Bittersweet Seraphim (40 page)

Jack lit up a cigarette, and after exhaling he shook his head. “I wasn’t exactly hitting the history books back in the day.”

“How can we help them?” Emma slid under his arm so she could put her hand over his heart.

“Not sure we can. Their problems might be their own.” Jack tapped the drug so the ashes fell, glowed, and extinguished.

Emma went in for a kiss and snagged the butt at the same time. She dropped it and stomped it out as he tried to get her to stop.

“We’re going to go through all our money if you keep wasting shit.” Jack hugged her to his chest.

They stood looking into the dark woods.

“I refuse to do nothing. I have to figure out a way to ease her mind.”

“How did I know you’d say that? Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Jack held out his hand and led her back into the house.

She loved him because he’d help her help them, even though he hadn’t wanted to be here in the first place.

Chapter 45

On the way home Jack drove, stealing glances at Emma, who sighed on occasion. At least they’d gotten out of the Parish house alive. Emma had assumed they’d still remember not to kill, but Jack had watched people’s convictions change enough to have a gun in his pocket.

Emma broke the silence. “I guess it’ll be okay. God wouldn’t put life where it wasn’t meant to be.” She reached for his hand.

He smiled at her, but disagreed in his head. Evil was out there, and it could thrive. When he pulled her car into his driveway, he was nervous again. Now wasn’t the best time for his question. She was thinking of everyone else.

He kicked off his old motorcycle boots and followed her upstairs. She twisted her hair into a knot and pulled off her bra, throwing it off to the side. Jack rolled his eyes at her back. She hated wearing bras and pulled them off the second she could. He’d find her bras in the living room behind the couch or lying on the kitchen table next to the mail. He snagged the lingerie from the floor as they made their way to the bedroom. She was harping on one of her concerns for Jason and Kate, but he wasn’t listening. Folding his arms behind his head, he just watched her.

As Emma tugged on her favorite pajamas, Jack had a flash of her falling from Lucifer’s arms again. His heart became pain. It must have shown on his face because she stopped lotioning up her arms and crawled onto the bed next to him.

“What’s wrong?” She put a hand on his face.

He leaned into her touch and turned his head to kiss her palm. “I watched Lucifer kill you. You fell from the sky, and when I caught you? There was nothing left but glitter.”

“I’m so sorry.” She put her head on his chest and clenched his shirt, right above his aching heart. “I can’t even imagine.”

“Here’s the thing, you keep wanting to do that to me again.”

She pulled her head up, startled. “What? Never.”

Shaking his head, he looked sadly at his angel. “With this whole Jason and Kate thing, you want to take that burden from them, get involved, visit them, see if Jason’s soul is in a good spot.”

She watched him, swallowing. What he said rang true. It was who she was.

“But I think you did your part. I think you get to say a prayer for them and live your fucking life for you. For us.” He touched her lips.

The bedroom was quiet for a while, and Jack was scared. What if telling her this made her leave? Was being a version of an angel more important than being in his every day?

“You’re right.” She rolled off of him and flopped on the bed. Absently she pulled out the knot in her hair.

He was afraid to breathe, paralyzed by the hope that she’d just live with him, for the time they had.

“You know,
we
were brought together, but I had to seek them out.” She watched their fan loop circles on the ceiling. “You are my gift, my prize for lives well lived. And I’m here trying to borrow a situation I surely can’t fix.”

Exactly.
He didn’t want to say it out loud. She had to see this on her own.

“What should I do? I can’t ignore them now that I know where they are.” The light from the hallway lay on the bed with her, making two slices of illumination at her sides, almost like wings.

“Really? I think a Christmas card and a few visits a year should suffice. Could you do that? It might keep me sane.” Jack flipped onto his stomach and hushed his opinionated mouth.

“Yeah. I owe it to you, after all.” Her hand threaded into his hair, gently tugging.

“Nope. It has to be for you, not me,” he said.

Jack loved her lips, they were so pink. She fidgeted.

“You feel guilty because it’s a relief,” he said. He twisted her hand and placed a lingering kiss on her wrist. “They’ve been at this for over twenty years. We’re
humans
now. What the Hell are we going to be able to do if they have a demon baby? Can we help? Can
you
breastfeed it fire? Who the Hell knows what Kate’s going to pop out. You and me. That’s it.”

“But to just write them off? I don’t know.” Emma let her hand fall from his lips and touch his leather necklaces.

“I’m not saying write them off. I’m saying we should do what we can. Which is nothing.” He held his breath again. This was asking her so, so much. He knew it.

She sighed like she was getting ready for a painful procedure. “Okay. Fine. I’m not going to try to fix it, or get involved. I’ll pray, and we can stay friendly, but I’ll live this life for you, for me. For us.” Her smile was genuine.

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

Emma’s voice was soft, but she answered with conviction. “Really.”

“Well, hot damn. Did not expect that.” Jack covered her quickly, hugging and kissing her as if they had forever.

A small bark from outside woke them, partially clothed and tangled together, as the sun slanted into the bedroom. They looked suspiciously at each other, then went to look. Jack popped open the window, and Emma gasped at the small puppy squeak-barking at their window.

Emma slapped Jack’s bicep. “Don’t just stand there! Go get me that pile of cute!”

