Bless Us Father (12 page)

As the night wore on, she tossed and turned more furiously. How could her mother refuse to allow her to be a cheerleader? How had her mom manipulated her dad? It really wasn’t fair, not fair at all.

The visions of Father Antonio insinuated their way into her mind again. Perhaps she ought to tell her mother just a little bit about Father Antonio touching her, and watch her reaction. That would tell her if it was right or wrong.

Once she’d arrived at that decision, Mary Margaret finally fell into a deep sleep.

In what seemed like minutes, her alarm clock rang, signaling for her to get up and ready for school. She quickly got out of bed, padded her way to the bathroom to shower, then hurried back to her room to dress in her school uniform. That done, she ran down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mother.”

Mrs. Riley looked up from the newspaper she was reading. “My, you’re up bright and early this morning. Turning over a new leaf?”

“Guess I am. Is Dad still home?”

“No, he’s already left for work. Do you want a cooked breakfast this morning?”

“Thank you, but I’ll just have corn flakes and orange juice. I’ll get it. You finish the paper.”

Mary Margaret put her breakfast together and took it to the table.

After a few bites, and a swallow of juice, she looked at her mother across the table. “I need to tell you something. I need some advice.”

Mrs. Riley put down the paper. “Sounds serious. What’s the matter?”

“Well, a couple of times when I’ve been working in the rectory, Father Antonio has come in to talk to me.”

“Nothing too unusual in that.”

“There’ve also been a couple of times when we were there alone. Father O’Malley was out somewhere and Mrs. Hunter left early to go home.”

“Again, nothing unusual. Can you get to the point, please?”

Mary Margaret swallowed hard. “Okay...well...he’s touched me in ways that I’m not sure are right. That’s what I need to ask you. Is it okay for a priest to touch me?”

A cloud of fury rolled over Mrs. Riley’s face. Mary Margaret recognized the look and knew she was in deep trouble.

She watched as her mother stood up from her chair and strode slowly over to her.

Mrs. Riley put one hand on the table to steady herself, then leaned towards Mary Margaret. “You are a deceitful, sinful little liar. You are going way too far this time. I’m not surprised you’d try this, though.”

Mary Margaret clutched her hand to her throat. “What...what do you mean? I don’t understand.”

Mrs. Riley moved her face an inch closer to Mary Margaret’s. “It’s not a coincidence that you’re coming up with this after Father Antonio and I put a stop to your cheerleading silliness, now is it?”

“Please, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mrs. Riley raised her hand.

“Don’t hit me. Please don’t hit me. Just tell me what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean. You’re making up lies about Father Antonio so I’ll let you do cheerleading instead of helping him like you promised.”

“That isn’t it at all. Really. I just wanted your advice, that’s all.”

Mrs. Riley put her hand back down and folded her arms across her chest. “All right, then. How did Father Antonio touch you that made you so nervous?”

Too embarrassed to tell her mother about him touching her private parts, Mary Margaret said, “He hugged me one day, and he touched my hair another day.”

Mrs. Riley rolled her eyes and looked heavenward. “Oh brother, I can see this is going to be good.”

“Well, that’s about all. But last night he had me sit on the sofa with him and....”

“Go on,” Mrs. Riley said while impatiently tapping her foot. “You were probably carrying on to him about not being able to do cheerleading, weren’t you?”

“He put his arm around my back while we were sitting there. It felt funny,” Mary Margaret said, ignoring her mother’s question.

“You are a ridiculous and evil girl, Mary Margaret. Father Antonio is Latin, and they touch each other more than we do. It’s his way of supporting you, that’s all. Besides, he’s a priest. He’s only offering spiritual comfort.”

“Are you sure?” Mary Margaret said, feeling a little bit of relief along with a continued ache in the pit of her stomach.

“I’m certain. I’m also certain that I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense, either. No more disparaging remarks about our dear Father Antonio. We’re so lucky to have him.”

“I know, Mom. He’s very nice and he’s a good priest.”

“You go off to school now and tell them you aren’t going to be on the cheerleading squad,” Mrs. Riley said, dismissing her with a wave of her hand. “One more thing. Don’t you ever, and I mean ever, tell your dad any of this about Father Antonio. He’s already acting funny about Father stopping here during the day to counsel me.”

Mary Margaret picked up her dishes to put in the sink and almost dropped them on the floor. “He comes here? To our house. What are you being counseled for?”

Mrs. Riley turned her back to Mary Margaret. “That’s none of your business. You go on to school.”

Mary Margaret picked up her books and left the kitchen. It was October and a blast of cool air hit her as she opened the front door. She closed it quietly behind her and started the walk to school.

Why would Father Antonio be counseling her mother? Were her mom and dad having marital problems? They’d never gotten along, but wasn’t that just the way married people were? Was there more to it than that?

Then it hit her...she was the problem. They were fighting about her. It was true, she had been rebelling too much lately, but she certainly didn’t want her parents to break up because of her. Dad always defended her, and he was much more lenient than Mom. From now on she was going to do exactly as Mom said. That way she wouldn’t get in trouble and neither would Dad. She’d be a good daughter for both of them.

#

Mary Margaret had her books clasped tightly to her chest and hadn’t noticed Linda’s approach until she was right in front of her.

“Oh my gosh, this is just so cool.” She bounced up and down on her toes and waved her hands in the air. “We have our first practice today. Aren’t you excited?” Her brown hair was in two ponytails that were tied in black and gold ribbons, the school colors.

Mary Margaret stared at the ground and kept walking across campus towards her locker, with Linda right on her heels.

