Bleeding Heart (14 page)

“We can do that.” He agreed gently and I froze.

His eyes darkened as I protested in low tones. “Um,” My voice was shaking without an ounce of control now. “Can I have a moment? Just this moment? Please.”

I knew my eyes were pleading with Calix - hell, every fiber of my being was pleading with him to allow me this moment to prepare myself for this night. Finally, he nodded and when he spoke, there was a slight strain to his voice. “I’ll be in the hot tub.”

“Okay.” I agreed quickly before making a dash for the bathroom. Closing myself in the small but very elegant room, I forced myself to face the mirror. And then I forced breathing exercises on myself. And then I forced my hands to release the white-knuckled grip I had on the lip of the counter to then strip myself of my clothing. I had to stop fighting this. I had to stop over thinking everything that could go wrong - every way this could hurt - every way he could break my heart if I gave him this part of myself. My innocence. If only I could allow myself to stop thinking and just feel him, I knew I could accept him and his plans for this night so much easier.

I thought of the time I had spent with Calix on the dock by the lake on his property. I’d been so close to being with him then. I had wanted, so desperately, to give myself all of him in that moment. I’d wanted to feel him. I’d wanted to know him and to be with him. But I hadn’t wanted that until I’d been close to him, lost in his mouth, his touch, and his eyes. His blue eyes were beautiful and there wasn’t another place on this earth that I could lose myself in so easily - so contentedly.

I tied my hair back before stepping into the stream of hot water. It ran over my body and I cleaned myself with the same honey scented soap Calix had supplied for me at his house - which made me smile. Obviously, he knew the things I liked and didn’t want to have to live without - because he made a point of always providing them for me.

Since the beginning, Calix had made an effort to provide for me small comforts. I simply hadn’t understood that until now. My breakfast of blueberries, milk and brown sugar, my honey scented soap and my macaroons were all proof that Calix knew me and tried to give me the comforts I needed. The fact that he knew these were small comforts of mine was in truth a little disconcerting, as he had found them out in a less than noble way, but he was still trying. That meant something to me.

I’d shaved every inch of my body with the razor that had been supplied for me in the bathroom despite the fact that I really hadn’t needed to shave as I’d had it done only the day before for our wedding. I knew I was wasting time, going through the motions to keep my mind from wandering to a place I held no ability to pull it back from. But I didn’t stop myself. By the time I had dried myself off and untied my hair, I was at a complete loss as to what I was supposed to do.

Did Calix want me to put on a bathing suit and join him in the hot tub? Did he want me to join him naked?

Oh hell, I knew he wanted me to join him naked. This was our honeymoon for goodness sakes! What bride wore a bathing suit to the hot tub she planned on sharing with her new husband?

Oh
frick
! I slammed my palm into my forehead as I did a little dance of panic at the door of the bathroom. When I was finished and had somewhat composed myself, I took a deep breath, tightened the fluffy ivory towel around my body and opened the door.

My breath caught in my throat as I stared through the closet into the bedroom. The pot-lights had been turned off and were replaced by the flickering flames of candles. They were everywhere - on every surface. The room smelled like warm vanilla and brown sugar and I felt my lips lift into a smile at the intoxicatingly soothing scent of the candles Calix had chosen. There were flowers - two arrangements of soft pink peonies - the same I’d carried in my hands while walking down the aisle to him. They had been placed on both bedside tables and when I looked further into the room, out onto the deck, I saw Calix was in the hot tub and there was a bottle of wine on ice with two shimmering glasses sitting next to him. A bowl of strawberries sat next to the glasses and my heart squeezed in my chest as I realized, that Calix had ensured I had everything and more that I wanted for this night.

I’d told him in a fit of emotion that I wanted my first time to be in a bed - check. I’d told him I wanted candles - check. I’d said I wanted wine - check. I’d told him I wanted my first time to be with my husband - check. I hadn’t said I needed flowers, but he gave me those too. And even more special was the fact that they were the flowers that offered me a comfort - a memory of my mother - and now a memory of the day I’d become my captor’s wife.