Jack shook his head. “No way, baby. It’s someone’s. They’ll be around to get it.”

It took a few more barks from the puppy and a few more moments of silence from Emma before Jack sighed in exasperation. “Fine, damn it.”

Even he had to smile when he came back into the room. “You’ll never guess what this little bastard’s name is. He’s got a collar and everything.”

She shook her head as she took the correct guess. “Smoosh?”

Jack nodded as he passed the little puppy to her. Their dragon had come, sent by God to be part of their family in this life. Emma smiled. Jack pulled another puppy from behind his back. Smoke looked just like his brother. The puppies’ timing was perfect because it confirmed the meaning of her dream the night before. She had to share.

She watched Jack for a few moments. He was clearly losing the battle to avoid falling in love with Smoosh, who nipped at his fingers relentlessly. She tucked her hair behind her ears.

“So, last night I had a dream, and I believe it was a message.”

“From my dick saying how much it loves you?” Jack flipped Smoosh onto his back to rub his belly.

“Well, that and from Claudette. Your old angel flame? She was laying out the plans for Kate and Jason’s baby. She told me the child would become a great peacemaker. I really wish…” Emma trailed off. She’d made a promise and didn’t want to go back on it.

“You could go deliver the news?” Jack picked up her foot and rubbed it in a way she particularly loved.

Emma waited him out.

“Why don’t you send Kate and Jason a nice, old-fashioned letter? I’m sure that would fulfill your angel requirements as a messenger without getting tits-deep in their drama.”

The puppy began play-fighting Jack’s hand. He growled back at him, then leaned in to find her lips.

His mouth took away her cares, the running lists of things that needed to be done, the lingering doubt that she should be living differently—all of it faded until she could only feel him. His lips, his relentless hands. This go around would be for their love, she promised as she lost herself in his skillful touch. And when they were both exhausted, naked, and spent, she thanked him.

“I know if I’d decided to stay all up in Jason’s business you’d have supported me.”

He was having a cigarette. She ran her hand through the smoke.

“Darlin’, I’d follow you off a cliff riding a horse with its tail on fire.” His face glowed orange as he inhaled again.

“I know.” She hadn’t asked him yet, but it was far beyond time. “How did you die, after I did?”

“Let’s not.” He shifted uncomfortably.

“You have the burden of knowing how I died.” She pulled a blanket off the floor and covered herself, suddenly chilled. She covered his bottom half as well.

He glanced at her and gave her the smile she loved by way of a thank you. “Doesn’t mean you deserve the same knowledge.” Jack stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray he must have rescued from the trash.

“Did you have anyone else?” She bit her lip.

He tsked at her and gave her a look of disbelief. “Of course not. You really want to know?”

Emma nodded, eyes wide.

“I simply challenged Lucy for the position of Devil and refused to fight back. It was over in minutes.” One of his hands began to tremble.

He was right. She didn’t need that knowledge. Her imagination put her right back on Earth’s battlefield, picturing her love cut down. Minutes could feel like forever. She started to cry, the sadness a sudden punch.

He cuddled her to his chest, rubbing her back. “Hey, I’m here. I’m here, and I’m fine. Actually, I’m great. I’ve got my girl, a huge dick, and my girl. What more do I need?”

She laughed a little and understood more of where his overwhelming need to keep her safe came from. “A little modesty might serve you.” She pinched his nipple.

“Ouch! For fuck’s sake, that’s not even fair.” He got out of bed and went to a dresser drawer. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Emma shrugged. “Of course.”

Jack opened a small box and pulled out what looked a Hell of a lot like an engagement ring.

He kneeled, naked at her side, and she sat up, covering herself with the sheet.

“No.” He pulled on the sheet so she was topless in front of him. “I’m proposing to your tits too.”

She gave him the middle finger. Jack trapped both her hands in one of his. He slid the ring on the pert nipple on her left breast.

“Left breast? Will you be mine forever?” Jack spoke to her chest.

Emma wiggled a shoulder while speaking in a high-pitched voice. “Sure, unless we have a kid. Then you’re shit out of luck for a few years.”

“That’s how your boob talks?” Jack’s smile was huge, his eyes dancing with laughter.

“It is now.” She wiggled the ring from her breast, and he caught it before it hit the ground. “You’re really screwing this up,” she said. “I think this might be the worst proposal in the history of the world.”

Jack pulled her to the edge of the bed until she straddled him. He slid himself inside her, and she sighed despite their joking mood.

Connected, he sobered up. “Okay, how’s this? I’ve been to Heaven and Hell. I’ve seen the whole world, but the only thing that makes me want to live is this: being inside you. Say yes, pretty child. I love you so much. You’re all I see.”

She nodded then, smiling while she held out her hand.

“That’s your right hand. Let’s do it on the other one, yes?” He slipped the beautiful diamond on her hand. It wasn’t the biggest, but it was crystal clear.

“I will be your wife, no matter how many lives we live,” she declared. She took his face in her hands and kissed him while he rocked her back and forth on his lap.

“Wait now, I just asked you about this one.” He held up his hands as if offended.

“All or nothing, Satan.” Emma kissed Jack hard and long.

When he finally came up for air, he answered easily. “All, pretty child. I want it all.”