Black Ties and Lullabyes (31 page)

Then an address flashed across the bottom of the screen, and his heart slammed against his chest. No.

It couldn’t be.

He looked closer.

It was.

He leaped off the sofa, ran to the kitchen, grabbed his keys, and hurried out the door.

A few minutes later, Bernie pul ed up in front of her apartment and got out of her car, her feet so pinched by her shoes that she’d probably have to amputate both feet. When she thought about how wonderful she’d felt only a few hours ago and how horrible she felt now, she thought she was going to cry al over again. She’d known al along that things could end badly, but she’d never expected anything like this.

She’d never expected that he would ask her to marry him, and it would end up being the worst thing he could possibly have done. He’d offered her everything under the sun except the one thing she couldn’t do without, and it broke her heart to final y know that was one thing he wasn’t capable of giving her.

She went into her apartment. She stil wasn’t used to being in such a pretty place, and every moment she spent there from now on, she knew she’d be reminded of Jeremy. After what had happened tonight, everything she felt for him should have vanished in an instant, but right now the pain of leaving him was stil so raw and so sharp she ached with it.

The worst part was that she couldn’t just cut al ties and move on. He was the father of her babies. A man who would be in her life forever. She only hoped that one day they could reach the place where it wouldn’t kil her to see him and think about how things might have been.

Just as she’d kicked off the shoes from hel and col apsed on her sofa, her phone rang. She rose again and grabbed it from her evening bag. She looked at the cal er ID and groaned out loud.

Her mother. The last person Bernie wanted to talk to right now. Her mind instantly leaped to the conversation she was going to have to have with her about Jeremy, the one where she told her mother that the man she thought could do no wrong had done something so wrong that her daughter could never be with him again.

Yeah, that conversation was coming. Just not tonight. She’d talk to her about Jeremy tomorrow, after she got her emotions back under control and her heart had at least begun to mend.

She hit the TALK button. “Hi, Mom. What’s up?”

“Bernadette?” she said in a shaky voice. “Are—are you there?”

Bernie felt a rush of panic. “Mom? What’s wrong?”

“Fire,” she said. “My house. There’s a fire.” Bernie jerked to attention. “Fire? Mom, are you out of the house?”

“Yes. I’m out. The firemen are here, but it’s stil burning. My house is burning. Please, Bernadette.

Come now.
Please!
”

Bernie threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and jumped into her car, and by the time she reached her mother’s house, the firefighters had extinguished the blaze, but smoke was stil pouring out through the open front door and a few broken windows. A fire truck, an ambulance, and several police cars were parked in front of the house, along with a couple of vans from local news stations, and Bernie had to leave her car down the street and walk the rest of the way. As she made her way along the sidewalk toward her mother’s house, the acrid smel of smoke fil ed her lungs.

She worried when she didn’t see her mother right away. Then she spotted her in the next yard over, huddled with three of her neighbors. Her mother saw her coming and walked over to meet her, tears streaming down her face.

Bernie hugged her. “Mom! Are you okay?”

“Oh, Bernadette. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” Bernie held her by the shoulders. “Sorry? Why are you sorry?”

“It was my fault,” she said. “The fire was my fault!”

“What do you mean?”

“I put something on the stove, but then I guess I forgot about it,” she said, her words tumbling over each other. “Then I smel ed smoke. I came back into the kitchen and it was on fire. I didn’t know how to put it out, so I just grabbed my purse and ran outside.”

“You did the right thing. The most important thing is that you got out without getting hurt.”

“But what am I going to do now? My house! What am I going to do?”

“Calm down, Mom. That’s what insurance is for.

Everything can be repaired.”

“Our family photo albums were on the bookshelf in the living room. What if they burned up in the fire?”

“We won’t know what was damaged for a day or two. Then we’l deal with it, okay?”

“I have no place to live,” Eleanor said.

“You’l stay with me. Just until we can get the damage repaired.”

But even as she was reassuring her mother, Bernie felt the most horrible sense of foreboding. She’d thought her mother would surely be safe in her own home for a while longer, but if she couldn’t even turn on the stove without causing a fire, how could she ever live alone again? And if she couldn’t live alone, what the hel was Bernie supposed to do?

Damn it! It wasn’t supposed to happen this soon!

The crushing responsibility she felt overwhelmed her. If she had to work, she was going to have to find somebody to care for her mother during the day. How was she ever going to pay for that?

Okay. The insurance money would fix the house.

And if she sold it, she’d have that equity. But with the cost of a marginal y decent facility or even home health care, that money would be gone in no time.

One of the firefighters approached them, sweat pouring down his temples. Bernie asked him about the damage.

