Bittersweet Darkness (31 page)

He had to find a way to make her see past the whole demon thing. Show her he was a nice guy underneath.

A long way underneath.

Hell, he was definitely kidding himself now.

He’d never been one of her “good guys.” He wasn’t sure he had it in him. But he’d always followed his own set of rules.

“You seem a little distracted,” Luc murmured. “Am I keeping you from something important?”

“Yes. Get to the fucking point,” he snapped.

Luc laughed. “There is someone who would like a meeting with you.”

“And that would be?”

“Raphael.”

“Great.”

“It appears you were involved in some sort of fracas.”

“So?”

“With your new friends. Against the angels?”

“Maybe.” He couldn’t lie to Luc. Not with Luc’s sigil twined around his arm, marking his debt.

“What have the Order been up to that has brought the wrath of heaven down on them?”

“It’s not really council business. There’s a woman—the angels want her dead.”

“Ah.”

What did “ah” mean? “She’s part fallen angel.” He felt the need to clarify the situation. “You know how they feel about that.”

“So why don’t the Order hand her over?”

“She’s Piers Lamont’s woman.”

“Ah.”

“Stop fucking saying that.”

Luc laughed again. “You know, when I ordered you to join this new committee, I never really thought you would get involved.”

“I’m not involved.”

“You fought beside Christian Roth. I think Raphael believes the Order is getting too powerful. He doesn’t like this new accord between us and the fae.”

Ash thought about it. In a way, it made sense. While an accord between the factions would lead to peace, the angels didn’t like any change to the status quo. Maybe they suspected that an alliance between the fae and the demons would mean the angels were no longer the biggest dicks on the block.

But under the Shadow Accords, they were not allowed to interfere in the workings of the Order. Not allowed to interfere directly with the three worlds. They should be powerless to intervene.

And he was betting that would really piss them off.

“So, Raphael?” he asked.

“He’s awaiting you.” Luc nodded through an archway at the far end of the room.

“He’s here?”

Shit, Raphael must be desperate if he’d come to the Abyss. Usually they would demand a meeting on neutral ground. This was his world and even Raphael could not stand against him here. The angel must be sure that whatever he was going to say, would keep him safe.

For the first time, Ash’s curiosity was aroused.

“Are you joining us?” he asked Luc.

“No. He wanted to speak with you alone. And we don’t really get on.”

No, Luc was the ultimate fallen angel. Though in all truth he hadn’t fallen, he’d jumped.
Better to rule in hell than have to listen to Raphael’s pious outpourings for one more day
, he’d once told Ash.

Ash hoped this wouldn’t take too long. He had to get back. Do something nice. He just wasn’t sure what. The whole idea was an alien concept. Maybe he’d ask Tara for advice. There had definitely been a softening toward him there.

He strolled across the room and through the tall archway into a smaller chamber. Raphael sat on a chair in front of a flickering fire. His light was muted, and he appeared human. He was smiling. That couldn’t be good.

Ash didn’t trust him an inch. Angels were tricky bastards and devious as hell.

Raphael rose to his feet as Ash appeared. “Asmodai.”

“Raphael. What do you want?”

“Blunt as always. To talk to you. To make you an offer. Come sit with me.”

Ash moved farther into the room. “I’d rather stand, thank you.”

Raphael gave a casual shrug and sat down. He stared into the fire for a few minutes while Ash tried to curb his impatience. Finally, he looked back at Ash. “We want the abomination.”

It was Ash’s turn to shrug. “I can’t help you. I don’t know where she is.”

“We know she has disappeared with the vampire. But they will return. And when they do, we would like you to hand her over to us.”

“And how would I do that?”

“You are on this committee now. You fought with Christian Roth against us. They trust you. You will find a way to separate her from Lamont and bring her to us.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because we’ll offer you something in return.”

Again, his curiosity stirred. No way would he betray the Order. That would definitely show him up as a bad guy. And any softening Tara might have toward him was likely to harden into granite. But what could they possibly offer him? One way to find out. “What?”

