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Authors: Connie Willis

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“No, but I should have done. I’m so sick of the Yellow Peril, I could scream.”

The Yellow Peril? What did Japan have to do with an ambulance post?
I should definitely have done more research on World War II slang
.

“I was at the motor pool,” Talbot said. “The Major insisted I go pick up Bela Lugosi,” and thank goodness Fairchild had explained about the ambulance names, or she’d be completely lost. Could the Yellow Peril be some sort of vehicle as well?

“I told the Major it wouldn’t be ready,” Talbot went on, “but she—who’s this?”

“Mary Kent,” Fairchild said. “She’s our new driver.”

“But you can’t be!” Talbot cried, and Mary looked up sharply. “Sorry. It’s only that I had a wager with Camberley that even the Major couldn’t get a new driver out of HQ. For a pair of stockings. Now what am I going to do? I lent my only good pair to Jitters, and she simply
shredded
them.”

“She means Lieutenant Parrish,” Fairchild explained. “She’s keen on jitterbugging.”

“I simply
must
have stockings. Philip’s taking me to the Ritz on Saturday.”

No, he’s not
, Mary thought.
There’ll be more than a hundred V-1s coming over on Saturday. You’ll be transporting the wounded
.

“I don’t suppose you’ve an extra pair you’d be willing to lend me, have you, Kent?” Talbot asked.

No, and even if I had, I wouldn’t admit it
. It would instantly expose her as the impostor she was. No woman in England had had presentable stockings by this point in the war. “Sorry,” she said, pointing down at her much-mended cotton stockings. “I’m sorry if I caused you to lose your wager.”

“Oh, well, it’s my own fault for betting against the Major. I should know better. Have you met the Major yet, Kent?”

“No, she hasn’t,” Fairchild said. “The Major’s in London. She was called to a meeting at HQ.”

“Well, when you do, you’ll find she’s
extremely
determined, particularly when it comes to obtaining equipment and supplies—and personnel—for our post.”

Fairchild nodded. “She’s convinced that the winning of the war rests entirely on our shoulders.”

“Though I’d scarcely call driving officers with roving hands vital to the war’s outcome,” Talbot said. “I hope you’re skilled at fending off amorous advances, Kent.” She turned to Fairchild. “When do you expect Maitland and the others back?”

“I rather expected they’d be back by now,” Fairchild said.

“Where
was
this applecart upset?”

“Bethnal Green.”

“Oh. I’m going to go bathe before they get back.” She took off her jacket and started for the door.

“Wait,” Fairchild said. “You can’t go yet. You still haven’t told us what you heard.”

“Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. I went to the motor pool, and they told me Bela would be ready tomorrow, which is what they
always
say.” She undid her skirt, stepped out of it, and began unbuttoning her blouse. “And I said we
must
have it today, and that I’d be willing to wait.” She shrugged out of her blouse and stood there in her slip, her arms akimbo. “But
that
was a mistake. All they wanted to do then was stand about and chat me up.”

I can imagine
, Mary thought. Talbot was not only pretty, she had a stunning figure. It was easy to see why she’d been engaged four times. “So I finally went across to the canteen to have a cup of tea, and Lyttelton was there waiting to drive a captain assigned to Coastal Defences back to Dover—”

She definitely knew about the V-1s. Coastal Defences had known that the Germans were planning to send over unmanned rockets for weeks. They’d been sworn to secrecy, but obviously the captain had told his driver, and she’d told Talbot.

“And you won’t
believe
what she told me,” Talbot went on. “She said that Captain Eden’s
married
. To a WAAF.”

“Captain Eden who took you to Quaglino’s last week?”

“And to the Savoy the week before that,
and
rang me up three days ago to ask me to a play.”

“The cad,” Fairchild said fervently.

“A complete bounder,” Talbot agreed. “And it was a play I desperately wanted to see. On the other hand, he was a dreadful dancer, and this
will give me a chance to go out with an American who hopefully will be so smitten he’ll present me with a pair of nylon stockings.” She slung a towel over her shoulder. “Ta ta, I’m off to bathe,” she said and left.

“And I need to show you the rest of the post,” Fairchild said. “You can unpack later. We haven’t much time.”

