Blackjack and Moonlight: A Contemporary Romance (30 page)

“Elise.” When she didn’t close the fridge, he put a hand out and pushed on the door until she let go. “You have two choices. You can talk to me, or you can take me upstairs and show me where you sleep.”

She stared at the front of the refrigerator, littered with magnets from takeout restaurants holding up photos and postcards. One of them was from Eagles Mere—Elise must have sent it that weekend.

Jack turned her gently to face him. “This isn’t you. You’re not shy about telling me precisely what you want or don’t want. Is it your mother? She looked better than I’d feared, truthfully.”

“Oh, Jack,” she said. “Just hold me, okay?”

He wrapped her in his arms. She tightened her hold on him as though he was her last chance not to be swept out to sea. When he loosened his arms, she squeezed even tighter.

“Sweetheart, tell me what’s going on,” he crooned.

“I don’t know.”

He had to bring his head close to hers to hear her. This was a whole side of Elise he’d never encountered. She’d never been uncertain around him before.

The idea of sweeping her into his arms and carrying her upstairs popped into his head but that only worked in the movies. He led her to the sofa instead.

He settled her on his lap, her head still tucked into his shoulder, and rested his cheek against her silver-gilt hair.

“Is this about Peggy?” he asked after a few moments.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was stronger and more familiar. She sounded less lost and scared.

“Tell me.”

She pulled in a huge gulp of air, then let it out in a long, slow sigh. “It’s like I’m twelve again when I’m with her. I can’t stand to be with her sometimes, we have nothing to talk about, I can’t wait to leave every day, but as soon as I get back here, I’m lonely and frightened that something bad’s going to happen to her.” She looked up at him finally. “That’s crazy, right? That sounds crazy to you, yes?” She looked away. “Because it sounds crazy to me.”

“Of course not.” Actually it did sound odd to him. When his mother first got ill, he’d been so afraid of losing her that his dad had to warn the school so Jack couldn’t leave the campus and sneak back to Philly. When it was clear that she didn’t have long, Dad personally drove up to New Hampshire and got Jack out of class.

But his mother had been dying. Peggy looked like she was going to be fine. And why wouldn’t Elise want to enjoy her time with her mother?

Jack looked around the living room for clues to Peggy’s personality. The room was fairly conventionally decorated. The most exotic item was a baby grand piano in one corner.

“Does your mother play?” he asked, pointing.

“Yes. She tried to teach me when I was little, but I just couldn’t get the knack. I was willing to practice, but I could never get the sounds to match the music in my head. I much preferred when she played.”

“When did she buy this place?” It looked too new to be where Elise grew up.

“I don’t know—twelve years ago, I think.”

“Where did you live when you were in Eugene?”

“We had a place in Springfield,” she said. He could feel the tension in her body. She hunched her shoulders in a move that seemed young and scared. Whatever was going on inside Elise, it robbed her of all her self-assurance.

“Where’s that?”

“The other side of the I-Five freeway. It’s more blue-collar.”

Jack could tell he was getting closer to something important. He rubbed her arm lightly, as though he was petting a cat. “Did your parents live here before they divorced?”

She hunched over a little more. “No.”

“So how’d you end up in Euge—Springfield?”

“My mother had an affair.” It sounded like an accusation more than history. “She cheated on Dad and when the guy got a job at the university here, she followed him. You know how that story ends. So here we were, living in a crappy apartment instead of the nice house we’d had in Ohio.”

Pain made her voice low and harsh. He waited for her to continue.

“She had no job, no skills, nothing. She got me into school and found a job. I’d visit my dad in the school breaks and for six weeks every summer. He remarried and had the boys. Peggy couldn’t be bothered to date anyone else.” Elise made that sound like Peggy had deliberately avoided a second marriage as a way to deprive her daughter.

“I’d fly back and forth between
The
Brady Bunch
in Ohio and this disorganized life that Peggy was living. She got a new job every couple years. She’d make more money so we’d move to a slightly bigger apartment—that always meant I had to change schools, which I hated because I wasn’t good at making friends—and the cycle would start over. Finally they decided I should stay in Ohio for high school. I didn’t see much of Peggy after that.”

