Black: Part 3 (Black Series) (5 page)

Then he moves in to kiss me.

Wade’s lips connect with mine and time slows down. My heart pounds frantically in my chest. It feels like every muscle in my body tightens at the same time. My lips purse together while the rest of me goes rigid. Wade might as well be kissing a mannequin.

It doesn’t last for long. When Wade pulls away I can’t do anything but give him a panicked stare. He frowns, probably thinking that I’m a complete lunatic. But he recovers quickly and the confused look stretches into that boyish grin of his.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself… Was that too forward of me?”

My pulse is pounding so loudly that I only barely understand what he’s saying. What’s even worse are the thoughts of Calvin that come flooding through my head. I’m a completely jumbled mess.

Finally, I compose myself enough to form a response.

“No, it’s fine… It’s just…” I shake my head. What am I even saying? “I’m sorry… I’ve been going through a lot lately. I didn’t mean to freak out on you…”

His hand slides down my arm and he pulls me even closer. The bulge in his pants presses into my hip and I have to fight the urge to jump away.

“Don’t blame yourself, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have made a move like that so suddenly.” His blue eyes fall slowly down my body before stopping at my cleavage. “You’re so sexy tonight. I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you since we first sat down at the restaurant…”

“Thanks,” I respond, not sure what else I’m supposed to say.

His eyes finally return to mine.

“It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it? Since you’ve been with someone, I mean… Don’t worry, I’ll take it slow. We’re going to have a lot of fun.”
 

His arm tightens around me and he tries to pull me even closer. But this time it’s too much.

“Wait,” I say, holding my hands up and taking a step back. “Not like this…”

“Of course, what am I thinking? You’ve got me all wound up like an over-eager virgin… Let’s get that drink first, and take some time to get comfortable.”

I shake my head.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean we can’t do this at all.”

He frowns and arches his head back.

“I don’t understand. You’re having a good time, aren’t you?”

“Yes, of course. It’s just…”

I shake my head, trying to compose my thoughts.

The smart thing would be to tell him I’m not feeling well, or something like that. But instead, I do what I do best and let the verbal diarrhea take over.

I blame it on the alcohol.

“…It’s just, I’ve got this ex that recently came back into my life, and I don’t know what’s going on with him, and it’s got me feeling all confused and messed up because we didn’t really have any closure, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. I mean, I don’t want to be a bitch, but then I also kind of don’t want anything to do with him at the same time. But I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking and maybe it would be nice if we could go back to being friends. And…” As my brain works overtime to find more words to throw into the chaos, I notice the wide-eyed look on Wade’s face. My lips purse together and my brow draws down in a cringe. “I’m sorry… That’s probably
way
more than you wanted to know.”

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments. He probably thinks I’m a complete psycho. He’s probably trying to figure out how he can get out of here before I try to attack him with a knife or something.

“Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind” he says, finally.
 

I let out a held breath.

You could say that again… At least he has the decency to not call me a crazy-person to my face.

“Sorry… Things are just really complicated right now. I don’t want to make them even more confusing.”

He bobs his head in agreement.

“You just need a little time to sort it out. We’ve all been there.”

This time, I don’t have to force the smile on my face.

“Thanks for understanding,” I say.

Maybe inviting Wade up wasn’t a bad idea after all? Maybe spending time with him tonight really is exactly what I need.

He cocks an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.

“So, no making out… but we can still have that nightcap, right?”

I let out a tiny laugh

“Yes, that sounds nice.”

And it really does.

Calvin

“I was surprised when you called,” I say. “When you left the other night I didn’t think I was going to hear from you again.”

The truth of the matter is that I’d spent the entire weekend torturing myself for everything that had happened. If the situation were reversed there would be no way I would call her. Maybe it’s hypocritical for me to be so thankful she didn’t do just that.

Sofie gives me a hesitant look. Even all flustered she’s still the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. It’s not just a physical thing. There’s something about her very being that I find irresistible.

“We need to get everything out in the open,” she says.

“I agree.”

I give a quick look around. There’s a gray tinge to the sky while a few clouds lazily watch over us. A full two feet of space separates us on the wooden bench in Central Park where we’re sitting.

“This isn’t exactly the place that I’d pictured when you said you wanted to talk.”

“You can’t blame me for not wanting to go back to your club,” she says, harshly. I struggle to keep my face impassive. “And this is close to my work. I usually eat lunch at my desk and I don’t want to be gone too long.”

I cock an eyebrow.

“So we’re on a timer?”

She hesitates for a second before responding.

“It’s safer this way…”

The comment is surprising. But I know exactly what she means. It’s safer because it gives us a reason to get away from each other. It’s safer because she doesn’t trust herself with me. I can tell by the look in her eye.

“We better get started then…”

She gives me a long look before saying anything. I’m not sure if she’s waiting for me to break the silence or if she’s trying to piece together exactly what she wants to say to me. Either way, if we’re on a timer, I’d rather her just come out with it.

“What is it that you wanted to talk about?” I prompt.

My tone is flat. All business. And if it comes across as cold, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she gets an almost apologetic look on her face. It’s not exactly what I am expecting to see.

“I wanted to apologize,” she says.

The comment catches me completely off guard. I have to fight against every muscle in my body to keep my cool.

“Apologize for what?”

“The other night, when we were together… I shouldn’t have run out on you like that.”

“Like you did all those years ago?”

I pinch my eyes shut, regretting the comment the instant it’s left my lips.

Get it together. She invites you here to apologize and your first response is to be an asshole?

Maybe it
would
have been better if she’d stayed away…

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” I offer.

Sofie takes the jab and the apology in stride. She waves her hand dismissively.

“I deserved that,” she says, softly.