“We will return your dead wife, Lillian of the fae, to you.”

Shock rocked him on his feet. He staggered and took the final step to the seat opposite Raphael. He sank down and stared into the flames. Could they do it? It went against all the laws of Heaven.

Lily had passed over. Was it possible to bring her back? A vision of her rose up and seemed to dance in the flames. She’d been the most beautiful woman he had ever known. Both inside and out. Her purity of spirit had been like a light shining from her.

But immediately another vision superimposed itself. Faith.

Faith, who was fragile and human.

He’d told her he was beginning to care for her. The truth was he loved her.

That didn’t lessen the love he’d felt for Lily. Before her, he’d always been a loner. He’d taken women when the need had moved him, but he’d never shared anything of himself with them. She had transformed him. There’d been a slight glitch when he’d lost her, but he’d never reverted completely. And when he’d found Tara was alive, he’d wanted to be better. He’d wanted her to look at him as though he was worthy of her love.

But this wasn’t a choice between Faith and Lily. The truth was, he’d already made that decision and moved on. He loved Faith now. The choice was between Roz and Lily. One would die so the other could live. His head hurt.

He glanced across and saw a small smile flicker across the angel’s face. Smug bastard. He thought he had him. And in all honesty, Ash wasn’t sure that he didn’t. For the first time he could remember, he didn’t know what to do. His head felt as though it was splitting. He forced himself to think clearly. “How could you bring her back?”

“Believe me—we can. It’s been approved.”

“I told you, I don’t know where…the abomination is.”

“Just pledge to help us, and we will bring your woman back.”

Ash rose to his feet. His mind spun. He needed to get away from here. Think. Because maybe this wasn’t his choice to make. Lily had been his wife, but she was also Tara’s mother. A mother she had never known. Did he have the right to deny her that chance?

“Well?” Raphael prompted.

“I need more time.” He had to talk to his daughter.

Raphael frowned. Obviously, he’d been sure of the outcome. Ash held himself still under the intense scrutiny.

“You have a day,” Raphael murmured. “After that the offer is withdrawn.”

Ash whirled around and stalked from the room.

Raphael called out as he was under the archway. “Come back here when you have decided.”

Luc waited in the outer room, but Ash nodded curtly and didn’t pause. He needed to be alone. He launched himself into the air as soon as he was out in the open. Higher and higher, he rose and flew until his wings ached. Finally, he landed on a rocky outcrop high on a mountain. From here, he could see his castle, black against the twilight sky.

He loved this place.

He loved the mountains, the chill of the cold clear air. He liked to visit Earth, liked to play with their technology, but he always felt the need to return here.

Would Tara want Lily back? Or would she think the price too high? He suspected he knew what her answer would be. Tara had inherited her mother’s purity of spirit. She seemed to have nothing of him inside her. All the same, he needed to speak to her.

But one thing wasn’t clear. Why were the angels willing to offer so much for Roz? She wasn’t that important.

Could they have other motives?

Such as the destruction of the newly formed committee.

Because Ash had no doubt that would be a side effect if he went ahead and betrayed Roz. Lamont would implode. He should be unable to call a war on such a personal matter, but Ash doubted that he would see it that way. And Piers would come after Ash with everything he could muster.

Also, Roz was the Walker’s daughter. The Walker was a fae assassin but his brother ruled the fae. If Ash handed Roz over to the angels, that would be the end of any alliance between the fae and the demons. It would be outright war.

How did he feel about that?

To his surprise—badly. The committee was the way forward. It could only be a matter of time before humans discovered monsters really did live among them. With technology increasing, hiding became harder.

The alternative was to withdraw completely back to their own worlds.

But he didn’t like that idea either.

No the Council was definitely the way forward. Only the angels didn’t see it that way.

He rubbed his hand over his face and longed to go home. See Faith. Hold her. If he held her, then everything would become clear.

But first, he had to talk to Tara. Tell her he had the power to bring back her mother. He launched himself off the outcrop and headed for home.

