Authors: Bruce Sterling
“That situation is complicated,” Massimo hedged, and stood up. “Watch my bag, will you?”
He then departed to the toilet, leaving me to wonder about all the ways in which our situation could be complicated.
Now I was sitting alone, staring at that corked brandy bottle. My brain was boiling. The strangeness of my situation had broken some important throttle inside my head.
I considered myself bright—because I could write in three languages, and I understood technical matters. I could speak to engineers, designers, programmers, venture capitalists and government officials on serious, adult issues that we all agreed were important. So, yes, surely I was bright.
But I’d spent my whole life being far more stupid than I was at this moment.
In this terrible extremity, here in the cigarette-choked Elena, where the halfragged denizens pored over their grimy newspapers, I knew I possessed a true potential for genius. I was Italian, and, being Italian, I had the knack to shake the world to its roots. My genius had never embraced me, because genius had never been required of me. I had been stupid because I dwelled in a stupefied world.
I now lived in no world at all. I had no world. So my thoughts were rocketing through empty space.
Ideas changed the world. Thoughts changed the world—and thoughts could be written down. I had forgotten that writing could have such urgency, that writing could matter to history, that literature might have consequence. Strangely, tragically, I’d forgotten that such things were even possible.
Calvino had died of a stroke: I knew that. Some artery broke inside the man’s skull as he gamely struggled with his manifesto to transform the next millennium. Surely that was a great loss, but how could anybody guess the extent of that loss? A stroke of genius is a black swan, beyond prediction, beyond expectation. If a black swan never arrives, how on Earth could its absence be guessed?
The chasm between Massimo’s version of Italy and my Italy was invisible—yet all-encompassing. It was exactly like the stark difference between the man I was now, and the man I’d been one short hour ago.
A black swan can never be predicted, expected, or categorized. A black swan, when it arrives, cannot even be recognized as a black swan. When the black swan assaults us, with the wingbeats of some rapist Jupiter, then we must rewrite history.
Maybe a newsman writes a news story, which is history’s first draft.
Yet the news never shouts that history has black swans. The news never tells us that our universe is contingent, that our fate hinges on changes too huge for us to comprehend, or too small for us to see. We can never accept the black swan’s arbitrary carelessness. So our news is never about how the news can make no sense to human beings. Our news is always about how well we understand.
Whenever our wits are shattered by the impossible, we swiftly knit the world back together again, so that our wits can return to us. We pretend that we’ve lost nothing, not one single illusion. Especially, certainly, we never lose our minds. No matter how strange the news is, we’re always sane and sensible. That is what we tell each other.
Massimo returned to our table. He was very drunk, and he looked greenish.
“You ever been in a squat-down Turkish toilet?” he said, pinching his nose. “Trust me, don’t go in there.”
“I think we should go to your Italy now,” I said.
“I could do that,” he allowed idly,“although I’ve made some trouble for myself there… my real problem is you.”
“Why am I trouble?”
“There’s another Luca in my Italy. He’s not like you, because he’s a great author, and a very dignified and very wealthy man. He wouldn’t find you funny.”
I considered this. He was inviting me to be bitterly jealous of myself. I couldn’t manage that, yet I was angry anyway. “Am I funny, Massimo?”
He’d stopped drinking, but that killer brandy was still percolating through his gut.
“Yes, you’re funny, Luca. You’re weird. You’re a terrible joke. Especially in this version of Italy. And especially now that you’re finally catching on. You’ve got a look on your face now like a drowned fish.” He belched into his fist. “Now, at last, you think that you understand, but no, you don’t. Not yet. Listen, in order to arrive here—I
created
this world. When I press the Function-Three key, and the field transports me here—without me as the observer, this universe doesn’t even exist.”
I glanced around the thing that Massimo called a universe. It was an Italian café. The marble table in front of me was every bit as solid as a rock. Everything around me was very solid, normal, realistic, acceptable and predictable.
“Of course,” I told him. “And you also created my universe, too. Because you’re not just a black swan. You’re God.”
“‘Black swan,’ is that what you call me?” He smirked, and preened in the mirror. “You journalists need a tag-line for everything.”
“You always wear black,” I said. “Does that keep our dirt from showing?”
Massimo buttoned his black woolen jacket. “It gets worse,” he told me. “When I press that Function-Two key, before the field settles in… I generate millions of potential histories. Billions of histories. All with their souls, ethics, thoughts, histories, destinies—whatever. Worlds blink into existence for a few nanoseconds while the chip runs through the program—and then they all blink out. As if they never were.”
“That’s how you move? From world to world?”
