Blaze (10 page)

“What will you call us once you find a woman, Nash?’ I teased him.

“Never gonna happen, sweet thing, so we’re all good.”

“I hope it does happen for you, Nash.  She’d be a lucky woman,” Harlow said.

He beamed at her.  “Means a lot, babe.  Now, have either of you seen Griff?  It’s his fuckin’ birthday and none of us can find the fucker.”

“No, I thought he was out the back with you guys,” I said.

“He was but none of us have seen him in the last twenty minutes or so,” Nash muttered.  “If you see him, tell him I’m looking for him.” 

He headed down the hallway towards the front door.  As he left, Lisa and Crystal ran past him, past us and out the back door.  I heard him laugh and say, “Christ, it’s a fuckin’ madhouse here today.”

I reached into the cupboard and passed Harlow the potatoes for the potato salad we were making.  She began peeling them while I grabbed the ingredients for a caesar salad out of the fridge and started on that.

The front door slammed and a minute later, Scott entered the kitchen.  Harlow smiled up at him and he reached for her, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.  “You taste so good,” he murmured quietly.  Then he let her go and gave his attention to me.  “Gonna prepare you now, Dad’s on his way.”

My heart froze.  I shook my head.  “No, you’ve got to stop him.  Tell J, he’ll stop him.”  I was panicked.  I hadn’t spoken to Dad for awhile now and had been ignoring his calls for the last few days.

“I would tell J, but I can’t find him.  Can’t fuckin’ find Griff either.”

I frowned.  “They were here before.”

“Yeah, but nowhere to be found now.  Look, when Dad gets here, I’ll do my best to get rid of him but you know what he’s like.  I can’t guarantee anything.”

“Is Mum with him?”

“Don’t think so.”

“J told me what he did,” I said.

He nodded.  “I know.”

“Does Mum know?”

“I haven’t told her and I doubt that J has.  So, if you haven’t either, then no.”

I made a decision that I’d been toying with ever since J shared the information with me.  “I’m going to tell her.”

“Your call.  I don’t think it’ll motivate her to leave him but you never fucking know.”

I was about to say something else but we were interrupted by the rumble of a bike.

Scott gave us a pointed look that said ‘stay here’, and then stalked down the hallway to the front door.

I turned to Harlow.  “Where the fuck is J?”  I needed him like I hadn’t needed him for a long time. 

She passed me my phone.  “Ring him,” she urged.

He answered on the third ring.  “Babe, I’m out the front with your father.  Stay inside while we get rid of him, okay?”

Relief hit me.  “Thanks, baby,” I said softly and hung up.

My gaze swung to Harlow who was watching me through concerned eyes.  “J’s outside.”

She smiled tightly, and then looked out the back.  “I’m going to round up these kids and get them inside.”

“Good idea.”  I watched her go, not sure why I had such an intense feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach.  When I heard lots of yelling out the front, it only intensified.  I was rooted to the spot, but when the yelling continued, I was drawn to the front door.

I opened the front door and found my father outside with J, Scott, Nash and Griff.  Scott was holding J back and Nash had my father.  The fury on all their faces was clear.  But the man who was radiating the most anger was Griff.  This really didn’t surprise me; he scared me at the best of times.

“Marcus, this is fucking bullshit and you know it,” Griff snarled at my father.

Dad’s attention turned to me, and then back to Griff.  “It’s not fucking bullshit, and besides, why don’t we let Madison be the judge of that.  She’s the one who seems to think J is the man for her.  The least we can do is give her all the information.”

I looked at J who had a feral look in his eyes and was struggling against Scott.  If Scott let him go, I knew he’d knock my father out or worse.  I needed to end this now, for J’s sake more than anyone’s. 

I stepped outside and walked to where Nash had Dad.  It took everything I had but I looked him in the eyes when I spoke.  “Spit it out and then get the hell out of here.  I don’t want you here.”

He tried to get out of Nash’s hold, but Nash pulled him back tighter, and barked, “Say whatever you came to say and then you can do what Madison says and leave.”

Dad eyed me, and jerked his head towards J.  “He tell you what he got up to while he was away?”