“Did you miss her?”

Elise shrugged without straightening out the protective curve of her shoulders. “Not really. It was always too messy, too cluttered at her place. And—” Her voice softened. “And I felt like I was in the way. She was in school herself then, taking courses at the university.” She peeped up at Jack, smiling a little lopsided, quirky smile. “Go Ducks.”

He smiled back at her, his heart filled with love and sadness for her lost youth. At least he’d known his parents loved him more than anything. Doted on him, really. It didn’t sound as though Elise had that.

She looked down at her hands, loosely linked around her knees. Jack could feel her relax in his arms. “She got her degree in business administration. After that, her jobs took her all over the place traveling. She came to Shaker Heights for my high school graduation, but mostly I’d see her for a few days at Christmas.”

“How often have you visited since she moved here, to the condo?”

“I don’t know. Twice? Maybe three times.” Elise bent over her knees, turning her face away from him. Jack didn’t think she could make herself any smaller without curling into a fetal position.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” He watched as her body relaxed enough that she could look him in the eyes. “Your mother is going to be fine. She’s coming back to her home here, we’ll organize some sort of nursing care, and when she’s well enough, she can come recuperate in Philadelphia if you want. Or the Jersey Shore. Someplace you can see more of her, maybe, without tripping over her at breakfast.”

Her blue eyes looked steadily at him. He couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. Then her eyelids came down just a fraction and he knew exactly what was going on in that firecracker mind. Her gaze dropped to his mouth. Yup. Their conversation was about to be superseded by sex.

He wasn’t unhappy about the shift from secrets to seduction—hell, he’d been ready to take her from the moment he walked into the hospital room over two hours ago—but he could tell he was only getting glimpses of what made her so complicated. She’d come tantalizingly close to revealing something about herself. Then—just when he thought she’d say what made her shut down emotionally—she backed off and retreated into the comforts of the bedroom.

Jet-lagged and overwhelmed with her scent, her weight in his lap, the fine texture of her skin and the silk of her hair, he was ready to retreat with her.

Consider it a necessary pit stop in the marathon.
He pressed her back against the sofa cushions, unbuttoned her shirt and kissed her, savoring her like a wine connoisseur presented with a rare vintage. He’d been craving that elixir of love and desire he tasted only with her.

Jack’s here
.

Jack’s here
.

Jack’s here
.

The words created the refrain to a song with a hard drumbeat, throbbing now as they made love on her mother’s sofa. Having words tumbling over and over in her head distracted her from the drama of her mother’s heart attack, but also interfered with her focus on that wonderful thing he was doing with his hand—oh and with his tongue.

Jack’s here
.

Jack’s—ahh! Elise’s breathing went into overdrive and she arched into the sensation, the release, the completion of their reunion.

Not even an orgasm could stop the thoughts. She felt him nuzzle her shoulder blade, kissing a leisurely path along the crest leading to her arm. But her mind wouldn’t give up.

God, she’d missed him. She hadn’t known how much until he was in Peggy’s room.

As they snuggled on the sofa, Elise wrapped herself in the unique scent of Jack. Soap, shampoo, success, and now sex. Even coffee didn’t smell this good.

She was nodding off—she hadn’t been sleeping well in a strange bed without him—when he started to touch her again, her breasts, her waist, her hip. Slow, rhythmic caresses that fell somewhere between arousing and soothing.

“Mmm.” She stretched.

“Sorry, I can’t stop touching you.”

“And I can’t stop smelling you. An addiction is an addiction.”

He chuckled, a rumble under her cheek. “Addicted to me, huh? I may be making progress here.”

She petted him, his shoulder, pecs, ribs, down to the hollow of his hip and along to his thigh. She grinned when he made a low noise in his throat, almost a purr.

“Seriously. Why did you fly here?” she asked him.

Jack lifted his head off the throw pillows. “That’s a rhetorical question, right?” He made it sound like she was crazy if she had to ask.