Chapter 13

I didn’t allow myself to hesitate as I moved through the room to the deck. Calix tilted his head to look up at me, and my breath caught in my throat. This man was the most beautiful I had ever seen. It wasn’t just the external beauty he possessed that knocked inside me, but it was everything. The dark beauty hidden beneath his scars, the gentle touch behind an action of malicious revenge. Calix was beautiful. Completely. But looking down into his face now, seeing the shadows dancing over the lines of his tan skin and hard chest from the candles surrounding the tub, I couldn’t help but think -
wow
.

“Love,” his lips curled up at the corners and I waited for him to say something else - but he never did.

I shifted on the spot as I tightened my hands around the towel, staring down into the water. When I spoke, my voice was filled with such uncertainty, that I felt my cheeks burn in a blush. “I, I don’t know what to do.”

“Are you naked?” Calix asked calmly. Unlike my voice, his didn’t break. It was confident, firm, and yet it was gentle.

Lifting my eyes to his, I felt my body still. “Yes.”

“Drop your towel.” He ordered softly.

With shaking fingers, I pulled the towel from where I’d wrapped it tight around my body. I didn’t question the fact that we were on the open water, facing the shimmering lights of Athens and I was naked. I knew Calix would never allow me to expose my body if I were being watched. I knew, with him, that I was safe from every external harm.

Standing naked, my weak knees shaking and my hands trembling, I waited for his instruction. Calix didn’t give it to me. Instead, he unfolded himself from where he’d been sitting on the tubs submerged bench to walk across the small pool of warm water. I could see, despite the fact that the water was over his hips, he was naked and erect.

I didn’t allow my eyes to remain on his thick hard length for long. I was too engrossed in watching his hands lift from his sides to grip my waist. His hands guided me into the water, and I found myself standing on the bench, the warm water hitting my knees. He was looking up at me as he pressed his lips to the soft flesh between my breasts. I was nearly certain he could feel my heart beating viciously there, but he didn’t stop, nor did he push for more. He simply tightened his hands on my waist before stepping back, pulling me from the bench I stood on and lowering me to the floor of the tub. The water lapped at the underside of my breasts and I marveled for a moment how deep the tub was.

As Calix moved back, pulling me with him, I felt his swollen desire brush against my stomach and my belly fluttered as my sex clenched in nervous anticipation - but anticipation all the less.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” His voice was so attractive - the husky deep of it made me tingle in the deepest of places.

“Yes please.” I nodded and he guided me to the bench next to where the wine was sitting perched on the edge of the pool. I lowered myself, feeling the water rise to my collarbone. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the lip of the tub.

“Love,” Calix called and my eyes fluttered open to see him handing me a glass of white wine with a strawberry bubbling in the bottom of the glass.

“Thanks.” I took the glass, trying to rid myself the nerves I felt beginning to dance and took a sip.

Calix watched me through those beautiful blue eyes of his as I stared out over the back of the boat. I could hear the gentle waves sloshing against the side of the yacht and there was a stillness to the air that was a quiet kind of lovely. The stars in the black of the night sky were bright and their white light shimmered, the waves catching reflections of light like the prisms of a crystal. From my peripheral vision, I watched Calix lower himself onto the bench beside me. Feeling the need to hide myself from him, I lifted my knees into my chest and placed my wine on my kneecaps.

Calix was having none of that. Not a minute after I’d lifted my knees, I felt his strong fingers curl around my ankle, pulling me across the bench and into his lap.

I gasped, “Calix!” I struggled not to spill my wine into the water and focused on keeping my glass from tipping rather than pulling back from Calix’s stronghold. “What are you doing?” I demanded as I placed my wine on the wood floor of the deck.

“I’m holding my wife.” He replied matter of fact and I felt a heat rise in my body at his words. Mainly, the way he’d called me his wife. Oh, I really liked the way that sounded - so much more than I should.

“But,” I didn’t know what else to say.

Calix grinned at my obvious lack of protest as his hands moved up from my ankles to palm my ass. I was sitting over him, straddling him, on the bench in the hot tub. My legs were spread wide and I knew, that if he pulled me any closer, I would feel him - his length - against my most intimate place. The thought made me shiver and Calix growled low in the back of his throat as he tipped his head back to look into my face.

“You’re beautiful, love.”

“So are you.” I said dumbly and again, I blushed.