And I haven’t either
, Mary thought, following her, because even though Talbot hadn’t known about the V-1s, the returning girls definitely would. Fairchild had said they’d gone to Bethnal Green, and that was where the second V-1 had fallen, damaging a railway bridge. So she’d been right, they had been sent out to collect fragments. That meant an “applecart upset” must be an incident. But why would Talbot have said she wished she’d gone with them?

“This is the common room,” Fairchild was saying, “and that’s the door to the cellar. Our air-raid shelter is down there.” She opened a door onto a steep descending staircase. “Though we never use it. The siren’s only sounded once in the past three months, and that was when some children broke into the Civil Defence post and cranked it up for a lark.”

There hadn’t been any sirens last night? But that couldn’t be right. The sirens had definitely sounded for all four V-1s. A ten-year-old planespotter had carefully written down the times of every alert and all clear in his log. They must not have been able to hear them here in Dulwich.

“And now that our boys are in France, we shan’t have to worry about any more air raids,” Fairchild said. “The war can’t last much longer—” She stopped, listening. Mary heard the slam of a car door and then voices.

“The girls are back,” Fairchild said, hurrying into the corridor.

A trio of young women in FANY uniform were coming in from the garage, their arms full of clothing. “I still say we should have got that ecru lace,” the first one, a chunky blonde, was saying to a tall redhead.

“It was too small,” the redhead said. “Even Camberley couldn’t get the slide fastener up.”

“Grenville might have been able to let it out for her,” the blonde said.

“Were you successful, Reed?” Fairchild asked.

“Only partly,” the redhead said, coming into the despatch room and dumping the clothes she held onto the sofa. “We were only able to snag one evening frock.”

“And Camberley was nearly killed getting that,” the blonde said. “She had to fight two girls from Croydon’s St. John’s Ambulance for it.”

“But I won,” the third one, a tiny elfin-looking girl, said. She pulled a floor-length pink net frock out of the pile and held it up triumphantly. “Champion of the St. Ethelred Applecart Upset.”

Which solved one mystery. An applecart upset was slang for a clothing exchange. Exchanges had been common during the war, a result of rationing and the shortage of fabric, which was all being used for uniforms and parachutes.

“It’s a bit short,” the redhead Reed said, “but there’s a good deal of fullness in the skirt we can use to add a ruffle, and—” She stopped. “Who’s this?”

“Lieutenant Mary Kent,” Fairchild said. “Kent, this is Captain Maitland,” she pointed at the chunky blonde and then at the redhead and the elfin one, “Lieutenant Reed, and Lieutenant Camberley. Kent’s our new driver. Headquarters sent her from Oxford.”

“You’re joking!” Maitland said.

“I
told
you the Major’d pull it off,” Camberley said, “even if it is a bit late. I’m afraid you’ve missed all the fun, Kent.”

“If you were stationed in Oxford,” Reed said, “then you must know—”

“Never mind that,” Talbot said, coming in in a bathrobe with her hair wrapped in a towel. “I want to see what you got. Pink? Oh, no, I look dreadful in pink. It washes me out so. Still,” she said, snatching it up, “it’ll be better than the Yellow Peril for Saturday.”

“You’re
not
wearing it Saturday,” Camberley said. “I risked life and limb going up against those St. John’s girls.
I
get to wear it first.”

“Evening frocks are in short supply,” Fairchild explained, “so we all share. We’ve been making do with the Yellow Peril and the dress Sutcliffe-Hythe wore for her presentation at court. We dyed it lavender, but it came out rather streaky.”

“It can only be worn to
very
dark nightclubs,” Reed said.

“But I
must
wear the pink,” Talbot said. “It’s the Ritz. I’ve already worn the Yellow Peril there twice.”

“Who’s taking you to the Ritz?” Reed demanded.

“I’m not certain yet. Possibly Captain Johnson.”

“Johnson?” Reed asked. “Is he the handsome one with the dashing mustache?”


No
,” Talbot said, holding the pink frock up against her and looking at it in the mirror. “He’s the American one with access to the PX,” and Mary should have been delighted with the conversation. It was a perfect
example of pre-rocket ambulance-post life. But why hadn’t they heard about the V-1? Surely one of the Bethnal Green ambulance crew would have mentioned it.

Don’t be silly, they weren’t there
, she told herself. They’d have been up since half past four, administering first aid and transporting victims—there’d been six casualties—to hospital. They wouldn’t have then gone blithely off to a clothing exchange.