“It real y isn’t that bad,” the firefighter said. “We got here quickly, and it was pretty much contained to the front of the house. Most of the damage is from smoke and water.” He turned to Eleanor. “You’re sure not going to want to stay there, though. Do you have a place you can go tonight?”

“Yes. This is my daughter. I can stay with her.”

“There’s nothing you can do here tonight,” he told her. “Feel free to go to your daughter’s house and get some sleep.”

As the firefighter walked away, Eleanor turned to Bernie. “Bernadette? Where is Jeremy?” Just hearing his name made Bernie feel sick inside. She’d had a terrible feeling her mother was going to ask that question, and she didn’t have a good answer. But just as she started to make something up, her mother glanced off into the distance, a look of relief passing over her face.

“Oh, thank God,” Eleanor said. “There he is!” Bernie whipped around, shocked to see Jeremy striding across the lawn toward them. He stil wore his tuxedo pants and shirt, and even at this distance, he looked so handsome her breath caught in her throat.

She put her hand against her chest to try to calm her heart, which was suddenly beating like mad.

“I need to talk to him,” Bernie said to her mother.

“Can you stay here with your neighbors for just a moment?”

Eleanor nodded, and Bernie turned toward Jeremy.

She didn’t know why he was here. How he knew to come. What he would say when she talked to him.

She walked hesitantly toward him at first, in contrast to his strong, purposeful strides, and the closer she came to him, the more her chest tightened. His face was in shadow, and it wasn’t until she drew closer stil that she saw it clearly. Gone was the cynical expression that had been on his face when she’d walked out his door, and in its place was a look of overwhelming concern that went straight to her heart.

The swirling soot and ash seemed to drive away the memory of the hurtful words they’d spoken to each other, and when they were stil several strides away from each other, he held out his arms. She didn’t walk the rest of the way.

She ran.

When she final y fel against him, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and al she could think was,
He’s here. He’s here. Thank God.

“I saw it on the news,” Jeremy said. “I came as soon as I could. Is your mother al right?”

“She’s a little shaken up, but she’s fine.”

“What happened?”

“God, Jeremy… it’s awful…”

He eased her away and held her by the shoulders.

“Tel me.”

Bernie felt as if she were sinking in quicksand, and every word she spoke about it only weighed her down more. “She was the one who started the fire.”

“What?”

“She left something on the stove and forgot about it.

When she came back into the kitchen, it was on fire.

She forgot. She forgot about what was on the stove.

She could have been kil ed. If she’d gone to sleep before she saw it, then—”

Bernie’s voice suddenly choked up, and she put her hand against her mouth, squeezing her eyes closed and gritting her teeth against the tears she felt building behind her eyes.

“Take it easy, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! It’s my fault! I should have known she was getting too forgetful. But with everything going on, I just wasn’t paying close enough attention. I can’t stay with her because I have to work, but I can’t afford to pay somebody else to stay with her. At least, not for long. And then the babies are coming, and—”

“Bernie. Listen to me. I’m going to take care of everything, okay? Everything. I’m going to make sure you never have to worry about anything again as long as you live. Do you understand?”

“You’re al I need right now,” she said. “Just you.” He pul ed her into his arms again, surrounding her with the kind of warmth and security she needed above al else. “I’m here for you, sweetheart,” he whispered against her cheek. “I’l always be here for you.”

Jeremy insisted on taking Bernie and her mother back to his house for the night, which he said would be more comfortable for both of them. Bernie didn’t argue. His house had come to mean comfort and relaxation and contentment to her, and that was exactly what she needed tonight. Mrs. Spencer met them at the door and told them she had the guest suite ready with fresh linens, cups of tea, and nightclothes for Bernie and Eleanor. Bernie sent her mother upstairs with Mrs. Spencer and told her she’d fol ow in a moment.

As the ladies disappeared up the stairs, Jeremy took Bernie by the hand and led her into the den, where he sat down on the sofa and pul ed her into his arms. She lay her head against his chest, soothed by the rhythmic beating of his heart.

“How are the kids?” he asked, putting his hand against her bel y. “As tired as you are?”

“They’re pretty quiet. I think they’re sleeping.” A long silence stretched between them.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “So sorry.”

“I know.”

“No. I need to say it. You were right about everything. I’ve been chasing things that were never going to make me happy. But not anymore. I’ve found out what real y makes me happy, and it’s not making the next buck.” He paused, his voice rough with emotion. “It’s you, Bernie.”

Bernie felt a shiver of awareness when he said those words, astonished that after everything that had happened, she was with him now and he was tel ing her that. She turned slowly and sat up, wanting to see his eyes, needing to see if they echoed the sincerity of his words.

They were glistening with tears.

“I’m so sorry about tonight,” he went on. “The things I said to you. You have so much going for you. You don’t know it, but you do. I was just so afraid of losing you that I did something stupid and drove you away.

