Blackthorn [3] Blood Torn (16 page)

‘You’ve flipped the lid on that self-destruct button so many times that you can’t even close it anymore, can you?’

‘You think you’ve got me worked out? Well, ditto. Twice you’ve walked away from me, Jask. You’re all talk, all threats, but when it comes down to it, you can’t come up with the goods.’

He leaned an inch closer. ‘And what goods would they be?’

‘We both know what I’m talking about. What is it, Jask? Can you only do it with lycans? Are they easier to please? Are you scared of me? Or is it being unleashed that scares you? Only I know the responsibility of this pack weighs heavy on you. I know it controls you. I know you’re itching to break free.’

‘Because you’d know all about responsibility, wouldn’t you, serryn?’

‘That’s just it, isn’t it, Jask? The real reason I get to you so much is because you envy me. I remind you of what you could be. What you used to be. A time before the regulations when you used to be able to run wild – have what you wanted, when you wanted. Only now you make everyone toe the line because it makes it easier for you to do the same, doesn’t it? Because your rules aren’t just about keeping your pack safe; they’re as much about keeping
yourself
contained. You despise me because there’s a need in you and I remind you of it. I irritate you because I take you places you don’t want to go. I make you feel things you don’t want to feel. It’s not
me
who has self-hatred issues – it’s you. So tell me, what are
you
hiding from, Jask?’

The flare in his eyes before they narrowed again, the fierce dilation of his pupils, told her she wasn’t wrong.

He grabbed her wrists, pushed her hands above her head, forcing her to arch her back, and drew her closer to him, his sweatpants soft against her thighs. ‘Maybe you read situations better than I give you credit for after all.’

She tried to curb her shallow breaths, arousal making her stomach hurt as he held her there, staring deep into her eyes in the silence.

‘But
don’t
try and compare us, serryn,’ he warned. ‘Serryns don’t feel. You switch your emotions off like a light. It’s what helps you do the things you do. Perform the acts you do. The dirty, nasty, sordid little acts that define just how toxic you are.’

She couldn’t deny that he was right – switching off was exactly what serryns were renowned for. And maybe that was what was happening now – maybe that was why she dared to goad him. But he was wrong that her kind couldn’t feel, because she was most definitely feeling something. Something every bit as dark, dangerous and unpleasant to acknowledge as the room they were in. Something that was real. Just as Jask was real. Just as the situation was real. A situation that she knew was spiralling out of control.

But she didn’t care.

Only she did care that the connection she felt in that moment was one that she should never have been feeling with a third species. She couldn’t
allow
herself to feel it. But she couldn’t stop it any more than she could stand on the track and stop a speeding train.

Something about him was too right. In that dark, dank cell, nothing else mattered. She refused to think about what she was doing. She refused to look beyond the haze that encompassed her.

She’d fallen from that branch again, only now the dark depths were captivating.

‘So what are you going to do about it, Jask?’ she asked softly, caressing his lips with her uncontrollably terse breaths. ‘Are you having dirty, nasty, sordid little thoughts of your own? Only I’ve seen you with Tuly and Solstice. You’re not the type to act on them.’

‘Not with my pack, no. But as you keep reminding me, you’re
not
one of my pack, are you, Phia?’

She broke from his gaze only to linger on the brown leather straps that held the pendant to his neck. A pendant that had glinted in the white light and captured her attention.

She looked back into his eyes. But to her shock, to her disappointment, he pulled away
again
.

Didn’t just pull away, but exited the cell.

She felt a whole new panic. A panic evoked by a sense of loss, an excruciating sense of frustration that knotted her stomach.

She pulled herself away from the bars and turned to face the cell door, trying to work out how the hell she could summon him back without laying herself on a platter.

Because she couldn’t let him walk away. Not this time.

But Jask didn’t leave the room. Instead he stood there, his back to her.

Her heart pounded as she waited for him to turn around again. As she waited for him to say something – something that would give her a clue as to what to do next as they both remained shrouded in silence.

Chapter Eleven

J
ask stared out of the open door – the door that led to the corridor and beyond. The door that he
needed
to walk through. The door that would lead him away from her.

More significantly, the door that would lead him away from himself – from what was resurfacing.

She’d been lucky he’d caught her looking at his pendant. The pendant that was an intentional stark reminder of what happened when he cut himself loose and thought only of the desire inside.

Because in those moments he’d wanted Phia. As she’d stared him in the eyes and fearlessly challenged him for one final time too many that night, he’d wanted to finally confront her as himself – not the sensible pack leader.

Corbin had been right. This wasn’t to get personal. But damn it that it already felt that way. And licking the already healing wound on his lip only reminded him of the last time someone had left him with the metallic taste of his own blood.

He hadn’t even hesitated in what he’d done to them – their broken, torn body almost unrecognisable as human by the time he’d finished, by the time Corbin had found him, inebriated, angry and unfocused, as he had so many times over those months.

That same heat now flowed through his veins again. A heat that reminded him just how liberating doing the wrong thing could be.

And there in that cocoon, for just a little while, he could unleash himself again. He could remind himself how it felt – like filling his lungs with fresh air, or a primitive yell in an empty valley.

