Blackout (11 page)

I don’t need any of this. I need to focus on me. “You should go,” I say.

The only emotion Dare shows is a slight twitch on his lips before he turns to walk away.

Lisa stops him. “Stay. We’ve hardly spoken, and I want you here.” Her hand runs along his arm in ownership, and a twinge of unwanted jealousy scratches me.

In high school, lots of girls wanted to be her. Guys followed her, but she chose Dare, then why is he with Shannon?

Lisa leads him to a gaggle of giggling girls sitting in lawn chairs. Paramedic Nan is one of them, which curls my lips into an unpleasant snarl.

Graham clasps my hand, and I give him a stiff smile. “Let me get you a beer.” He pours me a full one. “I’m sorry about that.”

I actually hate beer, but it provides my hands with something to do.

After he gives it to me, he says, “Why were you dancing with him? I thought—”

“He didn’t, and I need to know what he remembers.” I should just ask Dare. From his ever-changing mood swings, I haven’t even tried to.

Graham blinks those thick lashes of his. “Are you sure? There was another scandal a couple years after yours with some young girl.”

I hate it when someone makes me doubt what memories I do have. I’ve never heard of this other girl either or maybe Kami kept it from me. She is my source of news. “Dare is my friend.” Or rather was.

Graham doesn’t do a good job of hiding his displeasure. “I…sorry. Let’s start over. Would you like to sit down?”

Several guys entertain Kami. She laughs, but unlike me, no boy, like Jason, forces himself on her. No one has forgotten my bouts of blackouts that make me an easy target. I hate that.

Graham shows me a large blanket laid out on the sand close to the bonfire where another couple play tongue twister, like they’re still in middle school.

When I sit, I fold my legs to the side, so my mom’s skirt plumes around me.

“Are you living in a dorm next year?” he asks while half my focus is on Dare. Several girls surround him in beach chairs, while Lisa is at his side.

“No. My dad bought a townhouse close to campus.” Not sure how I’ll drive anywhere, but I can walk to school. “Where do you live?”

“I finally have a place of my own, not too far from school.” He sips on his beer. “I study almost all the time.” He sips on his beer. “My girlfriend told me I ignored her, so she wandered.”

“It’s a lie. If someone cheats, they will always cheat.” I don’t know where that comes from. To my knowledge my boyfriends have never stepped out, not that I slept with them, except Henri.

In the bonfire glow, Graham’s tan glows a golden brown. “You sound…much older.”

“Thanks.” I hate this part of dating—small talk to fill in the empty gaps. I have a lot of those. “When did you know you wanted to be a doctor?”

He smiles as if I’ve hit upon one of his favorite subjects. “Three semesters ago. I partied hard my first year, then my dad sat me down and told me to get my act together. It took me most of the summer to do that. During that summer, my dad had several interns watch him perform heart surgery on an infant, so I went with them.”

He rocks back onto his haunches, pride lighting his golden eyes. “He was amazing.” Graham will be someone. He has ambitions, and I like that.

“I used to write briefs and summaries for my daddy. He gave up his career for Mama and me.” Now, he gets to live his dream. I don’t want to take that away from him.

Graham clasps my hand. It’s warm and dry. Those beautiful eyes peer into mine. “We have something in common, our dads’ influence.” He kisses my hand, and it reminds me of Henri and how smooth he is. He knows how to treat a girl, gentle and attentive.

When Graham descends toward my mouth with a not-so uninvited kiss, Lisa yells, “What the hell?”

Graham and I both stop midair to glance in her direction. Lisa’s standing, brushing beer off her tank top. It hugs boobs the size of cantaloupes and are barely restrained.

Dare is holding onto Jason’s foot that appears to have targeted Dare’s chin. He twists Jason’s leg and flips him onto his back, and Jason lands hard on the sand.

Jason’s friend rushes to the rescue. He throws a wild punch that Dare catches before it lands into Nan’s face, which would not have bothered me in the least.

Dare finally stands, wrenches the boy’s arm behind his back, and lifts it until he cries out in pain. Dare knees him from behind, and the boy buckles, then Dare shoves the boy’s face into the sand alongside Jason.

Graham gets up to join in the fray, so I rush toward the brawl. It’s not much of one because Dare has it handled. Both boys are on the ground.