“If that’s what you came to tell me, you could have saved yourself a trip because, yes he did tell me.  And I think even less of you for that than I did before he told me.  In fact, you don’t even exist for me anymore.”

He flinched, and then his face contorted with rage.  “So you know about the blonde piece he had on the side while he was away?  And you’re still going to marry him?”

My eyes flew to J and my heart began beating wildly.  J’s gaze was on me; steady.  He still had that feral look in them but they were steady; sure.  And he shook his head once.  And in that instant, I knew.

I turned back to my father.  “Nothing you say can or will come between me and J.  I know he loves me; only me.  In fact, I’ve never been so sure of that in my life, so take your lies and your pathetic attempts at breaking us up, and leave us the fuck alone.”

Dad went to say something else, but Nash shoved him away, and said, “You’ve said what you came to say, now it’s time to leave.”

I walked over to J, and he pulled me close, his arm around my shoulder.  “You okay?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, baby,” I answered, smiling up at him. 

He bent down and kissed me.  “I love you,” he said when he ended it.

I laid a palm on his cheek.  “I love you, too.”

2
months later - February

Jason

“Did your Mum call you yet, babe?  Let you know what she’s doing tomorrow?” I asked Madison as she packed her overnight bag.

“Yeah,” she said quietly, “She’s coming to both the wedding and reception.  Said that Dad’s going away for a couple of days so he won’t bother us.  She raved on with some bullshit about how he loves me enough to give me that.  I still can’t believe that even after I told her what happened in Adelaide, she chooses to stay with him.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Thank fuck he wouldn't be there.  I knew that Madison was torn about it though.  I moved from the doorway to where she was at the bed, and placed my hand on her back.  “You okay?”

She stopped what she was doing and turned to me.  Her face was a mess of emotions.  I knew tears weren’t far off.  “I don’t know why I feel this way, J.  I don’t want him there; don’t want him in my life.  And yet, it’s like there’s this hole in my heart and I miss him.  I want him there.  It doesn’t make any sense.”

I nodded and drew her close, wrapping my arms around her.  Lowering my head, I kissed her on the forehead.  “Baby, he’s your father.  You’d have to have a heart of ice to not have these feelings.  You want the version of him that you grew up with there; the father you loved before you discovered who he really was.”

Her tears came and her body shook with sobs.  I held her, and didn’t say anything else.  I’d been waiting for this to happen for months but Madison had locked it away and done her best to move on without him in her life.

After awhile, she looked up at me through teary eyes.  “You’re right, I do want him there, just not the him that he is to me now.  Most days, I just want to go back in time and not know all this shit.”

“Trust me babe, I’d fucking like that too.”

“I never stopped to really think what it must have been like for you growing up with your parents.  And we’ve hardly spoken about it.”

Heaviness settled in my chest.  “Baby, it’s the day before our wedding.  Do we really want to bring this shit up today?”

She nodded.  “Yeah, J, we do.  I’t’s been on my mind for awhile now, and I want you to talk to me about it.”

I blew out a long breath.  Talking was something we were getting better at.  I fucking hated it most of the time, but even I had to admit it helped us.  And it really seemed to help Madison.  Between us talking, her attendance at AA, and time spent building family with Brooke, Scott and Harlow, she was doing so much better these days.  I remained vigilant, and kept my eye out for any signs that she was backsliding.  However as the days passed, I could see her growing stronger.

“It fucking sucked, growing up with an alcoholic mother.  And for her not to take any of my help was a kick in the guts.  My last year in school was spent making sure she was still alive every fucking morning, and being the parent to Brooke that neither of mine were.  My father was off gambling and screwing his way through Brisbane.  He only came home every few days.  He’d bring us food, push Mum around a bit and fight with her, and then take off again.”

“What went wrong between them?”

“They were happy until about the time I was twelve.  Mum fell pregnant with her third child and they were both over the fucking moon about that.  Then she lost the baby.  They never came back from that because Mum ended up with depression and shut Dad out.  Slowly over the years, they drifted apart.  Mum began drinking and Dad started staying out gambling.  It was fucking awful, babe.  How two people can go from being completely in love to what they became is beyond me.  Dad started looking at Mum like she was the shit he scraped off his shoes.  And Mum didn’t even look at him most of the time; it was like he didn’t exist for her anymore.”

