Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2) (42 page)

Vinika found me and led me home. She had winged Merodach back to his castle. I believe he was smitten with her, and she with him. Even if she would never admit it.

The summonses began coming three days later and seemed endless. I go through the motions, because… what else can I do? I live one more day. I see one more sunrise and I watch one more sunset. What else can I do? I am lost.



“Reliving such painful memories cannae be good for the wee babe,” Vittorio said.

“How’d you know about the baby?” I spoke without even turning to look at my brother.

“Aye, the same way I knew ye’d be laying right here an’ nae on Spadroon attending yer summons. We think alike, wee lamb. Are ye well?”

“I’m fine.”

“Aye, lying Princess. Do ye believe me the fool those other two friends of yers are?”

“No, you’re nothing like them. You are unique, Vittorio. Even among your kind.”

“Aye, as are ye, wee Angel.”

He sat down beside me on the grass and started pulling up blades, weaving them through my curls. It seemed his most favorite thing to do. I let him. Actually, I enjoyed it when he did thus. I always had.

“Did Vinika tell you?”

“Aye, she did. But I already knew.”

“How? When?”

“In the pool, as I lay dying. Ye felt it then. Did ye nae?”

“I felt something. I didn’t know what it was.”

“Aye, so I knew before ye,” he teased, tugging gently on one curl.

“I love you.”

“An’ I love ye more.”

I rolled over on my back and watched the fluffy clouds blowing across the heavens.

“Babies are an extremely rare thing in Vanahirdem.” He chuckled. “I should say it’ll be spoiled rotten from day one.”

“I’m not going to raise him in Vanahirdem.”

“I hope ye change yer mind. Where did ye plan tae raise him, Ashgard?”

“No. I think I’ll raise him right here, in Princess Falls.”

“Aye, my love, ye wish him tae be alone? Or do ye wish for me tae be his only brother? Or perhaps, ye wish me tae be his father?” Vittorio placed his giant hand on my tummy and leaned over me. “Yer broken. Are ye nae, wee warrior?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Yer all alone an’ ye’ll nae be happy again.”

“Yes, that is also true.”

“Can I comfort ye?”

“No. I will not be comforted.”

“That’s what I thought. I cannae be yer Vindicus, but I
can
be this baby’s father. I will protect him with my life. He wulnae know harm an’ he’ll be smothered with undying love. Vindicus cannae return tae ye… an’ I cannae leave ye.”

“You’re too kind. My child could ask for no better father than the one I know you will someday be. But I will raise him on my own and I will ensure he knows who his father truly is, and how very much he wanted to be with him.”

“How is it ye name the babe a lad? What if it’s a beautiful wee Princess, like her mother?”

“That would be wonderful as well.”

“Can I kiss yer belly?”

I laughed. “Are you already trying to lay claim to my only daughter?”

“Aye, wee lass, ye’ve found me oot. If I cannae have her mother, I’ll teach her from birth tae love only the gorgeous Vittorio.”

I laughed at his exaggerated accent. When he kissed my belly, it tickled and the giggling began.

“How do you always manage to do that to me—bring about my smile?”

“Because, that’s the only thing ye’ll let me do tae ye.”

“Are you never satisfied? What more do you wish of me, Brother?”

Without warning, Vittorio kissed me. Not the playful kisses he normally left upon my blushing cheeks. These kisses were that of a man, a desirous man. I didn’t stop him, and that was cruel of me. I closed my eyes and saw only Vindicus beside me.

“Yer thinking of him, are ye nae?”

“I am,” I admitted.

“Aye, is it horribly wrong that I’m okay with that? Am I sick tae be satisfied with being used by the woman I love, knowing she pretends me tae be another?”

“Yes. It’s horribly sick you’d be okay with such a cruel lie.”

“Will ye lie tae me again?”

“Can I name you Vindicus?”

“Aye, I’ll take his name… if ye’ll grant me his place in yer heart.”