Jason howls, scrabbling to his feet and lunges at Dare. Since he’s a few feet away from Dare, I pick up sand and toss it in his face before he hits Dare.

Dare laughs.

Jason doesn’t dare rub his eyes because he’ll scratch the corneas. “You bitch.”

Someone gives him a beer to wash his eyes out, and it stings them. “Mother fuck,” he swears.

When Graham tries to add to the mess, my hand curls around his clenched fist. “Stay out of it.”

“Jason’s my frat brother. Why did you do that?” He glances down at me, displeasure shadowing his eyes.

“Dare didn’t start the fight, and if you’re friends with that ass that doesn’t say much about you.”

Graham faces me. “What are you talking about?”

Jason blinks away his tears. He backs up from Dare and me and so does his friend. The fight is over.

“At a party two years ago, this asshole lifted my shirt when I had blacked out to take photos of my boobs then posted them on Facebook.” I glare at Jason. I’d like to kick him where it counts—the humiliation still fresh in my mind.

Dare hadn’t been at that party. If he had, the kids wouldn’t have taken advantage of me. His gaze lands on my scarred wrist that I jerk behind my back.

“How would you know? You were blacked out.” Jason’s words spray on me while tears waterfall from his eyes.

“It was your Facebook page. No real detective work necessary on my part.” Or Daddy’s.

Graham’s mouth hangs open. “Is that true, Jason? Why would you do that?”

“And this bitch.” I point at Nan. “Drew all over my body with permanent marker. Nice friends you have here Graham.” It’s my turn to walk away toward Kami who is now standing behind me.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Kami asks.

“It’s a fifteen minute walk if that,” I say. “I need to clear my head.” I need to listen to the beat of the ocean and inhale its comforting salty air.

Graham’s arm folds around me, and Dare’s fists curl into hard balls. “Are you sure?” Graham asks. “I can walk you home,” he offers. “I had no idea about Jason.”

“Thanks.” I push off from him. “I need to breathe.” Without any boys around.

“Can I call you?” he asks, half begging my forgiveness with his plea.

“Maybe in a day or two.” Graham wasn’t around that night. He’s a little older than most of them.

Dare steps over to me. “Come with me, Teal. I’ll drive you.”

“What about Lisa?” I ask.

He cocks his head. “What about her?” He’s not with her?

Kami stands up to him. “Her dad doesn’t want you around.”

Dare doesn’t touch me. “Well, he’ll get his wish tomorrow. Come on, Teal.”

Graham pushes between us. “She’s not going anywhere with you.”

Dare’s eyes lock onto mine. “Teal,” he says sternly.

Why the hell does everyone push me around? I throw my hands up. “I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“I should take you home,” Kami says. “It’s dark.”

“It’s okay. It’s not that far.” I give her a quick hug. “Thanks for bringing me. I’ll see you in the morning.” Well, probably not. The court hearing starts at nine AM.

Graham takes the two steps toward me to rub my shoulder. “I’d like for you to stay. We’ve barely talked, and I can drive you home later.”

“I think I’ll call it a night,” I say, turning to leave. The party’s over for me. “Maybe another night.”

“I’m counting on that,” Graham says.

Dare stares at me. I can feel his gaze heavy on me as I pull away.

I wave and saunter toward the water. It’s a nice night for a walk on the beach, so I don’t mind. I don’t ever want to be around those people ever again. I didn’t realize they’d be there. One night of humiliation is enough, though I just wish I could fit in—just once, but I also didn’t cower, like the scared little girl I once was.

As I stroll along the beach, the sea air clears my head, which I desperately need. I glance back at the party where everyone has forgotten the fight and returned to drinking and dancing. The bonfire glows, shooting embers skyward.

With the bonfire an orange glow behind me, I slip out of my sandals and shuffle my feet in the light surf. The ocean licks my toes. I used to spend hours trolling the beach, searching for shells. The sound of the surf calms me, like nothing else can.

A shadow flickers to my right, so I spin around. Cold tickles the hair on the back of my neck. I don’t see anyone there, but I feel someone’s presence, so my pace quickens.

“Hey,” Dare says directly behind me, scaring me to the point I stumble forward. He grabs my arm before I kiss the sand.

I don’t say anything nasty because I’m happy he’s here. “I think someone is following me.”