“No wonder you hated my drinking,” she said, her voice cracking.

“It’s a disease that takes so much from a person.  It took my mother’s spirit and then it took her family, and at the end it took her fucking life.  I don’t want that for you.  And I don’t fucking want that for us.  I struggled with my love for her and my hatred of what she was doing to herself and to us.  The day she crashed that car and killed herself and my father was one of the worst days of my life.  And yet, I felt a sense of fucking relief.  I hated that about myself.  But after years of watching it destroy our family, and shatter Brooke’s life, it felt like a fucking weight had lifted.”

“You never know what’s going on in someone’s life, do you?” she mused.

“No,” I agreed.

“I mean, I knew you back then but at the same time, I didn’t.  You joined Storm just after your parents died and there you were, coping with their death and looking after Brooke.  I had no idea.”  She paused and searched my eyes.  “Why have we never taken the time to talk about this?”

“Baby, you and I spent too many years screwing and arguing to get into this shit.  You knew the basics and, trust me, that was enough for me.  I don’t talk to anyone about this stuff.  Even Brooke and I hardly discuss it.  What’s the fucking point?  It’s in the past; I only want to look forward.”

“Yeah, well I was a shit girlfriend to you, and for that, I’m sorry.”

“I think as people get older, and have crap happen to them, they open their eyes more; see shit for what it really is.  That’s where you’re at with all this stuff going on between you and your family.  And believe me, sweetheart, you weren’t a shit girlfriend; you were exactly what I needed and still are.”

She sighed.  “’I’m so glad we didn’t give up on each other.  What we have now is good; so good, baby.”

I couldn’t fucking agree more.  “Yeah, it is,” I said, and then to lighten the mood, I gave her what I knew she loved from me, “Now, you’ve gotta finish packing that bag so that I can take you to Harlow’s.  And make sure you don’t bother with any underwear tomorrow because after a night away from you, I don’t need any-fucking-thing coming between me and your pussy.”

Her eyes lit up.  “I love your dirty mouth, J.”  And then she stood on her toes and breathed into my ear, “I don’t have any underwear on right now, baby.”

Fuck me, I loved this woman.

***

“Y
ou got a moment?”  Blade asked as I opened my front door to him.

“Sure,” I said, gesturing for him to come in. 

“Madison home?”

“No.” 

We made our way to the kitchen and then he turned to look at me.

“I don’t really know you, J, but you’re marrying my sister so I’ll be taking the time to rectify that.”

I nodded; I agreed with that fully. 

He continued, “While you were away, Madison shared a lot with me.  That woman loves you with her heart and soul.  Only a lucky man gets that in his lifetime and you, my friend, are that lucky.”  He paused and assessed me with his hard gaze.

“You gonna get to the point, Blade?”  I was getting impatient with where he was going with this.

“Don’t fuck it up.  Don’t take what she’s giving you and trample it, because if you do, I’ll be the one you’ll deal with.” 

I nodded.  “Yeah, I understand that about you, brother.  And I’m with you all the way.  Madison’s lucky to have you looking out for her.  But you need to know that I have no intention of fucking this up.  She and I have worked too damn hard to get this far; not gonna screw that up.”

He processed that silently for a moment before saying, “Good.” 

I decided I liked him as he was leaving; anyone who cared for Madison like he did was someone I had time for.

***

“T
omorrow’s been a long time coming,” Scott muttered as he leant back in his chair and stretched his arms up, hands behind his head.

I took a swig of my beer.  “Yeah it has, brother,” I agreed.

It was nearly midnight, nearly my wedding day, and Scott had dropped in earlier for a beer.  Madison was at Harlow’s place with Serena, and Brooke, and my dick was fucking missing her.  Christ, at this rate, I’d be throwing her over my shoulders after she promised me forever, and saying to fuck with the reception.

“Madison texted me to say Dad wouldn’t be there.  She coping alright?”

“It’s fucked, Scott.  I could kill him for what he’s done to her.”

He nodded, deep in thought.  Then he leant forward and rested his arms on his legs.  “Lotta shit going down with the club right now.  When you get back from your honeymoon, it’ll be time to fix that.”