Again, the apologetic tone in her voice catches me off guard. It doesn’t sound anything like the Sofie I’ve been dealing with since she first walked into my club.

I’m not sure what’s going on with her, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a moment like this pass me by. Who knows if she’ll have a change of heart and decide she never wants to see me again? That’s a risk that I’m not willing to take—not when I have her here with me.

“I want you back,” I say.

There’s no humor in my voice. There’s no hardness, either. It’s just a simple statement of truth. Probably one of the only things I know to be true in this world.

Her eyes look even sadder. But maybe also a little hopeful? Or maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see…

“I don’t know…” she begins.

I scoot closer to her, wanting so desperately to bridge the gaping distance between us.

“If there’s one thing I know to be true in this world, it’s that we belong together. And I know you feel it the same way I do.” I fix her with a serious look. “I’ll never stop fighting for you, Sofie. There’s nothing I won’t do to overcome the damage that’s been done between us.” I study her for a second, certain that at least a little part of what I’m saying is getting through. “I know you can feel it, Sofie. I can tell by the look on your face right now that you know what I’m saying is true. We should be working out our differences and putting the past behind us. We’ve wasted enough time being apart. I don’t want to spend another second without you by my side.”

I hold her with that serious look for as long as I can. For a while I’m not sure if I’ve said too much, or if I came on too strong. I’m not usually one to start gushing like that… But with Sofie, the rules don’t apply.

“How can I ever trust you again?” she asks. “How can I be certain you’re not going to do exactly what you did before? How do I know there isn’t some other Renae or Charlotte out there waiting to pop up?”

I give a stern shake of my head.

“I’m not going to try to convince you that I’m some kind of saint. But I will say that my heart has belonged to you since the moment you first held my hand. You remember that, don’t you? On the Waterfront? I haven’t been the same since that night.”

Finally, I give her one more intense look and let out a deep breath.

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” I say, reassuring her again. “Ask anything of me and I’ll do it.”

She gives me a flat look. Her eyes dart back and forth between mine in a way that tells me she’s trying to decide whether or not she can believe me.

“No sex,” she says, suddenly.

I frown, my brow pinching together.

“No sex?” I repeat.

She gives me a hard stare, then bobs her head.

“Not even with yourself.”

What in the world is she talking about? No sex with myself? What does that even mean?

“I’m not following…”

She scoots to the edge of the bench, excited and emboldened by whatever line of thought has caught her attention.

“For one full month. No sex with anyone—not even yourself. If you can do that then maybe there really is a chance for us.”

I give her a hard stare. Obviously she’s just fucking with me. She can’t possibly be serious. I don’t think I’ve gone a month without jerking off at the very least since I was in high school.

“I’m not fucking with you, Sofie. I want you back and I’ll do anything to make it happen. But if it’s just some game to you then maybe you’re not as interested as I thought you were.”

She gives me a hard, flat stare.

“I’m being one hundred percent serious, Calvin. You may not have exactly cheated on me before, but you still betrayed my trust. And then I found out that you’re
still
hooking up with random girls. It’s almost too much.”

My back stiffens, anger and frustration flowing through me.

“I told you that I haven’t been with anyone since I found out you were back in town. Whatever I did before that, frankly, isn’t any of your business. You can’t hold it against me.”

She lets out a long breath, giving me a frustrated look. Why is
she
the one that’s frustrated?
She’s
the one that’s making these ridiculous demands!

“I need to know that you can keep your dick in your pants! I need you to
prove
that to me!”

A growl works its way up through my chest, but I hold it back.

Does she even realize how childish she’s being right now? Does she really expect me to go a
month
without even so much as pleasuring myself? My doctor would be the first one to tell me that it’s not healthy for a man to go that long without relieving himself. Stuff gets backed up in there, and if it doesn’t get out then I can’t be held liable for whatever happens.

But what choice do I have?

I knew the moment I laid eyes on her again that I would do anything to get her back. It wasn’t something I even had to think about. And
that’s
what makes this so damn infuriating.

“Fine,” I say through gritted teeth.

Sofie gives me a bewildered look before her head tilts to one side, cautiously.

“You’ll do it?” she asks, as though she never really expected me to agree.

I can feel the muscles in my jaw flexing. It’s like they’re fighting against me to not give her a response.

“Yes.”

Her eyes narrow for a second, but then her face blossoms into one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen. My cock gives a sudden lurch in my pants as it considers a few things it wants to do to Sofie right here and now. I quickly adjust myself in the hope that she won’t notice.
 

“Then this is for real,” she says. “For one month we’ll see how it goes. And if you can hold out then that will prove to me that we really might have something.”

This is going to be the longest month of my life…

Sofie

“So this is supposed to be like our first date or something?”

Calvin gives a quick look around with a raised eyebrow. He’s had a doubtful look on his face ever since we arrived at the pub. I’m not sure he really believed me when I told him that I wanted to go on a date.

“Something like that,” I say.

He leans over the table, his eyes narrowing.

“Even after all that we’ve been through, you want to go back to a
first date?
”

I give him a playfully shocked look.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s not exactly the kind of place I would take a first date that I’m trying to impress.”

My stomach twists sharply at the thought of him going on first dates with other women, but I battle it down. I already agreed to not hold his other… dates… against him. And I know I have to stick to that. I’ve had my fair share of first dates, too.
 
Sure, none of them ended up going anywhere, but it’s not like I can hold that against him.

I can’t keep blaming him for everything that happened. Sure, part of it is his fault—maybe even most of it—but I definitely played my own role. He was right a few days ago when he said that what he’s done since we were together isn’t any of my business. We weren’t together, we were both free to do whatever we wanted.