That’s never going to happen again. Do you believe me?”

The earnest tone of his voice sent shivers between her shoulder. “Yes.”

“You told me you were looking for a man who was good and kind and dependable who would love you forever. I want to be that man.” He took her face in his hands, strumming his thumbs along her cheeks, looking at her as if she were the most precious thing on earth. “I love you, Bernie. Do you love me?” The answer seemed so clear that she was surprised he even had to ask. Yes, she loved him. Not because of his looks, even though she practical y fainted every time she set eyes on him. Not because of his intel igence. The world was ful of intel igent men who didn’t make her heart go crazy every time she heard their voices. And certainly not because of his money, because he could be dead, flat broke, and she would stil love him.

It was so much more than those things.

It was his rescuing her mother that night at the grocery store. Straightening out her cousin Bil y for the first time in his adult life so she could quit worrying about him. Researching sex positions on the Internet so he could please her when he made love to her.

It was his showing up tonight and tel ing her he’d be there forever.

“Yes,” she said. “God,
yes
, I love you.”

“I want you to marry me.”

She sat up straight with surprise. He wanted to
marry
her?

“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s nothing like earlier. I’m talking about the real thing.”

She was so stunned she couldn’t speak.

“Love, honor, cherish, til death do us part. Al of it.” And stil she stared at him.

“And no prenup. Prenups are for people who plan on getting a divorce. I have so much, Bernie. But I’ve never had anyone to share it with. From now on, what’s mine is yours.”

Bernie swal owed hard, trying to say something, but her voice had deserted her completely.

“Miss Hogan?”

Bernie looked over to see Mrs. Spencer at the doorway.

“Your mother is asking for you,” she said.

“I’l be there in a moment.”

“I know it’s a lot to think about, so don’t say a word now,” Jeremy said. “We’l talk tomorrow. Come on. I’l walk you upstairs.”

He helped her off the sofa and guided her up the stairs. When they reached the door of the guest suite, he slid his hand beneath her hair at the back of her neck, leaned in, and kissed her softly on the forehead.

She closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of his lips and the gentle strength of his hand against her neck.

“Good night,” he whispered.

As Jeremy disappeared down the hal , Bernie closed her eyes and put her fingertips to her forehead where he’d kissed her, so in love with him she thought she’d faint with the feeling. Then she lowered her fingertips and touched them to her own lips.

He’s even more than what you thought he was. So
much more.

When her heart rate final y returned to normal, she opened the door and went into the living room of the guest suite, then into the bedroom, where she found her mother lying in bed in her pajamas, sipping tea.

“Mrs. Spencer is a lovely woman, isn’t she?” Eleanor said.

Bernie smiled. “Yes, she is.”

“She has four grandchildren, you know.”

“Yes. I know.”

“She’s very excited about the twins. She says Jeremy is, too.”

“Yeah. He is.”

“You look so tired, dear. You need some sleep.”

“I know. I’m going to change clothes.” Bernie went into the closet and grabbed one of the emerald-green gowns. She went into the bathroom, got undressed, and put it on. When she came back to the bedroom, her mother placed her palm against her chest and sighed with delight.

“Oh, Bernadette! That gown is just beautiful on you.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed wearing them. That you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t be pretty, now does it?”

Bernie couldn’t help smiling at that. She walked over and sat down on the bed beside her mother. “It’s been kind of a rough night, hasn’t it?”

“Yes. But Jeremy has been just wonderful. He loves you very much, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, Mom. He does.” She paused. “He even wants to marry me.”

Eleanor’s mouth dropped open. “
Marry
you?”

“Yeah. He asked me tonight. What do you think?

Should I say yes?”

Bernie could almost see her mother quivering with restraint. “Wel , I don’t know. You’ve always had your own mind, Bernadette. I wouldn’t presume to get in the middle of such a big decision.”

“Okay.”

“But maybe you should ask yourself a few questions,” she added quickly.

“Like what?”

“Wel , do you love him, too?”

Bernie smiled softly. “Yes. I do.”

“Do you believe he’l make a good husband?”

“The best.”

“A good father?”

“Absolutely.”

“Wel . Those are al very good things, aren’t they?

Things I’m sure you’l want to take into account when you—”

“I’m going to marry him, Mom.”

In that moment, Eleanor’s restraint went right out the window. She threw her arms around Bernie and hugged her, rocking back and forth, joy and excitement pouring out of her like sunshine.

“I knew it would happen,” Eleanor said. “I knew it! I knew eventual y you’d al become a family.” Bernie couldn’t say she’d been equal y sure about that, but she was thril ed it was happening just the same.

“Wil you live here?” Eleanor asked.

“Yeah. Probably.”

“Oh, my,” Eleanor said on a breath of delight. “It’s like a fairy tale, isn’t it?”