But Phia was the last one he should have been considering it with – not just for the sake of his pack, but for the sake of himself. The way she made him spark, something he had felt too infrequently not to recognise, only increased the risk of him taking it one step too far – and he knew what that could mean for them all if it went wrong.

And that’s what made crossing the threshold the right thing to do.

But for too long he’d taken the option of the right thing to do.

And the fact it
was
such a risk only incited him more. Her ragged breaths and fast-beating heart echoing in his attuned ears were already too much temptation.

He didn’t have to walk away as long as he could remember who he was now. He could prove to them both that he didn’t have to walk away to control himself. It was a gamble, but he’d just have to make sure that
she
backed down, not him.

It was why he’d taken her down there after all – to test her metal under pressure. To see if she really was as inexperienced at handling herself as he thought. Time was rapidly slipping away and Phia needed to accept that she was vulnerable before he could even begin to tame her. And this was the perfect place and opportunity for both.

He closed and bolted the door, slid the viewing window shut, creating a private, dark little space that would echo the one now throbbing back to life inside of him.

He walked back towards her, closed the cage door behind him and looked his prey square in the eyes.

For the first time, she took a step back.

It should have been enough. He should have walked away, having gained the upper hand that easily.

But as his tingling lip reminded him, she hadn’t let
him
off that kindly.

‘Backing off already?’ he asked, his tone laced with taunting as he continued to close in on her.

‘You’ll back down before I do.’

Despite her wariness, she still had the gall to fight.

He smiled fleetingly. ‘Okay, so I was wrong – you
don’t
read situations as well as I’ve given you credit for.’

‘So what’s this? Your idea of foreplay?’

‘Nowhere near.’ He closed the gap between them, heard her pulse pick up a notch despite her efforts to the contrary. He strolled around the back of her, wondering how long she’d be able to handle it before turning to face him. ‘Question is, are you going to beg me to leave?’ He raked her hair back from her neck to purposefully caress her ear with his breath. ‘Or invite me to stay?’

Her breaths were more ragged, his proximity behind her clearly having had the effect he had hoped for.

But she didn’t turn around. She didn’t even step away. ‘Are you looking for a get-out clause, Jask?’

He lowered himself a little to place his palms flat against her cool, firm thighs just below the hem of her tunic. A sensual and intimate move he had not yet allowed himself.

And it felt dangerously good.

As he slid the fabric upwards, he could feel her subtle tremor, the goosebumps now swamping her skin nothing to do with the chill of the room. Stood fully again, he lifted the tunic up over her behind so her exposed flesh met the brushed cotton of his sweatpants. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he gripped one wrist to trap her against him, against his arousal, while he slid the back of his free hand down her cleavage.

‘No,’ he said against her ear again. ‘I’m offering you a final opportunity at
yours
.’

Instead of laughing, retorting with abuse or finding an excuse to break away, she slid
her
free hand into the limited space between him and the small of her back. Easing her hips forward just the fraction that his restraint would allow, she weaved that same hand into his sweatpants and into his shorts.

His erection jerked as soon as she made contact, as soon as she dared to coil her chilled fingers around his heat.

He involuntarily caught his breath, but so did she.

‘Call my bluff, Jask,’ she said as she dared to squeeze, ‘and I’ll call yours right back.’

He loosened his hold just enough to allow her to turn around to face him, but she didn’t withdraw her hand. As he kept her hand at the small of her back, she smoothed the palm of the one that still held him lightly over the tip of his erection. Spreading his wetness with an easy glide down his full length, she stopped only to grip him at the base. She even dared to press closer, her lips almost touching his.

‘Is this
your
idea of foreplay?’ he asked, searching deep into her dark eyes.

‘I dare you to let me go down on you,’ she said, her gaze unflinching.

His heart jolted, as did his erection within the confinement of her skilled hand. The sensation it evoked was raw, summoning the feral instincts that he needed so desperately to keep contained.

‘
Daring
?’ he asked.

She smiled – a taunting, provocative, sexy smile. ‘I bite, remember?’ She lifted her lips a fraction closer. ‘When you least expect it.’

This was how vampires fell – the look, the smile, the coax. But he was no vampire – something she needed reminding of. Something he needed to remind himself of.

He slid his free hand up her neck, curled his fingers into her hair, and got enough of a grip to make her catch her breath again. ‘You’re not going to bite,’ he said, his breath mingling with hers.

Her eyes flared slightly. ‘What makes you so sure?’

He released her hand at the small of her back only to tighten his arm around her. He lifted her as if she were weightless, slammed her against the bars behind, his hand in her hair protecting the back of her head from the force.

Trapping her there with the pressure and angle of his groin, her thighs forced around his waist, he pushed her hands either side of her head, encircling her wrists and most of the bars they were held against with the span of his hands. And to remind her of her vulnerability, he tilted his hips a little, just enough so that his hardness pressed tauntingly against the most sensitive part of her sex – just enough to show her he knew
exactly
what he was doing.

‘Because
I
bite back,’ he said, his lips inches from hers again. ‘Only harder and deeper. And if there’s anything that’s going to bring out the feral in me, it’s that first taste of blood.’