“That’s right, my friend. This ugly duckling can fly.”
The Elena’s waiter arrived to tidy up our table. “A little rice pudding?” he asked.
Massimo was cordial. “No, thank you, sir.”
“Got some very nice chocolate in this week! All the way from South America.”
“My, that’s the very best kind of chocolate.” Massimo jabbed his hand into a cargo pocket. “I believe I need some chocolate. What will you give me for this?”
The waiter examined it carefully. “This is a woman’s engagement ring.”
“Yes, it is.”
“It can’t be a real diamond, though. This stone’s much too big to be a real diamond.”
“You’re an idiot,” said Massimo,“but I don’t care much. I’ve got a big appetite for sweets. Why don’t you bring me an entire chocolate pie?”
The waiter shrugged and left us.
“So,” Massimo resumed, “I wouldn’t call myself a ‘God’—because I’m much better described as several million billion Gods. Except, you know, that the zeropoint transport field always settles down. Then, here I am. I’m standing outside some café, in a cloud of dirt, with my feet aching. With nothing to my name, except what I’ve got in my brain and my pockets. It’s always like that.”
The door of the Elena banged open, with the harsh jangle of brass Indian bells. A gang of five men stomped in. I might have taken them for cops, because they had jackets, belts, hats, batons and pistols, but Turinese cops do not arrive on duty drunk. Nor do they wear scarlet armbands with crossed lightning bolts.
The café fell silent as the new guests muscled up to the dented bar. Bellowing threats, they proceeded to shake-down the staff.
Massimo turned up his collar and gazed serenely at his knotted hands. Massimo was studiously minding his own business. He was in his corner, silent, black, inexplicable. He might have been at prayer.
I didn’t turn to stare at the intruders. It wasn’t a pleasant scene, but even for a stranger, it wasn’t hard to understand.
The door of the men’s room opened. A short man in a trenchcoat emerged. He had a dead cigar clenched in his teeth, and a snappy Alain Delon fedora.
He was surprisingly handsome. People always underestimated the good looks, the male charm of Nicolas Sarkozy. Sarkozy sometimes seemed a little odd when sunbathing half-naked in newsstand tabloids, but in person, his charisma was overwhelming. He was a man that any world had to reckon with.
Sarkozy glanced about the café for a matter of seconds. Then he sidled, silent and decisive, along the dark mahogany wall. He bent one elbow. There was a thunderclap. Massimo pitched face-forward onto the small marble table.
Sarkozy glanced with mild chagrin at the smoking hole blown through the pocket of his stylish trenchcoat. Then he stared at me.
“You’re that journalist,” he said.
“You’ve got a good memory for faces, Monsieur Sarkozy.”
“That’s right, asshole, I do.” His Italian was bad, but it was better than my French. “Are you still eager to ‘protect’ your dead source here?” Sarkozy gave Massimo’s heavy chair one quick, vindictive kick, and the dead man, and his chair, and his table, and his ruined, gushing head all fell to the hard café floor with one complicated clatter.
“There’s your big scoop of a story, my friend,” Sarkozy told me. “I just gave that to you. You should use that in your lying commie magazine.”
Then he barked orders at the uniformed thugs. They grouped themselves around him in a helpful cluster, their faces pale with respect.
“You can come out now, baby,” crowed Sarkozy, and she emerged from the men’s room. She was wearing a cute little gangster-moll hat, and a tailored camouflage jacket. She lugged a big black guitar case. She also had a primitive radio-telephone bigger than a brick.
How he’d enticed that women to lurk for half an hour in the reeking café toilet, that I’ll never know. But it was her. It was definitely her, and she couldn’t have been any more demure and serene if she were meeting the Queen of England.
They all left together in one heavily armed body.
The thunderclap inside the Elena had left a mess. I rescued Massimo’s leather valise from the encroaching pool of blood.
My fellow patrons were bemused. They were deeply bemused, even confounded. Their options for action seemed to lack constructive possibilities.
So, one by one, they rose and left the bar. They left that fine old place, silently and without haste, and without meeting each other’s eyes. They stepped out the jangling door and into Europe’s biggest plaza.
Then they vanished, each hastening toward his own private world.
I strolled into the piazza, under a pleasant spring sky. It was cold, that spring night, but that infinite dark blue sky was so lucid and clear.
The laptop’s screen flickered brightly as I touched the F1 key. Then I pressed 2, and then 3.
Coming soon
The Parthenopeian Scalpel
– A short story by
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– A short story by
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WikiWorld
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Paul Di Filippo
"One absolute knock-out story… that is among the most exciting pieces of fiction I’ve read in years." Cory Doctorow