Elise felt her annoyance rise up, pushing at her shoulders and tightening her throat. “No. You had Brenda reschedule everything and flew cross-country to visit a woman in hospital whom you’d never met. I’m curious why.”

Jack propped his torso up on one arm, looking down at her with that stolid judicial expression she disliked. “I was happy to meet your mother, but I came to see you. I wanted to be here with you.”

Something about the situation soured her mood. “I know that, but why? I didn’t ask you to come, and I can’t believe I suggested on the phone that I was lonely or—or desperate or something.”

“Other than horny?”

She levered herself out from underneath him and went to gather her clothes. “I know I’m being unreasonable. I’m glad you’re here, really I am. I just want to know why you came.”

She headed upstairs, naked and dribbling bits of clothing behind her. She could hear Jack padding along after her, probably collecting her fallen socks and panties along the way. So predictably helpful.

“Elise,” he said, stopping her on the landing with a hand on her shoulder. “I came because I love you. I want to be here with you. I want to be here
for
you. It’s what people in love want to do.”

She stared at the floor. She’d known that would be his answer, but she’d goaded him into saying it. She suspected she wanted to shift his focus away from the stuff she’d told him downstairs before the sex. She cringed, thinking about it. Time to man up and apologize. The words stuck in her throat.

Jack’s here.
Not, as it turned out, an unalloyed pleasure.

“I need a shower,” she said over her shoulder before shaking off his hand and heading toward the guest room bath.

He let her shower alone. Was that a good thing? She was so twisted inside out that she honestly didn’t know anymore. She wanted him but then she didn’t want to be so close to him that she actually talked about her feelings. Particularly her feelings about Peggy and their life in Oregon.

Just seeing Peggy, even today, reminded Elise of that last fight they’d had before everyone agreed that she should move back to Ohio for high school. Resentful about how chaotic Peggy’s life was, and how little she seemed to care about her only child, Elise had yelled something about how Tom had been the only person Peggy ever bothered to love.

“And you ruined it for me,” Peggy had accused. “If it hadn’t been for you, he’d have stayed with me. You were the reason he went back to his wife and sons. I have you to thank for all this.” She’d swept a hand around their tiny apartment.

Two months later, Elise had a huge bedroom all to herself. She’d had to smother any desire to be back with her mother. Elise learned the hard way that wanting someone to love you didn’t make it happen.

It’d been a long time since she talked to anybody about those early years in Springfield. Telling Jack had been easy enough. Knowing that he knew was hard to bear.

When she’d settled down in Shaker Heights with her dad’s new family, she told herself it was for the best. They’d all accepted her presence without drama, and she’d used school as a touchstone of stability. Good grades had allowed her to go to Swarthmore and then Yale Law School. At each school, her childhood faded a bit more until finally she didn’t even think about it. It was as if she’d been reborn on that final flight to Cleveland. Her childhood home became Ohio, and Peggy was just a relative living in Oregon.

Until Peggy got sick and Elise flew out to join her. After five days, Elise had officially been in Eugene longer than she had in years. It was coming back to her, the little things she loved about it, like the flowers and the fountain downtown and the Schnitzer Museum with that gorgeous reflecting pool and—

Elise slumped against the shower wall, sliding down until her butt hit the tiles. She ignored the water running down around her feet.

She’d forgotten what was nice about Oregon. Worse, she’d made herself forget. That was why it was so hard to tell Jack about it. She’d put it all behind her and now it was in her face.

No more. It wasn’t bad to have told Jack—although a lingering curl of anxiety soured her stomach—but it wasn’t an experience she cared to repeat. He was right—they’d get Peggy sorted out and then go back to Philadelphia and resume their relationship the way it had been. A date night once a week. Maybe they’d even see if they could spend the occasional weekend together.

Back to the deal, where she felt safe.

That decided, she let her tension sluice off her with the now-tepid water. She stood up. She and Jack should get dressed, find a really nice restaurant and have a special meal together. She owed him a calm and pleasant evening after her emotional meltdown.