Bittersweet Endeavors (49 page)

“
Those are not your words you speak,
but
the
words of your father!
  You swore you’d not make his mistakes with your own son, Seth.
”

“
Tis
not fair,
Myra
.  We’re not discussing our
fate
, but that of our son.
 
Decisions we make for ourselves is one
issue
, but I’ll not be
accountable
for stealing Jonathon’s birthright.  So help me God, he’ll get what is
due him
.”

He
reached for her but
Myra
shrugged him off
,
turned
around
,
and looked
out the window.  “Can you live without knowing your son, Seth?” she murmured.  “
Your son
shall
grow
and
know another
man as
his father
.
  Can you
truly
live with
that?”

Seth didn’t answer. 

“And what of me
?
” she continued.  “Can you
tell me true and say it’d
not bother you to know that
the
same man
who you
r
child will call father
will
also
call me wife, and shall be sharing my bed
?  Does that matter naught
to you
?”

Again, Seth
didn’t answer
. 
Myra
closed her eyes
and resigned herself
to the anger that nearly
toppled her.  “I see,” she spat out
.  “Then
take your leave
, Seth!
  If it matters naught to you, then by all means
leave
!
”

“
Myra
,” he began.

“
Nay
,” she said
and waved him off
.  “
If that is your
resolution
, be sure
of it
now, for it
shall
be too late by
dawn
.  If that is what you wish
for us
,
it’s
what I
shalt
do!
”

“
Myra
, this is what’s
right for you and our son.  You have to understand that. 
If
we
do not obey
T
he
K
ing,
we
’d be forced to live secretly
.  Jonathon would have to hide
!
  Is that what you want for him? 
You know I love you,
Myra
,
and
that
shalt
never change.  You must never doubt that.”

Myra
stood by the window
and watched
the lavish carriages and well-dressed women and gentlemen of London society go by. 
They all looked so
full of merriment
. 
Myra
thought a
mo
ment and tried to remember when she
last
felt happiness.
It was
a lifetime ago.  She
had
hoped
her time
was
then, as she had
paid
her
penance for
offense
s
she
never committed
.
Yet
her current situation
was
nearly
a
s bad, if not worse
,
than what she
had
already endured
.
 
Myra felt that t
hey deserved better than what was dealt to them. 
They’ve
suffered
too
much not to be together
.  It angered her
that Se
th
was willing to
give up
.  W
hy wouldn’t he fight for her
…for
them
? 

After
years of
misled
influence
that
Anvil
placed
up
on him
, what more could she expect?  Ha
d
n’t
wealth
and power always guided Anvil?  Wasn’t that what Anvil embedded in Seth’s mind, too?  He
tried
to be honorable.  Misguided, but honorable nonetheless, and she couldn’t fault him for that.
 
It was Jonathon he was looking out for, as his father had looked out for him. 

Seth
hadn’t
s
poken
another word
as she sat in thought
.  S
he turned
around, prepared
to
beg him
in
to
fight
ing
for their love
, even if it meant
her
begging
at The
King
’s feet.  But Seth
was gone.

Without her aware, he
had
already quit the room.

*                    *                    *

The day’s light was
nearly diminished
and
the
time
closed in
for her return to
T
he
K
ing’s court
and
wed
Sutherling.  Seth
didn’t
return
,
and
Thomas
’s attempt
s
produced
futile
results
when he looked for him
. 
She wondered if had
already
found passage and
began his journey back
to
Jamestown
.  Her heart ached.  She wanted to scream, forget all that
took
place the previous few
days.  Not only did she need to contend with being
Suthe
r
ling’s n
ew bride
,
but
she now fretted over
her uncle’s escape
and his vengeful words at time of parting
.  The
K
ing se
n
t forth se
ntinels
to
find him
, but they
still ha
d
n’t returned
with any word of their success
.

A knock at the door brought her out of reverie and she rushed
and answered
the call.
 
Thomas
greeted her, his face saddened and full of regret.

“I
apologize, milady,” he said.  “
I tried my
best, but
Seth
still cannot be
found. 
There is talk that he may be headed for the docks, though.  I shall be sending men
forth
to explore that further. 
I
also
discover
ed
information
about your uncle
, as well as an update on the other matter you
requested that I inquire
about
.”

Myra
swallowe
d hard, and by the grim expression
on
Thomas
’s face,
the news
he brought
wasn’t
good on any account.

“
Your uncle has
gathered some of his men, and
it is said that he
intends to strik
e tonight whil
st
his anger still burns fresh.  With Lord Sutherling
’s age, he fe
els
he’
ll
not stand a
s a worthy
challenge
r
to protect you.”

“And he’s probably right
,
”
Myra
sighed
.

“Milady,” he said softly.
  Lines of worry
fell dark across his handsome face, and
Myra
smiled. 

“
Tis
all right,
Thomas
.  Whatever my uncle attempts, I
’
ll be prepared
,” she said more bravely than she felt. 
He smiled,
but she
saw the
concern in his eyes
. 
He’
d
been a dear friend to her since her journey to the
colonies
. 
A
godsend,
in fact,
she thought.  She
wished there was a way to
show him the amount of gratitude she felt in her heart.

“
With Seth gone
,
and
Lord Sutherl
ing
presently
at court to take my hand
,
I must resign
and surrender
to
my
unfortunate lot
. 
I’ve been through worse and survived
,” she added.  “
What more can I
ask than that
?”
  She tried to sound confident and thought she pulled it off well.
“I
n comparison to the dangers I
faced in my life, if marriage to L
ord Sutherling is the worst I
now face, I shall be thankful.”

“Milady, if I may be so bold to suggest,” he said,
and his words lingered as he
stood in
thought
.

“
You have another
resolution
?
”
she asked, hopeful. 
Thomas
didn’t answer at first.
His booted feet shuffled on the floor and he held his head down.  In all the time
Myra
knew
him, she never
s
aw
him so anxious.

“Lord Sutherling
is old, and I beg
your pardon, milady, but I do not
understand
T
he
K
ing’s
reasoning
in making such
a
decision
.  T
here are many younger men as worthy
to take your hand
.  Yet,
I believe I can sway him.”

“You can speak to him on Seth and my behalf?” she asked excitedly.  “Do you think he’
ll
change his mind?”

“
Nay
, milady,” he said quietly.  “I don’t believe he’ll change his mind with regard to Seth, but . . .”

Myra
didn’t hide her disappointment.  Her shoulders slumped and she
collapsed
into the
hard walnut
chair.  “But what?” she asked confused.

“He may accept me as candidate for your husband.”

“You?”
she asked, and didn’t hide her surprise.

“Please, milady, there’s no reason to seem so appalled,” he retorted.

“Oh,
nay
,
Thomas
,
I apologize if I
appear
ungrateful or bemused.  It’s only that, with all due respect, why would he accept you
over Seth
?”

“Milady,
” he laughed.  “
I’m not the pauper
or an
indenture
as
you’ve come to know in
Jamestown
.  
S
urely you don’t see me as such still?”

“Why
nay
, of course not
,
”
she lied.
 
Even
then he stood in front of her
adorned with fine clothing and trinkets, it was difficult for Myra to see him as
anything
other than what she’d come to know him back in Jamestown.