Her breathing hitched, her eyes flaring slightly again. But then those enticing eyes became hooded. There was no retaliation. No fight.

Instead, she crossed her legs around his back, coiled her toes into the waistband of his sweatpants and slid them down a few inches along with his shorts, her smooth heels gliding over the curve of his solid behind, not breaking from his gaze for even a second.

Damn it, she was good. And the first inkling that he had underestimated her started to unfurl.

The feel of his freed erection against her, even though her thin tunic was still a barrier to skin on skin, sent a bolt of static through him. Even more evocative was that she was already damp. Her mouth was parted in anticipation. Her heart was pounding against her chest.

She wasn’t scared, she was aroused.

And that was the
last
thing he needed.

‘Come on, Jask,’ she said softly. ‘What are you waiting for? This isn’t a guided tour. We both know the real reason you brought me down here.’

It had been as much an attempt to give her some insight into their cause as to see just how fearless and proficient a serryn she really was.

Only now she was demonstrating that she was both of the latter – which only reinforced his reason to stay in control. Because now he really couldn’t afford to lose her. Now he
had
to pull back, not least because the way he was burning inside had nothing to do with her purpose for his pack.

‘And what reason is that?’ he asked.

‘I think you like me being defiant,’ she whispered. ‘It turns you on, doesn’t it? That’s one sordid little secret you can’t hide.’

And it did turn him on – the way she dared to stand up to him, to challenge him, to provoke him in a way so few ever dared. ‘You’re like a wind-up toy. I’m just curious to know how far I can twist before you snap.’

‘Because
you’re
already snapping, aren’t you? The fact I’m pinned to this cage tells me that. But I’m not scared to see you for what you are, Jask. Go on,’ she goaded, resting her head back against the bars to look him direct in the eyes. ‘Hurt me.’

But those two words were too telling. Two words that could so easily be fulfilled had they not been contradicted by the look deep in her eyes. ‘Is that what sex is to you, Phia – pain? Or do you want me to make it that way so it drowns the real feelings out?’

She frowned, but he didn’t give her time to retort before he pulled her from the bars. He slammed her down onto the mattress, pinning her onto her back with effortless and efficient ease before resting on all fours above her.

It felt good to have her beneath him. And it felt good to look her in the eyes as he did so. Too good.

Keeping a grip on her wrists, he lowered himself so his lips nearly touched hers again. ‘You picked the wrong one for the job, Phia.’

Because that
wasn’t
who he was now. Not now his pack came first. From then on, his pack would always come first.

The pack that had, during his road to self-destruction, remained loyal against the odds. The pack that had tolerated his mood swings and outbursts. That had still respected him despite him disappearing days at a time. They’d tolerated his negligence, his lack of focus, his sullenness. And they accepted him again without question when he’d finally broken through the darkness enough to resume his full duties. Duties that Corbin had loyally assumed, before handing them back to him without challenge.

Phia had asked if he’d ever questioned whether the right alpha had been chosen. During those times he had severely doubted it. Now he’d finally prove himself wrong – and she was the test. Because she was the only one, in all those decades since, who had made him doubt himself again.

‘Because I don’t play that way,’ he added, nearly tagging on
anymore
, before wisely pulling away instead.

He yanked his shorts and sweatpants back into position. And, as tough as it was, he turned his back on her, his frustration and unsated need berating his decision.

* * *

Sophia lay there breathless, her hands lax either side of her head. But as he opened the cage door, she forced herself up onto her elbows. ‘Wait!’

It was the last thing she should have said, but it came from somewhere deep, somewhere raw, somewhere uncomfortably honest.

Jask didn’t turn around, but he did stop. He coiled his hands around the bars either side of the cage doorway, creating tension in every finely honed muscle of his back, shoulders and arms.

Never had someone turning their back on her filled her with such a sense of emptiness. Never before had she made the first move to stop it happening.

But never had she wanted someone so badly that she was willing to swallow her own pride.

‘Then don’t play,’ she said, surprised how much she meant it. ‘And neither will I.’

He turned to face her, his expression indefinable.

After a few seconds of contemplation, he stepped back towards her, back to the foot of the mattress, and gazed down at her.

She lay her head back down, her hands either side of her head again. Despite having never felt more exposed than if she’d lay there naked, she looked him direct in the eyes. It was a dangerously submissive pose, but one she could only hope would snag him.

‘All you know is game-playing,’ he said.

‘You didn’t have to bring me down here.’ She knew it was risky – pushing things whilst he still looked contemplative. But she lifted her foot regardless, sliding it slowly up his firm, muscular thigh. As she reached his groin, pressed slightly against his hardness, she expected him to flinch. But he didn’t.

Hours before, she would have taken the opportunity to draw back her leg and slam her foot hard into him just because she could – just because it would be another impulsive move that would make her feel okay for that split second.

But now, looking up into those eyes, at the perfection that stood above her, she knew this wasn’t about pride – this was about self-worth. Because, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she believed she deserved not to have him walk away from her. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than him – and she was going to get him. She was going to get Jask Tao exactly where she wanted him.