“That’s too much, Vittorio. I could never hurt you that way. I love you too much.”

“Aye, Milady, my only pain comes from
nae
touching ye. If ye can find a measure of peace by closing yer eyes an’ making love tae yer azure Angel, know that I can also find a measure of peace by leaving my eyes open… an’ pretending yer love an’ passions are meant only for me. We could both own but a shadow of what our hearts truly desire.”

I knew with every cell of my being this was wrong. But I was in so much pain and I wanted to be held so badly. I wanted strong arms to wrap about me and make the pain go away. I wanted a savior to protect me and promise everything was going to be fine. I closed my eyes and turned my back to him.

“Forgive me, Brother. I am not the evil woman Varick names me. You are my dearest friend and the only man I wish to spend my days with. I won’t lie to you. I am just weak enough… just
wicked
enough at this delicate moment, to let you go too far. And in so doing, I would lose the only other being I know in my heart would never hurt me. Can’t we just remain as we were, as we are?”

“Aye, Milady, I would love naethin’ more than tae always remain yer truest an’ most loyal friend. I went too far. Promise tae forget those careless words an’ write them nae on yer heart. Dunnae hold me accountable for giving voice tae my deepest desires. Almost losing everything can change the way a heart works.”

“Yes, it can. And
truly
losing everything… can force that heart to cease its reasoning. For but a moment, when I looked into your heavenly eyes, my heart told me you deserved all the happiness in the world. It told me I shouldn’t deny you your heart’s desire and I should gift you with my body, so at least
one
of us would be forever happy and content. I almost went too far as well, Brother. I almost
let
you go too far.”

“Aye, then I’m grateful yer the one blessed with strength. Had I but known a flicker of surrender was being offered me—”

“Mention it no more, dear friend, lest we dwell too long upon this dark path. My heart has betrayed me. And without a heart, mistakes are so much easier to make… and so much harder to regret.”

“Aye, Milady, tease me nae. Ye tell me ye need comfort for yer breaking heart. Ye tell me ye love me enough tae want tae see me happy, even if that means letting me go too far with ye. An’ now, I hear ye admitting tae feeling nae regrets. Shall I press ye just a wee bit more?”

“Please don’t. Show me mercy. Show me kindness, Brother.”

“Show ye love?”

“Yes. I need you to show me love.”

Vittorio kissed the back of my shoulder and lightly ran his fingertips down the length of my bare arm.

“Aye, lovely mother-tae-be, I’ll show ye more love than has ever been given ye in the past.”

“No, Brother. I meant to show your love for me by
not
tempting a shattered woman. By being merciful to me and restraining your heart for my sake. I’m teetering on the edge of an abyss. Sheer will alone is all that stays my hand. You already tempt me, Brother, more than you could possibly imagine. You love me unconditionally. This I know. And that knowledge screams out your acceptance to every cell in my body. If you could read my thoughts, if you could see the images playing out in my mind, you would be shocked at the things I am
tempted
to do for you,
with
you. The eternal love I hold for you, dearest of all brothers, gives me the strength I need
not
to hurt you that way.”

“Aye, wee Angel, tell me more of how yer tempted.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me under him. His sensual lips found that one tender spot on my neck that always caused my body to tremble. How’d he know exactly what to do to me? I melted under him and he felt my surrender. His growls only fueled my need to know love from this man, physical love. I moaned and pulled his mouth from my breasts so I could kiss him deeper than we ever had before.

“Vittorio, my strength has fled from me. I’m lost to your devoted passion and I will deny you nothing. If your kisses are meant to weaken an already fragile friend, then you knowingly do me harm. I am powerless to stop you for I don’t truly wish you to stop. Help me, Brother. Lend me strength in this.”

“When it was apparent my life here would end an’ I’d nae see my family again, when I realized I’d nae see
ye
again, I decided nae tae waste a single moment of what I had left. Then I was blessed with a miraculous healing. A thing that hadnae been before. I decided in that moment… I’d nae wait on life again. I’d seize it an’ experience it the way it was intended, passionately.”