Calix didn’t reply as his a hand moved from where he was palming my behind to slide slowly up my spine to the base of my neck. He held me there firmly, his eyes gazing deeply into mine before he pulled me forward. I didn’t fight him. I couldn’t fight him even if I had wanted to - not when he was looking at me like that - with such wild desire and unrequited need.

When my lips touched his, every worry inside of me fled. His mouth covered mine, his tongue tasting, licking, swirling around mine, as he demanded entrance I didn’t fight into my mouth. The hand that was still on my ass pulled me closer, slamming me into him hard, and I gasped a small cry of surprise into his mouth. He swallowed my sound as though tasting the most decadent of wine and longing for more. Clenching my thighs around his waist, I shifted my hips against his cock as I tried to back away from the feel of his length against my core when Calix moaned into my mouth.

That sound - my goodness - it did something to me. Something wonderful.

I needed more.

Without thinking of my pursuit to move away from him, I shifted my hips again, grinding down on his length. He was silky smooth and hard as rock against my moist core. Even in the water, I could feel my wetness, a different kind of wetness than the water. Again, Calix groaned and a heat like no other flooded my being.

I continued to rock my hips against his length - pleasuring myself just as much as I knew I was pleasuring him with my movements. He slid through my lips, the top of his cock rubbed against my clit, and every time I felt the sweet pleasure, I felt something roll inside of my body, building, pulsing, rioting.

When I thought my body would explode, Calix dropped his hand from my neck to cup my ass once again. And then he was standing and I was wrapped around him, my legs locked tight around his waist. He took the steps up from the hot tub onto the deck much quicker than my sane mind would have found comfortable, but I wasn’t sane. In this moment I was insane - entirely crazy over him - around him - about him. My mind wasn’t working properly and with my lips still locked on his, kissing him fervently - I paid no mind to where he was taking me until I found myself laying back against the white lounge chair. Calix positioned himself on top of me before he lifted himself, his hands planted in the cushion on either side of my head.

“The way you feel against me, Nova,” his voice broke and I felt my heart flutter as I watched this very strong, very capable man, struggle with something so simple as his words. “I’ve never known anything like this.”

“Me either.” I admitted truthfully.

His eyes fastened on my face as he promised. “You never will again - with anyone but me.”

“Never.” I agreed - because I believed, with my entire being, that I wouldn’t. This, with Calix, was what I read about in romance novels. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe that finding what you read about in a romance novel was easy or even common. It was the exact opposite - that’s why so many women lost themselves in the bliss of the words. But I’d found it - as unconventional as it was - I’d found it. And it was all in Calix. Not only did I not believe I would find this again - but I didn’t want to. What I had with Calix was perfect in it’s imperfection.

The heat in his eyes intensified until I felt they might burn me. Then he dipped his head and crushed his mouth to mine. Reaching up, I linked my hands around his neck, pulling him against me, but as soon as I had him where I wanted him, he pulled back to move down my body. He kissed my throat, my chest, and my breasts. Tenderly, he pulled each nipple into his mouth, sucking, swirling and nipping gently. At the feel of his teeth against my tender flesh, my back arched and I cried a strangled sound into the salty air, my fingers curling in his hair as I held him to me. An ache so deep in my core pulsed, throbbing like a violent drum as he sucked hard at the pebbled flesh before releasing it from his lips with a popping sound.

“Calix,” I breathed his name on a strangled breath.

I felt his lips curl into a devilish grin against my belly where he was kissing his way downward. I knew his grin was devilish, because the man was doing devilish things to my body. I mean, this was positively sinful - to feel so entirely consumed, on fire, aching for another like I was aching for him. It was out of this world.

My eyes fluttered closed as I felt his lips kiss a trail over my belly button - lower - and lower - until I felt his lips at the apex of my sex. I knew better than to say no to Calix. I knew better than to try and squeeze my thighs shut or push him away. This was something he had taken from me before, coincidentally also giving me something wonderful in return. I’d had many orgasms at the fault of his expert mouth and I knew, fighting him would do nothing but delay the wonder I would later find. So, I didn’t fight him. Instead, I opened my thighs wider for him, begging him silently for his mouth.