But even if they hadn’t been there, surely
someone
would have mentioned hearing an explosion. Or the siren, if, as Fairchild said, they hadn’t heard one for months. Unless, she thought, watching the FANYs pass around the pink frock and a pair of worn dancing slippers they’d obtained, they’d been so intent on finding clothes that they hadn’t spoken to anyone else?

“Haviland was there, and you’ll never guess what she told me,” Maitland said. “Do you remember Captain Ward? We met him at that canteen dance—dark wavy hair? Well, Haviland said he’s mad about me, but he’s been afraid to ask me out.”

“I was able to find you a lipstick,” Reed was saying to Talbot. “Crimson Caress.” She handed her a gold tube.

“Thank goodness,” Talbot said, taking off the cap and twisting it up to reveal a startling shade of dark red. “Mine was down to nothing. Did you get the black gloves?”

“No, but Healey and Baker were there, and they said their post is putting on a ragbag in July and that they’re certain they saw a pair in among the donations. They told me they’d save them for us.”

“What’s Bethnal Green’s post doing putting on a ragbag?” Fairchild asked.

“It’s to raise funds for a new ambulance,” Maitland said.

“Oh, no, don’t let the Major find out, or she’ll have us doing one,” Talbot moaned, but Mary scarcely heard her. Bethnal Green’s FANYs
had
been there.

Could I have got the date the V-1 assault began wrong?
she wondered, but the times and locations had been implanted straight from the historical records. But if the V-1
had
hit the railway bridge, how could they have failed to mention it?

“Look,” Reed was saying. “I got a pair of beach san—” She stopped, listening. “I think I heard a motor,” she said, darted out of the room, and returned. “The Major’s back.”

It might as well have been an air-raid siren. Reed and Camberley scooped up the clothes and swept them out of the room. Fairchild lunged
for the phonograph, unplugged it, slammed down the lid, and thrust it into Maitland’s hands. “Take this back to the common room,” she ordered, and as Maitland left, wriggled into the jacket of her uniform. “Kent, hand me the
Film News
. Quick,” she said, buttoning her jacket.

Mary dived to unwedge the rolled-up magazine propping open the door and hand it to Fairchild, who jammed it into a file cabinet drawer, then leaped back to the desk just in time to sit down and then stand up again as the Major entered.

From all the comments, Mary had been expecting a gorgon, but the Major was a small, slight woman with delicate features and only slightly graying hair. When Mary saluted and said, “Lieutenant Mary Kent, reporting for duty, ma’am,” she smiled kindly and said in a quiet voice, “Welcome, Lieutenant.”

“I was just showing her round the post,” Fairchild said.

“That can wait. Assemble the girls in the common room. I have an announcement to make,” the Major said. Which meant the V-1s had hit on schedule after all, and the Bethnal Green FANYs, like the Coastal Defence officer, had been ordered not to say anything till an official announcement had been made. Which the Major was about to do.

And in the meantime she’d had the chance, in spite of having arrived late, to observe a cross-section of life at the post—a life which was about to change radically. It was already changing. The girls’ solemn expressions as they gathered in the common room showed they knew something was up. Talbot had combed out her wet hair and got into uniform, and Fairchild had pinned her pigtails to the top of her head. They all stood at attention as the Major entered. “We are now entering a new and critical phase of the war,” she said. “I have just returned from a meeting at headquarters—”

Here it comes
.

“—where our unit received a new assignment. As of tomorrow, we will be charged with transporting soldiers wounded in the Normandy invasion to Orpington Hospital for surgery.”

Coughs and sneezes spread diseases


BRITISH MINISTRY OF HEALTH POSTER
,
1940

Warwickshire—May 1940

IT TOOK EILEEN NEARLY AN HOUR TO FILL UP THE THREE
evacuees’ paperwork for Mrs. Chambers, partly because Theodore announced he wanted to go home every thirty seconds.
So do I
, Eileen thought.
And if you hadn’t arrived, I’d be back in Oxford now, persuading Mr. Dunworthy to send me to VE-Day
.

“I
don’t want to go home,” Edwina, the elder girl, said. She looked as though she’d fit right in with Binnie. “I want to go in a boat like we was supposed to.”


I
want to go to the toilet,” Susan, the younger one, said. “Now.”

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