“Not passion in this, Brother. We go too far.”

“Will ye hate me if I go farther still?”

He pressed against me and I nearly lost my mind.

“Yes, Brother. Not this day. This day I will revel in the passion and love we both deserve. But one day, when I am master of my heart once more, I will grow to hate myself… and grow to hate you as well, I fear.”

“Aye, Milady, then I’ve reached the end of this issue with ye. I’d rather go back an’ let my life end that dark day, than tae ever cause ye tae hate me.”

“Gratitude, Vittorio. I love you.”

“Aye, sweetest Angel, I love ye more.”

I smiled. “You were only able to push me so far because you know me too well.”

“Aye, that I do. Dunnae fault me for trying, Princess. I needed tae know if there was any chance for us before I said what it was I came here tae say.” He paused and sighed. “Let me entreat ye with a wee bit of advice. Ye made a vow tae Varick the same as he made tae ye. It’s nae good for ye tae go where he cannae find ye. He’s in a bad way right now. He’s ashamed an’ wants yer forgiveness. Can ye nae show him a glimmer of kindness?”

“Kindness? How can you name me unkind, Brother? Varick was my first love. I will
always
show him kindness. I only left because… well, because he hurt my feelings and cast me aside.”

“Aye, my wee darlin’, an’ have ye nae done the same tae him? By yer own words ye admit vowing forever tae the first man who loved ye an’ the one who’d always taken care of ye. An’ but a few short weeks later, yer dark-winged husband steps forth as both Angel an’ savior. I know I’d be dead now. An’ I also know ye’d be praying for death as we speak… if yer dark Angel hadnae bargained away his heart. I also know ye love yer Vindicus truly. Enough so that ye ran to him an’ begged yer dark husband tae plant his seed deep within ye. It took hold an’ grows there now. I fault ye for naethin’, my love. Ye loved a man, ye married him, an’ now ye carry his child. All these things are good an’ admirable. A credit tae yer enormous capacity tae love unconditionally an’ with nae fear. Ye are truly a unique an’ amazing woman. Now, think back but for a moment, wee lass. Tell me how ye felt when ye
thought
Varick had found another besides ye. How did ye react when ye only assumed he’d cast ye off for a new bride, a new Anicee?”

“…I snapped and tried to kill everyone in hell,” I admitted.

“Aye, my love, that ye did. Tell me. Did ye
see
Varick hold another’s hand?”

“No.”

“Did ye
see
Varick kiss another woman before yer own eyes?”

“No, never, of course not.”

“Did ye watch him as he smiled at his new love, openly showed great affection toward her, an’ even though ye dinnae see him yerself, he made love tae his new wife an’ enjoyed giving himself tae her, as he should? How many of these things have ye been forced tae witness him doing?”

“None, Vittorio. Varick has never, under any circumstance, ever betrayed his love for me. Even when I thought it so, I believed only a lie.”

“Aye, wee warrior, do ye nae see where ye’ve done all these things an’ more… tae the man who hasnae
ever
loved anyone but ye?”

My heart felt as if weights were tied mercilessly around it. “…I do now.”

“Yet ye saw naethin’ of his assumed betrayal. Ye only
thought
he loved another. An’ yer reaction was what?”

I sighed. “My soul shattered. I tried to kill the dark Prince of Hell, and I had to be remade.”

“Aye, tragic lass, ye say it well an’ true. Now, tell me this. After Varick actually witnessed the only love he’ll ever have, married in every way tae another, tae a bitter rival… how did he react?”

I started quietly crying so Vittorio wouldn’t know of my tears… until I had to sniff.

“Come now, wee rabbit. Ye’ve done so well an’ answered so honestly. Tell me how Varick reacted tae another man’s arms aboot ye.”