, why would she not
come; she must be stuck in traffic or something.

For 4 hours!

There is no gridlock that bad!

So, after calling her and only her.  Because, it never dawned on him until that day when he looked at her side of the family that there was no one there and that he had never been introduced to any of her family members.

Not through lack of trying.  Every time he asked, she would make them go to a restaurant and wait hours for her parents to show up, she thought it would be better if they met on neutral ground.  When I parents never turned up she would claim that her Dad was comfortable meeting him yet.

Even after he proposed a year and a half later after dating and she moved into his apartment, he still did not think there was something wrong. When he tells you the story, you laugh because you know it is not heading to somewhere good.

So, then he returns to his apartment after he has been rejected.  Returns to an empty shell.  She took everything, even his underwear.  And let’s not talk about his bank accounts, she emptied those to. He could not live anywhere, have any clothes and more importantly he had no money.

The worst part is when he went to the police?

They laughed him out of the station.  Saying how could he be so stupid.  They did not even take a report.  He explained that he should not have been so naïve.  Were they right? In that case, are we all not naïve in love? 

They knew the details.  They had heard it all before, and they made it known, that it sounded like the woman from 2 years ago.  The description fit.  Apparently, there was a warrant for her arrest but after 5 years of running, they could not find her.  She was too smart, and men were too gullible.  The police reassure him, by saying at least she does not kill them like the movie – Black Widow.  So, there is a plus side to the story.

He stops and stares at them, he is not dead!

Great!

From that day
, he vowed that all women were scum.  We were only out for one thing.

I did point out to him that he gave in to her too easily and this was the result from his downfalls. How he proposed to someone he knew nothing about, was beyond my comprehension.  He would claim he knew her.  He knew what to order for her in a restaurant, what to buy when he went food shopping, what clothes she liked to wear, what perfume she liked.  I must admit when he said these things, my first thought was – I know all of Tom’s family and friends, but I bet he never knew the answers to the questions, more to the point, he was never interested in anything that had to do with me, and I knew it, and still walked down the aisle with him.

So, who was I to criticise?

He asked the same question – Where were we?

Great, he has finished off the phone, and I am still sitting here, I am not sure why I am sitting here.  I could have got up an
d ignored his question.  Why am I still sitting here I scream inside myself.

Oh, he recalls

Damn, I wish he would not ………………I say in my head.

You feel
uncomfortable – He asks

Course, I do – I reply

Wow, that must be the first and ever time, that you have ever shut me down – he says in a state of shock.

Yes, but I do not want to discuss it, please consult with your friends –
I reply rushing out of the office.

What was he going to do next, pull down his pants and ask me if his bulls are small?

I just do not want us to have that type of relationship.  After all these years, we have not and I do not intend to things being different now. 

I delegate my entire work load to Kyle and then I leave the office.  Think for once I will go to watch Eric play in his league game.  He asks all the time and I can never make it for once Mom will make it.

As I watch him play, I start to think of the plan.  Found the piece of paper at work.  So, it is time to get going, I have two choices:

1.
       
Match.com, where you have to set up a profile and put your picture out there.  I am not sure if I want to do this.  This means I have to put a real name, photo and details out there, to meet someone.  That is too much exposure for me and I am not sure I want to go down that route.

2.
      
ICQ, you simply log in as a guest and you do not even have to register, or you can register.  You have a log in detail, send your real details and you have the choice of whether you want to give the person your real details or not.  You make up a login name and then you are good to go.  Knowing my luck, I will probably end up talking to someone I know, how embarrassing, maybe not, because they will be in the same situation, I am in.

Sounds like there is only one option – Option 2!

I
decided to take a year off prior to going to College, to work in a cafeteria, how sad is that?

I did not even go to College, everyone was shocked, I just opted for a job in a local cafeteria, until I figured out what I wanted, before, I knew it , I met Tom there and then we dated, got married and had kids.
  Looking back it was more like I got married and had kids, he was just some guy that used to come to the cafeteria too much.

At times, my sisters and me would have a little girlie time, we would most of the time meet at Christine’s house, it meant that there was no men and most of all no children to disturb us, or try to stop the conversation of the mood of the night or at times, when it was really intense, it would turn into a whole weekend!

Jennifer was the sensible one of us, the one that made everything seem sane.  She simply graduated from school, went to a local college, met
Ryan, got married. Bought a house, and within years they had little, Erin.  They were the perfect couple and the perfect family.  Neither of them wanted anymore kids, and with my 3, they claimed that 4 grandchildren were far more than enough for our family!

Christine on the other hand, used her gap year to travel the world in one year. She started at Hawaii, I am not sure why, no one thought that was the best place to start.  Then, New Zealand, she stayed there for nearly 6 months.  Because, that is how long her relationship lasted with the New Zealander she met there.  Then, Fiji, then India, where she spent 3 months.  Chanting, and praying.  She said staying with a guru, completely changed her mind, and she goes there every year.