Dare stops and searches the dunes to the west of us. “I don’t see anybody. All the more reason you shouldn’t walk home alone. If Graham were a gentleman, he would’ve insisted on driving you back.”

“I told him not to,” I say, feeling suddenly defensive of Graham.

“You said that to me, and that didn’t stop me.”

He’s right. “You’re a pest,” I say.

He grins. “I didn’t think you had it in you. You took on Jason.”

I shake my head, because his compliment doesn’t change anything, and continue walking. “Why did you sleep with Graham’s girlfriend? What happened to you?”

His chin drops to his chest. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

I spin around toward him. “You shouldn’t have done that. That’s just sleazy.”

“She came on to me…I… Can we just forget about that? She’s not important.”

I turn on him. “Then what is?” Emotion wells up in me for no reason. I hate that we can’t be friends.

“What about the girl who accused you of molesting her a few years ago?” I need to know, but yet I tremble with anticipation of the answer.

Dare lets out a frustrated sigh. “The father accused me, but it turned out he was touching his thirteen-year-old daughter. I make a good patsy, so he accused me. The DA let me off because I didn’t even know her.”

I exhale with relief. We’re both continuing to pay for that day in the swamp, but I don’t need his problems on top of the ones I already own. Regardless of our differences and his indiscretions, I can prevent shaming him further and help myself at the same time.

He grasps my hand, and I wrestle out of his grip. “Don’t, Dare. Don’t ever.” I take off at a jog and run down the beach. My house is only a few more down.

I swipe tears away. I don’t know why I’m crying. He doesn’t deserve my tears.

Dare follows me all the way home and then waits by the edge of the ocean lapping at the sand. He stands there until I scoot up the back porch to my house. My bare feet brush against something soft. Wild daisies clumped together by a red ribbon lie on the threshold.

I pick them up and glance back, but Dare has left. Could he have put them here? I don’t see how.

I bring them inside where Lulu is watching a show.

“Back so soon?” she calls.

“Yes. Did you see who left the daisies outside?” I glance back over my shoulder but no longer feel any eyes watching me, just the sea rocking into shore.

“Daisies?” she asks.

“Yes. They were right outside on the back porch.”

“I thought I heard something a few minutes after you left.” She rubs her nose. “That’s quite the coincidence. Daisies were your mom’s favorite flowers.”

“They are?” Images of her vases filled with white and yellow daisies pop into my head.

Who would leave them and why?

I take a taxi to the county courthouse. It costs me as much as a down payment on the Range Rover. In front of me, people line up to walk through the metal detector. The lawyers carry briefcases and wear suits.

I toss my house keys and cell into the basket and walk through the metal detector. According to the paperwork, our hearing is on the second floor in the judge’s chambers.

When I come into his office, the secretary gestures for me to take a seat while she gabs on the phone about her botched press-on nails. Her skirt and blouse are a bit too snug and show cleavage that begs to be seen. Dark roots bleed from her scalp of bleached hair.

I sit straight in one of the leather chairs. The clock on the wall reads eight-fifty. In another five minutes, the door creaks open and a lawyer with slicked-backed hair and bug eyes plods into the office.

Dare trails behind him with his head down. He won’t meet my gaze, making me a tad nervous.

He fidgets with his tie like it’s choking him. The suit hugs the taut muscles that lie beneath. As I study him, my body charges like it’s plugged into a wall socket. He’s so handsome, even with uncertainty crinkling his face.

The secretary eyes him over. He doesn’t even notice her, but he finally nods at me and gives me a tentative smile. This is uncomfortable for us both.

I tug on the loose thread of my blouse. It unravels and pulls out part of the hem. This is going well.

The secretary smiles big enough to show every tooth, and she has a lot of them, a few not sitting perfectly upright but leaned over. “Judge Kirkland will see you now.”

“Ladies first,” Dare’s lawyer says, gesturing for me to proceed.

Wiping my sweaty palms on my black pencil skirt, I take a deep breath and march into the judge’s chambers. Dare scrambles around me to open the door.

“Don’t hate me,” he says in a low tone, so only I can hear.

“I don’t,” I say. This isn’t his fault or mine I think until I realize from his pained expression that something ugly about me will come up during the hearing.

When Daddy is about to deliver damaging evidence or rebuttal, his shoulders shift and he straightens his spine. I don’t know what’s coming, but it can’t be good.