When he landed in the courtyard, he took on his human guise. He unstrapped the sword and handed it to a servant; he didn’t want to scare Faith if he came across her. Maybe she’d be watching for him and now she’d rush out, leap into his arms, tell him she hadn’t meant what she’d said.

Jesus, he was pathetic.

He definitely felt pathetic, as though his whole world had been turned upside down and inside out and he no longer knew who or what he was.

He headed for the room where Tara was staying with Christian. After knocking on the door, he waited, shifting impatiently. He thought they might not be in, but then he heard footsteps. The door was yanked open and Christian stood there, naked but for a pair of obviously hastily pulled on jeans.

“What?” he snarled.

“I need to speak to Tara.”

“She’s asleep.”

He swallowed down his urge to punch Christian on the nose and took a deep breath. “It’s important.”

Christian examined him for a moment, his brows drawing together. “Okay. I’ll go see if she’ll talk to you.”

He could hear their murmured conversation, and the rustle of clothes. Tara appeared a minute later. He expected her to be hostile. She usually was, but a small smile curved her lips. He stared at her for long moments. She was so like her mother, that pain stabbed him in the chest.

“What is it?” she asked and he could hear the concern in her voice.

“Can I talk to you?” He glanced over her shoulder and couldn’t see Christian. But he wanted this conversation to be private. He didn’t want her to be influenced by anyone else.

She bit her lip, but nodded and followed him. He led the way to a small parlor and indicated that she should take a seat. Then sat down opposite, resting his arms on his thighs and staring into the fire.

“Tell me,” she said.

But now he had her here, he couldn’t seem to get the words out. What if she wanted him to take the deal? What if her mother was more important than his honor?

Than the committee?

Than Faith?

“I’ve seen Raphael,” he said. “He offered me a deal. In exchange for handing over Roz.”

Confusion flowed across her features. “But you told him no.”

“Not yet. I have a day.”

“Why didn’t you tell them to go to hell?”

“I needed to speak to you first. This is more your decision than mine.”

Her brows drew together in a frown. “I don’t understand. What did they offer you?”

“To bring your mother back from the dead.”

Her mouth fell open. Whatever she’d been expecting it obviously hadn’t been even vaguely close. What a surprise. She swallowed, looked away. Looked back. “Can they do that?”

“It’s against the laws, but Raphael assured me it’s been authorized.”

“What did you tell them?”

“Nothing. I—” He got up and paced the room, ran a hand through his hair. “It took me by surprise.”

“I don’t remember her,” Tara said.

“She was beautiful and good and…” He shook his head. Not wanting to go on.

Tara finished for him. “And she would have been the first person to say no to this deal. To tell you that you can’t sacrifice your friends.”

“No. Only yourself. Lily died giving you life.”

Anger flashed across her face. “You want to make this deal?”

As she said the words, his thoughts crystalized in his mind until they were sharp and clear. “No. But I’m not sure of my motives when I say that. That’s why I need you to decide.”

“I don’t understand.”

He paced some more, then came to a halt in front of her. “I—” He forced himself to go on. “I’m in love with Faith. What if that is what’s driving my decision?”

He’d expected to see more shock but instead, she nodded. “I could tell you cared for her.”

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me. Apparently, I’m a monster.”

A faint smile flickered across her face. “My mother probably thought the same—at first.”

“She always did and loved me in spite of it.”

“Maybe she saw what you could be. Don’t make that a lie by bringing her back. Not under these circumstances. Not at the expense of Roz.”

“There’s more to it than that. I believe they want to destroy the Council.” He explained his reasoning and she nodded again.

“I’ll tell Christian. It probably won’t come as a surprise.”

“Why?”

“Well, Ryan just informed us that apparently Faith’s ultimate boss at MI13 was a man called Raphael.”

“Shit. That would explain how they were able to keep Tara hidden from me.” He rubbed a finger over his forehead. “The bastard has been trying to bring down the Order using mankind.”

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to work out how that could be of use to them. The angels had broken no end of laws by interfering in the Order and involving humans. Surely, Ash could use that as leverage to get them to leave off Roz.