“What’s going on? You’re not acting like someone who just made the cheerleading squad. Don’t you want to be popular?”

Mary Margaret ignored her.

Linda grabbed Mary Margaret’s wrist, forcing her to stop walking. She moved around directly in front of her and stared into her eyes.

“Oh no. Your mom put her foot down, didn’t she?”

“Well, sort of,” Mary Margaret admitted reluctantly. “She reminded me I’d made a commitment by taking the job at the rectory, and she said I can’t do both.”

Linda put both hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side. “But I thought your dad was going to give you the money and everything? I thought it was all decided.”

“It was...until Father Antonio talked to my mom.”

“He
what
?” He butted in? I told you he was jealous, but you didn’t listen to me, did you? Did you tell your mother that little bit of information?”

Mary Margaret looked back down at the ground. “It isn’t like that at all, Linda. I
did
make a commitment and my mom is right. I should honor my commitments.”

“Yeah, but this wasn’t going to interfere with anything at your work. Didn’t Mrs. Hunter say it was okay?”

“She did, but that was before Father Antonio told me about the Youth Retreat that’s on the same weekend as Homecoming. That’s definitely a conflict.”

“Oh big deal. We’ve had those stupid retreats before and the youth ministers at the parishes organize it. There won’t be anything for you to do.”

Mary Margaret frowned at Linda. “You know we don’t have a youth minister at St. Catherine’s.”

Linda’s arms were now crossed over her chest and she was frowning back at Mary Margaret.

“All the other parishes have them, though, and they do the organizing. They aren’t going to let you do anything. Mark my words. Your Mom is just being mean.”

“No, she’s not. I did make a commitment when I took a job, and that’s all there is to it.”

“Not really, your mom is a bitch and THAT’S the truth. Always has been and always will be.”

Mary Margaret glared at Linda who now looked close to tears. “I can’t allow you to talk about my mother that way. It’s disrespectful.”

“I’m sorry, Mary Margaret, but it’s the truth. She’s always so mean. And there’s one more thing I need to say, too.”

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough?” Mary Margaret asked.

“No, I don’t. I’ve been your best friend since we were tiny little kids and I’m telling you now that you better watch out for Father Antonio.”

“Now you’re disrespecting our parish priest along with disrespecting my mother. I’m going to need an apology from you before we can be friends again.”

“Well, you’re not going to get one anytime soon, Mary Margaret. You’d better wake up before it’s too late.”

Loneliness overwhelmed Mary Margaret as she watched Linda turn and walk away. Somewhere, deep inside, she knew Linda was right about her mother. But she’d made a decision to obey, and obey she would. She would just have to pray that Linda apologized to her soon. She didn’t have anyone else to talk to and confide in. She and Linda had been friends for so long. Who could possibly take her place?

Human existence must be a kind of error...it may be said of it, ‘it is bad today and every day it will get worse, until the worst of all happens’.

-Arthur Schopenhauer-

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

A cold, damp blanket of fog shrouded Mary Margaret as she walked to school. The weather matched her mood of the last two months. She and Linda hadn’t gotten past their argument, and Linda seemed to have happily moved on to a whole new group of friends, leaving Mary Margaret more alone than she’d ever been in her life.

True to Linda’s prediction, Mary Margaret hadn’t done much planning or organizing of the youth retreat, and very few of the youth from Saint Catherine’s attended. Father Antonio hadn’t even seemed to notice or care. He’d grown somewhat distant since the night on the blue couch in the rectory office, and he hadn’t given her any special attention since then, either. Sometimes she thought he was angry with her, but he’d always smiled when he saw her. She didn’t understand what was wrong, but his indifference was making her even lonelier.

Christmas had come and gone, and for the first time in her young life, Mary Margaret hadn’t cared about the holiday activities. What had previously seemed magical to her just seemed like any other day of the year, except for the family gift exchange. This year she’d been able to buy gifts for her parents since she had a job, and they’d been genuinely touched. She’d gotten her dad a nice, heavy quilted flannel jacket for working outside, and her mom a beautiful rose-colored sweater.

Her parents were always practical and thought ahead. They’d given her a typewriter so she could type her school papers. Now they were talking to her about college, something they hadn’t brought up before. She supposed that was what was behind the decision to provide her with a typewriter.

It was January 7, 1963, and the first day back at school after the holidays. Hopefully things would be better for her in the New Year. She raised her head and concentrated on looking forward while she walked, and noticed Linda heading towards her. They met in the middle of the quad.

“Happy New Year, Mary Margaret. How have you been?” Linda was looking into her eyes, but wasn’t smiling.

Mary Margaret glanced away briefly, then turned back to Linda. “I’ve been okay. How about you?”

“Things have been going really well for me. Cheerleading is a blast.”

“I just bet it is,” Mary Margaret said with more than a hint of sarcasm. “Do you have anything to say to me?”

“You mean like an apology?” Linda asked.

“You know that’s exactly what I mean.”

“You just can’t let it go, can you? I’m not going to apologize for the truth. I told you that at the time and I’m telling you again now. If you ever want to be friends again, you’re just going to have to accept the fact that I’m not going to say I’m sorry.”

“There’s the bell, we’d better go,” Mary Margaret said, realizing they’d reached an impasse. So much for the New Year starting off differently from the old one.

She was the last one to walk into English class and Sister Bernadette looked up at the wall clock, then glared at Mary Margaret as she took her seat.

“Miss Riley,” Sister said, looking over the top of her glasses. “Tardiness will not be permitted in my class. I suggest from now on you plan your morning so that you are here and ready to start class precisely at eight. Do you understand?”